Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the Twilight universe and characters. No infringement intended.

Chapter 7

BPOV

A couple of weeks after kicking Edward's ass at Scrabble, a freak heatwave hit and it made everyone cranky, groggy and uncomfortable. While I was getting things done at work, I couldn't bear to be around anyone. My door remained firmly shut, and even the others had taken to closing their own office doors as well. Rosalie and Alice coped by wearing breezy dresses and strappy shoes and the guys simply came in wearing shorts and t-shirts. I stuck to my uniform of jeans and t-shirts, though I did wish I had the time and energy to shop for something lighter.

They had taken a vote and vowed against cranking up the aircon. The heatwave was supposed to break in a matter of days, and would get back down to the normal cool and wet weather, but for now it was almost intolerable. Aside from work, I did nothing. I cancelled out on invitations from all of the Cullens, and practically ran away from any other person who approached me. A disagreement with Rosalie did nothing to improve my temper, so I avoided everything, even going so far as to programming all the phones to go straight to voicemail and not bothering to check my personal email.

I paced my apartment when at home, and couldn't find anything to occupy my time. It made me broody and sullen. I didn't feel like completing any of my own projects, and even my habit of sleeping my problems away were fail. My insomnia was stronger than ever, and I was ready to beat the shit out of the next person who dared to even wave in my direction.

After six attempts to fall asleep and a totally useless shower that made me feel even hotter than before, I had enough. I checked the clock on the microwave, saw that it was after 3 am, and after a moment of consideration, hastily pulled on a bra, undershirt, and a pair of skanky cut-offs. I tied my hair up in a ponytail and slid on my flipflops. Fuck the possibility of being stared at by one of the Cullens, it was too bloody hot to worry about modesty at this late hour.

I quietly let myself out of the apartment, and took the stairs to the lobby. I had just made it to the fridge where I knew there should have been another of those freaking amazing brownies, when I heard someone clear his throat.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Edward said, a slow flush appearing at the base of his neck.

My ongoing fury instantly turned to lust as I turned to see him sprawled out on the couch wearing just a pair of snug fitting running shorts and a fine layer of perspiration over his body. I automatically averted my eyes, and wiped a bead of my own sweat from my forehead with the back of my hand.

"I wasn't scared," I told him, restraining the urge to cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm sorry," he repeated and I forced myself to look back at him. He exhaled shakily, "It's pretty hot."

We both had our eyes locked on each other, and it took all of my control to not look away at what I really wanted to see. He swallowed audibly and I could feel my pulse hammering wildly.

"Just… just go ahead and look," I said and motioned for him to stand up as well.

For what seemed to be a long time, he stared my body up and down but I was too busy doing the same thing. My eyes drew up and down the length of his body, and I tried to keep my face void of expression. He was lean but muscular and his pale skin was more striking in the moonlight that came in from the high windows of the lobby. He had a wonderfully taut abdomen, and darkening hair that trailed from his navel to the waistband of his shorts. Not wanting to tempt myself any further, I quickly averted my eyes, but not after checking out his runner's legs, lightly muscled arms, and back to his broad chest.

"What… what are you doing up?" he asked, nonsensically, though I appreciated his conversation starter in the moment.

"I don't know, I have insomnia, I never sleep."

"Since when?" he seemed surprised. He sat back down on the couch, and I went after my brownie again. I sat opposite of him after getting a bottle of water and letting my flipflops fall to the floor. Already, I was starting to relax, once I quit focusing on his body.

"Since like the 90s. Don't worry, this is nothing new, though the heat adds to it," I assured him.

"Have you ever tried to do anything about it?"

"Meh, I tried changing my diet, and I exercise regularly. I hate the idea of prescription medication, so I generally just try to do my best on my own. "

"That does explain some things," he mused.

"What things?"

"Oh, why I can hear you walking around at night at weird hours. I thought maybe you were a sleepwalker."

"I'm sorry," I apologised quickly, "I thought you said you couldn't hear me from downstairs."

He waved me off, "Don't worry about it. I can only hear noises from the flooring, not music or voices or your television."

"I don't watch tv," I muttered, but tried apologising again. Fuck, I was up late a lot, and always paced around. I could only begin to imagine him having to listen to my manic ways.

