Chapter 52

"Harry you know better! Brawling like that is no way to handle that type of problem."
Remus had just found out about Harry and George's fight with Malfoy.
"I know, Dad. I just couldn't stand it anymore. Between Umbridge always making life miserable and Malfoy-"
"You gave Umbridge the perfect way to make life even more miserable for you. I know it's hard, but you have got to learn to control your temper or you're just going to keep getting in worse and worse trouble with her."
Harry looked so depressed in the mirror that Remus sighed and asked "What is she doing to you anyway?"
"Like I said, she took our brooms and banned-"
"No, I mean before this. She was already making life miserable. How?"
Harry was glad his dad couldn't see his scared hand.
"Just lines."
"Just lines? Someone like Umbridge is just having you do lines?"
"Yeah. That's all."
Remus looked suspicious.
"If it was something worse you'd tell me, wouldn't you?"
Harry made a noncommittal noise and moved his head in a way that could have been a nod- or not.
"At least Christmas is coming soon and you'll be home." Remus gave him a smile and added. "At least try not to get in trouble between now and then. I don't want her to have any excuse to hurt you."

December came, and the DA had made incredible improvement. So much so in fact that Harry told them they might be able to start patronuses soon. Everyone was in good spirits, and the ache of not being able to play Quiddich had faded a little for Harry in the light of the upcoming holiday. He was going to be home and have three wonderful weeks without having to think about Umbridge.
The Weasley twins, on the other hand, seemed to be using the time left before Christmas to think of nothing but Umbridge and ways to get back at her. If James, Sirius, and even Remus could have seen all the twins were doing, they'd have been proud. Pranks were now pulled on a daily basis. Umbridge often had trouble speaking clearly these day since the twins "accidentally" dropped acid pops by her after she'd eaten a toad cream. (It wasn't their fault toads had such long toungs and a fly had been on the acid pop at the time, right?) They even got Peeves involved by bribing him with one of their snack boxes. Of course, Peeves never needed much encouragement to cause mayhem. In addition to his usual antics, he'd now started singing rude songs about Umbridge as loud as possible during class. Since it was so close to Christmas, today he was singing a song to the tune of "You're a mean one Mr. Grinch." Harry had no idea where Peeves had heard the muggle song, but he liked Peeve's version of it.
...You're as gentle as a bludger
You're a nice as Devil's Snare
Miss Umbriiiiiiiidge.
"Will someone shut that stupid poltergeist up!"
You're so ugly, Miss Umbridge.
You're so completely vile.
You're more frightening than dementors
You've got doxies in your smile,
Miss Umbriiiiiidge.
The song continued, and Harry's favorite part was when Peeves sang "The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote: Stink, stank, stunk" While the dungbombs the Weasley twins had set up above her desk earlier dropped directly on her head.
Class had to be cut short so the smell could be dealt with.

