Chapter 5

Cap's POV

I released Rena from my grasp so that she would go pick up her room. Standing in the kitchen alone, I remembered that fatal shootout in the outskirts of Stuttgart.

Flashback

We were checking out a lead that lead us to an old farmhouse out in the country. Everything was going well until gunfire exploded onto us. We quickly hid up in a hayloft when they stormed us. Bullets flew everywhere as Nat and I tried to figure out a safe escape. Finally, we found a small opening in the back where we could easily make it out, but it would leave us exposed.

After a couple arguments, we finally decided to go for it. I covered Natasha with my shield, which deflected all of the bullets. After I jumped through the hole, we ran across the clearing full of wheat until we saw a familiar shield quinjet. While we were getting inside, Nat took 2 shots to the shoulder and nearly fell off the ladder. I quickly nabbed her in time and nearly shoved her in there, buckling her into her seat.

But the shooters weren't finished, they threw grenades at the quinjet. The jet was still in one piece, but the force from the explosion caused some turbulence which caused some of the crates to fall on Nat and me. I was alright, just a few minor fractures, but Nat…her shin and ribs were nearly shattered because she couldn't curl in to protect herself. No thanks to me.

We flew at top speed to the hospital back in D.C., guilt riding on my shoulders as I kept begging her to stay with me and to not close her eyes. I saw the blood seeping through and the black bruises beginning to be seen through her red fitted shirt. All this, because of me.

Flashback over

I looked up to see Rena pulling out a spare sheet from my linen closet. I saw her struggling to get to the pillows to the top shelf. I chuckled to myself at the sight of her jumping and trying to balance on her tip-toes. I shook my head and walked over to her side and simply reached and grabbed a normal-size pillow.

She stuck her tongue out at me, "I could've done it by myself."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "You would've hurt yourself if you tried."

"Nu-uh!" she said like a 3 year-old.

"Uh-uh." I mocked, "C'mon, let's get your couch set up."

Rena helped me pull the fitted seat over the couch cushions and positioned the pillows to how she wanted them. Seeing her so concentration on the pillows sparked another memory from Germany, but this was set in Frankfurt.

Flashback

Nat and I were camping out in an old hotel room conversing about how we've been when the conversation turned to Rena.

"You really love her, don't you?" She said warmly.

I sat down on the edge of the queen-size bed and ran my hand through my hair, "Yeah, I do. But I don't know if she loves me back."

Nat sat down beside me, tossing her legs onto my lap and running one hand through my hair, "She does, trust me. I can tell by the way she playfully gets annoyed by you when you wake her up early, by the way she's starting to incorporate red, white, and blue into her daily outfits, and how she was near tears when you were boarding the quinjet. She wouldn't do all that if she didn't love you."

I nodded understandingly, "True, but still…" I said, trailing off.

"Still what?" She pressed.

"I know I've left for missions before. Hell, longer than this one! But I feel so guilty for leaving her behind, even if it is for only a few weeks."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her smile. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to my cheek gently.

She pulled away and said, "You're a great father, Rogers. Don't forget that now."

Flashback over

Those words still reverberated in my mind. I looked on the couch to see that Rena was already asleep. Chuckling to myself, I walked to Nat's room, knocking on the door first.

"Come in."

I walked in to see Nat was still in her wheelchair.

"Hey, Steve. How's Rena?"

"Right now she's asleep."

She snorted, "Typical teen, besides, she's had a pretty hectic day."

I nodded, "Yeah, we all have. Do you want help getting into bed?"

"Sure, but you'll have to buy me dinner first." She said, flashing a grin.

Blush rushed to my cheeks as I realized how that could be interpreted in the 21st century.

Sensing my plight, Nat wheeled over to me, "Steve, it's alright, it was a joke. And yes, for once I'd like some help.

Her arms wrapped around my neck when I bent down and picked her up bridal style. I carefully carried her over to the bed and set her down gently. I tucked the covers around her and made sure everything was okay.

"G'night, Natasha." I soothingly said before I kissed her cheek and walked out, pretending not to notice the blush that was slowly crawling up her cheeks.

I looked at the clock in the hallway, it was barely 8:35 at night! At least I might get some sleep for once, I thought tiredly. I walked into my room and closed the door. I exchanged my jeans and button up for a pair of plaid pants and a loose tank. I buried myself beneath the covers and fell into slumber as soon as my head collided with the pillow.

It was approximately 2 a.m. when I heard my door squeak open. Waking up in a second, I grabbed my shield from the side of my bed and held it at the ready.

"Who's there?" I hissed.

"R-Rena, y-y-your ward."

Guilt hit me like a hammer as I placed my shield back where it was.

"Rena? What are you doing awake?"

In the dim light I saw her gripping her pillow tightly, fingernails slightly tearing into the fabric.

"I…uh…had an l-less than d-desirable…d-dream." She stuttered fearfully, trying to be brave.

I sighed, remembering those times where I had nightmares and I'd crawl into bed with my mom and she'd sing me back to sleep.

I motioned her over, but she remained fearfully in her spot by the door frame.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Rena." I said calmly, "I was scared, like you are."

"I never said I was scared!" She said in an outburst.

I shook my head, "Well, do you want to talk about it?"

She gently began to pad over to my bed, still holding her vice-like grip on the pillow.

"It was just a nightmare, I don't even know why I came in here."

I flicked on my reading lamp and saw that she had noticeable dark circles under her eyes.

"Rena," I said worriedly, "How long have you been up?"

"Christ, Rena!" I exclaimed, "Why didn't you wake me up before?"

She sat on the edge of the bed and shrugged, "I thought I could handle it like before, but then some…not-so-nice images began to float around."

