A/N: Thank you SO SO SO MUCH for all of your amazing reviews! *hugs*
Another ridiculously long chapter, but in my defense, there's only one more chapter left after this one and I have to put all of these scenes somewhere, right? ;)
And a little announcement: it may take me two or even three weeks to post the last chapter, because there are so many scenes I'd like to include in it! And I just have no idea how I'm going to find the time to write them all lol
Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.
Chapter 21
"Did you know that the word sushi doesn't include any reference to fish at all?" Alaric said in a completely lighthearted, conversational manner, holding the phone with his shoulder while reaching for the chopsticks. "It just refers to rice seasoned with salt, sugar and vinegar."
Damon blinked, glancing around the sunlit gas station with growing irritation. "Did you hear what I just said?"
"Well," Alaric squinted and took a leisurely sip of his green tea. "You kind of keep repeating the same sentence over and over and over again, so it'd be difficult to have missed it."
Damon grimaced, pushing two more quarters into the coin slot. "Is it just me or was everyone being much nicer when I had the amnesia?"
"It is just you. Everyone was being the same," Alaric said, looking over a piece of sushi before dipping it in the soy sauce. "You, however, were being decidedly less paranoid."
"I'm not paranoid."
"You want us to come back home immediately, even though we haven't even seen the Himeji Castle yet."
"You're not funny, Ric."
"All I'm saying is that there's no emergency-"
"Yes, there is an emergency," Damon interrupted him. "My girlfriend doesn't remember that she's my girlfriend!"
Alaric sighed, making an effort to keep amusement out of his voice. "That's not an emergency. That's a minor inconvenience at best, especially considering that she's on a road trip with you right now, isn't she? Besides, wasn't she your girlfriend before she knew she was your girlfriend? Or something like that. In any case, I'd say the ratio of reality versus inevitability remains the same, so-"
"How does that make it a minor inconvenience? It makes it a major inconvenience," Damon said with a disbelieving frown. "And I don't have a clue what you even mean by that second part."
"Either way," Alaric continued, not quite succeeding at keeping his voice serious, "we'd barely seen anything in Paris and Rome. We flew to Tokyo sooner than it was originally planned. I don't really have any means to convince Klaus to speed up his sightseeing designs even more."
"And you sound awfully torn up about it," Damon muttered. "Aren't you a super-vampire or something?"
"And he's an original hybrid who can't be killed- What's that sound?"
"I'm running out of quarters," Damon grunted, squinting. "I'm calling from a pay phone. Elena confiscated my cell."
Alaric chuckled. "Well, looks like she's got your mood figured. I have to go anyway. We're going to see a play tonight. Did you know-"
"Save ten fun facts about Japanese culture for your students. I have to go too," Damon said grumpily before hanging up.
He stepped away from the phone just in time to see Elena walk out of the store, someone holding the door open for her, saying something to her while she smiled and even laughed a little.
With a frown, Damon made his way toward her, the stranger and Elena apparently wishing each other a good day and parting ways before Damon got close enough to hear anything of the conversation.
"What was that all about?" He asked, walking up to her and shooting the stranger a glare over his shoulder.
Elena widened her eyes at him as if she had no idea what he was talking about, but then understanding seemed to dawn on her and she pulled out a small writing pad and a pen that she'd apparently just bought at the gas station.
Tilting his head to the side, Damon watched her write for a few moments, before moving to stand next to her and taking a look at the words she'd written in bullet points.
"What are doing?" He asked, confused.
"I'm making notes," Elena said, snapping the pen close and giving Damon a vaguely challenging look. "You're not telling me anything, so I'm taking notes to learn something about our life together," she added, walking past him and heading toward the car.
Damon looked after her in bafflement for a couple of seconds before quickly following her.
"What do toothbrushes have to do with anything?" He asked with a grimace, looking at Elena over the roof of the camaro.
"The ones we have are too hard. Softer toothbrushes are actually healthier," Elena replied matter-of-factly, getting into the car.
Blinking, Damon jumped into the driver's seat. "Car insurance?"
"It's expired, I checked," Elena said and Damon glanced right and left, wondering how and when she'd even managed to do that. "So we need to renew it as soon as possible." She reached for the seatbelt, completely ignoring the still puzzled look on Damon's face.
