A/N: Another chapter up and ready. I might post one more before calling it for today. We'll see, but be prepared.

As always, enjoy!

(L P.O.V)

"You two got about a half hour more of cuddling before Amane arrives from her photo shoot." Teri informed us after reading her text from the blonde.

I groaned, snuggling into Light's lap. "Right as I'm about to fall asleep for the first time in three weeks?"

Light giggled as he pet my head. "Go to sleep, Ryuzaki. I'll wake you when she arrives."

"Well now it's just fruitless." I mumbled. "There's no point in sleeping if I'm going to worry about Amane barging in at any given moment."

"Barging?" Light chuckled out. "She doesn't clomp around, unrefined and animalistic like Bigfoot."

"Really?" I asked as I opened an eye to look at him. "I couldn't tell with her thunder thighs making all that noise for her. Every day I can hear her coming and going from a mile away."

Teri and Tamlen had been munching on chips at the time and almost choked from laughter at what I'd said.

Light merely shook his head. "You are snarkier than usual tonight."

I ignored him and cuddled into his stomach, warming up and drifting in and out of sleep. The human being was the best pillow on earth.

It was Friday night once again and the Yagami household was once again the center of our hang out session. Takada had to work on homework, so she wouldn't be coming around quite yet. As for Misa, with her up and coming modeling career, she did whatever photo shoots she could before hanging out with us. However, since she still didn't know Light was taken, she still flirted and cuddled him. I wasn't much of a jealous type, but I felt more than territorial around Light when Misa or Takada was in the room.

For the moment though, I would enjoy my time with Light as much as I could.

"Hey, I've got a question for you, Ryuzaki." Tamlen spoke up.

I groaned in response. "Yes?"

"It's concerning the information around sex between two males…"

"And, just like that, I'm an only child." Teri spoke up before he could ask his question. "Seriously, Tam, don't ask about that with them. I'm too sure they don't want to answer those questions."

"Excuse me, but I'm asking Ryuzaki." He reiterated. "Not Light. Why would I even ask him? He's been saving himself for marriage. Good luck with that being gay and all, by the way Light."

The brunette shook his head. "Well obviously I may have to make some changes to my plans, now won't I."

I giggled. "That's adorable, Light, you saving yourself for marriage."

"Oh? And what's your excuse?" He challenged.

I blinked, looking up at him. "What are you talking about?"

He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Aren't you… you know…?"

"A virgin?" I questioned. "Light, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not a virgin."

A round of ooh's circled the room and Light paled a bit.

"Well, my plans just changed again." He said to himself.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked before thinking about it for a few moments. "Wait, did you mean…?"

I sat up to look him in the eye. "Light, look me in the eye and tell me what your plans were."

He blinked a few times before nervously answering. "Well… I kind of was hoping… you know…"

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow at him. "Light, I'm not jumping into bed with you anytime soon…"

"That's not what I meant!" He defended. "I just… I was hoping we'd be… you know… getting rid of our virginities together."

I was incredibly upset by how he'd worded that. "Getting rid of it? How on earth could you think like that?"

He shrugged. "I… I don't know…"

I got up from the floor and climbed onto the couch instead. "Light, I don't know that I want to be with someone who thinks 'getting rid' of their virginity is a good thing."

"Ryuzaki, come on!" He tried. "You know I don't mean it like that, it's just how it came out! But you've got to admit, it's a little embarrassing to be keeping your virginity for so long."

"No, it isn't!" I defended. "In fact I still wish I had mine! Instead I gave it away to someone who didn't even care about me! All he wanted was a one night stand and he never called me again! How absolutely stupid it was for you to think that something as precious as that, something you can barely find nowadays, is worthless enough to you to think getting rid of it would solve all your problems! If anything, you'd just be disgusted with yourself!"

I could see the embarrassment in his eyes and the absolute sorrow in his posture. But I didn't care. He needed to know the truth about this. He was lucky to have his virginity…

That he didn't have to look in the mirror and be disgusted with himself.

I hid my face at this point but he just ended up pulling me into a hug when I wouldn't say anything more.

"I'm sorry. It was dumb of me to say that, you're right. I guess I don't really think about the consequences when it comes to something like that. I'm sorry that I made you so upset."

I didn't look at him. I just pushed him away from me and headed for the door. I'd already embarrassed myself enough tonight… I didn't need to make matters worse. He tried to stop me, of course but Teri held him back. Sometimes I liked how she could read minds. She knew I needed to be alone.

I walked all the way home, knowing it was blocks away. The whole time I just wanted to jump into traffic. Just to stop the thoughts.

I'd been so desperate… I just wanted to be loved. And I ended up giving away something I could never take back. He hadn't cared, either. Once he was done with me he threw me aside for the next desperate sap to get tangled in his web. The worst part was I couldn't even remember his name. But after him there were many others.

None lasted very long. Some women, some men… none of which truly cared about me. I didn't care much for them either. But… if I could just pretend that they loved me, that they cared even the slightest bit, maybe it would have been enough to help me.

