Notes: As always, thanks to my betas, ContentedTwiCow, Sunflower Fanfiction, Jules, and AshesAshes. I couldn't do this without you!

Of the chapters I have written (14 so far) this is my very favorite.

Chapter Seven

After Edward's outburst, Rosalie and Emmett broke apart. Although, when they took a seat on the couch, his large hand settled on the back of Rose's neck. Edward was in the chair across from them, and Bella perched on the arm of it.

Emmett took charge of the conversation. "What is it you want to know, Edward?"

Edward forced himself to take a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "I just want to understand what I am now, and what it means to be a vampire."

Emmett nodded. "It can be overwhelming to wake up as a vampire, especially if it's unexpected."

Edward laughed hollowly. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Let me tell you what I know; afterward, you're free to ask any questions you have."

Edward nodded and sat back in his seat, his elbow brushing Bella's hip. They both flinched, although he suspected it was for different reasons.

"As far as anyone has been able to ascertain, vampires have been around nearly as long as humans. Humans—in their modern form—appeared roughly 200,000 years ago. Some time after that, another species began to emerge. Much like the vampire bat, mosquito, or tick, that species survived off blood. In this case, human blood."

"But how did that happen?" Edward asked. "How did it come to be in the first place?"

Emmett shrugged. "I believe the current theory is that some caveman somewhere had a small mutation in his DNA. He reproduced and passed that on. As the generations continued, the offspring began to live longer and drink blood to survive."

"Huh," Edward said thoughtfully. That explanation made more sense than any he had ever considered.

"I know we seem like magical creatures, but we really aren't. We just have better adaptations. Vampires probably began by drinking animal blood, but eventually humans became our prey. We are able to drink from humans without killing them and remove their memory of the event. We can choose to kill humans or not, and there are merits to both approaches. The advantage of killing animals is that you don't have to remove their memory or worry about how much blood you take. The downside of killing humans, of course, is that you have to find a way to dispose of the body, and too many unexplained deaths in one area can be problematic. It can arouse suspicion, so the upside of not killing is, of course, that it makes it much easier to avoid investigation from authorities. Some vampires—like Bella here—prefer to drink without killing. I, myself, am indifferent. Generally speaking, I don't kill, but sometimes it can be thrilling; especially if you're feeding with your mate."

"How did Bella change me?" Edward asked. "She bit me once, left a scar but no memories, and then she bit me again, and I changed."

"You drank from her, yes?" Emmett asked, and Edward nodded, remembering his lips against her smooth, white throat.

"That's the only way you can become a vampire, you have to be bitten and drained, and then feed from the vampire who bit you."

"The … substance in our veins—I know it isn't blood, but what is it?" Edward asked. "Bella just called it quicksilver."

Emmett nodded. "That is one name for it. It's a slightly old-fashioned one. As far as what it's made up of, I can't give you the exact chemical breakdown. It goes by several names, although aevum and animus are the most common. They come from the Latin words for life or spirit."

"Huh," Edward said again, rather fascinated by all of the information Emmett was giving him. "Do you know how it works scientifically? How it changes someone from human to vampire?"

Emmett shook his head. "I'm sorry; I don't. I would assume that the aevum changes the human body on the cellular level, mutating the DNA."

"There doesn't seem to be any written history on any of this," Edward said, frustrated. "None that I could find, anyway."

"Things like that are kept quite secret; the majority of our history is passed on orally, and even then it isn't talked about much," Emmett explained. "Vampire strength developed more slowly than the urge for blood, and for a while, we were quite vulnerable to humans. We hid our history to protect ourselves."

"Is there anyone who knows the entire history?" Edward asked. Bella and Emmett exchanged significant glances. Edward sighed in frustration at the weird secrecy between them.

After a moment, Emmett nodded. "There are a few."

More questions whirled through Edward's brain, and he changed the subject. "Can you at least explain this mating thing to me, because frankly, I don't understand it at all."

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged glances, and Edward heard Bella huff in annoyance.

"As I'm sure you've noticed, vampires can be extremely … volatile," Emmett said, and Edward nodded his agreement. "Our emotions are extremely close to the surface, and we're easily riled. We are predators, make no mistake about that. We hunt, we kill, and we defend our territory when necessary. With too much aggression, we could wipe ourselves out as a species, or wipe out our food source. The mating instinct appears to have evolved to balance that. A mated vampire is more stable than an unmated one. He's less likely to become so aggressive that he kills others of his kind. He's also better able to blend into human society. On the flip side, he also creates a new vampire when he meets his mate as a human. Actually, there seem to be more female vampires who find human mates than male, but that certainly isn't always the case."

