Notes: As always, thanks to my betas, ContentedTwiCow, Sunflower Fanfiction, Jules, and AshesAshes. I couldn't do this without you!

Chapter Eight

"I can't be the angel of death … not anymore."

Bella's words echoed in Edward's head, mingling with the man's strange outburst. Her explanation about what the man wanted finally made sense of the odd encounter, but he didn't know what she meant about being the angel of death. Did that mean she'd been an angel of death before? There were a thousand questions running through his mind, but he wasn't sure he was ready for the answers. Knowing Bella's past would mean knowing her. He wasn't sure he could hate her quite so much if he knew her, and he wasn't willing to let that go.

They walked in silence for a short way, both lost in their own thoughts. Bella seemed to pull herself together when she spotted a young man approaching them. He was neat and cleanly dressed and walked down the sidewalk with a confident stride. She straightened up, wiping the tears from her cheeks as she sauntered toward him. There was hardly time for the man to register her approach, and her sudden appearance made him jump in surprise.

"Where'd you come from, doll?" the guy asked with a cocky grin as she got closer to him. "Looking for some fun tonight?"

Bella smiled darkly at him, her voice low and seductive. "Oh, you have no idea."

The man blinked at her in stupefied astonishment, and when his gaze went foggy, she leaned in and bit. Bella drank from him quickly and efficiently then thrust the man's limp body toward Edward.

"Drink."

He did, although he found he didn't get the rush from it he normally did. Bella's odd mood had rubbed off on him, and he was uncomfortable and off-kilter. Still, the blood was refreshing, making the hunger in him recede.

Bella sealed the wound, wiped the man's memory, and deposited him on the ground by the path, propped against a tree. The moment their victim stirred and struggled to his feet, Bella was gone, moving down the sidewalk so fast it took Edward a moment to catch up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Edward asked.

She whirled around to face him and growled. "Stop it. I don't know why you're pretending you care right now. I get it, Edward. You don't want me; you have no desire to be my mate. I … fucked up somehow. I shouldn't have changed you. Maybe it's because you weren't willing, or maybe there's just something wrong with me. Whatever it is, we aren't compatible, and you can stop throwing it in my face that you don't want me. I'm done hearing it. I'll do what you want, I'll teach you how to be a vampire and then you can leave, okay? Emmett will help you get started once you're ready to go off on your own."

He felt a stab of guilt when her voice broke, and her lower lip quivered. Edward noticed a few drops of blood clinging to it and, instinctively, he swiped his thumb across her lip. Her breath caught, and he smeared the blood back and forth slowly as their eyes met. Her lips opened, her tongue peeking out to gently touch the pad of his thumb. Their eyes locked; the air growing heated and charged between them. When his thumb was clean her tongue retreated, and he withdrew his hand. Her lower lip was still stained with the man's blood. Edward leaned in and saw her eyes widen. He gently touched his tongue to her lip, tracing it across the soft, full flesh, licking the blood off.

He wasn't thinking about all the reasons he was angry with her, or the fact that he was only making the situation worse. The sight of blood on her lips compelled him to share it with her.

At first, he only intended to make a few gentle swipes and then pull away, but the taste was so good he couldn't stop. Combined with the taste of her mouth, it was better than drinking the blood from the human had been; it was sweeter, richer. Without thought, he opened his mouth, tasting the blood on her tongue and hungrily searching for more.

The search for blood became a kiss, and he still didn't stop. Long after the blood was gone their lips were still moving together. His tongue tasted hers, and he dimly realized that the sweetness he was sampling belonged solely to Bella. Even that thought didn't make him pull away though. Instead, he pressed her back until she was pinned between him and the tree, her body molding to his. She seemed soft and pliant in his arms, and although desire raced through him like always, there was something different about this.

Bella tore her mouth from his and spoke, her voice a soft rasp that made his hair stand on end. "I know you won't claim me as your mate, but give me something, please. I need to feel you touch me."

She closed her eyes, resting the back of her head against the tree. Edward could see her narrow white throat against the soft fabric of her scarf, and he dragged it down, his thumb deftly flicking the top two buttons of the coat open. He began at the top of the jacket, dragging his nose up from her collarbone and breathing her scent in deeply; it was heady and drugging. The feel of her skin on his as he skimmed up her neck to her ear made him light-headed.