"I thought Arthur was coming to relieve me tonight."
"I decided to take his place tonight," Remus said. Truth be told, he'd been anxious about her and had to see that she was all right. "Arthur looked tired anyway."
"So do you," Tonks said, noticing the exhausted look in Remus's eyes. "I don't think you gave yourself enough of a chance to recover from the last full moon."
Remus shrugged it off.
"You've been pushing yourself too. We all have. I'm not doing anymore than anyone else."
He put an arm around her, and despite her best efforts to hide how tired she was she let out a yawn as they walked out together. Remus smiled.
"Don't think I didn't see that young lady."
She playfully cuffed him.
"I'm not a schoolgirl anymore, so none of that young lady buisness."
Remus couldn't help chuckling. Merlin, had he noticed. To him there was no woman more beautiful.
"Anyway," Tonks said. "I wanted to talk to you about something. I may as well bring it up now as later." Then slowly she said "Remus, Mila needs a permanent home. I know how much you love her. I love her too."
It took a second for Remus to understand what she meant.
"Dora, are you saying you want to adopt Mila?"
Nodding, Tonks said "That way Mila will have a permanent home. She wouldn't have to go anywhere."
Mila's own parents had turned their backs on her, and here Tonks wanted her as much as Remus did, not bothered by Mila's problem.
"You know, most people would be worried what other people would think of them for associating with werewolves."
Flipping a piece of her pink hair, Tonks asked "Do I look like the type of person who cares what others think of me?"
Remus had to smile at that. He knew she followed her own heart.
"What about your parents? How will they feel about having a werewolf in the family?"
"You're asking that only because of Mila?"
Remus went into a coughing fit and said "Who else would I be asking about?"
Shaking her head, Tonks said "You're impossible. Well, if you are asking only about Mila, knowing my parents they'll love spoiling their new granddaughter." She paused. "So, what do you think?"
It would mean the Ministry finding out where Mila was, but that was bound to happen sooner or later anyway. And by adopting Mila, Tonks would have a legal claim to her so the Ministry couldn't force them to put her in an orphanage. Mila would be guaranteed a home with people who loved her.
"I think if you want to go through with this, you'll be a wonderful mother to her."
They were almost out of the building now, but Tonks couldn't quite make it without tripping. Remus was there to catch her.
"Sure you can make it home without breaking your neck?"
"Sure you don't want to go through the next week with hair matching mine?"
"I'll just shut up now."
"Good idea."
Tonks turned and looked at Remus and the playful banter stopped.. He was so tired. But he'd be fine, Tonks told herself. It was only guard duty, the most boring job in the Order. Nothing would happen to him tonight.

Harry's dream changed, and now he was crawling along the floor on his belly. There was a man drowsing in front of the door at the end of the cooridor. Harry wanted to bite him, but he must do his master's bidding first. Just then the man woke up and Harry had to attack. He could tell this was a man who knew how to defend himself against dark creatures, but the man was tired and the snake struck too quickly. Three strikes and the man was down, bleeding uncontrollably.
"No!" Harry shouted, shooting up in his own bed at Hogwarts. His head ached, he was having trouble breathing, and he felt like he was going to throw up, but none of that mattered. He had to get help to his dad right tried to get out of bed but felt himself pushed back down.
"Harry, it's all right," Ron said, sounding a little panicked.
"No it isn't. My dad's been hurt. He'll die if he doesn't get help right away."
"It was just a dream. Neville's gone to get someone to help you."
"I'm not the one who needs help!"
He had tears in his eyes now. His dad would die before anyone reached him. But just then Neville came back with McGonagall.
"What's wrong? Where does it hurt?"
"I'm not the one who's hurt," he told her. "My dad's been attacked. I saw it."
And with a sickening realization, Harry also knew he was the one who'd done it. He was that awful snake. If his dad died, it was his fault.

