((Chapter heading is a song by Delain and it fits in two places. I edited rather heavily while proofreading, so I might have missed something here or there.))

Chapter 3

See Me in Shadow

Spock had half expected to have to urge Jim to return and bring McCoy with him, so when the door to their cabin opened and his bondmate stepped inside, he was relieved. 'I did not expect you to return so soon,' he told him. Despite the smile Jim gave him, Spock felt his insecurity, strong and almost overwhelming. Now that he was here, Spock decided to do as he had half wanted before and shield. He barely had his defence up when the smile tumbled from Jim's face. 'Are you angry, Spock? Please don't be. I'll make up for it.' Spock raised an eyebrow at him and kept his shield firmly in place.

'I am not angry. I am … beset.' Angry or not, Spock had intended to let Jim struggle a little, but he found himself unable. He walked over to him and held him, his hands smoothing over his back in a gentle caress. 'Your attempts to shield were well-meant, but the repeated removal was challenging.' He took Jim by his shoulders and pushed him far enough away to look at him. 'Has Leonard returned with you?' Jim nodded and buried his face in Spock's shoulder again. Spock sighed and manoeuvred him to the bed. 'I believe you need rest.' Jim lay down with no resistance.

'I believe you're right, first officer,' he answered, eyes already half closed and the smile back in place, this time without the hint of anxiety. Spock shook his head slightly, partly at Jim, partly at himself and his lack of determination, and placed a kiss on Jim's lips.

'Good night, beloved. I shall be with you in a while.' He tugged the boots from Jim's feet and stripped him down to his briefs before covering him with the blanket. The human had already fallen asleep when he was finished. Spock walked back to the computer and contacted the space station, requesting that T'Kray stop whatever she was doing and return to the ship. In the meantime, he would try to locate Leonard. Chances were that he was in a similar state or worse. If it was the latter and he needed medical attention, Spock did not want to risk waiting for T'Kray's return.

As it turned out, Leonard was quite chipper – certainly drunk but rather cheerful and perhaps a little less wasted. 'Hey, Spock,' he said when Spock found him in his quarters. 'Checking if I'm in any danger of passing out in the corridors? Don't you worry.'

'Since this behaviour is uncommon in you and Jim, my concern is, at least, limited.' Leonard squinted at him.

'What's wrong? Something's wrong, and don't try to deny it. I know you.'

'I believe this is not the time.'

'Depends. If you just want to talk, why not? Trust me, I've been worse. And I don't think I can sleep now anyway.' He took a step closer, gazing at Spock as if trying to read his thoughts from his forehead. 'If you're worried about Jim, he'll be fine. Maybe he'll be sick, but I don't even think so.'

'I did not believe that his state is threatening,' Spock answered, sizing Leonard up. He was in better shape than Jim, so maybe it made sense to speak to him. The worst that could happened was that Spock had to say it again the next day. 'But I do have something on my mind. Blanik spoke to me earlier. He is worried about Charika.' Leonard growled.

'He doesn't like him, whatever he said wasn't worry.'

'I am uncertain. His concern seemed genuine.' Spock sat down on one of the chairs. 'Apparently Charika demanded to see his file, which is his right.' Leonard's face fell.

'Oh no.' The shock he displayed was out of proportion but not entirely unexpected. 'And now what?'

'Now he seemed distracted, alarmed even. I had a short conversation with him. Charika was not what one could call talkative. When he left, he asked me what trisomy 8 is.' Leonard swore and buried his face in his hands.

'Damn. Damn that patients can read their files. Damn the man for being so inquisitive!' He glared at Spock. 'What the hell did you tell him?'

'Not much, since I did not know. I told him that you would answer his questions.' Leonard sighed.

'Yeah. Sure. Damn, Spock. I wanted … I thought if he didn't know he wouldn't get self-conscious and wouldn't, you know …'

'Doctor, I have done some research. Is he able to work on a star ship?' The glare Spock received could burn through a solid wall.

'You know the man! It's not that simple. Mosaicism! The one important word's the one he doesn't bother memorising.' Spock's eyebrows vanished behind his hairs. 'Well, he doesn't have it too bad. He has a few shortcomings, but as long as he doesn't try communications no-one will ever notice.'

'At any rate, he appeared to be frightened. Doctor, it is none of my business, but I feel that T'Kray should speak to him.' Leonard shook his head slowly.

'I'll do that. She doesn't know enough about it to get that particular bug back out of his head.' He got to his feet, stared straight ahead for a few seconds, and sat back down. 'But not today.'

'Agreed. You should attempt to sleep, Leonard.' McCoy looked miffed at that suggestion but shuffled to his bed anyway.

'I will. Good night. And … thanks for seeing if I'm fine.'

ϡ

When T'Kray returned to the Covenant, she found Leonard fast asleep. Assuming that he wasn't going to wake up if something exploded next to him, she didn't try particularly hard not to disturb him. When she saw him stirring from the computer, she wondered if she had somehow transmitted anything on a telepathic level.

Judging from the way he approached her, he wasn't entirely sure what she'd say. The bright blue eyes were large and almost pleading. 'Hey,' he said quietly. 'I … I'm sorry.'

