When I woke up it was morning, or at least I thought it was. I rolled over to find mascara stains all over my white pillow case. I suddenly remembered crying myself to sleep last night. I looked over to the side where Rory sleeps, he wasn't there. Where was he? He was probably talking to the Doctor. The Doctor,oh no - how could I face him since last night? In fact how can I face any of them since last night? I knew I had to face them some time. So I went for a shower, got dressed and I made my way down the corridor.

As I walked quietly down the corridor, I heard Rory and the Doctor talking about something. They didn't know I was there. They were talking about me. I panicked, what if Rory knew what had happened last night and he never confronted me? He's done that before, he didn't confront me over that kiss me and the Doctor shared the night before my wedding until . I leaned my back against the wall, hiding from them so I could know what they were saying, I listened in trying not to make a noise.

"Please just be quiet Rory I'm busy over here" the Doctor said in an annoying tone

"But why was she crying though?" Rory asked looking at him in confusion "It doesn't make sense"

"I don't know Rory" the Doctor whispered back, trying his hardest not to shout at him.

"But it wasn't just for 10 minutes or anything like that, she cried herself to sleep. I-I don't think I've done anything have I?" Rory asked

The Doctor stopped fidgeting about with the control panel, he raised his head to look at Rory. Rory looked at him in deep thought. An idea had just popped into his head.

"Unless...you've done something to upset her" Rory suggested looking angrily at the Doctor

"Did you do anything to make her upset?" Rory asked

"Me? no! What made you think that?" the Doctor asked pretending to be surprised by the dreaded question coming from Rory

Then I decided then to intervene. I walked down the corridor acting as if I didn't hear a word and had just woken up. They turned to me sharply and I pulled a confused face in return.

"What's up with you two? I asked "You look as though you're surprised I'm here"

"Nothing, nothing" Rory said the same time the Doctor said "Nonsense Pond!"

Rory was looking at me up and down whilst the Doctor began to circle the control panel pulling various leavers. I kept my eyes fixated on him as he did so. Rory looked over at him as well. He did this all the time, distracting himself by keeping busy. Then he looked over and smiled at us both. Smiling? why would he be smiling?

"I think it's time we go on another little adventure" he said with a huge grin excited at the thought of it.

I didn't want to go on an adventure, not after last night. How could I possibly explore new galaxies and planets with my husband who I basically cheated on only last night? I knew the Doctor wanted to see me happy, he loves it when I smile and I smile because he makes me smile. I love Rory ,I do, I feel terrible what I've done to him. Sometimes now and then, I don't know who I love more, I can't choose? How can I possibly choose? I waited my whole life for this one man and when he leaves you for twelve years you need someone to open up to, to cry onto and someone who's there for you when he's not. That was Rory. He was that person who was there for me when I needed him.

I never meant to fall in love with Rory. We were best friends, me, Jeff, Mel and Rory. I knew he wanted to be more, the way he looked at me. How he gave up his time to be with me. How did I not see it sooner? I even thought he was gay for crying out loud! Then I realised that Rory was in love with me. I gave up and settled down with the fact that the Doctor wasn't coming back. I let myself fall in love with Rory. Then that one day it all changed.

The day he came back, my raggedy doctor came back. That noise from that glorious time machine the ringing that was in my ears every night as I fell asleep. And when he found out who I was and how late he was for me, he looked into my eyes, those eyes that I looked into from when I was seven years old, the eyes that I look into now and see nothing but love and desire. The way he holds me, hugs me and kisses me. It makes me feel complete, the years I've been waiting, the stories i told about him and the drawings in my scrapbook it's sounds like something out of a fairy tale. But when he realised it was me 12 years later, the little Amelia he had left behind, he never saw me the same way again.

Then reality hit me like a brick wall when the Doctor shouted "Lets go Ponds!"