"I don't have jealousy issues," he said, remembering the last point on the list.
Elena snorted humorlessly. "You so do."
"I so don't," Damon protested.
"Fine," Elena said with a sigh, turning to her notepad again and crossing out the 'jealousy issues' line.
Damon was about to turn on the engine, but then he noticed that Elena added another point to her list.
"I'm not despotic."
Elena crossed out 'despotic' and wrote 'petulant' instead. Damon snatched the writing pad and the pen out of her hands. She narrowed her eyes at him and for a moment he seemed to ponder throwing the writing pad out of the window altogether, but then he apparently changed his mind and wrote something on the next page. He tore out the page and handed it to Elena, his eyes locking with hers for a moment before he turned on the engine and headed out of the gas station.
Elena looked down at the note in her hands and bit her lip, her expression softening, an inner smile brightening her eyes.
"I'm just trying to learn something about us," she said quietly, tracing the three words the note consisted of with her fingertips, which didn't escape Damon's attention. He glanced up, trying to read from her face if she was doing it absently or because she really wanted to. "You haven't said a word since we left Mystic Falls an hour ago."
"What can I say that you don't already know?" Damon asked grimly, averting his eyes from her when she looked at him.
"Damon, I don't know anything that happened in the last three years!" Elena said, giving him an incredulous look and watching him for a few seconds, his eyes fixed on the road. "Why do you think I want to know everything that happened between us?" She asked after a pause. He didn't answer. "Do you think I'm after some kind of evidence to talk my way out of our relationship?" She grimaced, glancing at his hands that tensed over the steering wheel. "I'm not," she said, reaching out and covering one of his hands with hers. His eyes darted to her face. "I just want to know more about our time together. Is it so hard to understand?"
Damon looked back at the road and then abruptly turned right and stopped the car on the side of the road where it seemed to merge with a path leading into the forest.
"Yes, Elena, it is," he said with some difficulty, looking straight ahead. Elena frowned. "Because for all you know, because the last thing you know, the last thing you must remember is that you didn't want to be with me. So yes I do think that the main reason why you want to know about our time together is to figure out how you could've possibly ended up in such a nightmarish situation," he concluded in a rushed, strained voice, almost running out of breath as if it'd taken an enormous effort to say all these words out loud.
It wasn't entirely true, he knew... or at least he hoped it wasn't, but he just couldn't stop himself from sharing with her the most severe version of his thoughts.
He couldn't just wait it out, as simple as it would be. They could easily spend a day or two or three avoiding uncomfortable discussions and then Elena would get her memories back and everything would be alright again. But somehow he couldn't do that. He felt like it wouldn't be fair to either of them.
Without looking at Elena, Damon got out of the car and inhaled the cool air, surveying the pale blue sky with his eyes narrowed. It wasn't as dark and the trees didn't look as gloomy, but they reminded him of that evening on the island. And now he was probably doing just what Elena had told him back then that he was always doing. Sabotaging things. But no matter how much he tried to let go of all those nagging, troubling thoughts and just focus on her being here, the fear that she might not really want to be here was stronger.
A moment later he heard the passenger door open and he felt a twinge of fear indistinguishable from relief at the sound of Elena's footsteps quiet against the grass. Even without heightened senses he could feel with every fibre of his body her every step that was bringing her closer to him.
"You have it all wrong." Walking to stand in front of him, Elena looked at Damon with tenderness that he would've found heartwarming if he wasn't worried that it was driven by some kind of compassion.
At the same time, he was involuntarily drawing some semblance of reassurance from the fact that she was standing right in front of him, still here, still near, so close he could reach out with his hand and touch hers- Only that she might not really want it.
He smiled dejectedly. "No, Elena, I think I have it quite right."
"No, Damon, you don't," Elena said impatiently, beginning to sound really upset.
He looked away from her. "I don't think this conversation, this trip is being very productive," he whispered in a tone that was both sour and resigned. "Maybe we should just go back-"
"Why are you doing this?" Elena interrupted him, taking a step back and widening her eyes at him.
He seemed to notice her taking the step back of all things and she wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry at how ridiculous he was being. She was torn between taking a step toward him again and taking three more steps back, but the latter would just mirror his childish behavior.
