I don't know what drew me out into the open this morning. Maybe I was tired of looking at the same four walls, though I never really saw them anyway. Maybe I could not bear to be alone, with nothing to think about but her. Perhaps being out, among people with their silly insignificant thoughts swirling around me, I might have an hour or two of peace. Ha! Peace! I snorted to myself. The only true peace I had ever known was thousands of miles away from here, in a small rainy town that would forever be my home and that I could never return to.

Perhaps I could go back, I thought before I could help myself. The feeling that rushed through me was so sweet that I almost couldn't breathe. I could go back, just to see. To make sure she was safe and happy.

As soon as the thought came to me I squashed it. I could not do that to her, could not bring the darkness and horror of what I was back into her life. She deserved better than me, she deserved a normal life, not the soulless half life I had.

I walked aimlessly across a large courtyard. I didn't care where I was going or what I was doing. I ignored the clamor of thoughts around me. It washed over me in a buzz of jumbled thought and sound and I made no effort to decipher it. Why? I didn't care. There was no point to it. There was no purpose to anything anymore. It was if all the color had been sucked out of the world. I felt like a shell, as if I had left pieces of myself behind with her. Pieces I knew I could never retrieve. That I would never be worthy enough to retrieve. Bella was too good to be with someone like me and I could never be good enough to deserve her.

A loud argument to my right had me turning my head without conscious thought. Just two stupid human men arguing about some stupid human concern. I didn't care enough to listen to what the argument was about. I was about to turn back, to continue my meandering path across the courtyard when something drew my eyes past them. Then I froze.

My eyes locked with a pair of wide brown eyes. The same warm, melted chocolate eyes that had been haunting me for the last six months. The same eyes I saw in my mind a hundred times a day. It was her face, just as pale and beautiful as I remembered, down to the same blush of roses in her cheeks. As I watched, her lovely full lips drew up into a smile and her eyes softened and grew warmer with welcome and I felt my mouth drop open.

Was this it? I thought. Had I finally snapped? Had I finally pushed my self over the edge into insanity? Was I so desperate for the girl that my subconscious was giving me visions? Delusions? That had to be it. There was no way Bella could be here, that she would want to be here after what I had said to her in the forest that day.

I could still remember the shock and hurt on her face when I told her that I did not want her. I still could not believe how quickly she believed that lie. It still burned me like acid to think of how I hurt her, no matter how much for her benefit it was. But it was excruciating to think of how easily she had believed me. How after so many times of telling her that I loved her that she could so easily believe that I didn't want her. As if I could ever live without her. She was my only reason for existence. I would always love her, always want her.

No, Bella could not want to be with me again, not after what I had done to her. This vision I saw across the courtyard was just that. I was projecting my delusions on strangers, seeing what I wanted to see in a pair of brown eyes or a head of dark hair.

I would not allow my subconscious to rule me. I blinked to dispel the illusion then locked my jaw and very deliberately turned my head and continued my path across the courtyard.

I walked more quickly this time, though still at a human pace. When I reached the end of the courtyard, some masochistic impulse made me turn and look back, just to see if the vision was gone. It wasn't. She was still sitting there, seemingly frozen in place, her face a mask of pain and shock.

Wait, I thought. The thousands of times I had seen her in my mind since I had left she had been happy. I had to envision her happy in order to stay away from her. I had never envisioned a Bella who was in pain. What did this mean? Maybe this woman, the one that I had superimposed Bella's face over, was in pain for some other reason. But when I looked closely I could still see Bella's face. Was this really a delusion? What if it was her? But how could that be? Without my volition my feet crossed the courtyard towards my vision. I stopped when I was about ten yards away. My vision Bella remained intact. Was it possible then? Was she really here? Why? How would she know where to find me? Only Alice knew where I really was. Alice! That would explain a lot. Had Alice gone back to Forks, even after promising she wouldn't? What had she said to Bella? Did she tell her where I was; tell her to come find me? Why? Alice knew why I left, though she did not agree with my reasons. Would she have interfered, put Bella on a plane to come see me? I could see Alice doing something like that, if she thought it was the right thing to do. But would Bella agree to something like that? Why would she if she thought I didn't want her anymore? Did she still want me? Maybe even still love me? Enough to get on a plane by herself and fly to a country where she did not even speak the language to find me? My silent heart swelled at the idea. How I wished that were true. But how could it be?

As I stood there, still trying to decide if my vision was real or the product of insanity, the breeze picked up and blew across my face. There it was again, the wrecking ball. It hit me just as hard as it had that first day in Biology so long ago. The scent, her scent burned through me like wildfire, but this time instead of thirst I burned with longing. Longing for the girl in front of me, the only girl in the world. It was her. She really was here, in Rio, not ten yards from me. How? Why? What did this mean? I had to know; the curiosity burned in me as much as the longing. I had to talk to her, see her face up close. Find out why she was here and if she still loved me.