"Where did you have in mind?" I asked swiftly

"I'm thinking Zyronth" he replied "Beautiful place, you'll love it"

"Hhhmmm I was thinking breakfast!" I hissed as I shut down the console controls (Yes! I knew how to do that)

The Doctor sighed as I walked through to the kitchen. "Alright we leave in ten minutes! There is so much out there that's to be seen!" he shouted as I was rummaging through the cupboards looking for some cereal to eat. Rory left the Doctor in the console room and joined me in the kitchen.

"Alright what's going on?" Rory asked me. I couldn't be bothered with this, he would never just let anything go.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I found the cereal and started opening the box

"Something or someone made you upset last night Amy" Rory said impatiently waiting for a plausible answer from me.

I didn't want to look at him because I was so busy trying to open the packet, he took the box off of me and opened it for me. It scared me that he was so determined to find out what was going on. Did he know? Was he on to something? Maybe he heard us talking? Nah. Rory could sleep through anything, it took ages to wake him in the mornings.

"Upset?" I asked pouring the cereal out into a bowl

"Amy will you just look at me?" Rory hissed from behind, hovering over my shoulder

I sighed and put down the bowl, and turned around to look at him. He looked concerned in a way, maybe he was worried of the fact that someone had hurt me.

"What is it?" he asked "Amy, you can tell me"

I rolled my eyes and tried not to look at him. I did not want to have this conversation, I wanted to escape the whole situation for a while - these feelings felt as though they were suffocating me, not letting me breathe. Suffocating me with guilt, lust, pain and pity. But yet here was my husband doing what he should be doing asking if I was alright and for now I had to appreciate him for what he was doing for me.

"Rory it's nothing..." I said placing my hands on his face and looking into his eyes "Honestly" I whispered

"Alright" he said in relief looking into my eyes "But you would tell me if there was yeah?"

"Yes of course" I said

He stood still as I walked away slowly shutting my eyes tight wishing I didn't just lie to him. I don't know if Rory believed me or not, but he was thankful that I had answered his question. I joined the Doctor back in the console room. He was busy pulling the levers and fidgeting about with the screen, probably researching this planet we were about to explore tomorrow. The weather, what the people are like and where about's in the universe this place is located.

"Did you have something to eat?" the Doctor asked me

"I lost my apatite" I shrugged

Soon after a two minute lecture about 'how a human's most important meal of the day is breakfast', I told him that I wasn't in the mood to go travelling today and that I just wanted to take a little break, this he took as an insult.

"A break? Pond this is a time machine we have 'breaks', there's people to meet and greet, planets to be saved"

"Yessssssss!" I said, grinning and adjusting his bow-tie "We can meet, greet and save the planets and the people tomorrow - please for me?"

"Oh alright Amy! but we're definitely going tomorrow and I'll wake the pair of you up if I have too"

I laughed in return as I headed I decided to visit the wardrobe room. All of a sudden I hated what I was wearing. The shoes didn't go with the trousers and the pink top just wasn't my colour. I needed something more comfortable, more sophisticated. Really, I needed something to distract me for a while.

the Doctor's P.O.V

I looked at her as she turned her back to me. Rory had came back through to the console room. I knew he was going to talk to me about why Amy was acting funny. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. She just needs some alone time to sort that head of hers out. All I could think about is what she was going to say or do next - but I let her be unlike Rory who wouldn't stop with the questions. On and on and on he went!

"I just want to know whats wrong with her" he said

"I'm sure it's nothing Ponder on" I replied followed with a laugh, I was pretty chuffed with that one!

He found it funny for a split second as he smiled, then he rolled his eyes at me "No I'm being serious"

"Ohhhh" the Doctor sighed "Probably just women stuff we'll never understand"

"I know but I just worry about her you know?" Rory asked me "I feel it's something I should understand - she's not her bossy self"

"Y'know Rory I can't deny that opinion of yours - she's definitely the bossiest mare I've ever met" I replied, she was bossy but that's one of the many things I admire about her

I had felt terrible, Rory was my friend and now I've gone and kissed Amy, his wife in the middle of the night while he's asleep in bed probably dreaming about their future together. Of course I couldn't help sharing a laugh with Rory about her and show our general concerns at the same time. Pond would be saying in her wild Scottish accent: "Only those two numpties would be capable of that".

