Notes: As always, thanks to my betas Sunflower Fanfiction, Jules, and AshesAshes. I couldn't do this without you!

My apologies for the late post. This has been a really rough few months. We had to put one of our cats to sleep last week, and I was in no shape to think about much else.

Chapter 14

It turned out the doctor lived not too far from Forks, in the tiny town where Edward had grown up. Port Angeles was roughly an hour from Edward's childhood home, but it was close enough that it made him uncomfortable. He hadn't been back since his parents' funeral.

It had taken Emmett the better part of a week to track down the doctor and his wife, and by the end of that time, Edward thought he'd go mad from wanting Bella. Their heated physical exploration of each other never went too far, but Edward found it more and more difficult to stop. Bella seemed content to let him go at his pace, although she gave him an odd, puzzled look every time he pulled away.

One such afternoon they lay in bed reading, Edward using a tablet to do more research on DNA mutations while Bella read from a very old, leather-bound volume of poetry. Something about the contrast made him smile, and he idly moved his free hand to play with her hair.

Edward was shirtless, although he still had on a pair of pants, and Bella had on the shirt he'd discarded earlier, a bra and panties, and not much else. She was curled up next to him, her head on his shoulder and one leg thrown over his. He was supposed to be reading the scholarly journal he'd pulled up earlier, but he kept glancing down at her bare legs instead. He felt restless, although he wasn't sure if it was because he wasn't really doing anything productive, or because he wanted her.

"You're much better than I am at relaxing," he murmured.

Bella laughed softly. "You are quite bad at it," she agreed. "Why is that?"

"Hmm," Edward said, closing the cover of his tablet and setting it on the bed beside them. "I guess I haven't always been so bad. It must have been after my parents died. I just threw myself into work so I wouldn't have time to miss them."

Bella discarded her book to the side as well and trailed her hands down his stomach, dipping her fingertips below the waistband. "I wish I'd gotten to know you before they died," Bella said.

"Why?"

"I bet you were a lot different then."

"I suppose I was," he agreed.

She trailed her fingertips back and forth along the edge of his pants, maddeningly slowly. "Do you miss them?"

He let out a long, shuddering sigh. "I … yeah, you have no idea how much."

"Will you tell me about them sometime?"

His heart clenched at the thought. "Maybe someday."

"Do you plan to stay a while, then?" she asked, her fingers stilling, the pretended nonchalance in her voice not quite disguising the worry. "I mean, with me?"

"I don't have any plans to go anywhere, Bella." He hesitated. "I'm still figuring things out in my head, and I don't want to say that I'll never leave, but I don't really have any plans to either."

"Really? You mean you might …" her voice trailed off, and he wasn't quite sure what she meant, although he suspected it had something to do with being mates.

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I don't know what I want or what I'm feeling right now. But I think if you give me time, maybe I can sort through all of this. I need to understand what it means to be a vampire before I can make any decisions." He let his hand slide down her back. "But either way, I'm not going anywhere for a while. We're going to talk to the doctor, and then deal with your maker, and after that, we'll figure the rest of it, okay? Either way, I won't leave you vulnerable, or disappear without you knowing ahead of time."

Bella nodded, lifting her head just enough to kiss his chest. He reached down and grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers together. "Thank you, Edward," she whispered.

He felt guilty at how happy his promises made her. It took so little to please her, and he wondered what she would do if he promised her more. If he promised her everything. "I'm sorry I haven't really treated you the way I should," he murmured. "I shouldn't have been so cruel."

Bella shrugged, and the open collar of the shirt slipped down over her shoulder. His free hand moved to trace the soft skin with his fingertips. "I made a mistake, Edward. You had every right to be angry with me."

"There's a difference between anger and cruelty," he countered. "When I think about your past, what you've been through … it just makes me feel worse. I don't want to be anything like your maker."

Bella sat up abruptly. "You think you're like him?"

"I've treated you horribly," he countered.

Her voice was flat. "Until you take a young girl and kill her lover, turn her into a vampire, and then slaughter half of the countryside and fuck her in front of a pile of their corpses, I don't think you can compare yourself to him."

Edward shuddered at the last half of her statement. "He really did that?"

She looked away, her expression distant and drawn. "He did more than that."

"I swear to fucking God, I'll end him," Edward snarled, sitting up.

Bella's gaze met his, and it was hard and flinty. "You'll have to get in line; I want first dibs on him."

"I don't blame you for wanting to kill him yourself, Bella, but I know I'm going to have a difficult time standing back," Edward said with a grimace.

"This is something I need to do, Edward. For my own sake."

"I know you do. I just … I feel very protective of you."

