Chapter 39

"I dunno Soph" I said as she took a step back. She was clearly hurt. "Babe" I tried to reach for her but she stepped back. "Soph don't be like this" I sulked.

"How am I supposed to be like" she said quietly.

"I don't know" I whispered.

"Seems there are lots of things you don't know" she uttered.

"I know" I said quietly as I looked down on the floor. "I'm not saying no, I'm just…" I stuttered.

"What" she snapped at me.

"I'm sorry, I love you but I just…" I couldn't get my words out right. She started putting on her clothes. "Don't do that" I sighed as she shrugged. "Soph, stop we need to talk about this" I pleaded with her.

"I heard all I need to know" she said as her voice broke and her eyes started to water. I couldn't bare to see her cry.

"Baby please" I begged, but she didn't want to hear it. She went stormed out of the room.

I broke down in tears. I did love I just didn't know, I…. I. Tears started forming and I couldn't stop them from falling down on my cheeks.

…

I decided to go out of our bedroom and speak to her. We needed to sort this out.

"Soph" I murmured as I walked out of the room, I wanted to talk to her properly let her know how I felt.

"Sophie" I said again but there was no answer, I looked everywhere in the apartment but she was nowhere. She left and she didn't even take Math with her.

Math started crying as he woke up. I quickly pulled him up and tried to sooth him. "I know I want her back too" I mumbled through my tears.

"Come on let's go watch some Winnie the Pooh or summit" I said to him when he finally calmed down.

"What kind of crap is this" I thought as I watched a 3D version of Winnie the pooh, but Matty seemed to like it so. A knock interrupted my thoughts; I quickly got up hoping it was Sophie.

"Soph" I murmured as I opened the door but I was met with Rosie.

"What the hell did you do to my sister" she snapped.

"I …I" I couldn't speak; I looked at the ground as tears started forming in her eyes.

"Oh for God sakes, don't you start too. I just had Sophie ruin a perfectly good top" she whined as she entered the apartment. "So are you going to tell me what's going on, cause I didn't get anything out of her" she huffed.

"I'm sorry" I whimpered as I went to sit back on the sofa with Matty in my lap.

"For what Sian, what did you do" she asked tenderly as she went to sit down next to me.

"I said no…. well actually I said I didn't know" I stated.

"Sian babes you're taking in riddles, what didn't you know" she asked as pulled Matty closer to my chest. For some reason he gave me comfort, he was a piece of Sophie that I could still hold.

"Sian" she said quietly as she put her hand on mine.

"She asked me to marry her" I stated while looking into space.

"She what" Rosie asked bewildered. "And you said no" she asked carefully.

"Yeah, well not exactly I said I didn't know" I breathed as I felt a tear glide over my cheek.

"Well …. Gosh Sian I don't know what to say" she stated.

"Join the club" I huffed. "I just…. I'm seventeen, isn't that way too young to marry" I asked her.

"I don't know do you love her" she said as I nodded. "I mean like really love her, like you couldn't imagine your life without her." She stated as I nodded once again.

"So you do want to stay with her for the rest of your life right" she asked gently as I looked up.

"Yeah, but…" I started whimpering.

"But what" she said gently.

"I'm seventeen; she's sixteen is that even legal. I don't know what to do. I love her, and I do want to spend the rest of my life with her, I'm just… scared" I admitted.

"Does she know that" she asked as I shook my head.

"No she just left" I stated as more tears started falling from my eyes.

"Okay stop, you want her back right" she asked as I nodded."You have to tell her what you told me" she stated.

"What if I can't" I whimpered.

"You'll have to try…. Before we go let me get one thing straight first. You love her and you do want to marry her, just not right now cause you're scared right" she asked.

"Right" I said slowly.

"Then tell her that" she said as we both went out of the apartment.

…

Sophie pov

"I heard all I need to know" I said as I could feel my heart break. She was trying to reach for me but I wouldn't let her.

"Baby please" she said as I shook my head. I couldn't handle being in the same room as her right now. It hurt so much, she didn't want to be with me, she didn't mean it. Those words kept running through my mind as I walked out of the door.

