oooh, what a cryptic title. What could it mean? lol It's not too hard to figure out I guess, idk. I really like it either way though. And Blind continues to inspire me. I really need a new song though for real. Well, I hope you enjoy!
Oh, and happy new year! Whoo! Pretty much anyway. lol
There is obvious tension even when the worst is over. Raph in particular causes unnecessary friction which only serves to set Leo off and then inevitably gets Splinter involved. It's a terrible chain reaction that only stops when Mikey begs for a ceasefire. Sometimes not even that is enough, but usually Raph heeds his baby brother's plea and for a while there is respite.
There a better moments too, moments spent solely with Alopex or when Mikey joins them, but these are soon overshadowed. It was stupid of him really, Donnie knows it, but he calls April and tells her that everything is over and that no one will get hurt anymore. What he doesn't tell her though is what should have been the first thing out of his mouth. And he suffers for it.
Only two days after the end of the ordeal, April comes over. She is quick to find her way to them, excitement pulsing fiercely through her. She runs all the way. She drops smoothly down into the sewers and doesn't stop to catch her breath. Only once she is a few feet outside their subway home does she double over.
She breathes heavily in and out, her bright orange hair falling over her face and tickling her skin. She grins and nearly cracks up at it, as silly as it is. After a few minutes she regains her composure and stands straight. She tucks her hair back behind her ears and walks smoothly into the lair. "Guys!" She calls out. "I'm back!"
Donnie leaps up in a heartbeat. He even beats Mikey. He restrains himself, but his gait is much faster paced than usual. As he comes within reach of her he comes to a quick stop. For a moment he doesn't move. He scarcely even breathes. "April…" He smiles tenderly.
April smiles softly back at him. "Donnie…" She takes small, slow steps toward him. It is such a contrast to her movements before and yet this time her world spins ten times faster. "I missed you." She falls into him, clasping her hands around him.
Donnie rests his head on the top of hers and wraps his arm around her, holding tight. He breathes in her familiar scent. "I missed you too." His fingers curl tighter into the small of her back. "You…are ok, right?"
April giggles. "Yeah, I'm fine." She pulls back and looks up at him. "I was in a bit of shock at first," She bites her lip and pulls at the arm of her shirt. "But when Leo called and told me you were alright, I felt much better. And now, with everything back to normal, I feel great."
Donnie stiffens. His eyes widen and he freezes. For the first time he realizes how stupid he was to call her over here. He barely thought about the repercussions of the attack that night. Just because he never lost faith in Alopex and is at peace with her return to normal does not mean everyone else will be, does not mean April is.
April tilts her head. "Donnie?" A frown tugs at her lips and her brows knit together. "What's wrong?"
Donnie shakes his head. "Hey," He smiles, but it lacks the sincerity from before. "How about you go and get some dinner." He half shrugs. "It can be a big meal for your return."
April blinks up at him. Then she snorts and shakes her head. She smiles in amusement as she says, "No, no. I want to see the others." She pushes past him.
"April-!" He reaches after her, but it's no use. A grimace stretches across his face and he holds his breath. Oh God…
"April!" Mikey pops up in front of her suddenly. He grins from ear to ear. "Awesome to see you!" He leaps forward and pulls her into a tight hug.
April laughs. "You too Mikey." She says in a tight voice. "But…it'd be nice if I could breathe."
"Oh." Mikey quickly retracts his arms. He smiles sheepishly at her. "Sorry, April." He chuckles. "It's just been way too long. We have so much catching up to do. In fact-" He cuts himself off as he sees Donnie's frantic movements behind April.
April doesn't even notice. "In a minute Mikey." She peers around the youngest turtle. "I want to see Raph and Leo first." She moves around him, scanning the room. "Then we can all talk." She wanders farther into the room, her gaze finally settling on area by the television. And then she freezes.
Alopex sits back against the couch, her arms splayed out along the top of it. She tried to ignore it – that pungent smell – but it's too much at this point. It's too close and Alopex's senses too sharp. She lifts her gaze and narrows her eyes as they land on the face of the orange haired girl. April.
April's eyes widen and her brows rise high on her head. Fear twists her features and she draws in a sharp breath. Her hands twitch faintly, the automatic reaction to run pulsing powerfully through her. Her breathing grows shallow and heart constricts. It's the same animal as that night. It's that monster.
Donnie rushes forward and places himself between them. "No, it's alright." He takes April's hands. "Don't be afraid. She isn't going to hurt you. I swear." He smiles painfully. "She's better now."
