Chapter 57 My Dinner with Kelemvor

Usual disclaimers: Most of the characters in this chapter are owned by a good many other people and not me, except a paladin and bear-loving ranger and her best friend.

Note: I looked at various sites such as Candlekeep dot com and Wizards dot com's boards, trying to get an understanding of the afterlife and the Wall of the Faithless in the Forgotten Realms setting. But there didn't seem to be a consensus, so I winged it. If anyone has a definitive reference, feel free to point the way through a PM.

Kelemvor, the god of the dead. Here in his realm, his power and majesty were palpable, even though this was only one of his avatars, and she did not stand in the full presence of the god himself. It was hard for her to believe that not too long ago, he had been a mortal man. There was nothing to do but prostrate herself before him, though of her companions, only Okku and Cillian followed her lead.

A calm, gentle voice called to her. "Dierdre Farlong, rise. You have finally accomplished what none of the many who came before you could not."

"But not without a price for our fair leader." There was an accusatory tone to Gann's voice.

"Yes, with a price. Such great evil as Myrkul created cannot not be undone without sacrifice, hagspawn. You should know that." Okku was equally accusatory.

Dee stumbled as she got to her feet, not daring to look upon his face, even though it was completely hidden behind an ornate silver death mask. Her legs felt liquid, as if they would not bear her weight. She asked hoarsely, "Then the curse is truly finished?" Okku and Cillian got up and moved closer to her for support. Gann and Safiya glanced at one another then quickly away, both of them trying not to acknowledge the presence of this god, which would force them to acknowledge all the gods.

Kelemvor's voice was surprisingly soft, and it caused Dee to ask herself as she listened what she had expected. Something gruff, like Ammon Jerro's? "It is truly over. You did what I and the other gods could not, though it pained me to hear your complaining about my lack of assistance while you fought the invaders in my Gray City. I'm sorry, but I could not directly help you."

Dee flushed in shame and looked at the ground. "Forgive me."

Okku's deep, rumbling voice explained why to Dee and the others. "Kelemvor knew Myrkul's curse was unjust, little one. But I think that if he had undone it himself, he would have called down the wrath of all the other gods on not only on himself, but also on the mortal realm for overturning another god's judgment."

Dee nodded at Okku, still trying to find the strength to stand. "A challenge to one is a challenge to the authority of all the gods. That's what kept me from joining Kaelyn's crusade. I got that, but I couldn't convince her."

"Yes, no matter how unjust I felt Myrkul's curse was, I was forbidden from overturning his decree against Akachi. Come, let us return to Eternity's End where you can sit down as we talk." Kelemvor offered her a gray velvet gloved hand, which she took without hesitation. Okku and Cillian were hard behind her. She didn't bother to look to see if Safiya and Gann were following, but she hoped they were making note of where they were and all that had happened. In no time at all, they were standing before the great temple. The massive door opened from a mere gesture, and he led them down corridors until they reached a small audience chamber.

The room was done in shades of gray and black, like so much of his city. A large gleaming round table was the main feature, which looked like it was cut from a solid piece of onyx, with a massive set of silver scales suspended by a skeletal arm decorating the table, not etched into the stone but seemingly floating just under the onyx surface. High backed chairs upholstered in gray were arranged around the table, and at the far end was a chair that looked more like a throne, decorated with skulls. Dee wanted to ask if living with all the grayness and death imagery was depressing, but that seemed overly familiar as she remembered her place.

A woman clad in a long pigeon gray robe slipped silently out of a door that Dee hadn't noticed, carrying a tray of crystal goblets filled with a ruby liquid. She gave a goblet to each of them, even Okku and Cillian, and bowed. Kelemvor gestured at them. "Please, drink this. I have not been a god for so long that I have forgotten how to be a host. You will find it quite refreshing after your trials."

He was right. Dee took a sip of the sweet wine, and a feeling of warmth and wellbeing sped through her body. It was more potent than any healing potion she had ever drunk, more like drinking life. They all drank deeply. Even Okku hooked a claw around the delicate goblet, raised it to his maw, and drank, though Cillian was content to lap the wine from the goblet. In a matter of heartbeats Dee no longer felt like it was all she could do to remain standing upright, and as she looked around at her companions, she saw that they were similarly restored.