She shivered, letting out a soft moan that became a purr when he tilted his head so he could let his slightly-open mouth linger on the skin there. He sucked lightly at first, and then harder when she responded. She was shaking in his arms when he pulled away, and even then, it was only a few inches. "Do you want me to drink from you, Bella?"

"Please," she whimpered. "Oh, please."

His teeth sliced across her throat easily and the heady liquid spilled into his mouth. Quicksilver, aevum, whatever you called it, he was sure that nothing in the world tasted better. He drank it down, letting it coat his mouth, cover his tongue, fill him.

Her tiny, needy whimpers only spurred him on. He felt her small hands clutch at his coat but otherwise she was still, allowing him to take control. Eventually, with a small, reluctant sigh, he stopped drinking. His tongue took a long, slow lick across the wound he'd made. He could feel her body shaking against him and pulled back far enough to see her face. Her eyes were still closed; thick, heavy lashes lay against her pale cheeks, and her lips were parted. He could see her barely reined-in desperation, her need for him. He could smell it. Before he could stop himself, his hands were up under her coat, opening her jeans, and then under the fabric.

The moan Bella let out as soon as his fingers touched her wet flesh was something he would never forget. It was a moan of relief. His body's hunger for her mingled with the guilty feeling that although he was giving her what she'd asked for, he was only making the situation worse. But as his fingers delved inside of her, the guilt was pushed aside, and all he could think about was her.

It took so little for him to bring her pleasure; two fingers inside her working together with a thumb on her clit, and she was convulsing against his hand, her body shaking, her lip firmly clamped between her teeth.

Edward could feel the scream she wanted to let loose and covered her mouth with his own, trying to convince himself he was only doing it to keep her quiet—to keep from drawing attention. But he couldn't. He wanted to feel her lips on his. He wanted to swallow her cries of pleasure, take them in himself.

He could have stopped then, but he didn't. He continued to stroke and tease her, drawing the pleasure out, a part of him fascinated by the way she reacted to his touch. Bella was still shuddering when he finally withdrew his hand. She pulled her lips from his, eyes downcast as she righted her clothing. Before he could even register what she was doing, she stepped forward, pressing her body against him and burying her face against his neck. His left arm automatically closed around her, tucking her close. She pushed the fabric of his scarf and collar of his coat aside, burrowing against him. Once she settled, he felt the whoosh of her breath against his neck, soft and warm and somehow so right.

She seemed to fit against him. As if she'd been made for me, he thought. Edward closed his eyes, fighting back the thought, fighting back the fact that every molecule in his body seemed to be screaming the same thing at him. Mate, his mind whispered. Mine.

Edward gritted his teeth and glanced down at his right hand. It was glistening, and he had to fight himself to keep from licking his fingers clean. He could smell the rich, dizzying scent of her on him, and he wanted to taste it. The desire burned through him, but he forced himself to wipe her arousal off on his jeans. It didn't remove the scent, though. In fact, it only seemed to intensify in the air around them. It was as if he was covering himself in her scent, marking himself.

A low growl rumbled through his throat, but whether it was anger or desire he couldn't quite say. He felt Bella's lips brush his skin.

Once.

Twice.

Her lips parted, and the brushing kisses became soft, open-mouthed ones. He closed his eyes, sinking in to the feeling despite his better judgment telling him it was a dangerous move.

Her lips felt warm as her soft, wet tongue teased the skin there, rasping over stubble as she lapped right over the place where his artery pulsed. One small change in angle and she could slice through the skin, let the quicksilver spill over her tongue. She could take him inside her. His already-hard cock throbbed at the thought, and he moved their bodies backwards, one arm still around her, the other braced on the tree trunk. Pinned between the tree and his body, she was utterly helpless.

His hips shifted restlessly, the difference in their height making his aching cock rub up against her stomach, rather than between her thighs where he wanted it. He tightened his arm around her shoulders and lifted. She wound her legss against his hips, helping his cock settle into the V of her thighs.

Bella's lips on his neck grew more desperate, and when her ankles locked behind him, it forced him even tighter against her. Despite the fabric of their clothes, she felt hot, and he instinctively began to move. Thrusting, rutting, their movements were frantic and desperate. Edward could hear the small growling sounds she made against his throat, and he felt bark crumble and splinter under his fingers. He threw his head back as the trembling in her thighs increased. He knew she was about to tip over the edge into orgasm, and he wanted to feel it. He wanted to be inside her when she did.

