Chapter 22

Sian pov

I swallowed hard. "You know how I panic… sometimes" I asked her slowly.

"Yeah…. But last night was different though…. You didn't even recognize me at first" she said sadly.

I looked up as I kissed her neck and started tracing patterns on her arm. "I'm sorry you had to see that, but you're right last night was different" I said blankly.

"Please tell me…. I know you scared, but you can trust me…" she said as I interrupted her. I wanted to show her I did trust her.

"Soph… I have a panic disorder. I have panic attacks like you saw before, but last night was a full on episode" I blurted out, my breathe was getting heavier.

"Oh" she said softly. "Why didn't you tell me" she asked as I let out a small chuckle.

"Because I was scared… because it never seemed the right time…. I dunno how long do you got?" I joked.

She chuckled and kissed my head. "What happened last night" she asked slowly.

"You saw what happened" I replied quickly

"Sian" she sighed. "I meant before that, what happened that gave you an episode" she stated.

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply as I pulled my arm tighter around her waist.

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to" she said.

"No, I want to." I said as I felt her nod.

"I did a lot of things I'm not proud of…. When I was about 15, I hung out with the popular crowd of my school; I had a lot of friends….. And I was gay but I wasn't out at the time."

"Okay" Sophie slowly. "That's nothing to be ashamed of though." She added.

"No of course not, but…. I went out with guys and stuff anyway. There was this one guy, everybody thought he was a bit of geek, so I did too." I said as I saw her nodding.

I told her the story as it took me back myself.

"Hey Sian, the geek is staring at you again." Dora said. I looked behind me and saw him practically drooling over his lunch.

I groaned. "O god" I said embarrassed.

"O shit babes his coming over" Elena said to me.

"Hi" the boy said shyly.

I saw all my friends trying to control their laughter.

"Uhm, I've got these tickets to go to a concert, and I was wondering if you might…. Go with… me" he said as my eyes almost popped out of my head.

"Uhm, sorry I think I'm busy that day" I said quietly.

"But I haven't even told you the date" he stated as Dora answered him.

"It's because any date you'll tell her, she'll be busy." She smirked as the whole table started laughing at him.

"Oh right" he said hurt. I gave him a fake smile as he walked off.

"What was he thinking" Elena laughed.

"Yeah" I said nervously.

"What was who thinking" Dora's boyfriend said as he came to sit next to her.

"Some geek thought he'd have a chance with our Sian here" Dora answered.

"You better hope Darrin doesn't find out someone tried to take his woman" he joked.

"Oi, I am nobody's woman" I snapped as I saw Darrin walk off. "Oh Danny boy" he sang.

"The guy's name was Danny, at the time I didn't even bother to get to know him." I continued.

"Babe, that's just the way things go on during high school. You have the popular crowd and the… not so popular crowd, but people change. You were a kid, you…" she said as I interrupted her.

"Yeah but I didn't even gave him the time of day, I didn't talk to him or anything. I was horrible and it came to back and bit me in the ass." I stated.

"How do you mean" she asked.

"Danny, was bullied by Darrin and his friends. I suppose one day he just snapped. He brought….. a gun… to school." I said as I swallowed hard.

"What, shit you were in a school shooting" she asked as I nodded.

"Yeah and I was target number one" I joked, but I could see her eyes widening.

"Danny, he already shot a couple of my friends who were sitting at my table the day he asked me out" I said trying to hold in my tears.

"I tried to run but" I didn't notice I was shaking until Sophie pulled me closer and soothed me.

"It's okay you don't have to tell me everything, if it's too scary to talk about" she said.

"No I want to, I need to tell you this" I said sternly as tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"I was running towards the school library but he caught me" I said trying to stop shaking.

"It's okay I'm right here with you" she said calmly. I gulped.

"I eventually got shot in the stomach and ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks" I said slowly.

"You got shot" she asked baffled at my story.

"Yeah….." I mumbled.

"Sian, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I can't even begin to understand what…" she stuttered.

"You don't have, just please hold me… for a while." I said as I snuggled into her more.

She nodded and pulled me more into her.

…

Sophie pov

'Sophie Webster is requested in Dr. Wittmore's office' came through the speakers in the hallway.

I felt Sian looking up at me.

"I'll stay here, if you don't want me to go" I said to her.

"No, go. If he's requesting to see you now, it'll probably be important. You should go" she said sleepily.

"Are you sure" I asked her. I didn't really want to leave, I was scared she might get another attack if I left.