Kelemvor stood beside the throne and offered his hand to Dee again. "Come, sit here."

A chair slid out noiselessly across the slate floor. She sat down and then blinked after what seemed like only a heartbeat later as she realized that all of her companions, other than Cillian, were gone. The bear nuzzled her as she looked around in confusion. She was about to ask what happened to them, but Kelemvor anticipated her question. "What I have to say is for your ears alone, and so once they were refreshed, they were escorted by my servants out to wait for you. Not many mortals are afforded such an audience. Do not be afraid. Now where were we?"

She gazed at Kelemvor. "Thank you, I am honored." She closed her eyes and leaned forward with her forehead on the table, guessing the reason that he wanted to speak with her alone. "And I am ready to fulfill my part of our bargain. I only ask that I be allowed to wait in your gray city until my husband's time comes. That is, if that won't make me false to Meilikki." She waited for death to come, wondering if it would be as simple as his removing a glove and touching her. She hoped it would be quick.

"Did we have a bargain?" There was a note of confusion in his voice.

She raised her head slightly. "The one where I offered my life if my companions were spared death? I'm ready." She gasped and sat up then asked in alarm, "Unless they're already dead...unless it was their time?"

"Only one of those who accompanied you to the Illefarn ruin has come before me, but you know that. You said a prayer over her that I would forgive her. There was no need, for her god Kossuth gladly claimed her as soon as she arrived." He was silent for a maddening few moments before he continued. "As far as any bargain between us, by its very nature, a bargain is dependent upon an agreement between two or more parties, is it not? You may have made an offer to me, but I would have to have accepted it for a contract, pact, or bargain between us to have been formed, correct? And I did not."

She flushed in embarrassment and shame because of how presumptuous she had been, and she told him so as she begged his forgiveness again. "I only thought if I could spare any of them, I would. I didn't expect to survive the battle in the Mere."

"And yet here you are." His voice had been so measured, but she thought now she detected a hint of amusement. "As I was saying, even the gods are bound by laws. This is one of the most frustrating parts of being a god, having this power and wanting to respond to the prayers of our faithful, but being unable to do so. I was accused by Cyric before great Ao and the council of the gods of failing to relinquish my humanity in my dealing with the dead. As a consequence, I have made changes in my realm and now monitor my actions to ensure I maintain a balance, so that I don't give him another opportunity. I imagine it was equally frustrating for Meilikki, or Tyr, whom you call upon almost as much as you do her. But we helped when we could indirectly, by helping your companions. Many of the gods, good, neutral, and even evil, were watching your struggle. We knew if a mere mortal could end the curse, it would show there had always been a way for Akachi himself to end his suffering. And you found it."

She was wishing she had more of the ruby wine, and with a start, her goblet had been refilled. She drank it down before she replied. " It wasn't me. I turned Myrkul's own power on him. I think Akachi must have showed me how to twist the curse, though in truth there was little of him left. But he had centuries to use what remained of his mind to puzzle out the curse and the way to end it. Then with the help of his brother and his lover, I was able to awaken him just long enough so he stopped trying to destroy me. And now he's back in the Wall."

He nodded. "Indeed, but not for much longer. As you said, there isn't much of his soul left."

"Yes, he's gone now." She closed her eyes, keeping one hand on Cillian to ground herself. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. "And what now, if we don't have a bargain?" Dee's question sounded blunter than she had intended, and she flinched at the shrillness in her voice.

He responded softly, "As you suggested to Araman not so long ago, go now and live what is left of your life. As a mortal you cannot remain here for long, but my realm is at the nexus of all planes, and you will find many portals here that will take you anywhere you choose. Some can even take you to the worlds parallel to Aber-Toril or to any of the planes. Feel free to make use of them, and when death comes to you, I welcome you to spend at least part of your afterlife guarding my realm. But I can see by your face you have questions you wish to ask me before you go." The god steepled his index fingers under his chin in a way that oddly reminded her of Sand.

