Notes: As always, thanks to my betas, ContentedTwiCow, Sunflower Fanfiction, Jules, and AshesAshes. I couldn't do this without you!

~Chapter Ten~

Edward had no concept of how long it was before Bella finally stepped back from him, and neither had any idea how to act after they finally separated. Uneasy, sidelong glances were all they shared as he headed out the door of her bedroom, and she slipped under the covers to rest. Her strange habit of pretending to sleep seemed less bizarre to him now. He suddenly wanted to slide in beside her and close his eyes, curl his body around hers and forget the rest of the world even existed. His mind just needed to turn off for a while.

He paused in the doorway and looked back at Bella. She was on her side, her eyes closed with one arm under her pillow and the other stretched across the empty side of the bed. He could picture her hand resting lightly on his chest as she curled around him.

Edward finally turned and left the room, uncomfortable with the strange turn the night had taken and the way he couldn't seem to muster up any anger toward her the way he had before.

Not in the mood to do any more research, Edward settled on the couch with a book. He instead found his mind wandering through everything that had happened since Bella changed him, trying to make sense of it all.

As much as he still felt that it was fundamentally wrong of Bella to change him without his consent, hearing about her past made him understand why she'd done it a little better. He supposed he shouldn't be terribly surprised that she'd changed him; in some ways, she was still the impulsive young woman she'd been when she became a vampire. Reconciling her age was going to take him a while, too.

He tossed the book he hadn't really been reading onto the floor and rubbed his hands over his face. She wasn't truly seventeen, he knew that. It didn't change the fact that he felt incredibly conflicted about what happened between them. In a small way, though, he felt like the power imbalance between them had finally shifted. After she'd first turned him, she had been the one in control, and that made him uneasy.

Now that he knew Emmett was working to recover his property, and he was getting a hang of being a vampire, he was less uncomfortable. Bella's confession about her past had finally tipped the scales in his favor.

He still didn't really understand the concept of mates; in fact, her description of what happened with her maker had brought up even more questions, but he'd resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going anywhere for the time being. He wanted more practice with removing a human's memories, and there were so many questions still to be answered, but he also wanted to know the rest of Bella's story. His curiosity was nowhere close to being sated.

Bella's final words about her past lingered in his mind. "It was only by chance that I stumbled upon the doctor."

Something about the way she'd spoken those words put a certain weight behind them—made him feel like they were especially important. Clearly it wasn't Emmett she was referring to, but something about the way her tongue caressed each syllable made him sure she was referring to someone male.

He got up off the couch and went to the window, trying to tamp down the rising jealousy. He hated it. He'd never been a jealous person in his human life, and the strange streak running through him was making him crazy. Why? Why was he jealous of the men in Bella's past?

The French poet, Laurent, was long-dead. Her maker was insane, and clearly someone Bella wanted nothing to do with anymore. This doctor, though … something about him made Edward's hackles rise and the urge to make Bella his roar through him. With an irritated sigh, Edward spun on his heel and grabbed a coat; maybe the cold air would clear his head, though he couldn't shake the feeling that it was wrong to go off and leave her.

~Dreaming~

Edward walked for hours throughout the city, surprised by the sudden change in weather. The late winter had been drizzly and dreary, but suddenly, spring had taken over. To blend in with the humans around him, he took off his coat and draped it over his arm as he walked. Flowers were blooming, the wind was soft rather than biting, and even if it was mostly hidden behind the clouds, the sun was warm.

He circled halfway around Central Park before heading into it and found himself sitting on a bench in front of the Reservoir, staring out at the water. He lost track of time as he sat there, the shadows moving and shifting as time lengthened and the day moved forward. A dim part of him made sure to move and fidget, shift enough to still look human. He even occasionally brought out his phone, pretending to idly play with it and check the time, but most of his brain was occupied with sorting through his thoughts.

He wasn't any more sure of what he was going to do by the time he finally decided to go back to the apartment, but the mess inside his head seemed a little less chaotic, and the unsettled feeling in his body had slightly abated. He was just about to stand when someone took a seat on the bench beside him.

