"Hobbit!" And here came the devil stilettos.
"May I help you Satan- I mean Santana? " Rachel asked afraid of the answer.
"Actually, you can tinny. I need someone to help me sing to Britts- and I know you got a lady boner for Lezy Quinn Fabgay. So of you wanna woo her you'll help," Santana toke a moment to think of what she said "- actually you'll do it regardless. "
"What song?"
"Oh just a song I'm sure our girls will know but, then again I can't have you fucking up. So the song is as simple as this hobbs.."
-/-
"Ok!" clapped entering the room five minutes late as usual. "Anyone wanna- where's Santana and Rachel?"
"We don't kn-" Finn was interrupted by the devil herself walking in.
" I got somethin to sing. Hit it!"
"Black dress with the tights underneath,
I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth,
And she's an actress (actress),
But she ain't got no need.
She's got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.
T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks,"
After Santana finishes her agreed part Rachel walks in wearing black skinny jeans with rips on her thighs, a dark red tank top with a black button up over top with red hightops.
"While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth,
T-tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef,
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him."
Then they both start singing and dancing all over each other while our favorite blondes try not to take their respective girlfriends and, well, take them.
"She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe,
Won't trust a hoe,
('Cause a hoe) won't trust me.
Santana slowly walks up to Brittany and pulls her out of her chair to dance with her.
She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe,
Won't trust a hoe,
('Cause a hoe) won't trust me.
Rachel walks over to Quinn and sits on her lap singing to her directly making sure to move her hips to the rhythm.
X's on the back of your hands,
Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands.
And your setlist (setlist),
You stole off the stage,
Had red and purple lipstick all over the page.
B-b-b-bruises cover your arms,
Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm.
And the best is (best is),
No one knows who you are,
Just another girl alone at the bar.
Rachel gets up and follows Santana and Brittany's lead and dance like in a 21 and over club.
She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe,
Won't trust a hoe,
('Cause a hoe) won't trust me.
She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe,
Won't trust a hoe,
('Cause a hoe) won't trust me.
With the next few lines Rachel makes sure to dance in front of Quinn and put as much sway into her hips without looking like a full slut.
Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
Woah, woah, woah...
She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe,
Won't trust a hoe,
('Cause a hoe) won't trust me.
She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a hoe,
Never trust a hoe,
Won't trust a hoe,
('Cause a hoe) won't trust me.
After the performance, needless to say all the guys looked ready to cream in their pants (besides Kurt that looks just plain uncomfortable. ) and all the girls looked slightly aroused of just plain wishing they we're gay.
" Wow, Rachel, " Finn started, " I forgive you for breaking up with me. And if this means that I get to third base, then we might want to go."
Pretty much everyone was looking at him with an ' are you fucking kidding me ' look on their face while Santana, Rachel, and Quinn where seething.
Rachel reached out to wrap her arms around Quinn before she could lunge while Brittany was in the same position with Santana.
" Oh mi dios de mierda Finnisence! ella estaba cantando a Quinn que hijo de puta! simplemente había que dejar que tu pene se haga cargo eh! oh sí, inexistente pequeño Finn tiene un cerebro más grande que usted, usted los dumbass! Voy a matar a usted de un día para jugar con Rachel! Yo no sé dónde no sé dónde, pero lo haré y te puedo contar con él! "
"Santana! " Rachel screeched. " Can you not threaten people in spainsh! I can understand and if you don't help me restrain Quinnzilla I'll tell Tía maría!"
Santana looked horrified. "Quinn!"
-/-
So I decided that I wanted Santana and Rachel to be cousins. eh I will always like pezberry famliy. but yeah the translation is probably off. Google translate I sent that good but I still use it.
" Oh my fucking god Finnisence! She was singing to Quinn you mother fucker! You just had to let your dick take over huh! oh yeah, non existent tiny Finn has a bigger brain then you, you dumbass! I'm gonna kill you one day for messing with Rachel! I don't know where I don't know where but I will and you can count on it!"