Her expression softened. "I love that you do."

"I've never felt that way about anyone before," Edward admitted. Bella opened her mouth as if starting to say something, but she shook her head faintly and didn't speak. He looked at her curiously, wondering what she'd been about to say.

"I feel protective of you, too, Edward. And to be honest, you don't have any experience as a fighter," she finally pointed out. "I know you want to protect me, and you are very fast and strong because you're newly made, but he's extremely old and terribly dangerous. I have a much better idea of how to fight him than you do."

Edward sighed and sank down on the bed, curling an arm around her waist to pull her down with him. She followed without resistance, molding her body around his. He was silent for a long time before he laughed ruefully. "I have a hard time hearing that."

Bella sat up, staring down at him with a frown. "There are things I can teach you, how to fight, that sort of thing, but I refuse to hide behind you, Edward. This is my battle. I want you beside me, but don't think for a minute that I'm not capable of taking care of myself."

"I know," Edward said hastily. "Really, I do know that. You're strong and fierce, and I find that very … attractive," he admitted.

Bella gave him a wicked grin, and he smirked up at her for a moment before growing more serious. "I know it makes me an asshole, but it makes me feel like less of a man to know I can't hold my own against him. I don't like the thought of not being able to protect you from a monster like that."

"It isn't that, Edward. It all has to do with how well I know him. I know what makes him tick. I know how his fucked up mind works." Bella's hand trailed down his chest and to the edge of his trousers, playing with the button there. "Now, I think you should forget about him. Let me show you just how much I think of you as a man."

She undid his button one handed and he raised an eyebrow at her, amused by the sudden playfulness. The rasp of the zipper lowering made arousal begin to simmer in him and when she licked her lips at the sight of the fact that he wasn't wearing anything underneath, he pulled her forward, his hand wrapping around the back of her neck. Things quickly escalated, and Bella's hand was wrapped around his cock when the phone rang with a familiar ringtone.

"Forget your goddamn maker, I'm killing Emmett," Edward muttered, reaching for the phone.

"Like I said before, get in line," Bella said with a little growl, and this time, Edward laughed.

~Dreaming~

Emmett called to let them know about the doctor's location shortly after that, and just a few days after that call, the four vampires flew to Washington State. Edward was on edge, uncomfortable with the fact that they were returning to the state where he was born, and the prospect of meeting the mysterious doctor.

Currently, they were sitting in the plush living room area of a pricey hotel suite in Seattle. Bella and Emmett were arguing about how to approach the doctor, Rosalie looked bored, and Edward was trying not to lose his temper. Of course, Emmett and Bella were speaking cryptically, so half of the time Edward had no idea about what they meant.

"What is the fucking problem?" Edward snarled. "Why can't we just walk up and ring the doorbell? Is this some vampire thing?"

Rosalie snorted. "No, it isn't some vampire thing. Didn't Bella tell you about her past with him?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Bella's just embarrassed because of what happened."

Edward glanced over at Bella, and she did look incredibly uncomfortable; she couldn't even meet Edward's eye, and she was fidgeting with a bracelet on her wrist. Emmett touched Bella's shoulder in a comforting gesture and Edward bit back a snarl. Intellectually, he knew Emmett was no more than a friend to Bella, but it didn't stop the sudden twist of jealousy in his stomach.

"It's … fine," Bella said, getting up to pace. "I just don't think we should all show up on his doorstep unannounced. He may not even be willing to speak to me."

"Fine!" Emmett threw up his hands. "We'll contact him first. I think you're worrying too much, it's been what, eighty … ninety years? What's past is past, and you have your mate now—" Emmett said, gesturing toward Edward "—neither of them are going to worry about what happened so long ago."

For the first time, Edward didn't flinch at the idea of being called Bella's mate, and he realized the idea didn't give him the automatic urge to run anymore. That wasn't to say he was about to promise to spend the rest of eternity with her, but it didn't send him into flat-out panic either.

"Thank you, Emmett," Bella murmured. She was still pacing, and when she passed by Edward, he reached out a hand and snagged her elbow. She gave him a questioning glance, but when he tugged her toward him, she followed. He coaxed her onto his lap, and she settled in with a contented sigh.

"Is there anything you need me to do?" he asked in her ear, smoothing his hands up and down her arms. The tension seemed to leach out of her, and she shook her head.

"If Emmett will deliver it, I'll write a note."

Emmett grudgingly agreed, and they laid out a plan. When Bella got up to write the letter, Edward was surprised to realize how much he hated to let her go. While she wrote, he was the one pacing, trying to think of anything but this mysterious doctor they were going to be meeting. It was easier to forget about when Bella was in his arms. He shoved his hands in his pants' pockets, staring down at the floor as he walked mindlessly back and forth.

