Chapter 41

Sian pov

"Where do I put this" I asked Sophie," fuck those blue eyes are going to kill me" I thought as I pursed my lips.

"On that table" she said pointing to a table in the back. She was fuming with anger; I knew she didn't want me at that party.

"Thanks" I muttered as I put the gift on the table. When I turned around I saw an upset looking Sophie go out into the conservatory. I wanted to go after her, but some woman with black hair beat me to it. I frowned.

"Hey Ches' who is that just went into the conservatory" I asked trying to be subtle.

"Uhm she's just Karen one of the parents here" he muttered as I nodded.

"Right" I replied keeping my eyes on them.

"Sian, can you take Matthew while I go to the bathroom" he asked as I took the lad into my arms

"Hey you, I missed you" I said to him as I kissed his forehead. He was the one thing that came close to Sophie that I could still love and hold close. I fixated my gaze back on Sophie; she was flirting with the woman. "Well that didn't take long" I thought boiling with anger and jealousy.

"Okay time for the gifts, where's the birthday boy" Sally cheered as I closed my eyes and sighed, I really didn't want to face Sally.

"Over here" I shouted as her eyes grew with confusion.

"Where are Sophie and Ches" Rosie asked me.

"Uhm Chesney went to the bathroom and Sophie….. Is a bit busy with flirting" I huffed as Sophie just came out of the conservatory.

She looked at me with guilt and anger. "I'll take him" she said quietly as the woman whom she'd been flirting with followed her. I swallowed hard as they all went to sit in a circle. I saw her stroke Sophie's back as they sat down. I couldn't handle looking at it anymore. I turned my gaze to Rosie who gave me a sympathetically smile.

"Come on" Rosie said as we went to sit down in a circle.

…

"Okay this is from, Daisy" Sophie cheered as she helped Matty open his gift.

"Woaaw lighting McQueen from cars" Sophie smiled. "What do we say, we say thank you" she sung as she moved on to the next package. I gulped as she was reaching for mine.

"Okay whose this from, uh no name. Whose this from then" she asked.

"Me" I croaked. "It's from me" I said to her as she looked into my eyes. I started drowning in her blue piercing eyes; I couldn't help but stare at her as she did the same. Someone cleared their throat.

"Right so let's open it then, I've been waiting long enough, since Sian wouldn't give me a peek last night." Chesney said as the group laughed and Sophie looked at him curiously.

"She said I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut about it to Matty" he moaned as the whole group erupted in more laughter.

"She's right" Sophie smiled as she unwrapped the package and revealed the fire truck.

"It' beautiful Sian" she said as she picked it up. "Thanks" she said as she looked into my eyes again.

…

Most of the parents went home by now. The only ones left was me, Chesney and Karen. Ugh Karen what kind of name is that anyways? She had her hand in Sophie's back pocket. "Fuck sakes am I really going to stand here and let her feel up my girlfriend, well she isn't really my girlfriend any more but…" my thoughts were rambling as they were interrupted when I saw Karen leaning in to kiss Sophie in the conservatory. "Right that is it" I hissed.

I walked in and pushed her as she was about to kiss Sophie.

"What the hell" she uttered.

"Sian" Sophie said quietly.

"What's your problem' Karen uttered at me.

"You feeling up my girlfriend" I spat pointing at Sophie.

"From what I've heard ex-girlfriend" she smirked. "Besides Sophie's with me now, you never forget your first love" she smirked as Sophie nudged her.

"First love" I scoffed. "Really she seemed just fine when she was screaming out my name" I snapped.

"Sian" Sophie said with a high pitch voice. I couldn't be bothered I was fuming with anger.

"Give me one good reason not to kick your ass" I spat at the girl. I could definitely take her, when you've stayed at St Claire's as long as I have; you learn a thing or two about self-defense.

"O well bring it on slapper" she said as she pushed me. I wanted punch her in the face when Sophie went to stand in front of her.