"What about gay vampires?"

Emmett's lips twitched in amusement, but he nodded. "Yes, it's about the same percentage of the vampire population as in humans."

"The word mate implies … procreation. There aren't creepy little vampire children running around, are there?" Edward asked in disgust. The other three vampires chuckled.

Emmett shook his head, "No, we absolutely cannot reproduce. The aevum, or quicksilver, as Bella calls it, strengthens our bodies and makes us nearly impervious. But it also makes us sterile, unable to create life or sustain it. I think the theory is that the adaptation that allows us to change a human came about because we couldn't reproduce otherwise."

Edward nodded, very glad to hear that. The thought of vampire children was … disturbing to him. "So, evolution paired off vampires to keep them calm then?" he asked, wanting to understand more about the mating process.

"Essentially."

"I don't understand how we're supposed to know who our mate is," Edward said. "It all sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me. Bella kept talking about my smell and how I'm supposed to just know we belong together."

"As I'm sure you've noticed, our senses are highly acute—far more acute than those of humans. Trust those senses, Edward. I'm sure you've smelled other human women since you were changed, and now you've been around another vampire woman, as well," Emmett said, indicating his mate, Rosalie. "Do any of them smell like Bella?"

He shook his head no.

"I understand you're angry with her for changing you, but isn't there a part of you that finds her … appealing?" Edward grudgingly indicated that there was, and Emmett continued. "That's your body's way of telling you that you are mates."

"But how do I know that there isn't someone else more appealing to me?" He asked, irritated by the discussion, even though he'd been the one to start it. "Maybe I'll walk by a human tomorrow, and she'll smell twice as good as Bella."

Bella snarled, her head whipping around to look at him. "Bella," Emmett said, the warning in his voice was clear. She settled down, but not before giving him a sulky look.

"It's not impossible, I suppose. But Bella isn't lying to you. She recognizes you as her mate, and I think if you would learn to trust your instincts, you'd see that it's true. I suspect you're too much in your head, too cerebral, too human still. You need to let your animal side out."

"What if I don't want to?" Edward argued. "I don't want to be mated to Bella."

Edward felt Bella's body tensing next to him. He glanced over at her and saw her shoulders had drawn in, and she was lightly shaking. He felt a strange twinge of regret when he saw silvery tears trailing down her face.

Bella abruptly stood and disappeared out the wide doors that seemed to lead out to a balcony. Although she didn't slam the door, it had the same effect, and the room seemed chilly all of a sudden. "Or mated to anyone else for that matter," Edward added, almost as an afterthought.

Emmett sighed and frowned after her. "Bella said you haven't gone through the claiming ritual yet."

"I don't really understand what she means by that," Edward said. Rosalie rolled her eyes and got up as well, disappearing into a room at the back of the loft. Clearly, she was done with the conversation.

"Typically, when a vampire turns a human that they are mates with, there's an instinctive ritual they go through. For example, when you awoke, the hunger for blood was strong, right?"

Edward shrugged. "I suppose. It wasn't unmanageable though. Frankly, I was too pissed about being changed to notice."

"Well, ordinarily, you would have immediately wanted to drink blood. Once you did, your next urge would be to claim Bella as your mate. You would have shared the blood you drank, and then fucked her. After that, you would have performed the final part of the ritual. Some vampires just bite each other and exchange the aevum that way. Many others make it far more ritualistic. Sort of like a hand fasting, or a wedding. In that case, they usually slice open their palms and mingle their blood, exchanging a few words and promising to bind themselves together for eternity."

Edward laughed, relieved. "So, it's just a symbolic ritual then."

Emmett's mouth turned down at the corners, and his voice was somber. "Don't think for a moment it's something to be done on a whim or in vain, Edward. We do not perform it lightly."

Edward scoffed. "So what if I went through this stupid little ritual with Bella and then decided to walk away? What's the worst that could happen?"

Emmett's expression darkened. "It wouldn't be pretty," he said grimly. "Bella would be bonded to you at that point."

"Isn't that already what's happened?" Edward asked.