When she was done, Emmett took the letter from her and disappeared, returning a few hours later. They were all on edge, but he just shook his head. "He wasn't home. I left it with his mate. She promised he'd respond when he got back."

Bella sighed, looking dejected.

All four of them were restless as they waited. Eventually the couples went their separate ways when Emmett and Rosalie disappeared into the bedroom, but that didn't help the tension. They were loud. And enthusiastic. Edward tried to focus on his laptop, but he could clearly hear the sounds of sex. It was difficult to think about anything but what he could be doing to Bella. He felt like his control was hanging on by a thread, and he didn't know what would happen if he lost that.

He made it through the first two bed-shaking orgasms, but by the third, he was gritting his teeth so much he was afraid they'd crumble. He knew Bella was equally affected. Between the way she was squirming on the sofa beside him and the scent of her arousal, he was in agony, and he didn't imagine she was doing much better.

"Can we go for a run?" he asked in a raspy voice. Bella's answering smile was somewhere between relieved and knowing.

"Sure. Let's go."

Running helped, and thankfully by the time they finally returned, Emmett and Rosalie were done. Edward still didn't trust himself to kiss Bella though, afraid he wouldn't be able to stop, but they got comfortable on the bed. He was more or less content to hold her as she pretended to rest, drifting in the odd, hazy half-sleep she craved so much. He was alert, but still unable to focus on reading or doing research. Instead, he watched her, his eyes memorizing the curve of her lower lip and the thick, dark fringe of her lashes. He brushed a strand of dark hair away from her cheek, and it shocked him how tender the gesture was. "Oh, Bella, what have you done to me?" he whispered.

He saw the twitch of her muscles as she forced herself not to react. He knew she'd heard him, but she didn't stir or speak, and he appreciated the way she didn't push. He slid down the bed further, burying his face against her hair as he gathered her close.

~Dreaming~

There was still no reply from the doctor in the morning and once again, the tension built. "How long do we have to wait?" Edward grumbled, but no one answered. He paced, unable to sit still when his mind was whirling, wondering about all of the possibilities ahead of them. What could the doctor tell them? Would he be the key to finally getting rid of Bella's maker? And when this was all over, would Edward be able to deny his need for Bella any longer?

"Edward?" he lifted his head to see Emmett staring at him. "Would you like to go hunting with me?"

"Uh, sure," Edward said, slightly surprised. He could certainly stand to get out of the stifling hotel. Even though he had those rare moments of irrational jealousy toward the other vampire, he still liked him.

It was raining of course, so he shrugged on a jacket. Bella was sitting at a small desk, scribbling in a diary and he stopped behind her, forcing himself not to read what it said. "Bella?" he said softly.

"Hmm?" She looked up at him, her expression vague and distant at first and then it seemed to clear. "Yes?"

He smiled down at her, reaching for a strand of hair that had fallen over the shoulder of her thick, white sweater. He tugged at it and saw her lips curve up at the corners. "Emmett and I are going hunting."

"Oh!" she said, sounding surprised. "That's good. Have fun."

He bared his teeth at her in a grin. "I'm sure I will."

Bella looked up at him for a long moment, her amber eyes wide, her expression so open and full of affection he couldn't stop the instinct to reach out and touch her. He cupped her jaw letting his thumb skate over the pale smoothness of her cheek. "I won't be gone long."

"Okay." She didn't look away, neither of them did, and although he was self-conscious about the two vampires behind him, probably watching them, he leaned in and brushed his lips against Bella's.

"Miss me?" he joked in a quiet murmur, but he suddenly wanted her to. Wanted to know that she'd be there waiting for him when he returned.

She pulled back, and her voice was low and steady. "Always."

Edward swallowed hard and bit back the urge to pull her close and kiss her until she begged him never to stop. He stood up straight and forced himself to walk away. Just before he left the room, he turned back to look over his shoulder at her. She was staring after him, the expression on her face soft and tender, and then she looked away, turning back to continue writing in her diary.

"Let's go," Emmett said quietly, and Edward followed.

The vampires walked in silence for a long time. Presumably, Emmett knew where he was going, so Edward let him lead. Edward was startled when Emmett finally spoke. "It seems like things are … better … between you and Bella."

Edward nodded. "They are. I'm not angry at her anymore. I know she honestly thought I wanted her to change me."

"Have you told her that?"

He shoved his hands in his pants pockets, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "No."

"You should."

"Yeah, I know," Edward admitted.

"Have you changed your mind about being mates?"

