Chapter 8:
Embrace
I focused my thoughts carefully, even though I was sure about my emotions and feelings, it was incredibly hard to put them into words; especially in a way that he could understand.
Staring straight into his eyes, I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. "Ever since a few days, countless thoughts and emotions have been eating at my mind; at first it was no big deal but now, no matter how much I try to overpower them, they just keep coming back. Not only that but…" I pause, trying my best to calm my nerves. "You're the one clutching at my consciousness; you're always in my mind. When you left today, it hurt; I could barely breathe. I didn't want you to leave me, I felt empty without you. More than anything, I want you next to me; I want to be held by you. I can't stop these feelings, these desires. It's selfish I know."
"Aoba…" Mink stares straight back into my eyes, his kind and loving expression instantly causing me to feel embarrassed.
"But even so, when you're here with me… I'm scared. I get nervous and I can't concentrate." Pausing once again to gather my feelings, I can feel the heat rising to my face. My head is spinning and my hands are shaking but I know exactly what I want to say next. I inhale deeply and continue, "Mink, my desires are getting out of hand. I want to have sex with you; not just now but all the time. Whenever I'm around you, my urges are so strong. It's not my body talking either, it's me. It's all me. I want to feel your heat against my body; I want to be connected to you in every way possible. I don't want to let you go. Never."
As the words erupted from my lips, I felt confident all of a sudden and turned my head to face straight at the man above me, looking for any hint of emotion as I waited patiently for his response.
"Aoba." Mink's voice is husky when he finally speaks; his tone is a little distorted almost like he's embarrassed. "You… you aren't the only one."
"Huh?" I gaze, confused.
"You aren't the only one. I, as well, wish to be by your side every second of every day. I try my hardest to suppress my emotions and desires, although, sometimes it seems I can't help myself around you so I stop before I get too out of control. I'd rather die than hurt you. I… don't ever want to hurt you again." Mink narrows his eyes away as he speaks; his voice is soft yet audible. The emotion in his tone is overwhelmingly grim; I can almost taste the hopelessness in the air around us.
"Mink… You feel the same…" I whisper to no one in particular; it was almost like a reassurance of what he had just said.
Not once did I ever think that Mink was going through the same emotions, maybe even worse…
Feeling selfish and guilty, I raise my head to meet Mink's gaze and look into his disheartened eyes; tiny droplets of liquid beginning to plummet down my face.
"Mink, I'll never leave. I could never leave. No matter what you've done in the past, you've already fixed all that with all the love you've shown me. You took away all my pain and replaced it with euphoria. Mink… because of you… I am happy. I am so happy. It doesn't matter what I'm going through right now, the fact is that I'm happy. Being with you makes me happy." The tears now streaming down my face, I say the one thing I've wanted to say for so long.
"I love you, Mink."
"Aoba!" Mink gazes directly into my tearful eyes and swings his arms around my body, enveloping me in an eternal embrace.
You make me so happy, Mink…