"No," Emmett said firmly. "Not even close. You're hesitant, and it's certainly hurting Bella at the moment, but she's tough. She can survive your rejection now, but if you performed the ritual, Bella would be physically connected to you. If you rejected her then, she probably wouldn't survive it … not mentally anyway. For that matter, neither would you. The ritual would have bonded you together. You might be strong enough and stubborn enough to walk away from her … to fight that connection. But the longer and harder you fought it, the more it would tear you apart not to be with her. You'd both go mad."

"How is it any worse than some human breaking up or getting divorced?" Edward asked.

"Because we're not talking about little human emotions, Edward," he snarled. "This isn't promising to love someone 'til death do you part, or until you get bored with them. That's fifty … sixty years at the most maybe. A marriage is something that can be undone with a signature and the decree of a judge. Yeah, it hurts a human to lose the person they love, but this is something entirely different."

"But why?" Edward asked in frustration, trying to wrap his brain around everything. None of it made any sense to him.

"Once again, I can't actually explain the biology of it, but essentially, mingling blood does change both the vampires on a cellular level. They are bound together."

"Okay …" Edward said, still puzzled.

"Even more than that is the emotional connection. It's intense, Edward. It's a promise meant to last for eternity. If you were killed by another vampire, Bella would die, too."

"She'd just drop dead, like that?"

"No, but she'd lose the will to live." Edward gave the other vampire a look of disbelief, but Emmett merely shook his head. "You scoff, but it happens. There is no such concept as finding a mate twice in your life. If you lose the one you're meant to be with, there's no reason to go on. If you went through the ritual with her and walked away, it would kill you both."

Edward frowned and changed the subject, uncomfortable with Emmett's vehemence about vampire mates. "Earlier you said something to Bella about it happening before—mating going wrong I mean—what did you mean by that?"

The other vampire scowled. "That's not my story to tell. Bella has a complicated past. She's strong, but she's been through a lot. Being rejected by her mate would be more than she could handle. That's the dark side of vampire mating, when it goes wrong, it leads to madness."

Edward would have scoffed at the idea, but there was something so grave in Emmett's gaze and tone that he didn't dare patronize him. "What do you mean by go mad?"

"Most likely, lose all of her control. She'd go into a frenzy, killing as many humans as she could before one of us took her out, put her out of her misery. When vampire mating goes wrong, it's gruesome. We self-destruct. The same happens when we lose our mate."

Edward shuddered. "Are there laws for us? Are there vampires who enforce them?"

"No. Just a set of behaviors we all generally follow. If another vampire gets out of control, we take care of it. No one has appointed themselves as ruler. There are no judges, or vampire police. We take care of our own. I myself have taken out a mad vampire once or twice in my years. It's unfortunate but necessary for everyone's sake."

"This is all way more complicated than I know how to handle. I just … never wanted any of this."

The dark haired vampire nodded; his expression was solemn and a little sympathetic. "I know. And to a certain extent, I do understand it. Rosalie didn't ask me before she changed me, and it was shocking at first."

"How long did it take for you to claim each other?"

Emmett scoffed. "As soon as the human blood touched my lips I knew I had to be inside her and make her mine. You're an anomaly, Edward. It's rare for a vampire to resist like this."

He nodded, frowning, his head whirling with thoughts about everything he'd learned today.

"Can I offer you one piece of advice?" Emmett asked.

"Sure."

"Ask Bella about her past. You need to know what she's been through."

Edward made a non-committal sound of agreement and changed the subject completely. "Bella told me you could get me access to my property and money."

Emmett nodded. "It'll take a little time. We'll watch the building, and see if the landlord decides to sell it or donate it to charity. Either way, I can arrange to purchase it using several false accounts. There won't be any trail connecting it to you, so the police won't be suspicious. If you want it all, that can be arranged, if not, give me a list of what you do want."

"I'll get you the list," Edward said.

"The money will take longer," Emmett said. "It would be suspicious if it just disappeared; the police certainly have your accounts flagged for activity. The easiest way to gain access is for a relative of yours to appear with a legitimate claim to your estate."

Edward frowned. "But there's no one."

Emmett shrugged. "That's not important. I can create a fake identity. I do it all the time."

"You're a forger? Like I.D. cards and passports?" Edward asked.

Emmett leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs. He gave Edward a half-smile and nodded. "Among other things. I'm a hacker and a general jack of all trades. I'm very good at what I do."

