Well, this is it. The end of the ride. It's been a fun one and I can only hope you have enjoyed it as much as me. Read on dear readers and have a little bit of closure. Enjoy!
Weeks pass. Leo wakes and his injuries heal slowly but surely. He still has an arm in a sling and he can't say anything is normal at this point, but it's better. He can't even really complain about all the attention he continues to get from his brothers. They shower him with affection unlike anything he has ever experienced. Even now the three of them are gathered around Leo on the couch. Their attention is much more subtle but the very fact they are all here by him at such a late time is enough to tell him they are still very much on edge. And that's alright. Because he is too.
Donnie is the most distant, something not quite right with him, something not unlike Leo. It must be Alopex. Leo scowls at the very thought of her. Yet despite the bitter betrayal he knows it must be ten times worse for his intelligent brother. He was closest to her after all. And honestly she's probably dead too. Donnie can't rightly hate her like that – dying helping them.
They don't talk about it though, don't talk about her. They act as if it never happened, as if she never happened. It's easier that way. Any time Donnie breaks down they soothe him but they never, ever use her name or mention any event by name. If she disappears from their words then perhaps soon she'll vanish from their thoughts, even Donnie's. It's all they can hope for at least.
"Hey," Mikey bounces in place. His eyes shine. "How 'bout we watch some Space Heroes?"
Leo chuckles. "Mikey, you don't even like that show. And besides, we've watched all the episodes like three times by now." He grins. "And I'd rather not have Raph's head explode."
Raph mocks laughter. "You're hilarious fearless." He jabs his elbow into Leo's arm.
Leo gasps and hisses. He frowns and ducks his head, shame filtering into his eyes.
Raph jerks back. "S-Sorry." He presses his hands and arms flush against his chest.
Leo shakes his head. "It's nothing." He rubs at his arm. "It's just…stupid." He blows out a breath and scowls at his injury. He should have never let it happen in the first place.
"Oh come off it." Raph scolds. "You know it isn't your fault." He looks hard at Leo. "It-" He presses his lips hard together and stops any other words he might have said.
Donnie shudders. He isn't stupid. He knows what Raph was going to say – the only thing he could have said. There are times when he wants to yell at them to say it, just say it already. But now is not one of those times. He lowers his head. He only wants to forget.
"I was careless." Leo mutters. In more ways than one. He makes a point to keep his gaze as far from Donnie as possible. "But it," He shakes his head. "It's nothing. Just…" Just what? Hell if he knows.
Raph opens his mouth to protest further, but a sound catches his attention. All of them hear it. They look up, expecting to see Splinter, back from gathering medical supplies, but it is not so. And for an instant they freeze. Their hearts stop dead and they can't find the air to breath.
Standing across the room is Alopex.
"You." Raph seethes. He and Mikey leap from their spots and rips out their weapons. They place themselves in front of Leo, tense and ready to attack at a moment's notice. "What the hell are you doing here?" His hands tremble fiercely and he hopes it looks like anger that possesses his body rather than shock.
Donnie's mouth falls open. His eyes widen and he struggles to find the words to speak. But there's nothing. He is frozen, lost in the sea of thoughts that assault him. Traitor. Oh my God, she's alive. Scum. I just want to touch her, for her to be real. How dare she come back here? Why wouldn't she come sooner? He can't choose a side. All he can do is stare at her.
Alopex stares blankly at Raph. She blinks at him. "I thought…" She chews on the inside of her mouth. "You'd want to know," She picks at her scarf. "I'm alive."
"Why?" Raph snarls. "So we know we still have the chance to kill you ourselves." His chest heaves. It's all he can do to keep himself cracking.
Alopex is unfazed. "If…that's what you want to do with the information." She looks away from him, to the wall. "I just wanted you to know." She drags her eyes to Donnie, looking deep into his glazed brown eyes.
Leo peers between his two brothers. He eyes her with no lack of contempt. Still, he can't say there is only hate. Deep within him he can feel it – pity. Compared to the last time he saw her she is but a hollow shell. It's almost as if she is on autopilot. Or perhaps that's what guilt looks like – so heavy and unbearable – when it doesn't turn to rancor or agony. Or when there's no one there to ease it.