Damon sighed. "I told you-"
"Yes, I know you told me you didn't know what to do and I told you I didn't know either, but I thought that'd be a breakthrough. Instead, we just continue acting silly. Can't you just forget that I lost my memories and behave as if I didn't? I'm still the same person and if things have changed between us it means that things have changed between us and I'm OK with that."
"How? Why? Why are you OK with that?" Damon asked and Elena exhaled, glad that his attitude was at least becoming more confrontational than defensive, but at the same time she wasn't sure she'd be able to explain her feelings well enough to take advantage of that. But before she had a chance to even try, he dismissed all of her untold explanations in advance. "That's very gracious of you, but... I don't need your kindness," he pronounced the word with a grimace of disdain. "You don't have to resign yourself to your fate, Elena. There is no fate," he said with a half-triumphant, half-rueful smile that she couldn't unambiguously interpret. "You're free," he said bitterly with the same expression, blinking rapidly before turning away from her.
"If I'm free then why can't I make my own choices?"
"You can," he said tonelessly and she grasped his arm to turn him around.
He didn't resist, but when she looked at him, his expression was guarded.
"I keep telling you that I want to be with you and you keep pushing me away." Elena's eyes wandered around Damon's face and she marveled inwardly at the impression that she knew every line on his face, that she could probably faithfully paint it with her eyes closed.
"No, Elena. You keep telling me that you want to understand why we are together. So here it is. We aren't. You can start over. Choose anew. Do what you want. Do what you really want."
Elena grimaced in exasperation, but the dark light in his eyes was making it impossible for her to even get truly mad at him, because it was apparent that his own words were causing him far more pain than they were causing her. She found them merely infuriating.
"No, Damon, I can't!" She grasped his forearm a little harder. "You're making it impossible for me to do what I want, because you keep telling me that I can't possibly want what I want," she said a little breathlessly and he wasn't sure if she was making a deliberate callback or if it just came out this way. "What proof do you need to believe that I want to be with you?
She wondered if it was a certain level of abstraction that was making the words so exhilarating to say or perhaps it was just the way his eyes darted to her. Either way, she was momentarily stunned by the sudden conviction that it didn't matter that they were arguing right now, because they weren't really arguing anyway... And she laughed in her mind at these words simultaneously not making any and making all the sense in the world.
Damon seemed to ponder something, if only for a split second, before he apparently decided to throw caution, common sense and everything else that was bothering him to the wind and say on an impulse something he wasn't planning on saying, but somehow the words just spontaneously formed themselves in his head and rolled off his tongue like a challenge, for him, for her, he wasn't sure. Elena wasn't either. But what she was sure of, was that breathing joined the list of her forgotten skills when Damon blurted out in a low, passionate, uneven voice:
"Marry me."
xxxdelenaxxx
"Alright, so fair warning, I haven't done it since I was thirteen," Jeremy said, submerging the oars on either side of the boat and beginning to row.
"Hey, be careful," Bonnie said in a mockingly warning voice. "After everything I've been through I don't want to die by drowning in a lake. That'd just be totally lame."
"Not as lame as forgetting three hundred years of your life," Enzo muttered with a timid, friendly smile that slightly startled both Bonnie and Jeremy every time. "I mean... death-"
"The technical term is: undeadness," Jeremy said with a perfectly straight face.
Bonnie shook her head, giving Jeremy an amused smile. "So... what was the last day that you remember like?" She asked conversationally.
"Unless you want to talk about trying to kill me first?" Jeremy offered, glancing at Bonnie who widened her eyes at him.
"I tried to kill you?" Enzo asked, blinking.
"Yeah, but don't feel bad about it. Everyone else who tried also failed." Jeremy shrugged.
Bonnie laughed. Enzo just stared at Jeremy with wide eyes, too shocked to draw any reassurance from Bonnie's reaction.
"He's joking, right?" He asked, struck by the thought, glancing at Bonnie with sincere hope of finding confirmation in her eyes.
"Kind of," Bonnie allowed, squinting.
Enzo shot a quick look at Jeremy who just slowly but firmly shook his head. But because Bonnie laughed again, Enzo wasn't sure what to really make of all of this.
"Do you have any siblings?" Bonnie asked, trying to restart a civilized conversation.
"I have three sisters," Enzo replied with a small smile, but then frowned. "They are all dead by now, aren't they."
