Chapter 40

Sian pov

I had been crying myself to sleep for two weeks now. Sophie had moved out to go live with her parents for a while, while I looked for an apartment. I was glad I finally found one, not too far from my job. Every time Sophie came to pick up or drop off Matty, I couldn't hold her gaze it was too painful. She did the same we had been avoiding each other, much to Ches and Rosie's annoyance. He kept telling me to sort it out, but I just felt tired.

I'd grown a closer to Matty and Chesney. Every time he came to stay with Ches, we did games together and I read him bedtime stories. I realized that I did love the lad; I just wished I had realized it sooner. I even got up one night to sooth him, when Chesney wouldn't wake up. The poor guy had been exhausted from his job, so I thought I'd take over.

Now I was here waking up with stained tears on my cheeks again. I felt like I was going to fall apart, I couldn't even sleep properly without Sophie near me, how pathetic is that.

I got out of bed and started making breakfast.

"Morning Sian" Chesney said as he walked in with a groggy Matty in his arms.

"Hey morning, you want some pancakes" I asked him as his face lit up.

"Yeah" he beamed as I gave him his plate. "You know you'd make a great housewife" he sniggered as I put Matty in his chair.

"Oi, I am NOT a housewife, I am proud to say that I am a florist assistant thank you very much" I smirked as I reached for Matty's food. I caught myself doing the same thing as Sophie did the first time I saw her feed him. I felt a lump growing in my throat.

"You okay" he asked me with a mouthful of food as I gave him a brave smile.

"Yeah" I croaked out.

"Uhm Sian, I've been wondering" he started saying.

"Uh that's never good" I smirked shyly.

"Haha very funny. I'm serious, Matty's birthday party is coming up" he said carefully. I knew they were planning on having one, but I suppose I just got sidetracked.

"And I know Matty would love to have you there" he smiled as I sighed deeply.

"Ches… he's 1 I don't think he even knows who I am" I sighed.

"Yes he does, he recognizes you. Please it would also mean a lot to me, it's his first birthday party" he said as he held my gaze. "Shit" I thought as I felt myself caving in.

"Okay" I mumbled.

"Cheers mate….. Uhm just one more thing, its tomorrow at Sophie's parents house" he said as my eyes widened.

"What, oh great. You waited deliberately till after I said yes to tell me that didn't you" I huffed.

"Yes" he sniggered.

"Ches'…. I can't" I moaned.

"Yes you can, and you've already said yes so you're coming" he stated as I groaned.

"What about a gift, I don't have one for Matty" I stated.

"Well then I suppose you better go shopping" he sniggered as I moaned again.

"Fucking great" I thought. I went back into my room and checked my phone for any messages. None it read as I saw the date.

November 4th 2011 it read as I closed my eyes and sighed. "Sophie birthday" I thought. I had been agonizing for a half an hour "text her or not and if I do, do I put an x behind or not, and how many" my mind rambled.

"Ughhhh fuck it" I muttered as I typed in the message.

To Sophie: Hey happy birthday :) x

"Ugh no that's too formal, she'll …. Ughh I groaned as I deleted the message. Okay 2nd try.

To Sophie: hey birthday girl. Happy birthday to you in the zoo lives a cockatoo and he says I love you! Happy birthday to you!

"Nope to childish, fucking hell who writes a song as a text" I muttered as erased the words once more. Okay third times' lucky.

To Sophie: Happy birthday, I hope you're enjoying your day. I love you. x S.

"Suppose that's okay" I thought. I was agonizing to erase or leave the I love you at the end. I wanted to erase it but I was so distracted with my thoughts that I pushed the send button instead. I tried to stop like a mad person, hitting all the buttons on my phone, but I failed.

"O dear lord" I sighed.

…

"Hi Beth… I'm fine thanks you?…. that's great… hey look, remember when you told me this great toy store you went to with your daughter…. Yeah uhm a … friend of mine is having a birthday party for her son, could you give me the address… thanks you're a lifesaver…. Yeah I'm out now, but …. Yeah look I have to go good luck with him ay…. Yeah bye and thanks again….. Bye" I said to her as I hung up the phone.

Great let's go then. I entered the toy store, it was like a store out of the harry potter books, shit man this is great.

I went over to the boy's side and looked for at least 2 hours for the perfect gift, but nothing.

"May I help you" I lady said as she came over, she must've noticed how long I had been standing here.

"Uhm yeah, I'm looking for a gift for a one year old boy" I stated as she smiled.

"Okay and what are you looking for exactly" she asked as I pursed my lips.

"Not sure actually "I stated.

"Okay, well why don't you come with me we've got some stuff from last year in the back" she smiled as I followed her. I wasn't really to keen on going to the back, it made me quite anxious, but it was for Matty so.

"Here we are" she said pointing me to a couple of boxes she opened as I spotted something that caught my attention.

"How much is this" I asked her.

"Uhm it says 60£, but since its last year you get 35% discount." She said as I smiled.

"I'll take it" I beamed as she took me to the counter. I paid and made my way out.

…

As I was packing his gift Chesney entered the apartment.