'What for?'

'Oh, come on.' Abandoning her look through her database, T'Kray walked to stand in front of him.

'Lenkam. I honestly don't know what you are apologising for. We had no plans other than work on that station, so you can hardly think you disrupted them. You have returned safely and within the timeframe. This is the first time you are inebriated since I have met you, so I do not have to fear this will become a habit.'

'I thought you might be mad. It's a bit illogical to get drunk, don't you think?'

'Agreed.' She shrugged. 'You don't fully understand why I meditate. I don't fully understand this. It seems to serve a similar purpose.'

'Well, I don't plan to drink whenever you meditate,' Leonard said with a grin. T'Kray ran two fingers over his cheek.

'And most of the time, you don't even throw me out of my concentration.' The smile on his face turned a little suggestive.

'I try to avoid it, but when you sit all and I start watching you it gets hard … not to stimulate you. Your mind, I mean.' Amusement danced in his eyes as he bounced on the balls of his feet. His dialect was very pronounced, either because of the alcohol or because he knew that for some illogical reason she loved when he did that. Shaking her head, T'Kray took Leonard's face into both hands and looked at him.

'Go back to sleep, Ashayam. I'll be with you soon.'

ϡ

Leonard awoke with a headache the size of Georgia. On the bedside table was a hypo and a note from T'Kray that she was going back to Karon. Ignoring the hypo, he walked to the computer and tried calling Jim and Spock's quarters. It took a moment before a voice he only recognised as Jim's because he'd known him for so long answered with little more than a grunt. They agreed on breakfast in the mess, although Jim tried to ask for a new head instead. Spock, too, was going to come so Leonard decided to take that hypo after all. Usually he considered hangovers a justified punishment and didn't do anything about them, but if he had to face Spock, he'd rather get rid of it.

By the time they had eaten, Leonard felt like a human being again. 'When are you back on duty, Jim?'

'Tomorrow alpha shift. As are you.' Leonard sighed. He hadn't intended to work during his free time, but there was something he really didn't want to postpone.

'You got plans?'

'Karon has a lot of traders in antiques and various food supplied the replicators can't get right. I wanted to go there today.'

'Can that wait till the afternoon? There's something I'd like to do as soon as I can before I allow myself leisure time.'

'Charika?' Spock asked, and Leonard nodded. 'I was uncertain if you would remember. Leonard huffed at him.

'I wasn't that drunk.' Jim's expression had darkened.

'What about him? If this is about Blanik again …' Leonard raised his hands.

'Don't crucify the man before you know he's guilty. Charika knows what he's got, and it must have upset him.'

'What has he got?'

'Nothing of any consequence,' Leonard said in a tone that made it clear he wouldn't be more forthcoming and rose. 'Is he available now, Spock?'

'He should be in engineering. But you can, of course, call him to sickbay, if you are willing to sacrifice your spare time.'

'I am. Because in my spare time there's someone else on call, so I might actually get to finish what I start.'

ϡ

T'Kray pretended not to notice the Vulcan who had just walked into sickbay. He didn't have to know she had been watching for him. When she finally did look up as if sensing his stare, she raised an eyebrow. Raising her hand in the Vulcan salute, she spoke the words to go with it. 'Live long and prosper, Stal. I am T'Kray.' He didn't blink, merely tilted his head to the side minutely.

'The dissenter?' His hands were firmly by his side as if he didn't even consider returning the greeting.

'I am not a dissenter.' She managed to say that without raising her voice even a little, but her heart sank a little. If this was how she was commonly referred to … but then, why would the VSA even want her?

'How do you know who I am?'

'I assumed there are not many Vulcans around here. I came with the USS Covenant.'

'Ah. I see.'

'Seeing how I've already run into you, do you mind me asking you something?' Taking the absence of a rejection as an invitation, she continued. 'Were you informed why you were asked to return to the VSA?'

'I do not believe that I am to divulge whatever information I may have to you.' Perhaps it was her bond to such an emotional man as Leonard, perhaps it was the fact that T'Kray had never truly denied herself emotions. Whatever it was, she had a hard time not narrowing her eyes and answering with a hiss.

'I received the same request.' She did narrow her eyes when she continued, but her voice remained even. 'Since I am apparently not only a nonconformist but a dissenter,' she said, lacing the last word with a small amount of venom, 'and a psychologist to boot, I am confused. A pariah with a worthless area of study is of no use to the VSA.'

'Agreed.' For a moment, T'Kray was speechless.

'Very well. I did not ask for this, Stal, and I will not be in your way. I refused. I can, you see.'

'So on top of rejecting Surak's wisdom you abandon your people when you are needed.'

'Stal, you are not being very logical,' she pointed out. Anger blazed in the dark eyes of the man standing in front of her. 'You see, if I am so useless, it can hardly matter if I abandon anyone. Besides,' she continued slightly louder when he was going to talk over her, 'I cannot abandon anyone if I get no information.'

'It is highly unlikely that I know more than you do,' he grated.

'I know only who was summoned. I do not know why. I cannot prepare anything. Stal, I do not reject Surak. I follow his words almost to the letter. I do it differently because I do not interpret his words in the conventional way.'

