Chapter 17

sian pov

I entered the dining room with Kathy right behind me. I saw that Sophie was already at the table and stopped abruptly, Kathy bumped into me from behind. "Fuck sakes Sian" she mumbled as she saw who I was staring at in awe.

I went and sat opposite of Sophie.

"Hi" I said. She grinned at me.

"Any good" I said as I looked at her food.

She nodded forcefully taking another bite out of her food. We kept our eyes on each other through lunch.

"Do you want me to vomit now while your eye fucking each other or wait until you two actually start shagging in front of me" Kathy growled by the end of lunch.

"Whatever you prefer my darling" I joked at her.

She groaned and got up.

As Kathy exited the dining room, Gertie entered. I gulped as she was giving me the evil eye.

"Are you almost finished" I said to Sophie wanting to get out of the dining room.

She frowned and nodded slowly.

"Great, let's go then" I said quickly as she frowned even harder looking at my full plate.

"I'm not hungry, come on, you can drink that in the living room" I said dragging her as she was still holding her glass to the living room checking that no one was following us.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

"Sian" she said nudging me as she was took a sip out of her drink.

I pursed my lips looking down. "Gertie saw us last night" I said quietly as she almost spit out her drink.

She looked at me in shock. "She wants me to go and see her sometime today" I continued.

Before she could say anything Gertie entered. "Ah Sian just the person I was looking for" she cheered.

I gulped and looked at Sophie who was now fiddling with her hands.

"You mind coming with me to Dr. Wittmore's office" Gertie said.

"Why?" I panicked.

"I just want to talk to you, don't worry he's not in" she said calmly. I sighed and looked at Sophie.

"I'll see you later" I said. She nodded anxiously.

…

"Right uh so what did you want to talk to me about" I asked Gertie as she narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, I dunno, maybe you spending the night in somebody else's bed." she said sarcastically.

"Look she was upset, I just fell asleep in her bed okay?" I rambled.

She chuckled "Sian we both know, that it wasn't just that" she said.

"Look pet, I know you mean well, but Sophie can't have someone in her life coming in the way of her treatment and vice versa. That's the whole reason we have that rule" she said.

"I'm not coming in the way" I snapped.

"I know you care for her and I can see she cares for you as well. But it's not because you don't mean to get in the way that you don't. She tried explaining, but I still wasn't buying this.

"It's because she's a girl isn't it" I growled crossing my arms.

"Of course not! But do you seem to have forgotten last time we were at this point" she stated.

I huffed. "NO! I haven't forgotten. But Sophie's different from Mary; we help each other by just being there for each other. It's different" I tried.

"Really, because I seem to remember having a similar conversation about a year ago" she stated. I started tapping my foot nervously.

"Sian, when you broke it off with her. It went from bad to worse" Gertie said angrily.

"I know, but… I didn't…" I started stuttering. 'Love her' I thought.

"Tell me what's so different about this situation to last year's." She asked me.

I furrowed my brows and lend back into my chair.

"Exactly" she stated "Look I don't mind you being friends, but nothing more okay" she said.

I pursed my lips and nodded slowly.

"Do I have your word that you won't do anything with her and by that I'm mean any kind of sexual relation; kissing, shagging, oral sex, …" she started saying.

"Yeah all right I get the picture, you have my word" I said wide-eyed as I shifted uncomfortably.

"Okay, than you may go" she said leading me out of the office.

I sighed in defeat. "Maybe she's right, I mean what was so different about my possible relationship with Sophie and how it started out with Mary" I wondered.

"Gertie's right, I can't do this to Sophie" I thought

….

Sophie pov

I was lying on my bed thinking of the events of last night… and this morning.

I smiled at the thought of kissing Sian again. "But Gertie saw us, what the fuck are we gonna do. Well we haven't done anything really. And it's not like we can break up or summit since we're not really a couple" my mind was ranting as I heard Sian snapping at one of the girls in the hallway.

"She's back" I thought as I hurried myself out of my room. I saw her going into her room.

I knocked on her door. "Go away whoever it is, I really don't wanna see anybody right now" she shouted. I was kind of taking aback by her actions, but I went in anyway.

"Sian?" I said quietly as I peeped my head through the door opening.

Her eyes fell upon me. "Soph" she sighed.

"What happened?" I asked her as she got up and closed the door behind me.

"She knows about us…. Whatever we are" she mumbled. I gulped

"She does" I said looking at her biting the side of my lip.

She sighed. "Soph, don't look at me like that. And don't bite your lip it drives me crazy" she yammered as she dropped herself onto her bed.

I sniggered. "Yeah well you wearing that baggy sweatshirt drives me crazy" I said making my way over to her. "But you don't see me lying on my bed, whining to my girlf…" I stopped immediately with what I was about to say.

She sat up quickly and looked me in the eyes. "Your…?" she said anxiously.

"Friend" I said slowly.

"That's not what I heard" she said still looking very serious.

"Well then you need your ears tested ay" I said quickly trying to get rid of the subject.

"Uhm have you seen Kathy I let her borrow my notebook…" I started saying.

"Don't change the subject" she snapped. I was looking at the flour trying to avoid her eyes.

"Look we're gonna have to talk about this sometime" she said gesturing at the space between us.

She lifted my chin; I was now looking in her eyes. "We've kissed, and it was nice…" she stated.

"At least I thought it was…but" she muttered turning away from me. I felt guilty, "I did like it, a lot." I thought.

"Uuuughhh" I groaned. "I liked it too, okay" I said to her as she turned back to me.

"And I also like you, a lot …okay" I added as I swallowed hard.

Her lips curled into a smile. "I like you too… a lot" she said.

"But...we can't do anything about though" she said softly. I frowned "why not" I thought.

"I want to, I do. Trust me I want you so bad…" she stated as I started blushing.

"I just… if we'd get caught… I tried to convince Gertie… but maybe she's right my track record with these kinds of things isn't really clean now is it" she said sadly. "And what if it doesn't work out and we'll end up hurting each other even more… and we'd both might get worse than we already are…." she rambled on.

"So what do you wanna do" I said blankly interrupting her.

"I don't know, I mean I want you in my life. We could try and be mates?" she said carefully.

"I think my heart just stopped for a minute" I thought.

"Okay" I replied.

"Okay? Just like that, you don't find this somewhat hard" she pouted as she sat closer to me.

I smiled sadly and turned my head to my side. "Sian of course I find it hard, all I wanna do right now is" I breathed. I couldn't take it any longer I wanted to kiss her so badly.

"I know" she said understanding what I meant. "Me too".

We we're so closing in on each other, I could feel her breath on my lips. "We can't do this" she whispered.

"I know" I breathed.

As I was about to lean in Kathy burst through the door. We jumped apart so quickly I almost fell of Sian's bed.

"Am I interrupting summit" she asked suspiciously.

"No, no" Sian started saying as she took my hand and squeezed it.

She sighed. "Mates?" she whispered looking straight at me as I nodded slowly. "Mates" I thought as I got up.

"Oh, leaving already." Kathy asked. I nodded "Oh Sophie wait before I forget, your notebook" she said handing it over to me. I put up a smile and walked out of the room. "Thanks" I heard her yell.

"Mates" I kept saying over and over again in my mind.