Edward hesitated. "I don't know. I don't hate the idea anymore, not like I did at first. It just seems crazy to me, promising to spend the rest of eternity with her when I don't even know her. Hell, at the time I didn't like her, how could I want to be with her forever?"

Emmett nodded thoughtfully. "That's a valid point. I've just never seen a vampire capable of being so logical about things. Normally, our instincts take over."

Edward laughed bitterly. "Maybe there's something wrong with me. Bella's been so sure that she did something wrong, but I don't think that's the case. I think it's me."

"It doesn't have to be that there's anything wrong with either of you. Maybe you're just different, and it'll take you more time."

"You didn't hesitate with Rosalie, even though you were unwilling when she changed you, right?"

Emmett snorted. "No. I woke up, we drank from each other, and then we claimed each other as mates verbally and uh, more physically."

Despite himself, Edward chuckled. "It was that easy, huh?"

"For us, yes. I don't think that means that you and Bella can't still go through the mating ritual if you feel ready."

"Christ, I sound like a goddamn virgin, don't I? Wanting to wait until I'm ready." Edward's voice was mocking.

But Emmett just shook his head. "I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing."

"It's just so not me," Edward pointed out. "Or maybe it is? This is so new and strange, I don't even know what to do. Sex has never meant a damn thing to me, and I've never had a relationship. I've never wanted one."

Emmett sighed. "That's hard for me to understand. Dating and relationships as you know it are nothing like what I was used to. Sure, I had my way with a few willing women, so I was no virgin when Rosalie found me. My father was wealthy enough that I knew I'd marry a woman that pleased him, even if I didn't love her or know her all that well. Maybe it didn't seem so strange to meet someone and promise to be with her when I didn't know a damn thing about her."

"That's an interesting thought." They were silent for a while before Edward spoke again. "Thank you for telling me I needed to hear Bella's story. You were right."

"She's been through a lot, hasn't she?"

"Yes. I can't even imagine."

"She was a wreck when I met her."

"When was that exactly? I know after she left her maker she met the doctor, and then came here to New York."

"Hmm, must have been nineteen twenty-two or so. Or was it twenty-three? Right around then anyway."

"You said she was a wreck, what do you mean?"

"Withdrawn, almost … catatonic. Her maker had abused her, she'd been rejected by the doctor, and found out her father and step-mother were dead. Garrett, the boy she'd been in love with was dead, too—killed in the war. She didn't know how to cope. I was hunting one night and nearly fell over her. I don't really know what triggered it, maybe she just drank more than she realized, but she'd killed a human, and she was sitting on the ground with him cradled in her arms. She was sobbing. It was the strangest thing I've ever seen."

Just picturing Bella like that caused a sharp pain in his chest. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like seeing her that way. Emmett's face was drawn; almost weary looking when he glanced over. Edward could hear the pain in his voice when he spoke. "She didn't even move when I knelt down to talk to her, just stared at me with these wide, blank eyes. I had to coax her to let me take the man's body. I hated to leave her there, but I did, just long enough to dispose of it. She was just sitting there when I got back, as if she hadn't moved at all. It was the eeriest thing I've ever seen. I convinced her to come back to the place where Rosalie and I were staying." Emmett chuckled ruefully. "It didn't make Rosalie any too happy, I can tell you that."

"Oh? What do you mean?"

Emmett shot him a disbelieving glance. "She was jealous. She couldn't understand why I'd brought home this stray—as she called her. It took some fast-talking on my part to get her to see how bad of shape Bella was in. Jealousy is a powerful thing in a vampire."

"I can see that," Edward said gruffly. "I hate to admit it, but I've been jealous of you and Bella."

"You have no reason to be."

"I know that, intellectually, but apparently I have at least a few of the vampire instincts lurking in here somewhere."

Emmett smiled. "She's like a sister to me, Edward. I have absolutely no desire for her. I want to protect her, because she's been through so much and I care about her."

"I'm jealous of the doctor, too." Edward sighed. "And her maker, and the goddamn poet from Paris."

Emmett smiled. "Well, the poet's dead, we're going to kill her maker, and you really have nothing to worry about with the doctor."

"I know. Still hate them all." Edward jammed his hands further in his pockets. "Have you met this mysterious doctor?"

"No. I just know of him through Bella and what I've been able to research on him. But you have to understand, he's mated, he has no interest in her. It's as if a switch gets flipped somehow when you find your true mate. Bella and the doctor may have been close during the war, but I guarantee he thought of her as a … pupil, or a daughter. He never had any interest in her sexually."

"How is that even possible?" Edward asked, baffled. He could hardly look at Bella without wanting her.