Dee wanted nothing more than to run out and find the first portal that would take her home, but he was right, she had too many burning questions, and she might never get another opportunity to have them answered. "May I ask about someone?"

He didn't wait for her to ask the question, as if he knew what she was going to ask before she formed the words. "Yes, what you saw at the Wall of the Faithless was real, though you were only here in your astral form that time. Your companion you encountered in the Wall is gone. He did not struggle with his fate like most do, and so the Wall has consumed him much faster than most."

She gasped then covered her mouth, not from his words, but because she was certain he was wrong. Her reason argued that was merely wishful thinking. And why should she care after what he did, another part of her argued. She looked down at the scales in the table and murmured after a few moments, "Bish chose his fate." Yet she was certain Kelemvor was wrong. He was a god, but she knew the gods weren't omniscient, except Ao, and the scholars weren't even certain about that.

Could it be she still bore the sliver of Myrkul's power that came to her in the Wall, and that let her see what Kelemvor could not? And what did that mean for her? She pressed him. "But did he deserve his fate? Bishop—something must have happened to him when he was young to destroy his faith, and his training in Luskan didn't help either. Is it fair for him to be held accountable for that? Or for anyone to be held accountable? And what about someone who spends his life in the wilds and never learns of the gods? Is it fair for him to be held faithless too?"

Kelemvor answered impassively, "It was still Bishop's choice. He had many examples around him during his life of priests who weren't corrupt, and people whose faith was real, such as you and your paladin."

She fought back tears as she thought about him. "He was always happiest when he was out hunting in the wild, or simply being out of doors. Would that I could argue for his sake that he wasn't faithless, and that he worshiped Nature itself. Or the hunt. He never gave up when he was on the trail of game, even if he had to track it for days. And the way he hunted Luskans...he was as dutiful in that as any of the Malarites I've come across in Rashemen and Thay."

He steepled his fingers again as he listened, then was silent for a moment before he replied. "I cannot answer for Malar, who is wild and chaotic and does what he will, even with his departed followers. But it is still up to the gods to claim the souls of their faithful. And if a god either does not claim or rejects someone, I have no choice but to judge him or her false or faithless. More to your point, however, might I remind you there is a deity of Nature; several, in fact. And did you and your companion not travel with a druid of Silvanus, chief of the gods of nature? He had ample opportunity to observe true faith through her."

The woman in gray reappeared with bowls of fruit, bread, and something which must pass as meat, which she set before her. Dee felt chastened by his gentle rebuke, yet she couldn't let it go. "You're saying you can't help it if the gods are lax in claiming their own. But it's not fair to us mortals. If the gods are bound by law not to ignore their followers, shouldn't it be a law that they must come daily and retrieve their dead or formally declare why they've rejected one? Don't they owe that to the mortals who give them their power?"

She was on a roll, so she took a breath so her voice wouldn't sound so strident before she continued. "And I say that false priests who destroy faith are equally at fault, and their gods should deal with them accordingly. Why should someone end up in the Wall because of that? Forgive me, but that's what I believe." She took an apple from the bowl and handed it to Cillian, and toyed with another nervously waiting for Kelemvor either to reply or to strike her down.

His voice reflected infinite patience. "Some of what you say is true, but I have no authority over the other gods or their priests, only the mortals who come before me. If their gods are lax as you say, or if their priests are lazy or corrupt, there is nothing I can do about it. I can only answer for my own priesthood. The other gods deal with their own."

She wrapped her arms around herself to stop herself from trembling. "They need an advocate to take their side if they insist they haven't been faithless or false. Ao then? Forgive me, but if he makes the laws, shouldn't he enforce them too, or amend them as need be when the gods have found a way around them?"

Was it a breeze as the woman came through the door again and set another dish before her, or did she detect a sigh as he answered? "I cannot answer for Lord Ao. He is not overly concerned about what we gods do as long as we uphold our portfolios and do not completely ignore our worshipers. In truth, he would rather be forgotten by mortals, and that is why he acknowledges no worshipers of his own. The best way I can explain it is to say that he is like a clockmaker who winds the clock he has created then pays it no mind, as long as it works as it should. The last time he got involved in the affairs of the gods and men, well, you know how that turned out."