"Yeah, go. I'll be fine" she said as I pursed my lips.

"Okay, but I'm telling Kathy to come and sit with you" I said sternly.

"Soph, I don't need a babysitter" she snapped.

"Yeah, but it would make me feel more at ease if you did. So please just let me go get Kathy" I pleaded.

"Fine" she huffed.

…

As I entered Dr. W. office I saw he didn't notice me come in. "He's probably busy with something" I thought.

I cleared my throat. "Ah Sophie, come in. take a seat." He said happily.

"Now, you're probably wondering why I asked you here" he asked as I nodded.

"Well, Nurse Owens told me she heard you talk the other day" he stated. "O fucking hell" I thought.

"I just wanted to talk to you about that" I looked away from his gaze.

"Have you talked before or…" he asked but I still didn't make a move.

"You've become pretty close with Sian Powers I hear" he said as I started tapping my fingers nervously against the table.

"Look Sophie, if you're talking to her. I'd really like to know, you don't have to talk to me, or anybody else for that matter, but if you're talking to somebody I'd like to know about it." He said calmly.

I nodded.

"Yes? So you have been talking to her" he asked as I nodded again.

He smiled. "All right, thank you that was all I really wanted to know. You can go if you like, you can stay too. It's up to you"

I really wanted to get back to Sian so I got up and left the office. I arrived back at her room, but it was empty. I was starting to get nervous when I found my room empty too.

"Shit, where the fuck is she" I thought.

I searched all the rooms, but she was nowhere to be found. I finally found Kathy and sighed in relief.

"Hi" I said to her.

"Hey, Pinocchio" she said.

I furrowed my brows "What" I asked her.

"You know Pinocchio the puppet that didn't talk or anything and then magically started talking. I'm just trying out nick names" she grinned.

I laughed. "Have you seen Sian" I asked her.

"Uhm yeah she's in her room" she answered.

"No, she's not I've checked. I told you to stay with her." I snapped angrily.

"Wow don't get your knickers in a twist, she said she wanted to be alone" she stated.

"Kathy, she had a fucking panic attack last night, and you just left her" I yelled as I saw her expression becoming more anxious.

"I'm sorry, I thought…" she started rambling again. I sighed.

"It's okay, just help me look for her." I said as we started looking for her.

I ended up in the bathroom as Kathy entered. "Any luck" I asked as she shook her hand.

"Where is she, bloody hell I should've never left her alone" I said as I put my hands on the sink.

"She'll be fine, she'll probably show her face around dinnertime" she smirked.

"This isn't funny Kathy. She could be in real fucking trouble" I hissed.

"You know, does Sian know you swear this much. Because you really do" she stated as I rolled my eyes.

We heard one of the shower cubicles open and saw Sian reflection in the mirror.

"Rabbit, everybody swears a lot when they're around you. That's just the effect you have on…" she didn't have time to finish her sentence as I almost knocked her down by pulling her into a hug.

"People" she chuckled as she wrapped her arms around my back.

"Soph, it's okay. I'm fine" I laughed.

"I'm sorry I just thought…." I stopped midsentence as I notice she was only wearing a towel. I gulped as I looked down to her body.

"I'm up here" she whispered playfully. My face turned red as I laughed nervously.

"O god, get a room will ya" Kathy said as she stormed off.

We both burst out into a fit of giggles. I stopped giggling as she started stroking my cheek. Her hair was still wet, I could smell the shampoo she just used, and it was intoxicating.

I leaned in a placed a soft kiss on her lips. The kiss got heated as her hand travelled from my cheek to the back of my neck while she placed her other on my hip. I let her tong glide into my mouth as a snaked both of my arms around her waist and pulled her close. I stopped kissing her lips and started leaving traces of kisses on her jaw line. I heard a muffled moan when I started sucking right under her earlobe. "Soph" she breathed and tangled her hand in my hair. My hands started travel down to her bum and cupped it squeezing it lightly. She pushed me away gently "Sophie if you continue doing that I'll have to take another shower, and I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself of pulling you with me under the water." She sniggered.

I pulled away as her towel fell down in the left over water; I gasped my eyes not leaving hers as I turned around. "Shit" I said sheepishly as I covered my eyes.

She chuckled. "It's okay. It's wasn't a good towel anyway, it doesn't dry well. I can still feel parts of my body that are soaking wet." She whispered seductively.

"Sian" I squealed. She laughed even more. "I'm only joking… kind of "she smirked