A quick glance to his left showed Edward a young, beautiful woman with a passing resemblance to Bella. She had long, glossy dark hair and wide brown eyes. Her skin was pale and unblemished and, for a human, she seemed graceful and poised.

"Hello," she said softly. He could hear her anxious, eager heartbeat and smell the tempting scent of her blood.

He smiled automatically, acknowledging her presence. "Hello."

"Are you waiting for someone? I mean, I noticed you'd been sitting here a long while and kept checking your phone like maybe you expected someone to meet you here."

Edward nodded, figuring it made for as good a cover story as any. "Yeah, it doesn't look like she's going to show up."

The girl frowned. "She? Your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend," Edward said, thinking of Bella. "She's … it's … hell, I don't know."

"Complicated?" she offered.

Edward shrugged and rolled his eyes internally. Complicated was such a trite way of putting it, but it wasn't entirely inaccurate. He dragged a hand along his jaw, hearing the rasp of the stubble there. "Something like that."

A tantalizing scent suddenly bloomed in the air, arousal overlaying the scent of her blood. He smirked to himself. The pretty, little brunette apparently found him quite attractive. He shifted his body toward her a little and gave her a crooked smile, enjoying the way her heartbeat picked up.

"I … I was going to ask you out for coffee," the young woman blurted out, and Edward gave her a surprised glance. "If you're interested."

Jesus, if she only knew she was asking out a vampire, he thought. He snickered to himself, darkly amused. It would be so easy to say yes, to lure her in. It would hardly take any effort at all to charm her, convince her that they should go to her place.

He leaned in closer, propping his elbow on the back of the bench. His fingertips grazed her shoulder and he watched as her lips parted. She looked dazed already, and he knew all it would take was a few words and she'd be begging him to fuck her.

Edward could picture it, the girl spread out on a bed, writhing under him. He could drink from her while he fucked her, sate both lusts at once. He was growing hard and he could feel the ache at the back of his throat urging him to do just that. He could almost taste the blood on his tongue and feel the rush he'd get from the orgasm.

And then it was Bella on the bed. A young, human Bella, frightened and helpless in the grip of the blond vampire who was her maker. The two images swirled together in his mind until Edward was the one fucking Bella and drinking her blood. Only he didn't let her drink from him and she grew limp and cold. Dead.

Edward shuddered and sat back, trying to shake the unrelenting onslaught of images that were crowding his head. He barely managed to focus on the young woman next to him on the bench, but her words finally penetrated the fog in his mind.

"It's … fine. It was stupid to even ask," she muttered, an embarrassed blush rising on her cheeks that only made the scent of her blood stronger.

"No," he said roughly. "It just wouldn't be a good idea."

"Because of your … well, the girl you were waiting for?"

He thought of Bella and nodded. "Yeah, and for a lot of other reasons."

Edward stood and walked away without another word, shaken by the encounter.

When he returned to the apartment Bella was out of bed, curled up in a chair in the library, reading. He briefly thought of the girl in the park and realized she hardly resembled Bella at all. The similarity was quite faint. He wasn't sure if that made it better or worse.

Bella lifted her head and gave him a tentative smile. "Did you go for a walk?"

"Yeah, I wanted to clear my head."

"Did it work?"

Edward laughed hollowly. "No, not really."

"Emmett called. He's arranged for a body to be found. It will be identified as yours, an arrest will be made, and the case will be closed."

Startled, Edward sank into the chair across from her. "He faked my death?"

"Of course. He had to if he wanted to arrange for someone to claim your estate." Bella gave him a long, searching look, narrowing her eyes at him in confusion. "How else did you think he was going to do it? In a disappearance like yours a person has to be missing for seven years in order to be declared legally dead. I didn't think you'd want to wait that long before you had your property and money."

"Oh … no … of course," Edward replied, still perplexed by it all. "I ... I don't quite understand though. Some innocent person is going to jail for murdering me?"

"No," Bella said, as if she was explaining things to an especially slow child who just wasn't grasping the concept. "Emmett finds someone who has committed other crimes and gotten away with it, they'll be framed and go to jail. He's done it before. Criminals end up in jail, and vampires can sever their ties to their human life. It's simple."