She nodded sadly in agreement. Toril surely didn't need another Time of Troubles. There was another question that weighed heavy on her mind, but she couldn't bring herself to ask it, and he for once didn't anticipate her. He sat across from her in the same position, and she understood the reason for the death mask besides reinforcing the death imagery. Those who came before him would be unable to read any emotion on his face. After a maddening moment during which she nervously ate something...she couldn't remember what...as she waited for him to say something, she lost her nerve and thought of something else. "Kaelyn the Dove. What has become of her? Did you judge her false?"

He shook his head. "Do not fear for her. Though she was indeed false to me, Illmater had accepted her as his priest and has already claimed her. Even for priests, changing gods is akin to changing jobs in the mortal realm. As long as they are faithful to the new god, the prior god has nothing to say about them. Mind you, that doesn't mean that some gods won't seek revenge as a jilted lover might. And I am personally dealing with Kaelyn's grandfather and her siblings as we speak, but I cannot say if they will blame you for her death."

She wiped away a few frustrated tears again and felt like she might never know the feeling of a light heart. "And pursue me for revenge, you mean? But I did everything I could think of to convince her she was wrong." They sat in silence for a few minutes. She stroked Cillian's head as he licked her hand and helped himself to whatever she had been holding in it.

"Indeed, you did." There was a tone of finality to his statement, as if that was the end of the discussion.

Yet he made no move to end their audience, and she began to wonder if he was waiting for her to take her leave. But she sat there looking at his mask, and after a few more maddening minutes of silence, she asked softly, "There was a woman in my village who helped raise me. She was killed along with many in West Harbor. What I want to know is where did she...I mean...she told me about something she had done..." She put her face in her hands. "Her name is...was Rhetta Starling." She couldn't bear to look at him as she waited for his reply.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when his soft voice broke the silence a few moments later. "Yes, Rhetta Starling, one of the many victims of the Shadow King. She was claimed by Chauntea along with two of her children and many others from West Harbor, once they were freed from his dark influence. Lathander claimed most of the rest of the villagers. Have no fear, the Shadow King had no power to destroy their souls. Once they were freed from their unwilling servitude as his shadows, they passed on. But I do not judge people's lives. I merely examine them as I said, to determine their standing with their gods. It is then up to their gods to declare them false to me because of their actions, or to accept them then deal with them when they reach their own realm."

He paused for a moment before continuing as if reviewing something. "And there is more regarding the terrible knowledge she shared with you, that you vowed to keep for her until you came into my presence. I can tell you, now that you are here, that the unfortunate woman suffered shame and guilt for years that ruined her health, for a crime she did not commit. You see, she did not kill her husband in self-defense as she believed. The truth is, her son Lorne discovered that his father was badly injured but still breathing as he was about to push him into the grave he had just dug for him, and so he finished him by striking him across his neck with the shovel. His first murder, as it were. If she had looked in the grave, she would have seen that, but he told her not to look. You haven't asked me about Lorne Starling, but he was claimed by Loviatar."

She was shaking. It took all her strength to whisper, "Thank you." It took all of her strength not to faint. Cillian paused from where he stood with his forelegs on the table devouring the remaining food, to give her a comforting nuzzle.

"Now if that answers all your questions...but no, I don't sense you are finished." That tone of infinite patience was back, and she wondered how long it would last.

She still hadn't worked up the nerve. "What will become of the Founder when she finally dies? The way I see it, she has great and enduring faith in the power of love, so much so that nothing else mattered." But the Founder wasn't Dee's real concern. Safiya was.

"I think what you are asking is what will happen when she dies and her soul rejoins that of the Red Wizard who accompanied you? I honestly cannot tell you Safiya's fate until her time comes. If the goddess of love accepts her, I would allow it. But if not...who's to say what affect this experience will have on her? Frankly, if she remains faithless after seeing indisputable proof of the existence of the gods, and knowing what will become of her if she remains in that state, she would have to be mad."

She accepted that. "And what about Gann? I could see him becoming a telthor when he dies. And though by your standards he's faithless, is he? Some power nevertheless grants his spells." She thought she was crossing the line, but she had grown surprisingly fond of the hagspawn over the past few months and couldn't bear the thought of him being cast into the Wall.