"Great," Raph sneers. "Then get out."
"Also," She lifts her head, a bit of life lighting her eyes. "That I never meant for this to happen." She touches her shoulder, her fingers curling around it.
Mikey notes her odd movement. His brows furrow. Is that some kind of nervous habit? An unconscious gesture? Or…does it still hurt? After all, she was very nearly dead. Honestly he doesn't know how she is standing before them right now.
"HA." Raph steps forward. "It's too late for that crap. Far too late." His eyes shimmer with tears and he curses himself for his weakness. He should hate he, does hate her. Yet hurt coils in his stomach and he feels sick with how much he hates himself for it. He didn't trust, he swears. He always knew she was scum! So…why? Why does it hurt so much?
"I know." She lets her hand slip from her shoulder. "I just had to say it."
"To absolve yourself?" Raph's lips curl back in disgust. "Nothing will ever fix what you did." He fixes her with the most contemptuous glare.
"I know."
"Hey," Mikey knows he shouldn't, but he just has to know. "How'd you get out anyway?" His brows knit together and a grimace stretches across his face. His stomach drops at the very thought.
Alopex cringes. She licks her lips. Should she? Yes. Full disclosure. "Karai."
Raph chokes on air. "W-What?"
Mikey grabs onto Raph's wrist and holds him there. He gives Raph a sharp look. He knows his brother is an instant from bolting at her.
Raph grinds his teeth. "Why the hell would that witch save you? Unless you sunk even lower," He points a sai at her. "So what'd you trade? Huh? HUH? You sorry excuse for a-"
"Raph!" Leo snaps. "Enough." He pushes past both of his brothers. "Honestly you are being so unbelievably ridiculous right now." He faces them and crosses his arms, his back to her. "Karai probably did help her." He throws an arm in the air. "So what? But she did not do it as blackmail." He looks pointedly at Raph. "If she helped Alopex she did it because they were partners – partners that both got screwed in the same deal."
Donnie stands slowly, mechanically.
Raph doesn't hear half of what Leo says. His eyes widen and his throat constricts. "Leo! Get back here. Don't turn your back on her." He pulls at his brother.
Leo smacks Raph's hand away. "Stop babying me." Leo blows out a heavy breath. "Sheesh. It's been weeks. I'm not going to shatter into a million pieces." He turns to face Alopex nonetheless. "Still," He says carefully. "You shouldn't be here." He shakes his head. "Father will tear you apart if he sees you. And he'll be back soon."
Donnie moves forward. Each step is tentative and with each movement he swears he might crumple, but somehow he makes it. He stays on his trembling legs and walks to her.
All three notice him at the same time. "Donnie!" They reach uselessly after him.
Donnie ignores them, doesn't even hear them through the storm in his mind. All he registers is her. He stops no more than an arm's length in front of her. He looks up – heh, up – he hasn't done that in too long. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but again he can not find the words. All he can do is stare up into her golden orbs.
Alopex smiles. "Hello, Donnie." Her voice is even softer than before.
Donnie only stares. For a long moment there is only silence. Then he finally grasps onto a word, a single word. "Why?"
Alopex bows her head. She casts her eyes downward. "I wanted a place where I belonged, where I felt wanted. And…" She sighs.
Donnie drops his gaze to his feet. "Oh." It's all he can find to say. He never realized Raph's hatred really hurt her so badly. If he had maybe this would have never happened.
"I'm sorry." She lifts a hand and reaches for him.
Donnie steps back. He starts as he realizes what he did. His brows furrow and a frown curves his lips. Has it really become instinct to avoid her touch? Has she carved him out so deeply?
Alopex gasps. For a moment she stands frozen. Then, slowly, she draws her hand back, tight against her chest. With the other she curls her fingers over her shoulder, just like earlier.
Donnie averts his eyes. He twists his fingers.
Alopex reacts automatically. "You're going to twist them off you know."