"Thanks, I get it," he snapped. "I just never thought about how it would all happen."

Bella set her book aside. "Are you all right, Edward?"

"It's just so strange to think about," he said. "I … fuck, I know the rest of the world thinks I'm dead, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around it."

"I know." Bella gave him a long, sympathetic glance and then stood. "Come on, I'm going to take you out of the city again so we can run. I think you need it."

His first instinct was to argue. Who was she to tell him what he needed? But after a brief second, he realized she was right. Running would do more to clear his head than any amount of time spent on a bench in Central Park.

It was dusk when they left the city, and dark by the time they reached the woods. Edward took off first, and this time, it was Bella who chased him. She lagged behind a bit—he was simply faster than she was—but he was always aware of where she was. The temperature had dropped, and the air was cool and damp. Edward drew in a deep breath, pulling in the chilly air that was redolent with the scent of wet leaves and the blood of small, scurrying animals.

They ran and ran, the miles disappearing under their feet. The tightness in Edward's chest finally loosened, the chaotic, swirling mess of thoughts in his head slowed, and when he finally stopped, he felt a calm wash over him.

He collapsed to the ground, his back against a tree trunk, and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against it. Bella caught up to him, her footsteps finally slowing to a stop and he heard the quiet rustle of leaves as she sat down near him. Not next to him, but close enough. He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her.

"Will you tell me about the doctor now?" Edward asked quietly, his curiosity impossible to disguise. He'd been wondering about it since their conversation the night before. Bella's life had been fascinating, and he was getting a clearer picture of who she was.

"Yes." Her voice was quiet and sounded a little strained, but she continued, staring down at her hands. Her fingers twisted together as she fidgeted. "He was an army medic. A surgeon. A vampire."

Edward blinked in surprise at the idea.

"I've never met another like him, apart from his wife. She was a nurse, and she was so kind. They both were. And so horrified by my stories of what happened when I was changed and what my maker had taught me.

"The doctor and his wife took me in but I was horrible to them at first. I had been a spoiled, pampered girl when I'd been changed, just on the cusp of becoming a woman. I'd been initiated into the life of a vampire by a cruel, hedonistic man who taught me to indulge my every whim. There was nothing I wanted that I couldn't have. But the doctor and his wife were patient with me. They lived off animal blood. I tried it, but I loathed it. It tasted terrible and I hated the way the animals suffered. There was no way to compel them like with humans."

"This doctor, did he teach you to drink from humans without killing them?"

"Yes. It was a compromise. He begged me to never drink from the soldiers. They were already exhausted and weak; he considered it cruel to weaken them before they went into battle. I had to drink from other humans in the surrounding villages—those who were strong enough to let me take from them without harming them. It was … different. Sometimes I missed the gorge and gluttony of feeding and fucking. With us, sex and drinking blood are linked. Two of the most primal passions twine together, and it's often hard to separate the two. I had never known feeding without sex, and I missed it.

"I tried to do without, but it was difficult for me. Sometimes I drank from someone in the village and then found a willing soldier to sate my lust with. I was careful not to drink from the soldier while we were together, but a few times I slipped up. And when I did, I killed the soldier. It was hard to control myself. The doctor was so disappointed in me."

Bella chewed at her lower lip, her expression marred with shame.

Replacing Edward's anger at her maker was the ever-growing feeling of jealousy of the way she talked about the doctor. He couldn't bring himself to ask if they had been lovers, as well. He was afraid of what he'd do if her answer was yes.

She continued, her voice growing softer. "Sometimes, when a soldier was dying, when he was in pain and beyond hope, the doctor let me feed from him. He said it was a mercy to take them quickly, rather than letting them linger in pain. I came to them at night and dazzled them, convinced them I was angel bringing them to heaven. They died happy, with smiles on their faces instead of the slow, crippling agony that awaited them otherwise."

Edward could picture her like that, beautiful and otherworldly. He thought if he'd been a dying solider, he would have preferred to go that way, as well.

"So that's what you meant about being the angel of death," Edward said, but she shook her head no.