"Hey I see you've found him a gift, what did you get him" he asked.

"I'm not telling you, you can't keep a secret" I stated.

"Oh come on Sian, even if I tell Matty what it is he won't understand me" he moaned.

"You don't know that so move your eyes away from the gift" I said as he tried to get a sneak peek at my gift.

"All right, well I'm gonna give him a bath okay" he stated as I smiled.

"Okay I'll phone the pizza place in the mean time" I stated as he nodded and left the living room with Math in his arms.

"Finally some peace and quiet" I thought as I continued my wrapping. I was hesitating if I should wrap the gift I bought Sophie a couple weeks back and give it to her at the party. Suppose I better not, it'll be easier that way.

"Beep beep beep" my phone went. I opened the text and was surprised to see it was Sophie's

To Sian: Thanks. S.

It cut me like a knife, that she was being so cold. I small tear rolled off my cheek. "Snap out of it" I thought as I went back to my wrapping.

….

"Good morning Sian" Chesney beamed.

"Morning" I muttered as I came into the kitchen.

"You're in a good mood" he said sarcastically.

"Well I'm aloud aren't I" I replied. I was dreading this day, god it was going to be so painful.

"Come on eat something" he said putting a plate in front of me; it didn't even look like food. I scrunched up my face.

"No thanks…. Really it's tempting, but I'm not hungry" I stated as he raised his eyebrows.

"Fine, last time I try to cook summit" he moaned.

"Good "I muttered as he snapped his head back to me.

"Get your arse into the shower, we're leaving in an hour" he said as he smacked my bum with the spatula.

"Owh that hurt" I moaned as he sniggered.

"It'll hurt a lot more if you don't hurry up" he joked as moved forward and I ran into the bathroom.

I entered the shower and let the water stream down my face. I sighed as I put turned the water hotter and let it splash against my back as I was resting my head against the wall breathing in slowly. "How am I going to survive this day" I thought. I was startled by a loud knock on the door.

"Come on Sian, we don't have all day" Chesney shouted.

"Fuck sakes it's like living at home again" I thought as I got dressed.

….

Sophie pov

"I hear Karen's coming" Rosie sniggered as I scoffed.

"And I should be interested why" I said to my sister.

"Uhh cause she's totally still into you, I mean she was your first, doesn't that mean anything" she smirked.

"No" I said with a high pitch voice. "And why should I be interested" I asked.

"Just thought you could use a rebound, after Si…" she started saying as interrupted her.

"Rosie, how is this any of you business" I asked her.

"Uh since you've been acting like a moody cow for 2 weeks now" she huffed. "Look I know it's hard, but you've got to either get back with Sian or move on" she said as my eyes widened.

"Says the SLAPPER of the street" I snapped.

"Sophie" my mum uttered.

"Ugh I'm going to get ready okay" I said as stormed upstairs.

…

"Sophie Chesney and ….. They're waiting…. are you coming down" I heard Rosie yell as I was dry blowing my hair and only heard half of it.

"Send them up" I yelled as I continued blow-drying my hair. I heard didn't hear the door open as I saw her reflection in the mirror and stopped my blow-dyer.

"Sian" I said confused.

"Hey uhm Chesney wanted to taste the cake, so I thought I'd bring Matty up. Should I've waited downstairs" she said nervously as she was standing by the door. She was wearing a yellow dress with butterflies on it and brown heels underneath; her hair was resting on her shoulders. My breath hitched as I looked into her eyes. All I could see in them was hurt.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have come up, I just thought you'd want to see him and Rosie said…. I'm sorry" she said as she was about to leave.

"Sian, wait" I yelled as I got up.

"Can I have him" I asked pointing to Matty, she looked at him and realized she was still holding on to him.

"Yeah sorry… here" she said as hand him over. I held her gaze as my heart started beating faster. I wanted so bad to kiss her right now, but I couldn't.

"I…I'm gonna go downstairs" she stuttered as she moved out of my room.

"You look really pretty" she said as she looked over her shoulder. I wanted to speak and tell her she looked gorgeous, but my body wouldn't allow it. I looked to the floor instead as I felt my cheeks flush. I heard her sigh as she headed back downstairs.

…

"Hi Norma" I smiled at Dora's mum.

"Hi Sophie could to see you, I was so pleased to hear about Matty" she said carefully as I smiled at her.

"Yeah me too" I laughed.

"I'll see you inside" I said as I greeted my other guests inside. I finally made my way to the kitchen and saw Matty and Chesney.

"Hey" I greeted him coldly.

"Hey" he smiled. "What's wrong, this is a party, you should be smiling"

"You wanna tell me what Sian's doing here" I hissed at him.

"Look she's my mate okay and I wanted her here" he stated.

"What…" I started saying, I wanted to yell at him but I saw Sian enter the kitchen.

"Hey where do I put this" she said holding a gift in her arms.

"Uhm on that table" I said pointing to it.

"Thanks" she said as she pursed her lips.

"She bought him a gift" I said to myself.

"Yeah, she did" Chesney answered as I looked up at her. I needed a breather, so I went into the conservatory.

"Sophie" I heard a voice murmur behind me.