"STOP" she yelled as I lowered my hand. I was panting as I looked into her eyes. I shook my head and walked away. It hurt so much that she chose her over me.

…

Sophie pov

"What the fuck are you doing Karen" I hissed at her as Sian left the room. Sian had seemed so hurt, when I looked into her eyes. I swear I could see tears forming.

"What, I'm just defending myself, she started it" she huffed. I shook my head and headed for the door.

"Soph, wait I'm sorry. Look …" she said.

"Why did you tell her you were my first" I interrupted her.

"Why not" she said as I scoffed at her.

"You're unbelievable, you haven't changed a bit have you" I snapped.

"Don't be like that" she muttered.

"Look there's a reason why we broke up…. My heart wasn't in it and neither was yours for that matter" I stated.

"Yes it was" she argued.

"No it wasn't, the way you act around me….it's not the real deal" I stated.

"I know" she muttered as she took me by surprise.

"You do" I asked suspiciously.

"Yeah I see the way you look at her, you still love her don't you" she said as I sighed.

"Yeah that's the whole problem" I muttered and with that I left.

…

I heard some whispering going on between Chesney and Rosie.

"Is there anything I need to be worried about" I joked as I nudged Chesney.

"Uh no why" he said quickly as I frowned.

"Cause you're looking all cozy and whispering things" I stated.

"Soph there's nothing going on between me and Rosie if that's what you're worried about" he laughed.

"Well then what is… going on" I asked him.

"I need to show you something" he said as we headed for the bathroom.

"Okay so what did you want to…?" I started saying as Sian came in.

"Rosie what's going on" she asked as they quickly closed the door.

"What the fuck" Sian yelped.

"ROSIE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING" I screamed.

"You need to sort it out, so until you do that you're not coming out" I heard her say.

"WHAT! Rosie let us out…. NOW" I yelled, but it was no use they were gone.

"Well at least we can pee" Sian stated as she looked at me.

"If you're trying to be funny don't bother" I snapped at her as I shuffled past her.

"Oh trust me I wasn't, wouldn't want you smiling now would we" she snapped back as she went to sit down on the floor, her back leaning against the bathtub.

"As if I would pee in front of you" I spat as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh right we've been seeing each other naked for the last 3 months and now you start being shy"

"I'm not….. ughh I don't even why I bother talking to you" I stated as I could see a glint of hurt in her eyes.

"Well then don't, I spend a month with you while you weren't talking, I think I can handle a couple of hours"

"Fine" I snarled as I went to sit down on the toilet.

…

We had been giving each other the silent treatment for over an hour now when she sighed deeply as she rubbed her back. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, she was so beautiful. Karen was right I did still love her.

"You okay" I murmured as she finally looked up.

"NO Sophie I'M NOT, I'm locked in a bathroom with my ex-girlfriend, who cannot find a better use of her time than giving me shit. I'm sitting here with a person who hates my guts and the worst thing about it is that I still love you more than anything while you hate and I can't do shit about. AND on top of that I need to pee really badly" she shouted as she crossed her arms.

I gulped at her confession; the lump in my throat was getting bigger.

…

Sian pov

"Fuck sakes" I huffed as I got up. "There must be a way to get out of here" I said as I was trying to force the door. I caught Sophie looking at me with broken eyes.

"I don't hate you" she murmured as I stopped forcing the door.

"Really could've fooled me" I huffed.

"I love you" she stated as I sighed.

"Don't lie, it doesn't suit you" I stated as I continued. I felt so hurt that I didn't want to hear those kinds of things coming out of her mouth, they couldn't be true.

"I'm not" I heard her say. "Sian" she said as she took my hands of the doorknob. I looked into her hypnotizing eyes, I got lost.

"I love you, and it hurts…. So much" she started crying as I felt a lump growing in my throat.

"Don't" I whimpered as I got out of her grip.

"I know I hurt you, but you hurt me too" she said as I scoffed.

"YEAH and you don't forget to remind me of that every chance you get. You act like it was me who broke our relationship, but it was you. You broke up with me Sophie" I snapped at her as she was now crying.