Harry would have been weak with relief that McGonagall believed him and they were going to see Dumbledore, but for now his every thought was on his dad. He couldn't help being angry with the headmaster for asking just how he had seen it. What did that matter now? And it wasn't comforting when Dumbledore said it could take the portraits several minuets to to find Remus. What if he didn't have several minuets left? Harry felt so numb with grief and fright that he barely noticed Dumbledore asking one of his instruments something.
At last, Everard returned to his portrait.
"I yelled until they came running. They carried him past a few minuets later. He doesn't look good. He's covered in blood."
Harry already knew this of course, but everything seemed to fade away as he heard that. It was exactly like being too close to a dementor. Somehow though he kept from fainting and was able to focus when Dumbledore made a portkey to send him home to Phoenix House and gave Phineous Black the message to tell Sirius about Remus being hurt. Then Harry could finally be on his way. As he touched the old black kettle, he felt an unexpected hate boiling up inside him, and in that moment there was nothing he wanted worse than to attack Dumbledore.
As he landed in the basement kitchen at Phoenix House, he saw that Andromeda was there. She'd probably been visiting Sirius. Then Harry's heart sank as he saw Mila was awake and there too. How could he tell her what he'd done?
"Harry what happened? They said Dad's been hurt"
Nodding, Harry turned to Andromeda.
"Please, could you take us to St. Mungo's? We've got to get there right away."
The look on Andromeda's face said plainly that she wished she could, but she said "I'm sorry. Dumbledore said you have to stay here until it looks like you could have known about the attack through some other way than having a vision."
"But Dad could be-"
"Don't think that way," Andromeda said gently. "He's at the best hospital in the wizarding world. He was found quickly. Right now Sirius and Nymphadora are with him. I didn't really expect either of them to listen and stay here once they heard he was hurt. But they'll let us know how he's doing and Dumbledore will work out some excuse for them knowing. We just can't let anyone know you saw it. Nymphadora wouldn't have known either, but she wanted to wait here for him to come home."
Mila turned to Harry and asked "Do you think he'll be all right? You saw it happen."
How Harry wished she hadn't asked. She was so trusting. If he told her their dad would be fine, she'd believe him. But he didn't know if everything would be fine. He delayed a moment to long in answering, and Mila understood more from his silence than if he'd said something. She hugged him, and brother and sister stayed that way a long time. There was nothing they could do, even if they were at St. Mungo's, except wait. The night seemes to drag on forever, and more than once Harry thought he'd rather be right in the ground beside his first parents than go through this. The pain of knowing his dad could die combined with knowing he was the reason for it was unbearable. He didn't know how it could be possible, but he was convinced he'd been transported to wherever his dad had been, become a snake, and attacked him. And it had come close to happening again in Dumbledore's office.
Mila finally fell asleep as she and Harry sat on the sofa. She snuggled closer to him for comfort, and the horrible thought occurred to Harry that he could attack her next. He had no way to predict when Voldemort would take control of him again. Anybody could be the next one hurt or killed. He told himself he'd just stay long enough to know if his dad would recover or not, and then he'd leave. He'd never hurt any of them again.
Finally, a little after five in the morning, a message came. Harry took the note and recognized Sirius' handwriting.
Moony's going to make it. Tonks and I are staying here. He's resting comfortably now.