"But there's a big chance you have lots of great-great-great-great-great nephews all over the world," Jeremy said, glancing around the lake, his eyes lingering on the house for a few seconds. "We could move in here," he said, looking back at Bonnie who gave him a surprised look. "I don't think Damon likes this place at all, so they wouldn't want to be coming down here with Elena very often. We could have it all for ourselves."
Shaking her head in amusement, Bonnie smiled. "That's a very thoughtful analysis of the situation."
"I'm just saying."
"What time is it?" Bonnie suddenly asked, grabbing Enzo's hand to check his watch. "Where is my phone?"
"Probably in your backpack," Jeremy said with a small smile. "It wouldn't work on the lake anyway."
Bonnie sighed. "We have to go back. I'm waiting for an important call from... someone about... something," she said a little cryptically. Jeremy arched an eyebrow at her, but she just shrugged, stifling a smile.
"Oh, you don't have to be so precise," Jeremy said, squinting and pushing on the oars a little harder to turn the boat around.
Bonnie laughed. "If you must know. I made up my own spell based on that chapter with swapping spells from Esther's grimoire." She straightened up and after drawing a breath added. "I'm going to try turning Damon into a vampire."
Enzo raised his eyebrows. All these conversations about magic were most disturbing, but also rather fascinating.
"What?" Jeremy widened his eyes at Bonnie. "But he can't be turned-"
"He can't be turned, but that's not going to be a regular transition. It's a swapping spell. That's why I need a vampire who wants to be a human again. And I asked someone to consider this... offer. The spell will simultaneously turn a vampire into a human and a human into a vampire."
"Sounds like a scientific breakthrough," Enzo observed and Jeremy shot him a grim look, because Bonnie seemed very happy about receiving a positive comment on her announcement. "Could you turn me into a human?"
Bonnie blinked, a little caught off guard by the question. "Well, I think we should restore your memories first. I don't think you can make a valid decision while you're missing three hundred years worth of memories," she said with a small smile.
"Wait," Jeremy interrupted her, shaking his head. "Bonnie. So whom do you want to turn into a human?"
Bonnie smiled. "Someone who used to be quite determined to take the cure."
xxxdelenaxxx
He had actually expected her to get even more upset or laugh, but instead, Elena just thrust her chin in a defiant manner, threw a laconic: "OK. I will." at him and stormed back into the car, leaving Damon to just stare after her for a while, before he made his way back to the car without feeling the ground under his feet, hearing the engine when he turned it on or seeing the road in front of him for the next two hours while they continued driving to Georgia in complete silence.
By the time they were getting close to Atlanta he almost began wondering if she'd heard him correctly... or if he'd understood her answer correctly... or if he'd even asked the question out loud in the first place...
"You don't have any pictures of me in your phone," Elena said at last after a few minutes of fumbling with his phone, her voice way more casual than the situation warranted.
Damon shifted his eyes to her, trying to guess if she was joking, but Elena's expression was serious or unreadable at best and he couldn't quite decide what she was thinking. "I only have this phone since yesterday."
Her eyes on the screen, Elena shrugged, as if to signal that she didn't consider it a good enough explanation.
Turning his eyes back to the road, Damon watched her out of the corner of his eye for a few seconds. "I don't need any pictures," he said brusquely, noting that despite trying not to make it show, this clearly caught Elena's attention and she stiffened, waiting for him to elaborate. "I have you, all of you, memorized by heart," he said and Elena's eyelids fluttered, but then she almost dropped his phone when he added. "I have kissed every square inch of your body hundreds of times."
Elena's eyes darted to him. "Are you trying to intimidate me?"
Damon gave her an incredulous look. "I thought you wanted to know everything?"
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Thank you for telling me, but that is something I already figured on my own."
Damon couldn't help a smirk that lit up his eyes for a second. "Really?"
Elena looked away from him, her cheeks flushed. "Stop it. We're not married yet," she said haughtily, biting back a chuckle.
Damon drew a breath and averted his eyes from her as well, shivers running up his spine at her bringing that subject up and by doing so confirming that he hadn't just imagined their exchange from two hours ago.
"Having second thoughts?" Elena asked, arching an eyebrow, trying to decipher the expression on his face.
"Me?" Damon widened his eyes at her. "No. You?"
