Gibbs and Jenny retired to the livingroom with steaming cups of coffee cradled in their hands while they watched the flames flicker in the fireplace. Both were thinking serious thoughts, although not about the same subject. And one was trying to decide how to begin a particular conversation, but not looking forward to it.

"Jethro," Jenny said, not looking at him, "do you remember what Dr. Renway said today, about how we should talk about..." she wasn't sure how to say it exactly, "the physical stuff."

"Uh huh." He was studying her carefully. The fact that she was bringing it up when her body language clearly said she was uncomfortable with the topic mean that it was important to her.

She flickered her eyes over to him briefly. "She said we should take a break, which is good, because I'm not even sure I can...I mean, right now isn't...well," she sighed and finally looked at him, "it's good for me. But how long can you wait?"

This was not the time to give the right answer and move on. Like her therapist had said that morning, they needed to keep the lines of communication open. Total honesty, no matter how difficult it was to talk about.

He looked down at his coffee. "I'm not sure it's even how long that's the problem. I've gone without before." He thought back briefly to three marriages and divorces. Women didn't want to share their bodies when they were trying to get away from him. "But," Gibbs rubbed the back of his neck, "it's hard to be close to you and not want more."

Jenny nodded, feeling her cheeks heat. She was a married woman finding it awkward to talk to her husband about sex. It didn't get much stranger than this.

He looked up at her. "Dumb question maybe, but any guesses how long before you'd be ready to think about trying?"

His wife's eyes were sad and she shook her head slowly. "I'm sorry Jethro. My body...is still..." but then she frowned. "No, I can't even say that either. The marks have faded and inside everything might be fine now." She tapped her fingers against the side of her mug. "I guess the real problem is...I'm afraid that it will hurt. I was in so much pain...before." Jenny closed her eyes and rubbed her hand across her forehead as if she were trying to rub away the memories. "It didn't stop. Forty hours of pain and abuse, dreading when he would come back again and screaming for help when no one could hear me until my throat was raw. I never even want to come close to feeling any of that again."

"Oh Jen." Gibbs hated to hear what it had really been like, hated to hear what was going through her head. He was so thankful for her honesty, that she felt safe enough to share, but he didn't know how much he could take.

"It's not your fault, Jethro," Jenny told him, believing it. "But that's the truth. And it's so strange, to feel two different things at once. When we're together, when you're holding me, I know I'm safe. I know you wouldn't let anyone hurt me, but I'm still afraid. When we're kissing, more than just a couple times, like on the weekend...I want you. I can feel the desire in my body even as my mind is telling me to remember what happened last time. Remember he's a man and you can't trust him. Remember that last time you were hurt." She looked at the fire, not wanting to read what was in his eyes. "And then I feel guilty for wanting to be with you, like what he did should've taken any pleasure away that I will ever get from us being together."

He wanted to touch her, wanted to hold her hand, but wasn't sure if now was a good time. "You know that's a lie Jen, don't you?"

Jenny blinked away the moisture gathering in her eyes. "I think so," she whispered.

So, she might know she could trust him, but what she had been through had damaged her actual ability to trust. And he knew from experience that trust took a long time to earn. He wondered how long it took to heal.

Jenny bent her head, letting her hair fall over her face before she asked the next question. "Would you stop, Jethro? No matter what we were doing? Even if we were already...connected?" she visibly struggled with the thought.

Knowing he would never be able to get any pleasure out of making love to her if it was causing her any kind of pain, even if it was just in her head, Gibbs nodded. "I would, Jen."

She set her coffee down on the table and wrapped her arms around her knees. "What if it's never the same, Jethro? What if I'm always afraid?" The time a few tears did escape. "What if it hurts?"

"Jenny...please?" he asked, unable to bear her hurting alone anymore. She nodded and he moved across the three feet separating them, wrapping his arms around her body so that she was resting partially in his lap. He hoped that by surrounding her with his body, he could make her feel secure somehow.

"If it hurts, we'll stop, we'll wait, I promise Jenny," he whispered against her hair. "If you're afraid, we'll talk about it, we'll talk about everything and you can tell me what I can do that won't bring up bad memories. And maybe it will never be the same, maybe we'll love each other even more after this and it will be better."

Jenny shifted herself to sit in his lap, her arms around his neck as he held her. "You're being too nice about this Jethro. I may not be worth what it's costing you."

"Hey!" he pulled back and looked into her eyes. "Don't say that Jen. Whatever we have to do, however long we have to wait, no matter what, I know you will always be worth it." He kissed her forehead. "I would rather live with you our entire lives and go without intimacy, than not have you and be able to get as much as I want. Trust me babe," Gibbs held her tighter, "you are so much more than worth it."

They stayed that way a long time, wrapped in each other's arms, drawing comfort from being together. Finally Jenny pulled away and slouched back against the cushions. "You must think you married a crazy person."

"I have something for you," Gibbs disclosed, ignoring her previous statement.

Jenny closed her eyes. "A sanity pill?" she muttered.

He rolled his eyes. "Wait here."

Jenny opened her eyes when she heard the door close and sat up to look through the window. It was dark out now but she could see that Gibbs was getting something out of the trunk of the car. When he came back in, he was holding both hands behind his back.