I crossed the last few yards between us and stopped a few feet away. She looked so beautiful. She was wearing a blue sundress; something Alice must have picked out for her. It tied around her neck and left much of her back bare, swirling down from a high waistline to stop a few inches above her knee. The color brought out the cream of her skin and I could remember how soft and silky that skin was. She had her thick dark hair pulled back into a soft ponytail that trailed down her back. She was the most exquisite thing I had ever seen. Looking at her face I realized she looked sad. Was it from my reaction before I realized that my "vision" was real? I could not bear to see her sad.

"Bella?" I said softly, some part of me still unsure, despite her scent, that it was really her.

Her head shot up and she turned in my direction. Her lovely face registered surprise, then relief then happiness, though there was hesitancy when she spoke.

"Edward."

The sound of her voice saying my name again sent a thrill through me.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" I still could not fully believe it myself.

She bit her lip and looked up at me uncertainly. Seeing her bite her lip reminded my just how soft those lips were and I had to stop myself from pulling her into my arms and pressing my lips to hers.

"Well," she began, hesitant again. "I came to find you, to bring you back home."

I had no words for the feelings that flowed though me. The thought of going home, of being with her, left me dizzy with such happiness that for a moment I was reeling. I pulled myself together with some effort.

"Why?" I asked.

She looked up at me from under the fringe of her lashes and blushed. She bit down on her lip again and took a deep breath.

"Edward, I want you to come back to Forks. I-well I", she stopped and took another deep breath. I could tell that whatever she wanted to say was hard for her. I could hear the sound of her heart accelerate and her next words came out in a rush.

"I miss you and I love you and I can't bear to be without you anymore. I know that you said that you didn't want me but I was hoping that maybe you might change your mind because I still want you, now and forever." Her cheeks were flaming scarlet by the time she finished and she looked down, seemingly unable to look me in the eye now that she had spoken.

For a moment I couldn't breathe. Couldn't speak. I stood there, frozen, trying to decide if I was dreaming. She was speaking the words I so desperately wanted to hear but I couldn't find a coherent thought in my head. I stared at her in shock.

She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes roaming across my face. Then she took a deep breath and sighed.

"That's what I thought," she said, shaking her head ruefully. "I knew it guess, but I was still hopeful." I saw the tears swimming in her eyes and her lower lip trembled. "I'm sorry I bothered you." She sighed again and turned to walk away.

Seeing her about to leave, to be gone from me again, unfroze me in an instant. I could not bear it anymore. I closed the gap between us swiftly, putting my hand on her shoulder and turning her towards me. I heard her gasp as I pulled her up against my body and pressed my lips to hers. She was just as soft and warm as I remembered and her lips were just as silky. I felt her arms snake around my neck and her fingers thread into my hair as she pressed herself more closely to me. I clasped her to me, running my hands up and down the soft skin on her back. I felt her breath against my cheek as I pressed kisses into her jaw, her throat, the curve of her shoulder. I could not help myself as I whispered her name over and over.

"Oh, Edward," she said breathlessly. "I've missed you so much."

I took her face between my hands and brushed the soft smooth skin of her cheeks with my thumbs.

"I've missed you too," I whispered. "More than you can ever know." I brushed my lips against hers once more then pulled her against me. She pressed her face against my chest and wrapped her arms tightly around my waist. I laid my cheek against the top of her soft, dark hair and wrapped my arms around her.

I don't know how long we stood there, holding each other. Finally I raised my head and pressed my lips against her forehead. She raised her head and looked at me. I felt all my emotions burning in my eyes and her breath caught with what she saw there. Love, joy, desire all swirled within me and I knew they all showed on my face. She brushed her warm fingertips against my cheek and I turned my face into the caress.

"You are just as beautiful as I remember, more even." I said. She was still breathtaking. "I can't believe that you are really here though. Are you really here or have I lost my mind completely?" Despite having her in my arms, it seemed so unreal that she was here with me.

She laughed, a beautiful sound. "I'm really here." She wrapped her arms around me again and hugged herself to me. "Don't I feel real?" There was laughter in her voice.

"Yes you do," I said, stroking my fingers down her back. "But I don't understand how you got here. How you came to be in Rio in the first place." What could have made her come here? Was it Alice? If not, then what? I had to know.

She looked up at me, her eyes cautious. "Well, that is kind of a long story and I would rather not go into it standing here. I have a room in a hotel not far from here, maybe that would be better?"

"Of course, let's go."