I scooted closer to her, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She began to shake her head, but then nodded instead, "Parts of it, I'm still figuring out the rest."

I wrapped my arm around her tiny frame, "Go at your own pace, hon."

She took a deep breath, "It was like I was falling down the rabbit hole, from Alice in Wonderland. These images then flashed on the walls; the night my parents' died, then the hospital, then…some other events."

Other events? I wanted to question her, but I was afraid that it would ruin the whole process.

"Then I saw you. You were leaving me, Steve, saying how you didn't want me anymore. I was bleeding out on the sidewalk, yet you continued to say how I got myself into that position. That's how I knew it was a dream, but it still scared me. Then I saw a shadow, the one I've seen in the windows from time to time. The shadow…it was taking everyone. Suddenly, I was standing in a cemetery. The tombstones engraved with every person I cared about."

Tears made heavy tracks down her cheeks. I pulled her in for a hug and she sobbed into my shirt, making rather large tear stains. I kept my hold on her until the sobs subsided.

"Feeling better?"

She nodded, and then suddenly looked green in the face. She ran into the bathroom and retched the remnants of last night's dinner, I guess all the bawling triggered it. I followed her and held her hair back as she finished up. I made her brush her teeth and throw it away in the trash can.

"I'm sorry, Steve, crying too much can make a girl lose her lunch."

I smiled sadly, "You've got nothing to apologize for. Do you feel better?"

She nodded meekly, "Yeah, I'll just go back to sleep."

I nodded and she walked out of the room and back to her couch. I slumped back on the bed, feeling completely useless and tried to go back to sleep.

Rena's POV

I sauntered back to the sofa, still shaken, both physically and mentally, at my nightmares. I felt my hands twitch, happens every time I'm seriously frightened or threatened. A flight or fight stimulus. I remembering Father Sanders telling me, "Just keep calm, God will help smite your problems."

Whatever, I sat down and placed my chin on top of my intertwined hands that rested on my legs. I attempted to sort through the nightmare, going through the images as if they were in a scrapbook.

Finally, I happened at the heart of it. There was a black room, dimly lit by a hanging lamp. I stood at one side of the room and…I also stood at the other, but it wasn't me…as crazy as that sounds. It was another half, a more violent, and silent, part of me.

We began to fight, I have no idea why, but we did. Blows and kicks were tossed around and I felt every one of them. I looked around the room, we were all alone, except for a man with a mechanical arm with a red star at the bicep. The second I made eye contact with him, he was gone, vanished into thin air.

I tried to focus on the fight, but feeling every injury inflicted made it difficult to concentrate. It began to become too much. The blows persistently got harder and harder and harder until…I woke up in a cold sweat.

I shook my head, trying to erase that image from my mind. Why were there 2 of me and why were we fighting? I mean, hell, it was me! I'm pretty sure there's no reason for me to be fighting against myself!

I tried to clear those thoughts from my mind, it should only be a repercussion, nothing more. Nothing more! I waveringly stood and went to the kitchen to make some hot water and lemon. While grabbing the mug from the microwave, I sloshed some of the boiling liquid down the front of my shirt. Whisper-yelling a slew of swears, I dabbed the stain with a paper towel, soaking up the hot water.

Once that was all said and done, I walked over to the window sill bench and sat down, gazing at the 2:45 a.m. stars across the D.C. skyline. I sipped my half-full cup every once in a while, taking in the view. Soon, I heard the familiar footsteps of Captain America.

"Wonderful view, right?"

I nodded, "Yeah, just wish I didn't have to have a nightmare to see it."

He ruffled my hair, "I know…back in Germany. I used to gaze up at the night sky while on night watch. I used to think, how could so much beauty be in such an evil place? I never told the rest of the Commandos, but I think they all agreed with me."

"How did you do it, Steve?" I asked, "How did you manage to go through hell, literally in this case, and come out smiling?"

He chuckled dryly, "Well, to tell the truth, I've been through many versions of hell, most of them with Natasha. Punching a few bad guys help." He smiled at my soft laughter, "But for the long run, you think about how much life would be different if you'd fail and how much better you made it by succeeding. Then you go to a bar for a few drinks."

I quirked an eyebrow, "I thought the Super Soldier couldn't get drunk?"

He shrugged, "I can't, but sometimes just the flavor helps."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, but I don't think that'd work on me, Steve."

He shook his head, "Oh, I know and don't you let me catch you drinking heavily. The drinking age may have been different way back, but I still uphold the laws of this country."

I quirked ab eyebrow, "You broke multiple laws while serving SHIELD and you're going to get hoity-toity with me having the occasional beer?"

"Pretty much, because giving into the alcohol is the coward's way out and you, my dear, are no coward."

"Okay, then what can I do?"

He sat down beside me, "Talk about it, punch a few bags in the gym, and have a root beer."

"In that order?" I chuckled.

He nodded with a smile, "I don't see why not."

I shrugged, "Who knew that being the daughter of a superhero was going to be such a pain in the ass. Especially one who abides by all the freaking rules!"

He snorted, "I never said it wasn't."

"You never said it was." I retorted, "So what happens now? Do we just wait around until SHIELD deploys you again?"

"That, or wait for another apocalypse."

I looked at him questionably, then realized he was talking about the Battle of New York.

"You better get to bed, kiddo. I have to go in to fill out paperwork so you'll be spending the day with Natasha." He said while getting up.

"Oh goody," I mumbled disdainfully, "I get to spend the whole day with a woman who can kill me 17 different ways with her pinky."

Apparently he heard me a he was walking away since he laughed and said, "It's actually 21 ways, Rena."

I rolled my eyes and continued to watch the skyline until the sun rose up, signaling a new day.