"I said don't worry about it," he repeated, "I only hear it if I'm awake. I'm not a great sleeper either, so half the time I'm already up playing the piano or watching the news. You don't hear that, do you?"

I shook my head, but asked, "Why don't you sleep well?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "Esme used to think it was because I was so quiet as a child. I didn't talk much when I was young, and aside from music, had very few outlets of expression. I spent a lot of time awake at night, unable to keep my mind from being active. I never really outgrew the habit."

He looked over at my expression of interest, but I focused on eating my brownie.

"What?" he prodded.

"You grew up with the others? Alice and Jasper? Emmett and Rose?"

He nodded, "I was adopted, just like the others. Carlisle adopted me on his own, before he met Esme. She had adopted Rosalie and Jasper on her own. Not a year after they met and married, they adopted Emmett, then Alice. We ranged in age from 8 to 12. Emmett's the oldest followed by Rosalie, Jasper, me and then Alice."

"It was like they were all meant for each other," he said thoughtfully, "Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice; they coupled off almost immediately. Rosalie and Emmett became best friends. They had an immediate relationship that I never managed with her, even though I had met her first. It was puppy love for them, right from the start. They were eleven and twelve. They never broke up, never dated anyone else. Of course, they kept it a secret, but nobody was really surprised when they finally admitted it to us. It wasn't a big deal.

"When Alice was adopted, she was still a child. Jasper was ten, almost eleven, but Alice was a very young eight year old. She followed him around like he hung the moon for her. Yet, he doted on her right back. It was difficult as they got older; there was always this weird tension about them. The year that Alice entered high school, Jasper asked permission from Esme and Carlisle to date her. There was a big family conference, and of course, nobody could deny them each other."

"It must have been difficult for you, growing up like that," I said.

He didn't say anything, and I continued on, "I can only imagine how it must have felt to be surrounded by so much love. Carlisle and Esme, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice. I can see how it would be good to be part of a family that loved each other so much, but I would imagine that it might have been kind of… lonely, too."

"I guess I did feel kind of left out, from time to time," he admitted.

I nodded and reached for his hand. He returned my comforting squeeze and then said, "I heard about your disagreement with Rosalie."

I let out a breath of air, but shook my head, "She was only trying to be… helpful."

"She got into your face about your admirers," he prodded.

"Edward, the only reason why Mike and Jacob, and I guess, Eric and Tyler are interested in me is because I am new. I know how small towns are. Rosalie, Alice and Emmett… they mean well enough. However, at this point, I'm really only interested in running into you and Jasper these days. Neither of you push me to make a decision about meeting people, and for that I am everfucking grateful."

I closed my eyes and continued hurriedly, "Edward, I'd like to apologise if they are pushing you on me as well. I'm sure they are saying stuff to you, too."

"What?" he asked loudly, and I opened my eyes to see him staring at me in amazement, "They don't have to push me on you. You know that. I love being with you."

"I meant romantically," I clarified.

"Would you… would you still say no if I asked you out," he questioned and I sighed wearily.

"Edward, I didn't say that to sucker you in for a date or anything."

"You told Rosalie that you knew I didn't feel that way about you. Why would you say that? You know I like you. You don't think that I think of you as a buddy, do you? Am I your buddy?" he demanded, appearing both hurt and horrified.

"Edward Cullen," I said, taking a deep breath, "We are 100% absolutely not buddies. I… don't know what we are, but I don't think we fall under the buddy category. Obviously."

He took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and said, "Just so we are clear. I like you, a fucking hell of a lot. Crystal clear is this: I don't like you as a buddy. I'd ask you out, but I recognise your stance on no dating. I don't want to lose you as a friend, but can handle being your friend if that is all that you are comfortable with. Bella, all you have to do is say the word, or even fucking send me a text message giving me the nod and I will do anything possible to persuade you to go out with me romantically. I want that, Bella Swan."

I squeezed his hand again, and said lowly, "Edward. I know you want that. I honestly think, though, that you'd be a fool to go there. I'm… no good at that kind of relationship, and I don't ever want to let you down."

"You won't let me down," he said stubbornly.

"You can't know that," I said, and felt so sorry for him, and sorry for me.