Donnie puffs out a laugh. "There are worse things."
Alopex cringes. "I know…"
"Thank you…" Donnie breathes. His voice is tight. Tears itch at his eyes.
Alopex perks. "What?" What in the world does he have to be thankful for? She practically ripped his heart out and smashed it between her foot and the pavement.
"For letting us know," He pulls so hard on his finger that he cringes. "That you aren't dead."
Alopex lets out a laugh, but tears creep at the edge of the sound. "It's the least I could do." She'd hate for him to torture himself over what happened to her, especially when she deserved all of it and more. At least let him have peace over not sending her to her death, despite how much he should relish in her demise. He never could…she knows that.
Donnie nods. That's it then. "Goodbye…" He takes another step back. Now though he can't draw his eyes from hers. He can't escape the loss and the broken shards of hope. The loss of all could have beens that included them together.
Alopex's ear fold down. "Goodbye." She looks up and over Donnie's shoulder. Her gaze sweeps over each of the three, all holding their breaths as they wait for Donnie to get far from her. "Mikey," She wait for him to look at her. "Don't ever stop smiling."
Mikey bows his head and looks down. He makes a soft sound of acknowledgement and smiles, but the smile that curves his lips is undeniably sad.
"Leo," She notices him flinch at the very sound of his name on her lips and she hates herself all the more for it. "You may be the protector, but look after yourself sometimes too." A lot of this might have been avoided if only he was less selfless. "And…know I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
Leo scowls to the side. No, just my brother. He blows out a breath. It's no use biting back though. Not when this is the last they'll ever see of each other. More regrets will only hurt worse.
"And Raph," His eyes snap to her and the fear is replaced with a blazing fire. "Don't blame yourself." She shakes her head. "I know you like to, that it feels easier to hate yourself, but don't. Just don't. Ok?"
Raph bites his lip and swallows back his tears. "I hate you." He grinds out, his voice cracking at the edges.
Alopex nods. "Good." Alopex looks back at Donnie. "Donnie," She smiles softly. "Remember – you're stronger than you think."
Donnie smiles fondly, remembering that day so long ago where she uttered the very same words. "And don't be so sorry." He chuckles.
Alopex's smile widens. "Yes," Her expression quiets in the next instant. "And know…" She steps back. Her ear flicks as she picks up a far off sound. Splinter. "That no matter where I am, I'll always love you."
Donnie's heart clenches. His throat is tight. What?
Alopex nods to him. "Goodbye." She pivots and rushes from the lair. She runs into the darkness, into the cold embrace of loneliness, and away from the only place she ever belonged. But as much as it hurts it hurts far less than it would to stay. She can't face them, not again. Even this little glance was far more than she deserved.
Donnie stares after her long after she disappears. Her words echo in his head. I'll always love you. He whines softly. And that's what truly hurts – him feeling exactly the same. Their could have been love will be no more. It never stood a chance.
Splinter returns only a few minutes later. He smiles over at his boys but then quickly realizes that something is terribly wrong. He tilts his head and his brows furrow as he looks from one to the other. They look as if they've seen a ghost, their eyes are so very, very haunted. Raph even looks as if he might cry. It is only as his gaze settles on Donnie that he understands.
Splinter lets out a breath. So she was here. Probably mere minutes before him. She didn't perish. He does not mean to condemn her, but he very much wishes she get her due for all the hell she put his family through. And really, as numb and broken as his boys look right now it was probably for the best she showed up just this once. For Donnie especially. His son is by no means calm now because of her visit, but a heavy weight has no doubt been lifted from him.
For death is permanent. But as long as she lives there is hope. Hope for vindication, for a better tomorrow, and hope that his son might see Alopex again. Whether that is best for him or not.
So what did you think? I hope it made you feel at least a little better after last chapter. No rainbows or butterflies though. But really, how was there ever going to be? On a brighter note though this isn't the end. There isn't a direct continuation that focuses on Alopex, but if you follow along with my Mona Lisa story 'With Love' you might just see her again. ;)
Well, for the final time - review!