Edward moaned aloud, picturing the way she'd feel clenching around his cock, how right it would be if he came inside her. His dick throbbed at the image as he snarled in anticipation. He thrust at her again, making her cry out against his neck. His eyes screwed tightly shut as he pictured the way they'd both tilt their heads and bite each other simultaneously as they came. He shuddered at the thought, imagining the way it would feel to share the quicksilver between them as he spilled inside her.

His voice was so low and rough he hardly recognized it when he spoke. "I want …"

"What do you want, Edward?" Bella asked, her hips continuing to move against his, as her hand twisted in his hair, sending jolting shocks of pleasure through him.

"I don't know," he cried out in frustration. "I just want." It burned in every cell of his body, this strange, unnamable need. The urge crawled under his skin, singed him, and obliterated his every rational thought. It was more powerful than words and could only be assuaged by action. Hazily, as if he was watching from outside himself, he pulled his arm out from behind Bella's back and clasped both her hands in his, slamming them against the tree trunk over their heads.

Bella gasped and roughly lapped at his throat, scraping her teeth across his skin. The tiniest hint of pressure and she'd break the skin. She nuzzled against him and against his neck. "I know what you need, Edward, I can give it to you. Please let me give it to you."

"Yes," he panted, his mind a swirling mess of need and hunger.

It wasn't until he felt her teeth nick his throat that he realized what she meant. The stinging slice of pain along with the feeling of his life force beginning to flow out of him brought him back to reality. What he'd been asking for without realizing it.

Edward ripped his body away from hers, recognizing how much it hurt to do so. A sharp, stinging ache bloomed across every inch of his body. His mind cleared, but the needy, desperate urge didn't.

"You tricked me," he snarled.

She staggered and regained her footing, her expression twisting into one of wide-eyed bewilderment. "Tricked you?" she asked.

"Tricked me. Told me you knew I didn't want to be your mate and then tried to make it happen anyway. You were going to drink from me, force me to do the ritual. Force me to belong to you." He spat the words at her, enraged at the way she'd manipulated him and made him think he wanted it.

"No, no, Edward, I … I didn't mean to. I just got caught up in the moment, you have to believe me. I swear it." She stepped forward, her hands clutching at his jacket frantically, her eyes wild and frightened.

He shook her off with a low growl of warning. "Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me again."

"Edward, please …" she said through a gasp, her anguished expression making his chest ache. He hated that he felt anything for her at all. The twinge of remorse at her obvious pain, the desire to fuck her, and the white-hot anger at her manipulation battled within him.

"I am done with your scheming and your manipulation, Bella, done with it. I should have known better than to get close to you. I don't trust you." He pointed a finger at her and continued. "You are going to teach me how to pull memories from the humans we feed on, and the minute I know how, I am out of here."

~Dreaming~

In the weeks that followed, Edward remained cold and distant. He spent his time researching vampires and genetics. Bella bought a laptop for him, and although he resented not having his own money to use, he was too curious not to use the gift. He spread out at the otherwise unused dining room table, working tirelessly, with books and pads of paper scattered around him. Every time he thought he'd answered one of his questions, six more popped up.

The only time he interacted with Bella was when they hunted together. Otherwise, he buried himself in research while she floated around the apartment like a ghost, silent and listless. Her timidity unnerved him, and so did the long periods of silent stillness she seemed to fall into. The only spark of life in her seemed to be when they were on the hunt, and even then, it was muted.

She tried to teach him how to manipulate memories, but he struggled with it. He grew frustrated by the slow progress, convinced that she was keeping something from him.

"There's something you're not telling me," he growled. "I know it."

"There's nothing, Edward," she said pleadingly. "I swear."

The human who lay limp in his arms blinked at him dazedly. "So pretty," she murmured, reaching up to touch his face.

He huffed in irritation and batted her hand away, turning to look at Bella. "Tell me again."

"Can you feel the low humming in her mind, like an electric tingle?" Bella asked for the umpteenth time.

He closed his eyes and nodded, zeroing in on the strange feeling. It wasn't that he could see her memories exactly, but he could feel them. They buzzed almost, and the newer and more vivid the memories, the stronger the sensation became.

"Tug it toward you."

He focused on drawing the humming toward him, bringing it forward, but as always; it seemed to snap back the moment he thought he had it.