"No," Elena said resolutely, fidgeting slightly in her seat. "Turn right."
"Why?" Damon asked, quite sure it wasn't the right exit-
"There's a jewelry store 25 miles from here, right outside of Atlanta," she said in a perfectly composed voice and Damon's eyes moved to her and only then he noticed that she was using his phone to look at maps and driving directions.
"We have to get the wedding rings somewhere, right?" She said, almost snapped and Damon didn't know if what was happening right now was perfectly normal or utterly confusing or both.
Theoretically, he knew she couldn't be really upset, regardless of what the tone of her voice suggested, because if she was, she wouldn't be going through with... this, with... marrying him.
Marrying him. The words echoed in his head along with his heartbeat and he wondered if it just felt to him as if each of his movements was happening in slow motion or if it really was the case.
He almost asked Elena about it, but when he looked at her after parking the car in front of the jewelry store he noticed with inner exhilaration that her hands were shaking when she reached out to open the door and get out of the car.
Not daring to smile in an open manner, he got out of the car as well and followed her into the store in which they must've made the most memorable impression snapping at each other, snorting derisively, arguing and huffing while choosing an engagement ring and trying on wedding rings and finally wishing for the ones they chose to be prepared immediately.
"Well, I'm afraid-" The jeweler started with a strained, polite smile, but he didn't have a chance to finish formulating his explanation as to why such a prompt service wasn't possible.
Damon leaned toward Elena and whispered something in her ear, her hands curling up into fists, nails digging into her skin when his lips touched her ear, which was completely gratuitous, because she was quite certain that it would've been possible for him to whisper in her ear without kissing it.
Leaning a little over the counter, Elena caught the jeweler's gaze and feeling just a tiny bit awkward compelled him to prepare wedding rings for them - within half an hour. Sharp.
"Nice touch," Damon said with a smirk, looking her up and down.
Elena gave him a fleeting look. "Stop devouring me with your eyes," she said matter-of-factly, watching the jeweler disappear at the back of the store to adjust the sizes of their wedding rings.
"Oh, but that works both ways," Damon said, surprising her a little by suddenly beginning to play along, sneaking his arm around her waist and pulling her hard against his chest.
"I'm not-"
Elena started, but then his lips crashed onto hers and he took his time kissing her very slowly and thoroughly before gently releasing her and walking off to start casually examining all the glass cabinets in the store.
xxxdelenaxxx
"That is so fun!" Caroline clapped her hands, glancing around the stage and the audience, quite amazed that she was able to compel all of the actors and all of the theater guests at the same time.
Klaus returned her smile with a gleeful smirk on his own, clasping his hands behind his back and watching her run around the stage and checking if every person in here was really going to say and do only what she'd tell them to.
"That's debatable," Alaric mumbled with a frown, not thrilled by Klaus' methods of easing Caroline and Stefan into the reality of being vampires.
At least Stefan seemed fairly skeptical about most of it, but in case of Caroline Alaric was rather glad that she'd have her memories back in a couple of days and then hopefully resume a more reasonable and less enthusiastic approach to going to restaurants and munching on waiters instead of food, zooming across multi-level highways and compelling crowds.
Alaric glanced at Stefan who seemed more interested in the theater interiors than vampire tricks and was standing near the edge of the stage, looking around with a wistful expression on his face.
And only then Alaric suddenly realized, that for all of Klaus' rather repulsive ideas, he'd somehow managed to achieve something surprisingly positive: erase the fear of taking human lives, the fear that both Caroline and Stefan had been overcome by almost immediately after they had turned. They'd both made their first kills very soon, driven by confusing, overpowering thirst. In a way, it had been that fear that overshadowed their beginnings as vampires, but now, at least for the time being, it was no longer true. Now both Caroline and Stefan didn't seem to associate being vampires with violence and death and Alaric wondered if that'd affect them in any way once they'd get their memories back.
Shifting his eyes from Stefan to Klaus, Alaric also couldn't help noticing that he seemed to be sincerely enjoying himself, as if the relative simplicity of the moment, the fact that he was being of help and that he was making Caroline smile and Stefan behave without a trace of his ripper-y tendencies was actually making him happy in a very... human way.