Edward nodded, rather liking the serious, dark-haired vampire now that he was getting to know him. "Can I ask an odd question?" he said impulsively.

"Sure."

"How old are you? I mean, how long have you been a vampire?"

"I was turned in 1834," Emmett said, and Edward blinked in surprise. He'd thought Bella was old.

"And Rosalie?"

The other vampire chided him, "Don't you know it's rude to ask a lady's age?" But he smiled anyway and answered. "She was turned in 1789."

"Huh," Edward replied. "How long have you known Bella?"

"We met in 1919. But if you want the story there, you'll have to ask Bella."

"Right," Edward said with a sigh. "I need to know her history."

Emmett nodded. "For both your sakes, it would be best."

Shortly after their conversation wrapped up, Bella returned to the room. She was calm and composed, and nothing indicated that she'd been in tears just a short while before. Emmett gave Edward a cell phone before he left. Of course, other than Emmett, Rosalie, and Bella, he had no one he could call. But it still felt comforting when he slipped it into his pocket—familiar somehow. Maybe it was just that it was a vestige of his humanity, but Edward liked knowing he had it, just in case.

In case of what, he didn't know.

Bella didn't speak once on the drive back to the apartment. There was nothing fierce about her; she seemed wilted almost, soft and fragile. He remembered Emmett's words about her past, but he couldn't quite bring himself to ask her about it.

He watched her as they rode the elevator up to her floor, but she never once glanced at him.

~Dreaming~

They spent the next few days in near silence, with only the occasional word between them. Edward's mind was full, working overtime to process everything he'd learned from Emmett. It was comforting, having that knowledge. It made him less anxious, and he felt more in control. Bella was so silent, so still, he hardly knew what to make of her. For a moment, he wondered if this was the madness Emmett had talked about, but her behavior seemed to be the opposite of madness. There was no frenzy, no wild self-destruction—only endless stillness and silence.

Edward had never been particularly good at keeping still. He was a restless person, accustomed to working ten, twelve hour days at minimum, and even more when the work called for it. He had no job now, no purpose. Grim thoughts passed through his head that if he were fucking Bella, it would give him some way to spend his time, but a career as a mated vampire wouldn't exactly give him job satisfaction or fulfillment. Sexual fulfillment? Yes. He had no doubts that giving in to her would give him enormous satisfaction in that regard, but it still wasn't a purpose.

He didn't know how to broach the subject with Bella, and she hardly seemed to be talking anyway, so he spent his time searching for more information on vampires. He didn't have a science background, but his intelligence had always been above average, and he found that his aptitude for learning had only grown with the change. It wasn't that he was smarter, but it was easier to hold onto large amounts of knowledge at one time and sift through it more efficiently. It was easier to see the connections between things, to grasp concepts that would have been slippery and difficult to comprehend before. Edward grudgingly admitted that it was another positive aspect of being a vampire.

His research focused on biology and genetics, trying to understand Emmett's explanation of how vampires came to be. What he couldn't understand was how a human was changed into a vampire. It made no sense, and that bothered him. Edward was a numbers man; he liked neat, orderly data. Evolution seemed too fluid, too prone to random chance. Sure, there were trends and forecasts he'd had to track as an investment banker; he needed to be able to grasp larger picture to predict what might happen. He understood natural selection for the survival of a species, but genetics seemed to be so much more random, and it frustrated him.

While Edward researched, Bella did nothing. She curled up in a soft chair in the living room and stared forward. Her face was a blank mask, her eyes vague and unfocused. Although he didn't want to, he was starting to worry about her. For two days, she did nothing but sit in the chair, not even going to her bedroom to pretend to sleep. She just … sat.

By the next evening, Edward couldn't stand it anymore and finally snapped. "I need to feed," he barked at her.

Bella's blank eyes swung to face him, and she blinked, focusing on him. "Okay."

She rose to her feet, her movements so graceful and fluid that he found his eyes lingering on her body. He was relieved to see her responding to him, moving, speaking. He'd been half afraid that she was completely catatonic.

She was quiet while they dressed in coats and scarves and left her building to head into the park. This time they went further, walking deeper into the wooded area. Bella seemed almost normal, other than her silence, and for the first time he felt compelled to make conversation. "Are … are you okay?" he asked with a frown.