Their victim whimpered, able to feel what he was doing. Bella was capable of doing it so fast that the human was unaware of it, but the girl in his arms could feel the strange sensation of him poking around in her mind, and she was growing frightened. His other-worldly beauty and intoxicating allure weren't enough to calm her. He looked down and tried to smile reassuringly at the girl, but she struggled in his arms, her terror palpable.

"Don't kill me, please, just let me go," she begged. Edward winced, but tightened his grip a little, unwilling to let her leave until he was sure she wouldn't remember the incident.

"Shh," Bella soothed, stepping closer, her fingertips stroking the girl's hair. "It's okay. We won't hurt you anymore; just let us take this memory away, and we'll be done with you. You can go home and when you wake up, you won't remember any of this, I promise."

Whether it was her soothing words or something else, the girl seemed reassured as she lay calmly in Edward's arms again.

"Try again, Edward. But this time, picture the memory leaving through her ear or her mouth or something like that if it's easier."

He nodded, a little unsure of why that would make a difference, but he was willing to try anything if he could just quit torturing the poor girl. He considered her for a moment, wondering which he should choose. Pulling it through her ear seemed odd and tugging her memory through her nose reminded Edward a bit too much of the way ancient Egyptians removed the brains from mummies, so he settled on her mouth.

He tugged again, and the memory left her as he pictured it slipping out from between her slightly-parted lips, as if she was speaking the words. The energy dissipating into the night air and was gone.

The girl went limp, her gaze soft and blank. Edward looked up at Bella and a genuine smile lifted her lips. "You did it, Edward."

He felt a surge of pride and found himself smiling back at her. He gently deposited the girl on a bench, arranging her limbs carefully, knowing she'd wake again in a moment, and other than being a little tired, she'd be just fine.

They watched the girl to make sure she made it home safe before walking back to Bella's apartment. The tension between them seemed to have eased, and Bella no longer appeared so ghost-like.

She didn't speak again until they were back inside her apartment as she headed into her bedroom. "You did great, Edward."

"Thanks." His gaze met hers and something passed between them, some thawing of the frosty tension that had been lingering for weeks. He couldn't help but see the worry in her eyes, the fear that he wasn't sure how to respond to. "I should probably practice more," he said suddenly. "Make sure tonight wasn't just a fluke."

Bella nodded; the tension and worry easing as her face relaxed. "That sounds like a good idea."

They lingered in the hallway outside her bedroom, neither of them turning to walk away for a long while. Eventually, Bella sighed and opened the door, disappearing inside. He was left staring after her, the murmured, "goodnight, Edward," lingering in the air.

He stood there a little longer, his eyes fixed on the closed door. With a sigh, he walked away, returning to his makeshift office in her dining room. Rather than the single-minded focus he'd had for research lately, he was distracted with thoughts of Bella.

Now that Edward knew how to remove memories, he could leave. But rather than the relief he expected to be feeling, he was apprehensive. He still resented what Bella had done, but if he left, he'd be entirely alone. It would've been no different from how he'd been living as a human these last few years, and yet it suddenly bothered him.

His internal struggle over Bella and what she'd done to him was complicated, but at least she was familiar. He'd grown accustomed to knowing she was there as he worked, even when they weren't speaking. Edward didn't like it, but he had to admit that a part of him wasn't willing to leave Bella just yet.

He got up and walked toward her bedroom, his fist poised to knock for the longest time. Eventually, he knocked forcefully on her door, the sound echoing in the otherwise silent apartment.

Bella opened the door with wide eyes, her long hair trailing down over her shoulders. She was dressed in pajamas again, this time a silky dove grey that made her skin look even more pale and translucent. "Yes?"

Edward's breath caught at the sight of the need in her eyes as she gazed up at him, and the tight ache that had been lingering in his chest, right behind his sternum, finally seemed to crack open.

His lips parted, and they were both surprised by the words that left his mouth. "Tell me about your past."

Notes: Well, it seems like Vampward's making some progress, huh? I know you're all dying to know the story of Bella's past, but with the holidays coming up I am going to have to take a short break. My birthday (the 18th) and Christmas both fall on a Wednesday, so I am going to take those two weeks off from posting. I need the time to enjoy the celebrations and get caught up on a few things.

I will be back with the next chapter on Wed. Jan 1! Hope you have a lovely rest of December and if you celebrate any of the winter holidays I hope they are wonderful!