"That's part of it, but not all," Bella explained. She stared down at the ground for a long time, silent, and Edward wondered if he'd made a mistake interrupting her.

She seemed lost in her own thoughts; her voice distant and almost dreamy when she finally continued. "I remember watching the doctor work, assisting him as he operated. I became a nurse, of sorts, although it never came naturally to me like it did with his wife. She was patient with me as I learned, never minding when the doctor and I stayed up late into the night talking. I had so many questions, and I was so eager to hear his history. He fascinated me."

Bella wouldn't meet his eyes and her posture grew stiff and unwelcoming. He waited for her to continue, afraid of what she had to say that was so bad she couldn't meet his gaze. She was silent for a long, long time. Her voice was whisper-quiet when she finally did speak.

"I fell in love with the doctor—with his kindness, his dedication to the soldiers. I didn't understand that I could love any man in a way that was anything but physical. I should have thought of him as a father-figure, but I desired him. I grew jealous of his wife, his true mate. I wanted him for myself. One night when she was taking care of a soldier, I tricked the doctor into coming back to his own tent. I was waiting for him. Naked."

She closed her eyes as if pained by the memory. "I was shameless. I was a harlot when I spread myself open for him to see, touched myself, dropped to my knees to try to persuade him. But he was unyielding. His voice was kind, but sorrowful. He explained that he loved her and only her. He would never desire another the way he desired her. He was pledged to her, by human law and vampire mate-bond."

Edward gritted his teeth, trying not let the rage that had been simmering in him boil over. She might not have slept with the doctor, but she had loved him. It defied all logic, the way he was feeling right now, but he couldn't deny it any more. He loathed the doctor and was jealous of the way Bella had felt about him. He didn't dare speak, afraid he'd blurt out exactly what he was feeling right then. He was grateful when she continued.

"I fled, humiliated. My memory still burns with the shame I felt, and the sorrow as I ran. They stood in the night, on the edge of the soldiers' encampment, watching me leave. I'll never forget the gleam of the moonlight on the blond waves of his hair. The shadowed hollows of his cheekbones. The distress on his face as I left them. She stood beside him, sorrowful instead of angry like she should have been. I would have been furious, if I were her. But she was too kind for that. I've never loathed myself so much."

"Bella…" Edward whispered, but he didn't know what else to say. His anger and jealousy were melting away, replaced by worry. She seemed so fragile, so hurt and broken. It had been decades ago, and yet, the grief sounded as real and raw as if it had been just days. "Are you all right?"

She didn't shy away when he knelt in front of her, but she didn't relax either. He placed his hand on her arm and she flinched. She was silent and still so long he wasn't sure if she was going to respond at all.

Her voice was soft and pained. "It's hard. I've never told anyone this story before."

He cupped her cheek in his hand and forced her to look him in the eye. "I'm glad you told me."

Bella's eyes closed momentarily and then opened again. "Thank you, Edward."

The scent of her washed over him suddenly, warm and tempting. She smelled better than anything he'd ever encountered before. He felt another little piece of the wall he'd put up melt away.

Bella had been through so much. The way she'd been changed, the things her maker had taught her, the experience with the battlefield doctor. A part of him wanted to pull her even closer, comfort her however he could.

He closed his eyes and leaned in, pressing his forehead against hers. He opened his mouth to say something to her, some words of reassurance, but she pulled away from him suddenly, a startled look on her face. She was on her feet before he could scramble to his. A snarl left her lips and he felt the hairs on his arms rise.

"What is it, Bella?" he asked, as every instinct in him rose to protect her.

But she didn't answer. She scanned the treeline, eyes narrowed, her body poised for a fight. Edward felt the answering response in his body, his muscles tensed and ready to spring. But he couldn't see anything, couldn't hear or smell whatever the threat was that had Bella so on edge. Bella's tense posture melted into one of wary watchfulness and she turned and glanced up at him. "We're leaving."

He opened his mouth to protest but she just shook her head and took off. Frustrated by her irritating vagueness and need to make things mysterious, he snarled and took off after her. Earlier, he'd had no trouble dodging low-hanging branches and other obstructions in his path, but now he ripped at them, leaving destruction in his wake. The outlet for his anger felt good, but he was still riled up when they reached the car.