April shifts her eyes to him and stares blankly for a moment. Then slowly her shock transforms. Her eyes narrow and her lips curve downward. "No…NO." She smacks Donnie's hands off of hers. She glowers mercilessly. "What is wrong with you? That thing," She points past him toward Alopex. "It's a monster! It tore you apart that night!"
Donnie flinches under her harsh gaze and words. "No…no, that's not true. I mean, yeah, she did, but," He shakes his head. "No. She's not a monster!" He looks hard but pleadingly at April. "She just needed help. That's not who she is. Really!"
April clenches her hands into fists. "What. So I'm suddenly supposed to just forget what happened? Huh!?" She gets up in his face. "I was scared to death. I cried all night! I bet you didn't know that, did you? And you want me to just forget?"
Donnie ducks his head. He presses his lips tight together. He scrambles to piece together not an argument but any kind of words to tell her in his fragmented mind. But there are none. His heart beats faster and breathing grows erratic as he grows lost in her furious eyes.
Alopex growls deep in her throat. Her lips curl back to reveal her sharp teeth and she glares fiercely at the path of orange over Donnie's shoulder. No way this is sliding. She leaps up and storms over, her fists clenched. "Don't you dare talk to him that way you harpy." She stands tall by Donnie.
April jerks her gaze around. Her heart quivers, but her expression remains set in fury. "Me? You're calling me that when you tore him to pieces?" April's hand shoots to her hip and closes around her tessen. "You cur!"
Alopex tenses. Her ears flatten on her head and she growls loudly. "You dare turn your weapon on me little girl?" A cruel smirk curves her lips. "Or have you forgotten last time? Do you want to end up like Donnie did?" She extends her claws. "Because I won't stop for you."
Donnie's breathing hitches. His heart beats double time. His world spins to a dizzying extent and his knees wobble beneath him. No…No…NO! He opens and closes his mouth around empty words. Stop! Tears well in his eyes. Please…
Mikey throws himself between them. "Whoa! Chill!" He shoves his hands out and pushes them farther apart. He swivels his head and looks back and forth between them. His face creases with sad disbelief. "There's no reason to fight."
April sucks in a soft breath. "You too?" She looks absolutely appalled. "I know you weren't there, but you saw the way Donnie was afterward! Don't be an idiot."
Mikey's face falls further. His brows knit together and a deep frown sets in on his face.
Alopex growls and leans forward in preparation. "Don't call him an idiot! You heartless witch!"
"Monster!" April shoots back.
Alopex doesn't even flinch. "At least I don't play with people's feelings."
April starts. The anger washes away and stunned uncertainty takes its place. "What…?" She tries not to, but her eyes flit to Donnie. Was she talking about him? Did he tell her everything about everyone? How close was he with this monster? "Donnie…"
Donnie snaps out of it and jerks his head around. His eyes are wild as he looks at her. "I…"
April bites her lip and scowls miserably up at him. "You told her about me." It's half a question, but she doesn't need an answer. She already sees it written clearly across his face. She takes a step back, shaking her head slowly. "I can't believe you."
Donnie leaps forward. He snatches her wrist and pulls her closer. "No!" There is a beat of silence. "Don't go…" His lip trembles faintly. "I just…I want everyone to get along."
April struggles in his hold. She grunts and groans as she pulls with all she's worth. "No! Let me go!" It's wrong, she knows it, but she acts without thinking. All that matters is it will set her free. "Raph!"
Donnie gasps. Terror twists his face. No. Why'd she do that? Why? "April, please. Just listen to me. Just talk to her for a little while. You'll see-"
In the next instant Donnie hears Raph's raging footsteps. His brother storms over and twists Donnie's hand off of April. "Lay off." He says low and threatening. "She doesn't want to hear your shit." He takes a single step back and April does the same.
Raph lays an arm around her shoulder then and grips her firmly. He pulls her gently close, their bodies touching. He glares heatedly at Donnie. "So go play with your new toy."
April does not resist. She leans heavily against him, scowling over at Donnie. She crosses her arms over her chest and nods once with unsettling firmness. "I won't do it."
Donnie stares with his mouth agape. He lifts his hand slowly, reaching uselessly toward her. "April…" His hand shakes terribly before him as he grabs for something that is once again lost to him. Again…just like when we mutated her dad. No, I did.
Mikey's lip sticks out and tears well in his eyes. "She's not bad…" He says weakly, his voice wavering. "Why won't you believe us? Why won't you even try?"
Raph and April cringe as the youngest pleads with them. They barely contain a grimace and their eyes surely tell of their guilt.