It was unmeasurable relief to see how well Remus was doing when they reached St. Mungo's. In fact, Remus, sleeping peacefully, was probably doing better than any of his visitors. Tonks had fallen asleep in one of the chairs. Harry barely recognized her at first. Instead of her usual colors, her hair were a dull mousey brown. Sirius was sleeping too, and had transformed into a dog the way he often did when he had nightmares. Harry was surprised to see Alex must have heard about the attack too, and was even more surprised to see that she was setting on the floor and had lifted the big dog's head onto her lap. She was actually petting him like she was trying to comfort him. If Sirius had been awake he wouldn't have believed it.
Remus was just waking up, and smiled seeing his family and friends there. Both Harry and Mila were looking at him as if afraid he'd suddenly stop breathing when he said "I'm not too injured for you two to come over here closer, you know."
That was all the encouragement they needed to come over for a hug.
"I don't want you two worrying about me," Remus said when they pulled apart. "I'm not in any pain, and as soon as they can take the bandages off I can come home."
The sound of Padfoot whimpering in his sleep interrupted them. Harry wondered if he was having a nightmare about Remus being hurt, about losing another best friend.
"Padfoot!"
His friend's voice woke him up in a second, and still disoriented, he changed back to human and got to his feet before quite realizing where he was or what he'd been doing.
"Moony! About time you woke up. Do you realize you scared everybody half to death last night? You should have stayed home and slept. I'm not going to lose another friend."
"Sirius quiet down," Andromeda scolded. "You'll wake Nymphadora. And the man in the bed with the curtains around it is probably trying to sleep."
"Oh, sorry," he said in a quieter voice. Then he looked at Remus again. There were times when people had to laugh to keep from screaming or crying, and this was one of those times. "And here you call yourself an expert on dark creatures."
"Let me find that snake again and it won't be so lucky," Remus said. "Anyway, this is my own fault. I knew I was too tired last night."
Harry felt like he'd have a complete breakdown if he didn't tell them.
"No, this is my fault."
Everyone turned to look at him, but just then Tonks woke up. She had a terrified expression on her face as if just remembering what had happened. Her hair went back to pink when she saw that Remus was as well as possible after such an attack, then they went to red.
"Remus Lupin if you ever scare me like that again so help me that snake will look like a sweet kitten compared to what I'm going to do to you."
Before Remus had a chance to answer, Andromeda was trying to quiet her daughter.
"Nymphadora, you should go home and rest. You were up all yesterday and most of last night."
Tonks flinched at the use of her first name, then shook her head.
"I'm staying right here."
"Don't be silly Dora," Remus said. "There's nothing I need, and there no point tp you making yourself sick over this. I don't need to be fussed over."
"It's no use trying to convince me of that," Tonks said. "If it wasn't for Harry-" She broke off and turned to Harry. "Thank you. If it wasn't for you, Remus wouldn't be here."
Harry felt a lump in his throat.
"That's right. He wouldn't be here. He'd never have been hurt and he'd be safe at home now."
Remus looked at his son.
"Harry, I'd be dead."
Shaking his head, Harry explained. "You don't understand. I didn't see the snake. I was the snake. I was the one who did the attacking. I didn't mean to, but I wasn't in controll. Then somehow I was back at Hogwarts."
Remus had an unreadable expression on his face. After a second he said "Dora? Mrs. Tonks? I was reading A Christmas Carolto Mila and I was wondering if the two of you could take her home to get it. I don't see why my being here should stop us from finishing it by Christmas."
Mila understood that to mean he wanted to talk to Harry alone, but knew it would be best to obey. She gave Harry a hug and said "I don't believe it, Harry. You'd never hurt Dad. You'd never hurt any of us. I know it." She gave Remus another hug before leaving with Tonks and made an excuse to leave, so the two Marauders and Harry were left alone. Remus turned to his son.
"Mila's right. You weren't anywhere near me when the attack happened. And even if you had been, you wouldn't have hurt me."
"I'm not so sure," Harry said. "It happened again in Dumbledore's office. I didn't become the snake, but I still wanted to attack him. It was like- like part of Voldemort was inside me."
Remus and Sirius looked at each other with the same expression of horror and Remus gasped a strangled "No!"
"That's why I have to leave. I can't have a chance to hurt anybody again."
"Harry," Remus said after taking a moment to calm himself, "This reminds me a lot of the end of your third year. Remember how I thought the best thing I could do for you was to leave? You convinced me how wrong I was. And you were right. Leaving would have been the biggest mistake of my life. And I don't believe you're dangerous to me any more than you believe I'm dangerous to you."
"Then what happened? Why did it seem like I was the snake? And why did I want to attack Dumbledore?"
Remus hesitated. "There's some connection between you and Voldemort that we don't understand. Nobody except you has ever survived the killing curse, so we can't know what we're dealing with. But I do know that there's no way he could have gotten you out of Hogwarts, turned you into a snake, had you attack me, and then got you back to Hogwarts besides. All you did was see what happened."
Harry felt a little reassured, but couldn't help noticing the panicked look on his father and godfather's faces.

"It can't be! There's no way Harry could be a horcrux!" Sirius shouted as soon as Harry was out of hearing range. Remus had pretended to want Harry to go check in the lobby to see if the others were back yet.
"Exactly. There'd be signs if he was," remus said, then groaned. "Signs like him being a parslemouth, having the brother to Voldemort's wand, and not being able to block Voldemort from getting into his head."
"Just coincidences," Sirius said determinedly.
"Right," Remus said. "Of course." But he remembered how Dumbledore seemed to be keeping something from him the day he'd told him about Harry's vision of the old muggle being killed.
"Dumbledore knows," Remus said quietly. "Or at least suspects. Harry said Dumbledore's been avoiding him all year. That's why."
"He's been wrong before," Sirius said quickly. "He has to be wrong now."
"Even if he's right, we can't just step to the side and let Harry be killed."
"Of course not," Sirius said. "And anyway, we already knew there was some connection between them. It doesn't have to mean what we think it does. I can't believe after everything we've been through that we have to lose him now."
But they both knew the truth. There had to be some way for Harry to come through this alive though. And no matter what, they were going to do all they could to find it.
AN: I'm expecting a lot of flames for this. Believe me, I absolutely hated doing that to Remus, but it was necessary to move the story in the way it has to move in my version.
Some of the lyrics to Peeve's song get credited to a parody someone wrote about Voldemort on . I kept some of them and changed others.