Matty was still sleeping so I decided to leave him be. I couldn't risk her coming out of our room, I needed to go.

I made my way to Rosie's house and collapsed on her doorstep as I rang the doorbell.

"All right I'm coming" a voice huffed; I didn't realize I was still pushing the doorbell. I quickly let it go as she opened the door.

"Sophie? What happened" she said as she dragged me in. I couldn't find the courage to tell her, I could barely breathe.

"Soph tell me what happened" she murmured as I cried in her arms.

"Is it Matty, is he okay" she asked as I nodded.

"Well then tell me, please" she said tenderly as she was stroking my hair.

"I… I .. Sian … and she" I sobbed, I couldn't get the words out.

"Okay, it's okay. Come on I'll make you a brew and then you can go sleep in your old room if you want" she said to me as I nodded.

….

"Here we go under the covers" she said as she tugged me in. I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my cheek. "I have to go to the butcher, will you be okay till then" she asked as I nodded.

When she left the room, I wrapped the duvet around me and lied in a little ball. It was nice to be in my old room again, it felt comforting. I quickly fell asleep.

…

"Sophie" someone murmured as they shook me a bit.

"Rosie" I muttered.

"Yeah, look there's someone here for you" she stated as I opened my eyelids and saw Sian standing sheepishly by the door. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had been crying. "Well at least now I know she cares." I thought.

"I'll leave you to it, if you need me I'm downstairs okay" she smiled as she left the room.

"Hey" she whimpered as I sat up.

"Hey" I sad coldly.

"Sophie, I'm sorry I …" she stuttered.

"Look Sian I don't want to do this, if you're going to break up with me then get it over with" I stated as a tear fell down her cheek.

"I'm not here to break up with you" she whimpered as she came and sat on my bed.

"I love you and just hear me out okay" she pleaded as I sighed.

"I love you so much, and yeah I would wanna marry you… someday, I just don't know if I'm ready for it now" she stated.

"Why does it matter, if you're okay with getting married in the future, why not now" I asked her as I moved closer to her.

"Soph it's not that simple" she whimpered as our noses were almost touching.

"Why not" I asked her.

"Because I'm scared and not really ready for this" she stated.

"So you don't want to marry me" I stated, I could feel my heart die inside me when I saw her tears falling down her cheeks.

"Yes or no Sian, it's a simple question" I stated as she shook her head. I felt my heart shatter, I tried to swallow the gulp that was forming in my throat, but I failed.

"I'm saying not yet" she pleaded me with her eyes.

"Then maybe we should take a break until we're there" I stated quietly.

"WHAT you don't mean that" she cried.

"I do" I replied.

"Why are you doing this, please don't leave me" she said as she cupped my face.

"Because I don't think I can live with the daily reminder that you don't have your heart in this relationship" I stated.

"I never said that, Stop! Look we can figure this out" she said as she kissed my lips. I could taste the salty tears on her lips.

"I can't, I'm sorry" I murmured as her expression turned to anger.

"Why are you being so selfish" she asked. "You promised never to leave me" she cried.

"I'm sorry, but seeing you everyday will remind me of this rejection, I can't …." I couldn't say anything else; I just turned my head around and lay back down. She left my room as I could her sobs and sniffs coming from her.

"I love you" she whispered as she left the room.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

…

Sian pov

"Sian what happened" Rosie asked me as I came down the stairs.

"She…. I" I cried in her arms

"Shhh its okay" she soothed me.

"I have to go" I said as I made my way to the door. I saw Matty look at me with his mother's eyes.

"I love you too little guy" I said as I kissed his forehead and left the house.

I broke down completely at the bus stop, the tears wouldn't stop. When I entered the apartment I was greeted with Chesney. Suppose Rosie called him to tell him what happened.

"Sian" he said sympathetically.

"I…. it hurts so much Ches" I said as sat on the sofa.

"Come here, she's a fool you know." he said as he wrapped his arms around. I cried in his arms until I must've fallen asleep.