Kelemvor leaned back in his throne. "Telthors are similar to ghosts. The difference is that most of the time ghosts don't realize that they're died and fail leave the Prime to make their way here, or they remain behind seeking revenge, while telthors are quite conscious that they've passed beyond the mortal realm. Rashemen is different in that the souls of the living beings there, men and beasts, are strongly bound to the land, and they often do not pass on, but choose to stay as guardians." He sat forward so that he was sitting close to her again. "I sense that there is something else you are avoiding asking. Please, don't be afraid."

She swallowed hard. There was no more putting it off. "Very well. What happens to those who die too young to choose a god? Surely they aren't condemned to go to the Wall? How could that be just?"

He placed a gloved hand over hers and squeezed it softly. "First of all, I can assure you that a soul isn't bound to a baby until birth, when it is released from the plane of positive energy and begins life. And if a child is too young to have found faith when death comes, the soul returns there and waits to be reborn. It's cold comfort, but the child you lost didn't go to the Wall as it didn't yet have a soul, and some day that soul that would have joined with it will have another chance at life. But even if these innocent souls were consigned to the Wall, they would be absorbed in mere heartbeats."

A few sobs escaped her, but she managed to control herself enough to murmur, "Thank you." She reached over and stroked Cillian's back, who had finished everything on the table and dropped back beside her. "But even for a heartbeat, would it feel pain? So many of those I heard there were screaming in pain and terror. Surely there's a better way to deal with the faithless? I know you give care to those sentenced to the Wall, unlike those who came before you, but I was wrongly cast into the Wall. If I was there, could there be others? Even one would be too many."

He stroked the chin of his mask thoughtfully. "True, but remember you were there only because you took Akachi's place through Myrkul's curse. It wasn't as if you came before me. I thought as you did once. When I first ascended, I vowed to bring down the Wall. But I think you are wise enough to understand that the other gods opposed my plan though many of them also hated it, and why."

She nodded. "Because without the Wall, mortals would not fear death, and many would turn from the gods. And I've heard that the gods depend on the prayers of their followers for their power and status. So if they lose worshipers, they lose power, and they can even die."

He moved closer, and spoke just above a whisper. "That's part of it. But there is more, Dierdre. I can tell you truthfully that if mortals turned from the gods, many of the them, even the good and just gods, would turn on them in righteous anger and destroy them utterly. Thus the Wall is a necessary evil that protects mortals from themselves."

She felt exhausted again, and she wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a chill that cut through her. She feared no amount of his elixir would restore her. She asked grimly, "I have one more question before I go. It's about the fraction of Myrkul's power I gained from Akachi's curse. What happens now? How do you take it from me?"

He leaned closer again, as if he was peering into her eyes, or perhaps her soul, through the mask. "Interesting. Yes, it is just a minuscule spark, just enough to have revived Myrkul so he could take you over if you had believed his lie and tried to devour him. However, I am unable to remove it from you while you live, and it's not your time to stand before me." He gave her a humanlike shrug. "We will deal with that problem when your time comes. For now, as I said, try to live your life. I can't promise you that it won't have some effect on you, however."

She stood and bowed. "Thank you for all that you've done. I would be honored to serve you guarding your realm, or using this power to serve as an advocate for the souls waiting to come before you."

"An advocate. Interesting. We shall see." He stood as well. "Before you go, I would like to show you something as my small way of thanking you." He led her to another room, empty except for a large crystal sphere filled with light. "Milhil has granted us permission to observe his realm." He stood before it and waved his hand, and in a heartbeat she could hear music, the most hearbreakingly beautiful music she knew she would ever hear. It was almost too much to bear. The light in the sphere faded to reveal a vast choir. He waved his hand again slightly, and the image shifted, zooming in on the choir until it focused on a radiant woman with pale blond hair, whose sweet soprano voice now stood out from the rest.

Dee gasped as she recognized her. "That's my mother!" She watched the image until it faded from view, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Kelemvor said gently, "Come now, your companions are waiting for you."