Alopex scoffs. "She's just proving my point." She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes. "She's not worth the tears he cries over you, you witch."
Fury surges through Raph. "Shut up!" He snarls. His grip tightens on April and he jerks his sai up to point threateningly at Alopex. "You don't get to say anything! You-"
"You shut up Raph!" Donnie snaps. "You-"
"That's enough!" Leo interjects. He glares fiercely at Raph as he strides over. "Stop your petty fighting. It's doing no one any good. Just look," He waves his hand in Donnie and Mikey's direction. "You're upsetting both your younger brothers."
Mikey lowers his head. He tries not to look sad, but he knows it's for naught. He's cracking at the edges and it's spreading to the center, to the part everyone can see.
"Do you want that?" Leo challenges, placing himself between the two groups. "Do you really want to hurt your own family?" He does not defend Alopex in particular though. Doing that will only set Raph off worse and Leo still isn't sure he believes in the animal either.
Raph averts his eyes. He presses his lips together and scowls to the side. There's no point in saying. Leo already knows the answer. And it would only make him look like the bad guy, as if he isn't already.
April looks hard at Leo. She is thankful to find no trace of loyalty to the devil by Donnie's side, still it does not sit well with her that all Leo's frustrations are turned toward Raph. Why not chastise Donnie too? In the end she lets out a heavy breath and tugs on Raph's hand. "Come on, Raph." She pulls out of his hold and takes a few steps to test him. "Let's go."
Raph hesitates. He locks gazes with Leo and hates himself as he seriously silently asks for permission. So instead of waiting for an answer, he turns away from his brothers. He scoffs softly, reaching out toward April as he follows her.
April reaches back and meets him halfway. She takes his hand in hers and leads him on as they disappear around the corner and leave the lair and this horrible situation behind.
As Donnie watches her leave he finally crumbles. He shoves his face in his hands and sobs choke out. Tears run down his face and he flashes back to that moment after Alopex attacked him. He broke then too. His body shakes fiercely.
Alopex grinds her teeth vindictively and glowers after the girl and red turtle, but when she touches Donnie it is gentle. She moves closer and slides her arm around his far shoulder. She pulls him close and nuzzles his face. She doesn't say a word though. She lets him cry it out. Besides, anything she could say would only be a cheap rehash. He knows her thoughts.
Leo turns his burning eyes on them next. "What. Happened." He zones in on Alopex in particular. He only caught the tail end of the fight.
Alopex lifts her head away from Donnie and the fire returns to her eyes. "That girl, April, she threw a fit over me being here. And she wouldn't listen to Donnie. Not even for one second." Her blood boils as she recalls it all. "And she had the gall to call the red one over to 'save' her or whatever." Pathetic. A real woman fights her own battles.
Leo looks hard at her. He doesn't know how much he can trust her. Donnie does unconditionally, but Leo did the same for Karai once and in the end that meant nothing for her loyalties. So he looks to Mikey next. He cringes as he lays eyes on his baby brother, but he can not be held back by his emotions. "Mikey?"
Mikey slowly lifts his gaze. He wipes at his eyes and for once no trace of a smile is evident. He nods stiffly. "She wouldn't listen…" He whispers. "Not to anyone. And Raph, he…he made it worse."
Leo sighs. He hangs his head. It's too late to do anything about Raph now. He and April are long gone now. And who knows where? But he doubts that he'll say anything at all if he waits for his brother's return. He just doesn't have it in him. His emotions are so mixed up. He doesn't want to risk making an enemy of his own kin.
Alopex sees the truth in the blue one's eyes, but she asks anyway. "So are you going to go after them?" Her brows furrow and she holds a little tighter to Donnie.
Leo frowns deeply and averts his eyes. He saw her gold orbs probing his blue ones. He'll have none of that. "They'll come back on their own eventually." He mutters.
Alopex snorts. "Obviously. But what good does that do? It'll just start all over again." Her lips turn up, but it is a pained and knowing smile. "But you knew that already."
Leo makes grumbling sounds beneath his breath, but he does not answer her. He addresses the three as a group. "Come on," He walks away from the scene of the crime. "It's time to start dinner." If Mikey is even up to cooking.
Mikey walks with his head down. He stops just a few steps later though, turning his head over toward Alopex. Lines crease his face and a veil of tears covers his eyes. He changes directions and brings himself to her. He wraps his hands around her arm and presses his face into the wrappings there.
Alopex starts, but she does not pull back. She sighs softly and smiles painfully. She hates what she has done here. She's ruined everything for everyone. Maybe she really should just leave. Donnie might be upset, but he would at least have everyone else to comfort him. As it is now he only has her and Mikey.