"What the fuck was that about, Bella?" he snarled. "I want some answers from you. You seem to enjoy being mysterious, and I am done with it."

She whirled around and snarled right back. "I've told you about my past, what more do you need to know?"

"I want to know what made you act like we were under attack back there," he growled, stepping forward until he was right in front of her, looming over her. "I don't enjoy feeling like I have to confront the unknown, and that's all I fucking feel like I'm doing, dealing with you."

The stubborn fire in her eyes didn't fade and her clenched jaw didn't soften a bit. "There was something out there. I'm not sure what it was. Once I know, you'll know, all right?"

"I don't suppose I have any choice," he spat back. "I just didn't like not being able to see, or hear, or smell a damn thing. I don't even know if whatever set you off was animal, human, or vampire!"

Her angry expression became one of confusion. "You couldn't smell him?"

"No, I couldn't smell anything," Edward replied, puzzled. "Just the woods, the animals, and you."

"There was another vampire," she said. "I don't know if I'm right, I just caught a hint of his scent but he smelled … familiar to me. I have to check and find out for sure."

"Then you'll tell me more?" he asked.

She hesitated a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, I'll tell you then."

Bella fretted on the drive back to Manhattan. She drove quickly and skillfully as always, but it was as if her mind were in a completely different place. As much as he wanted answers, Edward didn't push it. Bella's mysterious moods were more than he wanted to deal with at the moment, so instead he focused on the countryside as it blurred past them.

In the years since he'd moved to Manhattan, he'd spent almost no time outside of the city. It amazed him that there were such wild, forested areas so close to a city like New York. As they neared the city, though, woodlands became suburbia, and the urban sprawl became denser and denser, broken only as they crossed the Hudson River. He loved the freedom of the woods, and a vague, fleeting thought came to him that they reminded him of home. He hadn't thought of Washington State and the tiny town of Forks in years. It was too painful, reminding him too much of his parents and the idyllic life he'd had growing up.

He remembered mossy green trees, rich, dark soil and the peaceful forests of the Pacific Northwest. His father, a foot taller and much stronger, striding ahead of him on the hiking trail during a weekend camping trip—one of a scant handful they'd taken during his youth. A younger version of himself, struggling to keep up with the man he worshiped.

Edward closed his eyes tightly shut, remembering his father's boisterous laughter, so rare to hear. His father had been a busy man; a lawyer, working from Port Angeles. His time at home with his family was scarce, but Edward and his mother had loved the rare times they had his father all to themselves. He was a good man, a good father.

And his mother. Edward's breath caught at the memory of her. Edward looked more like her than his father, except for his build. He remembered her soft voice, her gentle coaxing, the way she'd always known how to soothe him when he was troubled. She was a housewife, though, she knitted and sewed, and her work sold quickly when she displayed it at markets and craft shows. His father had never treated her like her work of taking care of the home and their child was any less important than his.

A strange, keening noise left Edward's throat, the onslaught of memories of his parents overwhelming him, Soft fingers threaded through Edward's and he gripped them tightly, struggling to rein in the emotions. Too long buried, they threatened to overwhelm him and wash away the walls he'd put up to protect himself. Their deaths had wrecked him, left him utterly alone, and he'd turned inward, bottling his pain up and refusing to acknowledge it for years. Something tonight had triggered it, and he felt himself shaking as he struggled to pull himself together.

He was more or less under control by the time they reached Bella's apartment, and he took one last deep breath before letting go of her hand. He didn't speak; he didn't even look at her, unwilling to see what her reaction to his breakdown had been.

"I need to talk to someone about the vampire in the woods," Bella said in a low voice. "Do you want to come with me?"

He shook his head, still unable to meet her eyes.

"I'll be back later then."

Edward nodded once and got out of the car, the lingering grief from the memories of his parents weighing on him heavily.

Notes: What do you think about the next big piece of Bella's history? Pretty fascinating, huh? What do you think is going to happen next?