So, slowly, haltingly, Jenny began recounting her nightmare. The instant panic from the moment he grabbed her, waking up in a pitch black room and realizing with horror that she was both restrained and completely naked. Hearing a voice out of the darkness tell her what she had to look forward to, that she was his now and they were going to have a good time.

The pauses in-between Jenny's thoughts got longer as she told Kristyn in a very empty voice about the first time he attacked her, remembered the bruises and forceful slaps she got for struggling. How she was forced to kiss him when she wanted to kill him. The sickening feel of his hands on her body. She thought of the tears she could not stop and the screams that no one else could hear. Then there was all the seconds in-between the first attack and the last. Hungry and thirsty, her lips cracked for lack of moisture and her body was always sore. Jenny had never know it could hurt so much.

Closing her eyes, Jenny felt again how humiliated she had been when he dressed her like a doll, untying one hand and then the other, but giving her no way to fight back and laughing when she tried. Being hog-tied and shoved in the other room, wondering how long it would be until she died. And then her shock at discovering that she was not his only victim. She thought of how she'd lain there on that bed and wished she believed in God, because He might've saved her and maybe she would be meeting Him soon. Uncomfortable and still helpless, she'd counted seconds for over an hour before there was a commotion, loud voices and yelling. And then the door to the room had burst open and she'd cried in relief when she saw the faces of her deliverers.

Tony had cut her ropes while Ziva released the other women. Then the sight of Special Agent Gibbs dragging the man away in handcuffs as he leered at her, and asking how long it had been. McGee was the one who answered. "Forty hours Director. You were missing for almost two days."

There was silence in the small room after that, except the sound of pen on paper as Kristyn rapidly jotted notes. Finally she set her pad aside and eyed the trembling woman in front of her. "Jenny, that was very brave what you did, remembering it all and I want to thank you for honouring me with your trust. What you went through, it's a lot. I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be just fine now. But I'm going to be very honest, because I want you to know what to expect." She put her hand on Jenny's shoulder. "Things will get better, I promise. But it won't be this week and it probably won't be this month. The next couple of days will be hard because now that you've remembered and gone through it again, you will dream about it."

Jenny tensed. The dream, the nightmare from the first night, had been bad enough and now there would be more? This psyche eval was supposed to help...how again? she wondered.

Kristyn continued. "There is no deadline to be over something like this. This is a recovery and there is a process so please, don't feel like you have to push it. One of the most important things right now is to have people around who can support you and help you get through this. Do you have people in your life that will be willing to help?"

Jenny bit her lip, debating. Finally she made the decision and nodded. "My husband."

"Oh," Kristyn looked surprised, "you're married? I didn't realize. Is Sheppard your married name?"

"No, I keep my maiden name for work. And I'd appreciate your discretion, we're not really announcing that we're married."

"Of course," Kristyn nodded, scribbling a few more notes. "Now, this is a good thing because you already have that built in support. But in some ways being married can make this whole process more complicated."

"Yeah," Jenny laughed sadly, "I'm already figuring that out."

"More about that in a minute," the psychiatrist declared. "Okay, it's been two days since you were rescued. How have you been doing?"

Jenny spread her hands innocently. "I don't suppose 'fine' is the answer you're looking for?"

Kristyn shook her head. "Not quite. Tell me about your days and nights. Have you been sleeping, eating, having nightmares? Do you find yourself nervous or tense all the time? Are you angry, afraid, suffering from headaches or nausea?"

Jenny hated how clinical the assessment sounded, like all of a sudden her life could be boiled down to a few check marks on the right people of paper and fixed with a description. But she supposed they were fair questions.

"I'm sleeping alright I guess, but I'm tired all the time. I have a constant, mild headache behind my eyes. A few nightmares, well, actually only one that I can remember, but it feels like they're lurking in the dark, waiting for me whenever I fall asleep. "She made a face. "I haven't been eating much since I got back, my stomach is always unsettled."

Jenny rubbed her eyes, feeling suddenly like all the energy had been sucked from her body and she might fall asleep right there.

"I get tense whenever I think about those two days and I'm nervous half the time when Jethro touches me." She shook her head. "And I've been trying to fight with my poor husband every time he tires to help. But other than that, I'm just great, thanks."

Kristyn noted Jenny's sarcasm and didn't blame her. "Have you and your husband talked at all about what happened?"

Jenny shrugged her shoulders. "A little, my first night back. He's been great though, very patient and gentle with me. And he did the interrogation, so he probably learned more than he wanted to know."

Kristyn nodded, still taking notes on her pad of paper. She could hear the hope in Jenny's voice that maybe it wouldn't be necessary to tell her husband the details because of what he already knew. "I probably don't have to tell you this Jenny, but for now the last thing you're going to feel like is being intimate in any way with your husband. In fact, I'm going to advice that you do not even try to resume your physical relationship with your husband until you can talk to him about your experience." She raised an eyebrow in Jenny's direction. "Have the two of you talked about being intimate or tried anything yet?"

Jenny felt her face heat. That information was no one's business but hers and Jethro's. "Umm...no. I doubt he's even thinking about it right now. He's being very careful with me but I can sense his frustration and his hurt when I don't want to be touched."

"Touching is one thing that may take you awhile to be comfortable with again Jenny," Kristyn cautioned. "As a couple you should make time for that, for you to touch each other. None of the intimate areas of course, just normal touching. Fine out what your triggers are, what does he do that makes you flashback? But don't feel like you need to be okay with anything you don't feel comfortable doing, even though you know he wants to be close to you."

Kristyn glanced at the clock. "Our time is up for today Jenny, but I'm going to recommend you for regular therapy sessions twice a week for the first month and once a week after that. Also, I think it would be helpful if you and your husband could come in for some shared therapy sessions. Rape is something both partners need to heal from." She wrote down what she'd said and gave the paper to Jenny. "I'll call your office tomorrow and we can set up those additional sessions and we can also talk about today's session once I've gone over it again."

Kristyn stood, so Jenny did as well, feeling the end a bit abrupt when she'd just spilled her guts to this woman, but she was also anxious to be out of the room. Jenny offered her hand. "Thank you Kristyn."

The woman smiled. "You don't feel it yet, but you will later. Trust me." She rested her hand on Jenny's arm. "We'll get you through this Jenny. Just take it slow."

Jenny nodded and walked out of the office. As she made her way back to her floor, Jenny felt vulnerable, like all her armour had been stripped away and everyone could see right through her. She avoided eye contact and didn't feel safe until she stepped foot into her outer office.

"Director," Cynthia looked up from her paperwork. "How did it go?"

Jenny's smile was anything but sincere. "It was very draining Cynthia. In fact," she made the decision on the spot, "I think I'm done for the day. I'm going to head home. Could you please find out where Special Agent Gibbs is Cynthia? Then page my security detail and ask them to meet me here in ten minutes."

"Of course Ma'am."