Before she knew it, they stood before another door. It opened, revealing her companions seated around a table, who all jumped up as she and Cillian walked in. She looked back, but Kelemvor was gone. But she sensed he was still watching her, and Cillian chuffed at the air, as if he could see him. She dried her eyes as Safiya put her arms around her and told her how concerned they had been, and Okku crowded in next to Cillian to welcome her back too.

Gann stood back, but he was the first to speak of their next step. "What now, fair leader? Shall we leave this dismal place and get you back into the loving arms of your paladin?"

Dee broke away from Safiya. "Yes, it's just a matter of finding the right portal, and one of Kelemvor's priests is looking for one now. I'm sure that if you want, you can use the portal that will take you back to the Founder's chambers, Safiya. If that's what you want, that is. Gann, Okku, we'll find one that leads back to Rashemen somewhere outside Mulsantir, if that's what you want."

Gann chided her teasingly. "Ready to be rid of us so quickly? You wound this poor hagspawn. I was hoping to travel with you and perhaps see this Neverwinter you've talked so much about. Leaving you now would be like leaving the theater before the final act has concluded."

Safiya gave her another hug. "I would like to travel with you as well to get you safely home and see the City of Skilled Hands. I've never traveled outside of Thay. Perhaps...I can even show your wizard Sand how to use my spare shaper's alembic." It was a measure of how deep her friendship with Dee had become that she would even consider sharing Thayan magic. In addition, now that Safiya had gotten a taste of life outside the halls of her academy, she felt reluctant to go straight back, though she told herself she would eventually return to take her mother's place as headmistress.

Dee smiled at the bear god, his bright fur colorful against the gray background. "What about you, Okku? Autumn is more than half over, and I understand if you want to return to your sleep."

Okku chuffed. "I would walk with you for awhile yet, little one. When my little brother seeks out his den for the winter, then I may leave."

She gave him a hug, easy to do since he stood as high as her shoulder. "Thank you, my friends. Let's go." Yet even as she turned to lead them out the door to find the priest, she had a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach as strong as a punch as she thought about returning home.

There were several portals that led directly to Neverwinter, but so far none that she wanted to use. It was tempting to use the one that led to the song portal in the ruins of Arvhan since she knew the way back from there. But that would mean nearly another tenday of travel. The priest showed her one portal that led to a secret temple of Mask, so that one was out of the question. Another looked like it led to a crypt. "Looks like the Tomb of the Betrayers," she muttered. "We would be locked in until a priest from the Temple of Tyr came to do his rounds." But then the priest showed her one that led to the Cloaktower.

She frowned. "On the one hand, that one's probably safest, but any mage on the other side is likely to cast first and ask questions later."

"We will cast protective spells then. I think it would be wise for me to change out of my Thayan robes, however, so your mages don't think they're being invaded." Safiya pulled a green silk brocade robe out of her magic bag and gestured for Gann to turn around. He replied with a taunting leer and a smirk, but after Okku growled a warning, he turned around (as he had intended after teasing her for a moment) so she could change.

Dee held out the shadow stone and peered into the portal. "I don't see anyone, but I imagine alarms will go off as soon as we step through."

Okku stepped up beside her. "Then I will go first, little one."

"I'm curious to see where this temple of Mask is before we go." Anxious as she was to leave, (but also to to stay), her Harper training took over. She walked over to the portal and held up the shadow stone and peered around. "Doesn't look like a temple, it looks like a meeting room." she muttered.

"No, but then secrecy is the nature of that god," the priest replied helpfully. "More than likely the god's image is hidden, perhaps behind a false panel."

Dee looked again. "Wait, I know this place! I recognize this room. I went in there while I was looking for Ophala after Melia's funeral. This isn't a temple of Mask at all, it's the Moonstone Mask! It's the biggest festhall in Neverwinter."

The priest shrugged dismissively. "Well, there was a shrine to Mask there at one time."

Dee shook her head. But she still intended to mention that to Ophala, just in case. Her anxiety eased slightly knowing she was going to someplace familiar, but only slightly. She looked around at her companions. "Are we ready?" They all gave their assent and lined up behind her, and with Okku taking the lead, they left the gray city behind.