Hours had passed, and I wondered around the rooms to check that the Pond's were sleeping in their room. I had found Rory asleep in the library chair with an open book in his lap. So I just closed the door back over leaving him to sleep. That book must be extremely boring.

I planned to go back to my bedroom for my usual two-hour sleep. Then as I approached my bedroom I heard sobs coming from the other side of the door. Oh no she was in my room. I sighed before opening the door. I couldn't just leave her there crying, it hurt when she cried. I felt guilty enough for leaving her behind for twelve years and now I couldn't help but feel as though it was my fault she was crying. So I slowly opened the door found her at the bottom of my bed crying into a pillow she had found.

"Amy" I whispered

"Just go away!" she hissed.

She said it was my fault for coming back for her and that I had brought these feelings she had toward me back since I had met her again as a woman in Leadworth, defeating Prisoner Zero. She said that I had abandoned her and came back two years too late as she was engaged when I had encountered her again.

"I can't do this anymore" she said in between soft cries

"Am-"

"It's not even been a day and I feel horrible! How else am I supposed to cope every other day of my life?" she asked cutting me off

"Amy listen-"

"No you listen!" she hissed cutting me off again, jumping up onto her feet saying it inches from my face as though I hadn't heard her properly

"Amy we can't do this here - It can't happen right now" I said, I couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. It hurt for me to even think of them, how much would it hurt her to hear them?

"We kissed last night remember!" she said, as though I had forgotten all about that lustful ever-lasting kiss she had given me. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was saying things I had wanted her to say for so long. Things that were right but oh so wrong.

"I love you and you love me" she finished

"I know, I know" I whispered as I kissed her softly on the forehead as she cried into my chest. All of a sudden everything was quiet. The distant sound of the console noises and the cloister bell coming down from the end of the corridor wasn't even heard. It felt as though it was just us.

To be honest I was crying a tad too. I can't have this woman and I wanted her. Oh I wanted her. But I can't ever have this impossible, irresistible redhead all to myself. All I could do was wrap my arms around her and whisper:

"Pond what am i going to do with you?"

"But I love Rory too i just don't know what to do" she sighed

The words broke my heart and I just wanted to know who she truly loved. Rory is a good man. He treats her like she should be treated. He's there for her when she needs him unlike me who puts my selfish fantasies of travelling before her as I did in the past.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be, it's just not fair" she whispered as she crawled back onto my bed to lie down..."It's just not fair"

I didn't know what to say. This was just one huge gigantic ball of mess. I loved her and she loved me but she's married and it's wrong. If anything was going to happen she would have to break Rory's heart and we didn't want to do it and in all honesty, I wouldn't love her any less if she chose not to end her marriage and continued her life with him on Earth.

"We need to tell him" she said, sitting up to look down at me sitting at the bottom of the bed

"I know, I know" I agreed, wishing we'd never be in this position

"But what am I supposed to say though? Im sorry Rory but i'm in love with someone else and I want a divorce although we just got married?" I sighed

"I never would have got married to him if I had known who you were at the time. This is all your future wife's fault"

By wife she had meant River. When I found out she was my wife, I didn't deny the fact. I knew she was - why else would she have my sonic screwdriver?

"There's another reason against us - your wife. Doctor, she's your wife in the future. Maybe that tells us that we never happen or if we did, it never lasted."

I couldn't reassure Amy that she might not be my wife in the future. Because River Song is my future wife. There's no denying it. I did tell her though that we hadn't been properly introduced yet and I didn't know when or when in my life I would meet her and marry her. That night as we talked and cried about how we were going to tell Rory about all of this, we didn't that Rory wasn't asleep at all anymore. He had actually been standing out in the hallway and he heard everything that Pond and I had said.