But perhaps there was nothing too surprising about it, Alaric thought, his eyes lingering on one of the plush seats that reminded him of a couch, the first piece of furniture that Isobel had bought for their apartment. When he'd become a vampire, the memory of what she'd told him and then compelled him to forget before disappearing from his life forever had returned to him and it kept coming back to him ever since.
Perhaps there truly weren't any vampires, any people in the world that were truly evil.
"But if I sing and they'll clap... I won't actually know if they're clapping because they like my singing or because they're compelled to clap," Caroline observed a little dejectedly, pursing her lips.
Klaus didn't really have an answer to that.
"You can compel them to react the way they really feel," Stefan offered, although he immediately thought that perhaps he should wait with suggesting that, because while this girl was very beautiful and stunningly vivacious, there was no way to tell if she could sing until she'd actually start singing.
"That's a great idea!" Caroline exclaimed happily.
Alaric leaned against the wall and looked pensively around the stage.
Perhaps everyone could be saved, if only there was someone out there willing to help with the saving.
xxxdelenaxxx
The wedding ceremony was brief... although not as brief as it could've been if they weren't stuttering and stammering while saying the vows, unwittingly beginning to speak at the same time, if Elena didn't keep dropping her wedding bouquet, Damon didn't keep picking it up, their hands didn't keep colliding and their kiss didn't last for longer than it was appropriate.
They walked out of the church holding hands and without discussing it, they started wandering around Atlanta, looking at everything with great interest as if they were avid tourists visiting the city for the first time. They were even exchanging some casual comments and observations and it was only when their eyes would meet from time to time that some kind of a hidden understanding would pass between them, their fingers intertwining so hard they couldn't tell which fingers belonged to whom. But then they'd quickly look away again and continue acting as if they were on some kind of an ordinary excursion.
They came back for the camaro a couple of hours later and drove to the hotel where upon entering the room, Elena, without a word, headed straight for the shower.
When she got out, she put on her pajamas and with a generic "good-night" tucked herself into bed without commenting either way on the fact that there was only one bed in the room.
Or on the fact that it was technically their wedding night.
Not really knowing what to make of this, Damon went to take his shower and half-hoped for Elena to sneak into the bathroom a moment later... but she didn't.
When he walked out of the bathroom, the room was almost completely dark, except for several faint rays of light seeping into it through the window, illuminating Elena's form on the bed. She was lying on her side with one hand under her cheek, her hair falling over her back and shoulder, her breathing even.
Having untied the towel from around his waist, Damon put it away before sliding under the bed cover next to Elena who shifted in her sleep and muttered something incoherent.
Turning onto his side, without really thinking about it, Damon reached out and brushing a lock of hair off her neck, he pushed the strap of her top off her shoulder, marveling inwardly at how naturally composed into the flowery pattern on the back of her top the strands of her hair looked.
He propped himself on his elbow and after a few moments of just looking at her, he leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her shoulder. Very carefully, he stroked her hair, smiling faintly and then turned onto his back and watched the lights of the cars passing outside mingle with the shadows on the ceiling.
But not even a minute passed, before he heard a muffled noise and he froze at the immediate thought that Elena was crying.
He held his breath, straining his ears as much as possible and becoming, with every passing second more and more certain that she was sobbing. No doubt it suddenly dawned on her what had happened, what she had done, that she'd actually married him-
And Damon didn't even dare to shift his eyes to her when he heard and felt Elena toss herself onto her back next to him, her hair falling onto his arm.
Then the same muffled noise resounded again and he blinked at the startling realization that she wasn't crying.
She was giggling.
Damon blinked and with a confused frown, he abruptly turned his head, his eyes darting to Elena's face in alarm. Because laughter wasn't necessarily much better than weeping... although of course he didn't really think that the fact that they were lying together in bed was as bad as to warrant her going so mad that she'd start laughing hysterically from despair.
"Elena?"
She chuckled under her breath again, but then she turned her head and looked at him, her eyes sparkling rather joyously in the semi-darkness of the room, her expression clearly amused, although Damon couldn't imagine what could possibly put her in such a jolly mood.
"I just thought..." she chuckled again, stirring under the sheets and pushing the cover off her a little, so it was only covering the lower parts of her legs that weren't covered by her short shorts. "That it's like... that it's as if we were in an arranged marriage and-" she giggled and brushed her hair off her face. "And we know what's going to happen, but we kind of behave like it doesn't have to happen, because we don't know each other very well and it's all a little awkward and strange."