She thinks she might leave soon. But she can't tell Donnie that, not now. He's in enough pieces as it is. She gently pets his shoulder. "Come on," She says softly, right by his ear. "You'll feel better when you eat." She directs the three of them toward the kitchen.
Neither resist. Donnie however is not at all present in the moment. He is lost in torturous thoughts that float off to where April resides. He imagines going after her and bringing her back, imagines Raph poisoning her mind further, and it breaks his heart further to realize the latter is the only one that is likely to happen. He doesn't have it in him to stand alone. And he hates himself for it.
...
A mile or so away, at an abandoned swing set, April and Raph sit in silence. April grips the chains of the swing and sways gently back and forth. The tips of her shoes make an impression in the dirt and she focuses on it. She envisions it as the wolf creature beneath her and squishing it, but when she does she also sees Donnie's broken face and she shies away from the notion, lifting her feet off the ground.
Raph stares solemnly into the distance. He is a bit perturbed by being out here in the open like this, but at the same time he can't be bothered to do anything about it. He just sits next to her, looping his fingers through the too large holes in the chains.
April pulls her feet up into the seat, balancing precariously there. Her brows knit together and a deep frown settles on her face. "I was horrible." It is the first thing either of them has said since they left the lair.
Raph perks. He tilts his head lazily and looks intently at her.
April sighs softly and rests her chin on her knees. "I shouldn't have acted like that. I should have at least listened." Her fingers curl tighter around the chains and her eyes narrow. "Why didn't I listen?"
Raph frowns. His eyes swim with sympathy. "You didn't do anything wrong." He says it strong, but guilt eats away at him for his dishonesty. They all did something wrong. "Donnie's acting crazy. He shouldn't care at all about that animal, let alone that much."
April lets out a heavy breath. "Who're we to say that?" She mumbles. "We don't know what he's done with her. We don't know anything. We're just being selfish and closed minded."
Raph snorts and scowls away from her. "She still attacked people. Nothing is going to change that. She attacked you." Furious passion lights in his eyes as he looks at her again. "Can you really just let that go?" He rests a hand on her shoulder. "Because I can't."
April lifts her head and turns it slowly toward him. Her brows furrow and her eyes shine with sadness. "Raph…" She finds it in her to smile. "Thank you." She shakes her head. "But you don't need to get worked up on my account. Things…they're bad enough without it."
Raph sighs. He shakes his head and retracts his hand.
"But…" April grimaces. "I don't think I'll be going back for a while." This grabs Raph's attention and he zones in on her, his eyes wide. "I…I have to think about this. I can't just go back…not right now." She offers a tiny, broken smile. "Ok?"
Raph searches her face, but he quickly gives up. He lowers his eyes and smiles reluctantly. "Yeah, alright. I definitely can't blame you." A fire lights in his eyes as his thoughts fall on the mutt. "If I could, I'd follow you."
April shakes her head slowly. "I wouldn't let you." She lets her feet back on the ground for traction and lays a hand on his shoulder. "You need to settle this. You're brothers – family. You're different than me." She pushes herself up off the swing and walks slowly away.
Raph makes a face and shakes his head. "What if I can't?" He grumbles to himself. He pushes up off the swing and follows after her. "At least let me walk you home." Anything to stay away from the mess at home. Maybe he'll even get to see Casey by following her. It's been too long.
April reads him perfectly, but she does not deny him this. "Thank you." She whispers. She smiles over at him. "You make me feel safe."
Raph smiles in return. He barely hides a cringe. She would probably say it to all of them, but it hurts to know that normally Donnie would be the one out here. Only now…he isn't. "I'll always be here for you." He nods to her. "We all will."
April nods knowingly. "I know." If only Donnie were here now. Then she wouldn't have this awful pit in her stomach, then she would mean it when she smiles, and everything would be right.
Orange and Gold (or when April is a bitch). Nah, jk. I love April. it just seemed logical to make her react so badly. If she sounded like a bitch I can't say I didn't mean for it to be that way, but hopefully nobody hates her for it. Plus RaphxApril teasing because I can. It was more brother-sisterly, but it can be looked at as shippy too if you want.
Oh, and in case you didn't get it, orange is April because of her hair and Alopex is gold because of her eyes. I almost titled it 'Blue and Gold' so it would be both their eye colors, but orange seemed like a stronger color to match to gold. Blue felt calmer and almost submissive. So I went with her hair color instead. Please review!