Chapter 2:
Confusion
A few hours later
Sadly, I only managed to acquire four hours of sleep and I woke up feeling pretty dejected and gloomy. Still, no matter what, I would never miss my lunch together with Mink. I couldn't miss it even if I wanted too, my body would automatically get up in time for him every day; it's kind of embarrassing thinking that my body wants him just as much as I do.
Ever since a few days ago, I persuaded Mink to come home for lunch so we could eat together; even though it's a pretty silent lunch, it's uplifting because every single moment together with that man is euphoria; sometimes I can't believe this is the same man who, from a few years ago, wanted to die. The sudden thought made my stomach clench.
"Mink… If you had died; if you weren't here with me… I would never know true happiness and that thought scares me." I whispered to myself, tightening my fists and trying to calm myself. "Well, those days are gone. You are here with me now and I'm never going to let you go. Never. I swear it." As I reassured myself, I searched the refrigerator for the ingredients I needed and proceeded to turn on the stove.
The hours flew by as I focused all my attention on the sizzling pot of soup in front of me, trying my best not to be consumed by the jumbled thoughts that kept slithering in; dividing my concentration. Continuing to stir the pot monotonously, the thoughts of this morning poured back into my head; his voice, his lips, his face; they took control, tightly grasping at my consciousness and imprisoning it.
"What is happening to me…?" I growled, realising my swayed thoughts and immediately feeling despondent. With the boiling pot held cautiously in my gloved hands, I rested it on the counter, powered off the stove and paced over to the sofa where I had left Ren on sleep mode. Hoping to calm my mind, I gathered his furry body in my warm palms and activated him.
"Aoba." Ren's large eyes lifted open and his deep, mechanical voice resonated through my ears.
"Hey Ren, is everything okay?" I asked as I held his frail body up to my head, gently touching our foreheads together as I usually do.
"There are no problems."
"That's good." I replied, smiling while placing him back onto the sofa next to me. "I don't know what's been happening to me but ever since this morning, I've been thinking too much, my head is always full. I could barely get any sleep last night."
"I understand. So you are overly thinking about Mink?" Ren calmly stated in his usual monotone voice.
"A-ah… Well, yes. I guess I have." His sudden remark made the blood rush to my cheeks, making me blush deep red. Trying to hide my face in embarrassment, I look to the other side before I go on. "B-but why? Everything is fine, I love being here with him and if he didn't feel the same he wouldn't still be here." Letting out a deep sigh, I added, "I know that and yet I'm still feeling so desperate and troubled today."
"I see."
With the lunch laid out on the table, I managed to pass the time conversing with Ren, easily suppressing my anxiousness but within a few minutes, the rustling sounds of large footsteps pacing through the grass reach my ears; followed by the sudden crack of the wooden door, startling me. I immediately paused; my rapid heartbeat echoing through my ears.
He's back.