Damon's frown deepened, his eyes wandering all over Elena's face in increasing bafflement. For a moment he also entertained the thought of checking if she didn't have a fever. "I'm not sure I'm enjoying the metaphor."
Elena rolled her eyes and turned onto her side, tucking a pillow under her cheek. "You know what I mean."
Damon mirrored her movements and tucked his pillow under his head as well, rolling onto his side to face her. "I'm afraid I don't. We most certainly don't have to do anything," he said, putting almost a hurt look onto his face.
But somehow his attitude didn't seem to ruin Elena's mood in the slightest. "What's happened to your sense of humor?" She asked with a smile flickering across her face, her eyes scanning his face with intensity that seemed to him both new and endlessly familiar.
"I'm sorry if I don't find much humor in you feeling like you've been forced into marrying me."
Elena sighed, amusement not leaving her face or voice even for a second. She poked Damon lightly on the shin with her foot. "Don't start again. I just realized how funny it really is that we're acting so timid around each other, that's all."
She propped herself on her elbow and caught him completely off guard by pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Damon just continued staring at her with a frown on his face and Elena bit her lip, stifling a laugh.
"Kisses on the cheek don't count, do they? Duly noted. See if I can make any improvements," she said, squinting and then anchoring her hand on his shoulder, she pressed her lips to his for a few enchanting seconds before drawing back and resuming her position of lying on the back and looking up.
"I really liked the Swan House," she said after a pause, apparently thinking back to their tour around the city, although it took Damon a good minute to realize that, his mind reeling from the mere fact that her leg was casually draped over his under the cover.
Not being quite sure what she was doing or what was happening, Damon blinked repeatedly and then slowly returned to lying on his back as well, doing his best to breathe as quietly as possible, despite his lips feeling as if Elena's mouth was still touching his.
They were both silent for a few moments and Damon didn't even remember how or when he'd put his hand in such a way that it was lying on the bed along his side and he noticed it only when he felt Elena's hand touch his.
He instinctively looked down, watching her hand in wonder for a few seconds, but wonder morphed into complete amazement when he was struck by the realization of what moment she was recreating by grasping his hand, turning it over and carefully grazing his fingers with hers.
Slowly, Damon moved his eyes from their joined hands to Elena's face. She was still lying on her back, but her head was turned, her eyes waiting to lock with his the moment he finally looked at her.
His first thought was to kiss her, but somehow he managed to do the opposite and disentangling his hand from hers, he sat up and turned away from her.
And he didn't need to look at her to imagine the expression on her face.
"What are you doing?" Elena whispered with the faintest trace of trepidation in her voice.
Making the greatest effort to regain his composure and keep his voice as indifferent as possible, Damon replied calmly. "I'm going to storm out of the room and dash across the hallway. Not very far, but still."
Elena blinked, but then she burst out laughing. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder.
Slowly, he lifted his hand and placed it over hers, clasped together on his chest. Tilting his head to the side he looked at her and was a little worried when she didn't retain the eye-contact with him, but drew back instead.
He turned around to face her – but then all of his worries were swept away.
"I don't feel like I woke up to a nightmare," Elena said quietly, drawing a shaky breath and bracing herself in a determined, ardent way that must've shown in her eyes, because Damon looked at her with a sudden glimpse of cautious, intense alertness in his gaze. "Do you want to know what I feel?" Her lips trembled and she laughed inwardly, frightened, thrilled by the oddest impression that when he was looking at her lips it almost felt as if he was kissing her.
"Imagine that there was a place," Elena continued after a pause, not knowing what she was going to say and if it'd even make any sense. She just tried to think of the most accurate way of translating her feelings into words, even if it was going to sound rather strange. "A mysterious, beautiful place that would take your breath away every time you'd think of it. And sometimes... sometimes at all times you'd wish for nothing more than to travel to that place, make it your home, but... It was a dangerous place. And so, so far away." Elena's voice faltered and Damon's breath caught in his throat at the sight of tears welling up in her eyes. "And you weren't brave enough to go there, strong enough to undertake that journey, ready to leave everything behind. So you... so you'd try very hard not to think of that place and sometimes it'd even seem that it'd be alright, that you didn't really need to go there...You could live without really living. Smile without feeling really happy. You could do it all. But then the pain would come. It'd come every time, when you'd think you were going to be OK... because being OK actually hurt most, because you could never be truly OK, not until you'd get to that place that you'd never, could never go to-"
"Elena-" Gently, Damon tried to cut in, because her voice was growing feverish.