And then there was Derek. Someone who had me fooled from the moment I met him. He was charming, suave, gentle… and he told me every single day that he loved me. And then he got more violent, hitting me in what he'd call a 'playful' manner. He'd call me horrid names, none I liked to repeat, and no matter who I talked to – even if it was Wammy or the boys – he hated them. He demanded I stop speaking to them… then hit me again if I disobeyed. But… he always apologized… always told me he loved me.

Why had I believed him?

I made it home before the rain started up and I entered into the warm house before me. Wammy was more than worried to see that I'd walked home from such a great distance, but after seeing my face I suppose he knew why I hadn't called.

He made me some tea right away, even leaving some cake out for me but I wasn't too hungry. I just wanted to curl up on my couch and forget about how badly I'd embarrassed myself around Light.

He handed me the tea. "What's wrong, L?"

I didn't look at him, but I had to know. "Wammy… am I a terrible person?"

"What on earth are you talking about? Of course not!"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I wiped it away. "Then why did I do all of those terrible things? Why did I give myself to terrible people who only used me? Why can't I just be normal?"

He pet my hair down. "Because this world needs the abnormal. If everyone were the same, it'd be a boring world to live in."

"But all the mistakes I made…"

"L, we all make mistakes we aren't proud of." He interrupted me. "Sometimes we don't have a rhyme or reason to them. Sometimes it's an act of desperation. I know you aren't proud of the things you've done in your past, but it's what you do now that matters most. I won't ever turn away from you because of it, and you should trust that your friends and loved ones won't either."

I took a small sip from my tea, feeling my heart break a bit. "I don't know if I can trust Light, Wammy. I'm scared he'll look at me differently… like I'm vile."

The old man before me nodded at this. "Then take some time off from him to decide what you want to do. I've got a few cases we can work on from home while you recuperate."

I nodded solemnly. "Can we start them later? I'd rather just take a nap for a while."

"Of course. Take all the time you need."

I cuddled into couch pillows a bit more, setting down my cup of tea. Among the pillows was the panda Light won for me at the fair. I'd thought about getting it out of my sight, but it smelled too much like him to give up. Like I was still cuddling him and he was right there petting my hair lovingly.

I let my eyes close and I went into a dreamless sleep. I'd work on those cases later. Right now, all I wanted to do was rest.

(Light P.O.V)

I didn't mean for Ryuzaki to feel hurt by what I'd said. That wasn't my intention one bit. And looking into his eyes for that split second… seeing the pain behind them… I felt more than stupid for what I'd said.

"I am such a moron." I said to myself, hiding my face. "I never even thought about how he felt about all this, and now look! I just screwed everything up!"

"Okay, first of all…" Teri started up. "You are a moron."

I looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Gee, thanks."

"Hey, I'm giving you some hard truth here. You're a moron because you said something moronic. But that isn't why he's upset right now. He's upset because he's dealing with some emotional trauma that he needs you to help him with."

"Me?!" I exclaimed. "Teri, I'm not a psychologist! What can I do?!"

"You can reassure him that you're there for him when he needs you most." She demanded. "He's obviously embarrassed of his past and thinks you won't love him anymore since now you know he's not a virgin. Even more, that he gave it up so freely in his past."

"That's crazy. I'll always love him." I paused. "Why would any of that matter to me?"

"Well," Tamlen piped in, "you did say you wanted to lose your virginity together. Now that that 'plan' has sailed, you just want to 'get rid of it' and make it an even playing field with him."

"That's not what I said!"

"It sure sounded like it." Mikami muttered. "Look, I know I'm not the greatest with relationship advice…"

"I'll say, you hooked me up with the tuba player in band last year, dickhead." Tamlen started up. "I was in a perpetual loop of annoying for three long months!"

"Whatever." The man shoved off the topic. "The point is, Ryuzaki looks like the kind of person that needs reassurance in his life. Like no matter what, his knight in shining armour will be there to catch him when he falls and vise-versa. And Light… you haven't been given a reason to catch him yet. Not until right now."

Tamlen suddenly slapped him upside the head. "And where was advice like this with tuba girl!?"

While the two bickered Teri turned back to me. "Mikami has a point, Light. You're so used to people falling at your feet, that now that you have to fall to someone's feet… you don't know what to do. In a relationship, though, no one should be falling over anyone. When you fall, you get hurt. That's why you need to stop falling in love with him, and just be in love with him."

I thought about this for a long while before finally nodding to her. "You're right. All of you. I can't believe…" I couldn't even finish my thought. "I'll make it up to him though!"

"How?" She asked. "I mean, what could you do for him?"

I thought about this and came to a decision almost instantly. It would take up my whole weekend, but with no school on Monday I could utilize that entire day to making it up to Ryuzaki. This wasn't about me anymore… it was about us. Us, and what we were together.

And I needed to save it before I lost it forever.