"I'm fine, Edward," Bella said, sounding tired. Edward knew that vampires didn't get physically tired, so her exhaustion had to be mental. He felt a twinge of regret, Emmett's warnings ringing in his head. "Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly.

"Don't. Just … don't." She looked away from him, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her coat and burrowing deeper into her scarf. She couldn't be cold; it had to be psychological, as well.

Edward didn't respond, although he had no idea what she meant. Don't what? He wondered. Don't speak? Don't ask any questions?

A short while later they came upon a homeless man, shuffling down the path on unsteady feet. The sole of his right shoe was coming loose, and it made an odd clapping sound with every step. As the two vampires approached the man on the sidewalk, he stopped. He looked at Bella with wide eyes, reaching out to touch her hair with one fingertip. His hands were filthy, crisscrossed with scars, but so gentle as he ghosted his fingers along the back of one of her glossy, dark curls.

"You're an angel," he said, exhaling the words with a reverential expression.

Bella smiled sadly and shook her head, her voice gentle when she spoke. "No, I'm not an angel."

She did look a bit like an angel, Edward thought to himself. Even in the light of a flickering streetlamp, she was other-worldly. Her coat was a creamy white, and the scarf she wore was gauzy and light, wrapping around her neck and draping down her back. Her skin was even paler than the fabric and her hair and eyes were so dark that Edward was struck again by how beautiful she was.

"Yes, you are," the man insisted. His old, wrinkled face creased in a frown for a moment, and then he gave her a smile. It was gummy, with more teeth missing than not. It was the happiest, most content smile Edward had seen in a long, long time. "You're an angel, come to take me to my maker."

Edward rolled his eyes, expecting Bella to do the same, but instead, she looked stricken. "No," she uttered hoarsely. "No, I can't do that."

The man gave her a puzzled frown, and then his expression seemed to melt into sadness. "You have to. I need you to make it stop."

Bella swallowed hard and shook her head.

"Make what stop?" Edward asked. For the first time, the man's clouded eyes swung to him. He squinted at Edward for a long moment.

"You're both angels," he commented, as if confirming something to himself. "But she's prettier."

He began to laugh loudly, verging on the edge of hysteria, but Bella didn't reply she only stared at him. Edward wondered if the man was drunk, crazy, or both.

"Make what stop?" Edward asked again, and the man's gaze returned to him as he abruptly stopped laughing.

He gave Edward a forlorn look. "The pain. I want you to make the pain stop. I'm an old man, and I'm tired. This weather hurts my bones, and I don't have a soft place to rest my head. Just make it all stop. Take me to my maker," he begged, tugging at Edward's lapel. "Please, I don't wanna go on."

"I can't," Bella said harshly. "Not … not anymore. I won't do it."

"Mister?" the man looked at Edward. "Will you do it?"

Edward shook his head, not fully understanding what the man was even asking. "What? No … I ... I can't either."

He wasn't about to agree to do something he didn't understand, and if Bella wasn't willing, he wasn't about to go against her. Whatever else he felt about Bella, he trusted that he could follow her guide when it came to interacting with humans.

"I'm sorry," Bella sobbed. "You'll have to find someone else."

She fled, moving too fast to pass as human, and Edward followed. The old man cried out behind them, his voice verging on the edge of hysterical. "Don't go, angels, don't go! I need you to make it stop!"

They were deep in the woods by the time Bella finally stopped, but the man's voice continued to echo in Edward's ears. "What the hell was that?" Edward asked.

She was leaning against a tree trunk, her palms resting against the bark. Her forehead was pressed to the backs of her hands, and her shoulders were shaking. Edward felt a strange urge to go over to her—to comfort her—but he didn't know why or how or if he should. He stepped closer, and then stopped when he was just a few inches from her. "Bella?" he asked.

"He knew what we are, or at least that we're different. He wanted me to kill him, Edward. He's old, his body is giving out on him, and his mind is gone. He wanted an end to the misery."

"Then why didn't you?" Edward asked. It didn't seem like a bad thing to kill someone who wanted to die. "Is his blood bad, dangerous to us somehow?"

"No, nothing in human blood can harm us. I just … I can't be the angel of death … not anymore."

Notes: I'm dying to know what you thought of Emmett's explanation of how vampires came to be. And what about the odd encounter with the homeless man? Are you eager to find out what Bella meant by her cryptic statement about being the angel of death?