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Chapter Thirty Nine

Everyone was buzzing with excitement as we ran around backstage, calling to each other, bashing into people and tripping over. The sounds of people shouting and singing mixed with the sounds of instruments being played and tuned.

I stood in the girls toilets, my hand shaking as I carefully applied eyeliner to my lower lid.

I had been three months since that day in the playground.

Three long months.

I never forgot what happened. Everything we went through was etched into my mind, especially Turpin.

I shuddered.

Sometimes I would have nightmares about what happened. I would wake up, my forehead sweating and my heart racing, screaming and crying. Sometimes I would throw up.

I threw up a lot, and in the end, I found out that I was pregnant. I knew I was going to have to abort it.

But the miscarriage saved me from doing so.

I shuddered again. Being pregnant with Turpin's baby...ugh.

I never told anyone what happened. I couldn't even get my head around it myself, not really.

The fact that I wasn't a virgin anymore was just scary.

I quickly finished off my eyeliner, adding a little flick on the side. That was Hannah's idea, as was the outfit.

I gave my hair a brush and then stopped to look at my reflection.

"You don't look like yourself." I whispered to myself.

It was true, though. I looked...completely different. I could barely recognize myself.

My hair was curled (again, Hannah's idea) but instead of a dress, I was now dressed in a pair of pink skinny jeans with a pink and black top, a simple blazer on top of that. After a long time of practising, I finally mastered the art of putting on eyeliner without looking like a racoon.

I couldn't help but grin as I knelt down and zipped up my biker boots, also suggested by Hannah. I guess the only say I had in the performance was the song choice, really.

Hannah was dressed almost identically, except her jeans were purple and the top was black and purple. But, like me, she wore heavy eyeliner (a lot heavier than mine) and a blazer.

"Amy!"

The door was flung open, and Hannah rushed in.

"Amy, are you ready? We're on in," Hannah checked her phone. "Shit! Five minutes! Hurry up!"

Chucking everything into my make up bag, I ran after Hannah into the classroom. We were assigned two classrooms. One for the girls and one for the boys.

I put my make up bag away and, after recieving many hugs and good luck wishes, followed Hannah backstage. The boys were already setting up their instruments.

"Hannah, Amy."

We both turned to see Jake behind us, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I just wanted to wish you both good luck...I know you'll do well."

"Aw, Jakey!" Hannah squealed, flinging her arms around Jake. He patted her on the back before practically jumping away from her.

"Yes, well, you'd better go."

I stood next to Hannah, bouncing up and down in excitement. I couldn't believe it, I was actually going to perform!

The lights slowly came on as the curtains opened. The audience stared at us, and I could see my Mum in the front row. Ben and Nellie were next to her, along with Granny and Granddad on Dad's side. They were all here to see me!

The music started, we were singing, people were clapping. It was all over before it had properly begun, but I had enjoyed every single moment of it!

I could see Mum standing up as we finished, her eyes shining with pride. I beamed at her before following Hannah off stage.

"WE DID IT!" Hannah screamed, running and jumping on Jake. Amazingly, he picked her up and spun her around. I laughed as I ran to the classroom, which was now empty. Everyone else was either backstage or in the toilets, getting ready.

I hummed to myself as I changed my jeans, top and blazer for my dress. It was plain pink with short sleeves and a flowy skirt that hung just above my knees. I gave my hair another brush before changing my boots for a pair of pumps.

I picked up my hand mirror and scrubbed off all my make up, leaving my face bare.

I paused, and then smiled. "You look so...young."

But I looked like myself.

My smile grew before I brushed my hair off my shoulders and leaving the classroom.

It wasn't until the end of the show that I was on again, and as I strode on, I couldn't help but feel nervous.

I paused in front of the microphone and swallowed as the music started.

"Green finch and linnet bird, nightingale, blackbird,
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate sitting in cages
never taking wing?" I sung softly, my eyes meeting Mum's. She was beaming at me.

"Outside the sky waits
beckoning!
Beckoning!
Just beyond the bars...
How can you remain
staring at the rain
maddened by the stars?"

"How is it you sing
anything?
How is it you sing?"

As the music played, I could see someone at the back of the hall...two people...

I squinted, but couldn't make them out...

"My cage has many rooms
damask and dark...
Nothing there sings,
not even my lark.
Larks never will, you know,
when they're captive.
Teach me to be more
adaptive.
Ah...
Green Finch, and Linnet Bird,
nightingale, blackbird,
teach me how to sing.
If I cannot fly...
Let me sing."

I finished the song happily, watching as everyone applauded. Grinning, I bowed and left the stage. My mind was still on the two figures in the back, though.

Everyone was singing and dancing in the classrooms as we changed. After hugging everyone and telling them they were fab, I picked up my bag and left.

Mum was waiting for me outside the hall; everyone else had gone to wait in the car. The moment I saw her, I began running and jumped into her open arms.

"Well done, baby! You were amazing!" Mum said, hugging me tight. I smiled.

"Thanks Mum!"

"Come on, I've got a surprise for you at home."

Mum ignored my questions as she took my hand and led me to the car. Everyone congratulated me and I thanked them, but zoned out during the car ride home. I was just thankful Granny and Granddad had their own car.

"What's my surprise?" I asked as we drove up to the house. Mum ignored me.

"Ben, Nellie."

I was very surprised when Ben took my bag from me and Nellie covered my eyes as I clambered out.

"What's going on?" I asked. Mum ignored me again, taking my hands and carefully leading me up the drive.

"Watch your step. Ok, take a big step up. Well done, not long now. Oops, careful. This way. And...stop."

I stopped, waiting impatiently.

"Nellie, you can take your hands off now."

As Nellie took her hands off -

"SURPRISE!"

I gasped; Mum had completely transformed the living room. A large banner hung on the wall with the words, "WELL DONE AMY!" painted on, there were streamers and ballons, Ben had brought down his expensive stereo set, a camping table was in the corner, party food piled on top and -

"YOU'RE BACK!"

I ran forwards and flung my arms around Mrs Lovett and Sweeney, who were stood in the middle of the room.

"You came back! It was you in the hall! You came back and you saw me and I can't believe you're here!"

Mrs Lovett chuckled. "We couldn't not see you again, love."

I smiled as I hugged her. "I'm so glad you came back!"

Mrs Lovett hugged me back and, when we broke apart, I turned to face Sweeney.

"You never said goodbye." I whispered.

"I know and...I'm sorry."

I swallowed, blinking back the tears that had sprung to my eyes. "It's alright. I forgive you."