Tosh stood at Ianto's door and took a breath. It had been just over a week since the Cyberwoman attack and she had finally come to terms with what had happened. She got herself out of work early by working twice as hard to finish everything, much to Gwen and Owen's amusement and Jack's bemusement, before going to going to Tescos and buying a small shop; thinking that Ianto wouldn't have left the flat.

She tapped lightly on the door and stood patiently, feeling very nervous at seeing her estranged colleague; she had, after all, shot and killed his girlfriend, in a way. It didn't matter that she knew she was right in her actions, to have killed someone that was so loved made her feel guilty.

It took a few minutes but eventually the door opened to reveal a tired Ianto.

"Oh, Tosh.... Hi. I thought you might be the repair man for the door" he muttered, holding the still broken door steady.

"Ah, yes, I have been badgering Jack about that. Says he'll get around to it. I'll sort it out though." she smiled back, holding up the bags in her hands. "Mind if I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." he nodded, moving to one side to allow her passage through.

As Ianto shut the door, Tosh navigated herself through the flat to the kitchen, dumping the bags and her handbag on the side. She turned as she heard Ianto walk in, and sighed softly.

"Oh Ianto, I'm so sorry."

He nodded, looking very small. "That's fine."

"It isn't. You shouldn't have to loose someone like that."

"Well, you can't always get what you want, right? That's what the Stones said."

"How are you really, Ianto? Are you sleeping? Eating?"

"I'm tired, Tosh. So tired. I'm tired of getting up knowing that there's no point. I lived solely for her for so long I've forgotten how to live for me. I can't sleep, not even using the pills Owen gave me. All I can see is her as that thing. And you guys, you're always dead or almost dead and I can't help, I can't move and I try to, god Tosh, I really try but I can't save you."

Tears started to escape from Ianto's eyes, that were already red rimmed from crying. He let out a strangled sigh and moved to the living room, falling to the settee heavily. Tosh followed and sat next him, pulling one of his hands into her own.

"I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling, but Ianto you're not alone, okay? I want to be here for you but, obviously, I understand why you wouldn't want me to. I just don't want you to go through this thinking no one cares." she whispered, slowly rubbing his knuckle with her thumb.

"I'm sorry, Tosh, for putting you in danger. I never imagined that she'd be overcome like that, that she;d try and – oh god." he sobbed again, pulling his hand away and burying his face in both, crying harsly.

"Ianto, shush, shush." Tosh soothed, pulling him into an embrace, rocking him gently. "I knew when I signed on that there was danger of death, it's a part of Torchwood. I accepted that a long time ago. You have nothing to apologise for."

Ianto sobbed into Tosh's chest, holding on to her as he let go. "That danger was there because of me; I have everything to apologise for."

"Come on now, I've told you otherwise. Life is too short for blame. I like you Ianto, and I think of you as a friend within the crazy world we live in, that's what matters. We have to cherish what little we have because we don't know when it's going to leave." she pulled back and looked at Ianto, thumbing away his tears. "Now, I happen to think that you can pull through this, with or without me, because you have to."

Ianto looked at Tosh and smiled softly, "I expected you to hate me."

"I couldn't. I can't hate you for loving someone, even if it was a wrong situation. I don't think I can quite forgive you for hiding away, I've told you everything about me, but I understand why you did, and I'm not going to hold it against you."

"Thank you."

"Now, can you rustle me up a coffee? I've missed it so much." she smiled widely.

Ianto laughed, a full bodied laugh that the likes of hadn't passed his lips in so long. "Nice to know, but I haven't got any in."

"Ah, thought as much." she nodded, getting up and walking to the kitchen. "That's why I went shopping. You going to unpack with me, or I might end up putting something in the wrong place."