But she shook her head, wordlessly asking him not to interrupt her and continued with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"And one day, you'd wake up and... and suddenly you're there. You'd wake up and you'd be in that place. That is how I feel. I don't feel like I woke up in a nightmare. I feel like I woke up in a dream."
Damon stared at her, not a muscle in his face moving, but when she started wiping the tears off her face with the backs of her fingers, he caught her hands and squeezing them hard and caressing in his he hastily pulled her toward him.
"Elena-"
"I don't know when I fell in love with you," she whispered on an impulse and he seemed to stop breathing altogether. "And I might've never said it, but... I remember so many moments when you'd just... sneak up on me. When for a second, I just wouldn't know what was happening. All those moments torn out of time. Like our dance at the pageant. Like when you were poisoned with werewolf venom. Like that night when you came to my room after we'd come back from Tennessee or that evening after the homecoming ball or in Denver. I wasn't planning on kissing you during that trip. I hope you've never thought that. If anything I was planning on not kissing you," she chuckled brokenly. "It just happened. It'd always happen whenever we were close. I'd feel so overwhelmed, overcome by something indescribable." Elena fell silent for a few moments and then continued in a low, wistful voice. "And I was frightened. I didn't want to feel something that could... that could control me in such a way, that could... destroy me if I'd ever lose it. It was just more than I could bear to feel and I've never even dared, didn't know how to put that feeling into words, because it was so unlike anything I've ever felt before. I didn't know if it was right or wrong. All I knew was that it was the most real thing that I've ever felt in my entire life. And it scared me. But something has changed, I can feel it, and now I'm not scared anymore. And it feels right. It's right," Elena smiled again, recalling the words and wondering if she was recalling even more words than she could recognize, because her every sentence seemed to astound Damon even more, any shadows of uncertainty lifting off his gaze. "I feel happy and free and more alive than ever."
She trailed off and laughed soundlessly against his lips when he kissed her, hot tears cooling under her closed eyelids and for a moment she felt like she knew it all, without being told, all the memories, all their moments together so clear, ingrained in the imperious yet consummately gentle way his lips molded against hers, in which his arms wrapped around her, pulling her close, his hands tender on her face, lost in her hair, impatient on her skin.
Placing her open palms on his chest she reluctantly broke the kiss and looked at him through half-lidded eyes, her breath ghosting across his skin.
"Alright," she said, surreptitiously trying to catch her breath and to Damon's bafflement scooting deeper onto the bed and positioning herself with her back against the headboard. "Now you can tell me about everything."
Damon blinked. "Now?" He echoed blankly and it took all of Elena's willpower not to laugh. "But... it's... it's our wedding night," he said a little helplessly.
Elena shrugged. "Well, it is, but..." She drew a breath, fumbling with the lacy hem of her top, "You could've told me everything during the car ride. But since you didn't, we need to talk about it right now."
She looked at him unblinkingly, for some reason feeling that the moment she blinked, she'd start laughing, because the expression on Damon's face was utterly amusing.
With a stifled, resigned groan he sat on the bed next to her. "When you woke up after the accident-"
"Unless you promise to tell me everything tomorrow," Elena cut him off before he managed to finish the very first sentence.
Damon's lips twitched into a lopsided smile and he immediately pulled Elena back into his arms.
"I promise," he whispered, showering her face with kisses.
She laughed under her breath, but then cupped his face in her hands and looked at him thoughtfully, the words echoing in her head in a way that made her feel like there was something more to them, something terrifying yet beautiful that she couldn't name.
Damon placed his hands on either side of Elena's face and repeated the words that he knew she couldn't remember, not in their most grievous context, but there was something in her expression that told him that she understood them exactly, could feel their bittersweet weight, their timelessness and the all-encompassing truth enclosed in them.
Sliding her arms around him, Elena nestled her face in Damon's neck while he buried his in her hair, cradling her to him.
"I promise you."