"Just because you want her that much doesn't mean the rest of us want her, too. That's vampire mating for you. If you need to, take your time, Edward. Get to know her. I trust that you won't use her and promise her something you can't deliver. When you're ready, you'll claim her as your mate. I'm sure of it."

Unable to deny what Emmett said, Edward stayed silent. Shortly after that, they reached a relatively deserted area. They found several men, one drunk, the other just lost. The hunt was quick and satisfying, although Bella not being there lessened the thrill. Emmett seemed amused when Edward waited for their victims to wake. "I see you've picked that up from Bella."

"Considering her past, it seemed to be the right thing to do."

Emmett didn't respond, he just nodded, giving Edward a small, pleased smile before they tidied up and headed back to the hotel.

Bella flew into his arms the moment they entered the suite. He felt a surge of warmth in his chest at the fact that she actually had missed him. "I see you missed me as much as I missed you," he commented, but she shook her head.

"That isn't it. I mean, I did miss you, but I wanted you to see this—" she held up a letter "—he responded, Edward. We're going to talk to the doctor tomorrow."

Edward blinked down at her, momentarily disappointed by her reaction, until the enormity of what she'd said hit him. There was no backing out now. Tomorrow, he'd have to face the vampire Bella had once been in love with.

~Dreaming~

The night simultaneously dragged and skipped, and Edward was in no way mentally prepared for the onslaught of memories that came over him when the silver Audi Emmett had rented followed the winding route between Seattle and Port Angeles. The familiar landscape of the Pacific Northwest tugged at him, and he nearly lost it when they passed by a park he remembered playing at as a child.

"Edward, are you alright?" Bella asked. He realized he'd been gripping her hand so tightly that she winced. He loosened his hold and lifted the hand to his mouth, brushing his lips against the white marks his hand had left on her skin.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his throat feeling tight. "It's just … I haven't thought about this place in a long time. It's harder than I realized it was going to be."

Bella's gaze was soft and concerned. "Are you going to be okay?"

He took a deep, unnecessary breath. "Yes. Of course. We need to do this, and I can deal. Just … don't let go," he pleaded, feeling foolish and childlike but needing that reassurance anyway.

"Whatever you need, Edward," Bella promised.

He suddenly felt guilty, relying on her when she had to be freaking out about meeting the doctor after so long. "What about you?"

She gave him an almost puzzled look. "I have you here, Edward. What more could I need?"

He swallowed at the bare honesty of her words, vowing that once the day was over he'd make it up to her. He'd been meaning to for a while now, but he hadn't actually said the words that he'd forgiven her for what she'd done to him. He thought she knew how he felt, but maybe it was time he spoke them aloud to her. Bella leaned her head against his shoulder, nuzzling close, and he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head.

Emmett pulled up to an old white farmhouse in Port Angeles a short while later. They were all wary and alert as they stepped out of the vehicle. Nervous anticipation coursed through him, and as they walked up to the wide front porch, Edward was sure he'd have thrown up if he was human. He felt Bella's nerves, as well, and realized they were both on edge. The other two vampires hung back a little, keeping an eye on things but not intruding as Bella and Edward approached the door.

Bella wet her lips and looked over at Edward, reaching out to knock, but the door swung open. Edward's eyes landed on the female vampire standing there first. She was finely boned like Bella, and roughly the same height, with soft brown hair that was short and sleek, falling just below her ears. Her wide amber eyes were warm as they swept over him and landed on Bella. She broke out in a warm, genuine smile. "Bella! It's been a long time. We're happy to have you here."

Bella didn't respond, and Edward's eyes moved to the male vampire also standing there. He was a few inches shorter than Edward, with an equally lean build. But where Edward's hair was dark red-brown, this man's was golden. Everything about him was golden, from his pale skin to his amber eyes. He was staring at Bella with an expression Edward couldn't read, but there was a bit of a smile on his lips, just enough to put a hint of dimples in his cheeks. He was younger than Edward anticipated. He'd pictured the doctor as being in his late thirties at least, but he was no older than Edward. He was altogether too attractive. In fact, and Edward noticed his hackles beginning to rise.

He glanced at Bella, waiting for her to say something, but she was staring at the doctor with a rapt expression on her face. He felt a rumbling growl begin in his chest and a snarl left his throat when she finally reacted.

Ripping her hand out of Edward's, Bella threw herself at the doctor, wrapping her arms around his neck. The doctor chuckled warmly and enclosed her in a hug, squeezing her tight. "It's good to see you, little one."

With her head buried against the other vampire's neck, Bella whispered, "I've missed you, Jasper."

Notes: Did anyone see that coming?