He smiled. "Pick a hand."

"Any hand?" she asked.

"Your choice."

"That one." She pointed to his left arm.

Gibbs twisted his hand to in front of him and handed her a mini bouquet of yellow roses. She took them, breathing in their subtle scent. Then she looked back at him. "Jethro, yellow roses mean..." she trailed off. "What are you apologizing for?"

"Last week, still. Yesterday, a lot. But there's a second meaning for the flowers, and it may not be the best excuse, but it was what I was trying to do."

"Trying to care," she said softly. "Jethro, you didn't have to...I know everything was so up in the air..." she broke off. "Thank you. I won't ask you how you learned to speak the language of flowers, but I'm going to bet I owe McGee or Abby a hug tomorrow."

"What about me?"

Slowly, she smiled. "Yeah, I guess you deserve a hug too, silly man." Jenny leaned closer to him, but before she could touch him, he removed the other hand from behind his back.

"You forgot this one."

"Now I know you forgot my birthday," she joked. If he was going to continue being this nice she was going to feel like a loach for making him deal with her healing process.

"Your birthday was three months ago!" he returned. "No, this is so you know I mean it."

She shook her head. "Where do you find time to shop for flowers?" Her curiosity was getting the better of her.

"Coffee breaks are good for more than one thing Jen." He handed her the flower.

One pretty pink and white azalea. Jenny fingered the petals. It was stuck in a small vial of water. "Patience," she translated and laughed. "Is that for you or for me?"

"Could be for both. But I want it to say to you that I will be patient while you heal Jenny. Tell me if I'm rushing you, if I'm pushing you to do more than you feel comfortable with. I'm a guy and we don't always read between the lines too well. Sometimes I'm deaf and blind and you're gonna have to spell it out for me. But I'm willing Jen."

"Me too," she replied. "I think I'll give you that hug now."

Gibbs pulled her to him and held her securely within his arms, wanting to make her feel safe, wanting to be a comfort or whatever else she needed tonight.

"Will you lay down with me?" she asked. Obligingly Gibbs stretched out on the couch with Jenny beside him. "Close your eyes," she instructed him.

"Should I be concerned?" he asked, wondering what she was thinking.

"Just close them Jethro. I promise it won't hurt." Jenny propped her head up on her bent arm and began tracing her finger lightly over Gibbs's face. She drew gentle circles around his eyes, ran her finger down the bridge of his nose and with a feather soft touch, caressed his lips. She laughed when he tried to kiss her finger.

Gibbs sighed with pleasure. It was such a treat for him to feel her touch on his skin. No hesitation, no pauses, just Jenny loving him. He craved her touch like a man in a desert craved water and he would be exceedingly thankful for every single drop he got.

She followed the shape of his face, his jawline and cheekbones. At last she put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him gently. He responded, one hand on her back and the other behind her neck as her hair fell over his arm. It didn't last long, but it was a nice kiss.

"Thought for a second you were trying to put me to sleep. But you know nice ways to wake people up too, I see."

"It was my turn," she said simply, glad for him to be beside her.

She flipped her hair out of the way and laid her head down on his chest, listening. "Your heart's beating fast."

His laugh shook his chest. "Yup. Kinda hard to make it behave when there's a pretty girl laying right beside me."

"Am I bad for your heart Jethro?" she inquired with a smile.

He sighed. "Only when you're not around." A twinge gripped Jenny's head and her smiled became a wince. "Jen?" he asked cautiously, unsure.

"It's nothing Jethro. Just a headache. Time for bed I guess."

"I think we can handle that." He left their coffee mugs on the table and helped her up. Noemi would scold them tomorrow, but his focus was Jenny right now.

Once he'd seen Jenny settled in bed, Gibbs grabbed a cloth from the bathroom closet and ran it under cold water. He remembered back in Paris, how she used to get terrible headaches and cramps when it was her time of the month. The last couple months hadn't been as bad, but that didn't mean this month couldn't be an exception. He shook two aspirins onto his palm. If it turned out to be what he suspected, Jenny could take Midol tomorrow. He hoped the aspirin would help her sleep tonight.

"Thank you Jethro," she whispered when he laid the cloth on her forehead. The cool wetness felt good against her skin. She tried to look up so she could smile at him, but the glare of the light caused the pain to sharpen. "Can you shut the light off please?" she asked.

"Take these first Jen," he handed her the pills and her glass of water. When she'd swallowed them he turned off the light and got ready for bed in the bathroom with the door closed. Easier than trying to fumble with his pyjamas in the dark while tripping over shoes and furniture he was sure moved as soon as the lights were off.

Gibbs got into bed, staying on his side. When Jenny was dealing with the headaches, cramps and body soreness that went with being a woman once a month, she couldn't stand to be touched. And that was under normal circumstances. He listened to her breathing, hearing the shallow breaths he was taking. Her head really hurt, he knew.

"Time of the month?" he asked in a soft voice. The headaches made her sensitive to both light and sound.

Jenny rolled over and focused on her stomach, then her back. "Don't think so. I'm probably just tired."

"Okay. Sleep well hun. Let me know if you need anything."

"G'night," she whispered.