'Which amounts to dissent.'

'Negative. If that were the case they would hardly want me to come to Vulcan. I am not an exile, Stal.'

'Not yet.'

'Well, in this conversation I was not the one who displayed arrogance, discourtesy, and aggression.' Deciding to push him some more just because she could, T'Kray smiled. Not much, but clearly visibly. The disgust on Stal's face was even more satisfying than she had thought it would be. 'Good day, Stal. I am certain we shall have an … interesting time working together.' With that, she left him standing there to see to the woman still secluded in her private room.

ϡ

When Charika entered Leonard's office, he looked more scared than he had ever seen the young man. His eyes, as always out of sync, were fixing a point behind his left shoulder. 'Need a drink?' he asked. Charika swallowed and nodded. 'Myself, I'll pass.' Leonard poured a generous amount of bourbon into a glass. 'I overdid it a bit last night and don't feel like repeating that any time soon.' A fleeting grin ghosted over Charika's face as he accepted the glass. 'Are you all right?'

'You tell me,' Charika said. 'I looked it up, you know.' Leonard waved him away.

'You can have found obsolete data at best, Charika,' he said calmly. 'You see, on Earth, what you've got, what your friend Matee had … it doesn't happen. You know why?' Charika shook his head. Leonard sighed inwardly. This was going to be a one-sided conversation. 'Because … we can test for it and … well, cure it long before birth. Before you ask, no, I can't do that for an adult. Thing is, though, such anomalies were very common on your planet. You see, the entire human population started with a couple of hundred people and in a short time there were a lot of them. Which means, they … well, they had children with more or less closely related people. A lot. And that messes up the gene pool and results in a lot of sick or stillborn kids. Matee was a lot worse, she had asthma and was struggling with life in general. You on the other hand …'

'I'm just a bit dumb, is that what you're saying?' Leonard folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, eyeing Charika.

'Did anyone say that to you?'

'No. But like I said, I read.'

'Primeval data!' Leonard said emphatically. 'That aside, you have … God, this is tough to explain. And don't even get started, if anyone tried to explain the finer points of warp drive to me, they'd have a hard time, too.' A tiny laugh escaped the defeated being, and Leonard smiled at him. 'Where you are, you're more than able. You get these things, better than many others. You've invented a damn teleporter, for crying out loud. With practically nothing to go by. Without it, I wouldn't be sitting here. So don't sell yourself short. The fact of the matter is, what physical limitations you had were corrected. That was mostly your eyesight. You were treated for that right after you went out into space. You also would have developed other afflictions later in life, but that could be avoided. Your mind's working fine, except for one little detail: You'd have a fairly hard time learning a language. But I don't think you were planning to do that, were you?' Charika frowned.

'No.'

'You are that healthy because only some of the cells in your body are affected by what you've got. That's a very simplified explanation, if you want to know more about that, I have to start with more basic biology.'

'No, I'll pass.'

'Right. If you change your mind, you know where to find me. Or Spock, for that matter. Tell me, have you ever given much thought about your future career?'

'I don't want command, if that's what you're asking.'

'If you ever change your mind, you'll need to work very hard on it. Simply because language is a big thing there. You can express yourself perfectly in your field, but you may find it difficult to adapt. To simplify, like I did.'

'I can't do it. How do you know that?' Leonard tapped the computer.

'Because when you came aboard, you were subjected to a number of tests. Everyone has to go through that, physicals and a thorough and complex psychological profile. To find out if someone can stand the pressure on a star ship and if they have the brains for it. You, my friend, have passed them all with flying colours, with a few recommendations what you might consider not doing because you're a bit disadvantaged there and might struggle. You know what my profile said?'

'Do I want to know?'

'I think so. It said I would cave after less than a year. I'm still here. Think about it.'

'I will. Thank you, Leonard.' He stood, and Leonard mirrored him.

'To make this clear. You're lucky. Your mind's working as well as you can ask for. Maybe you learned a few things a bit more slowly, I wouldn't know. But you've arrived at a point where you're a valuable asset to this ship. Your symptoms were mainly physical, and those that were potentially problematic have been rectified. And you're a genius with all that technical stuff.'

'I started talking really late.'

'Figures. Charika … forget this. It's of no consequence. Got that?'

'Got it.' He grinned. 'I'm not stupid, after all.' Leonard reached over the table and shook Charika's hand.

'One more thing. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find T'Kray or me. You don't have to deal with everything on your own. Now go before Blanik strangles me.'

((So, Charika. I've brought him from Air, where I said what he had but only as an educated guess from T'Kray. Since I'll probably need the man later, I thought I'd add a bit of information. If you want to know about Matee or what McCoy (inaccurately) calls a teleporter, you'll have to look there or in Water.

Kids with complete T8 don't usually survive. Mosaicism means that, as was said, not all cells are affected, increasing the chances for survival. The same thing makes the symptoms extremely diverse and a lot less severe. Some cases are only diagnosed because of a secondary affliction associated with T8mS at some point in adult life.

And replicators … yeah, that's not a TOS term. But this is later than TOS, so it's intentional.))