"I know, but it still hurts. I couldn't handle the rejection, I'm sorry" she whimpered.

"I know I hurt you with that, but what would you've preferred that I'd have said yes and not mean it" I said as I was panting. I couldn't hold in the tears in any longer as I felt a warm tear stream down my cheek.

"No… I don't know" she stated.

"You know how hard it was for me to let you in, you know I have commitment issues and I'm trying to work on them I am" I whimpered.

"I know" she mumbled.

"Do you have any idea how much you freaked me out by proposing. I love you, I love you so much, but you didn't give me time to get my head around it, you were only thinking of you." I snapped at her as she looked down to the floor. She didn't say anything; she just looked at me with tears ruining her mascara. She took a step forward and cupped my face letting her lips brush against mine. I kissed her back for just a moment before pushing her away.

"Don't, you'll only make it worse" I whispered as she still didn't reply and crushed her lips against mine. I didn't have the strength to push her off this time as I felt her tong roam across my lip. I granted her access as our tongs were battling for domination.

I pushed her against the wall and started tugging at her trousers. I pulled them open; I didn't even bother to pull off her other pieces of clothing I just wanted to feel her. I started sucking on her tong as she moaned loudly.

She let go of my mouth and started to attack my neck as she spun me around and pushed me forcefully against the door. She pulled up my dress and pulled down my knickers as I did the same with her. She trusted her fingers into me as my fingers found her center and did the same. I moaned at her touch throwing my head against the door. Sophie reached up and roughly cupped my breast with her free hand, making me moan as I gripped her shoulder digging my nails into her skin. This isn't making love, this is fucking roughly. This is all about lust and passion.

I felt her fingers digging deep into as I started circling her clit violently. I knew she was close I could feel her tightening around my fingers. "Sian" she moaned with a husky voice that turned me on even more.

"Soph I'm gonna" I moaned as she curled her fingers again.

"Me too" she groaned as I felt my legs shudder when the orgasm took over my body. It wasn't long after I climaxed that Sophie let out her final moan as she reached her own climax. I took my fingers out of her and wiped them clean on my dress. She took out her fingers as I was panting.

She rested her head against the door and entwined our fingers. "I love you" she whispered as she smiled at me, but I couldn't return it. She leaned in for another kiss, but I turned my head as he let go of my hand and frowned.

"This doesn't change much Soph" I said quietly as her smile dropped.

"So what! I was just some random shag is that it" she snapped at me.

"What no! Of course not, it was amazing and….I do love you" I smiled at her as she smiled back.

"Then why…." She asked pleading with her eyes for an answer.

"How do I know you won't run out on me again when things get tough" I said as I looked at her.

"I won't" she said as she grabbed my arms and forced me to look at her.

"Prove it" I demanded.

"I….I still want to marry you" she said as I sighed.

"See this is exactly what I mean you don't…" I started saying.

"I meant that even though I still want to marry you, I will wait, until you're ready I'll wait I promise please Sian I love you, please…just give us another chance "she started crying.

"Don't cry Soph" I said as I wrapped my arms around her. "I thought you wouldn't be able to handle the daily reminder that it would hurt too much" I stated as she shook her head.

"Being away from you hurts more, please…. "She sobbed as I sighed.

"I just don't know if I can trust you or if you can trust me again" I said carefully

"I trust you, and I'll do anything to win you trust back I promise" she said as she hugged me tighter.

"Okay" I said quietly as she got out of the embrace.

"You mean it" she smiled.

"I wouldn't say if I didn't" I stated as she laughed through her sobs and kissed me tenderly. "I missed you, so much" I breathed as we got out of the kiss and she snaked her hands around my waist.

"Soph…." I said as she had her arms around my waist and her head resting on my shoulder.

"Mmmmh" she murmured.

"I still need to pee" I stated as she started laughing.

PS: Don't take offence if you're name is Karen I was just expressing Sian's Jealousy: p don't mean any harm by it.