Disclaimer: I still do not own Big Time Rush or their songs or the characters from the show…I wish I did! Ha-ha Enjoy the story!
Chapter Five: Imagine Me Without You
'You screwed up so many times' I thought as I ran on the track. I didn't want to go to the pool to swim away my thoughts because I knew Carlos would find me there. Mio was on a date with James and Manny was running with me. I was on the track team back home but Manny had always been faster than me. I listened to my iPod as I ran and I was surprised by how many love songs are on it. I switched to my play list labeled "rock" and began to run a little faster as Linkin Park's song "Faint" began.
"I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got"
As I ran on the track, it felt like I was running away. But you cant run away. It made me remember my mom.
"You cant run away from your memories Mia. No matter how far you are, or how long you run, they will always be there in your heart." she used to tell me.
Was she preparing me for love? Did she know that I would feel like running away from this? That I would think of nothing other than him, no matter what amount of pain he caused my heart? I wondered if my parents had had a romance like this.
"Manny wait up!" I called after him.
He stopped and waited for me to catch up to him. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"If I pursued Carlos instead of the other way around, would you hate me?" I asked, a little afraid of his answer.
"No. I'd be mad at you for going back to him because I know he'll hurt you again." his face seemed irritated.
"But all those times were because of Jennifer. I know if she weren't around Carlos and I would never have broken up." I was breathing hard. It had been some time since I had gotten out for a run.
"He still has feelings for his ex Mia." he crossed his arms.
"What if we work past that?" Did I sound desperate?
"Oh my gosh," he smiled, "you don't just love him. You're in love with him."
I could feel my cheeks blushing. "Yes."
"Then I'm all for it", he pulled me into a hug.
I went back to the Palm Woods with Manny, eager to talk to Carlos. But first I needed to shower. I felt my tummy rumble. And get some food too. Manny showered first and left. I showered and ate happily. I went down to apartment 2J where I suspected everyone to be. Mio, James, Jo, Kendall, Camille and Logan were there. I asked for Carlos.
"Maybe he's at the lobby or the pool." Mio said.
I nodded and walked out.
I got off the elevator on my floor and ran into my room forgetting something. I picked up the picture of Carlos and I off the floor and placed it back inside my locket. Then I put the picture of us back on the table. Yeah what I said a few days ago to Carlos at the restaurant was really how I felt, but without him I feel worse. Without him I'm lost and confused, it's hard to last a day without him. I don't know, maybe I'm a fool in love.
I saw Carlos at the vending machine. I carefully walked behind him, trying not to make any sounds. I covered his eyes.
"Guess who?" I asked.
"Well," he began, "only Mia has these soft hands."
"Correct!" I laughed.
He turned around with a confused face. "Aren't you mad at me."
"Carlos-"
Loud voices were coming from the pool. We both looked at one another then towards the pool. We both speed walked over and saw Manny with Jennifer.
"Leave my cousin alone! Carlos loves her! Stop playing stupid games with her you bitch!" Manny yelled.
"Shut up you faggot!" she yelled back. She then smiled when she saw the shocked expression on his face. "Yeah I said it." She looked around and pointed at my cousin. "He's gay." She smiled again. Manny looked like he wanted to kill her but I knew he would never hit a girl. He cleared his throat, and whispered something to Jennifer, to low for me to hear. Jennifer's face was shocked and she looked like she was close to tears. Manny walked by, but smiled while looking at me.
'No one messes with my family.' I thought as I began to walk over to her.
Carlos grabbed my wrist. "Mia, she's not worth it."
"No one messes with my family and gets away with it Carlos." I said darkly. He let me go and I continued walking to Jennifer who had a smile plastered on her face.
I punched her in the nose as hard as I could. I'm done with her games. "You stupid bitch!" I yelled. "If you got a problem with me you take it up with me! You don't bring my family into this! You're a sad little girl who needs to grow up! If you love Carlos that's ok…" I paused, looking back at Carlos. Then I smiled and looked back at Jennifer. "But I'm in love with him. And Carlos will go to whoever he's happy with." I turned around and touched Carlos' arm and smiled and then I left.
I took a sip of water then wrote the finishing touches on my new song. This was one I definitely want on my album. I also want to do my second music video with this song.
I heard a tap on my door. I put my guitar down. "Come in."
I looked up to see Carlos sanding there smiling. "Hey."
I blushed as I looked down to force my hair to cover my face. "I thought you hated me", he said softly.
"Well you were wrong. Didn't you hear me at the pool?" I finally looked up at him and couldn't help but look into his chocolate brown eyes. That's when it hit me. I had sounded so selfish. I was only thinking of all the pain I had been in. Carlos obviously had been hurting too and I only thought of myself. I wanted to jump into his strong arms and feel his warm touch and feel that bolt of electricity we felt every time we touched. I wish Jennifer never had come into the picture at all. Carlos and I never would be going through all this.
"What's this?" Carlos grabbed the paper I had written my song on. "Imagine Me Without You by Mia Montez."
"That's-"
"About us?" he asked. I nodded. "Imagine me without you, I'd be lost and so confused, I wouldn't last a day" he read. Then he stopped and squinted his eyes at me as if imagining me singing it.
"Sing it to me", he said.
I blushed as I grabbed my guitar. "Only if you sing it with me."
"It's a deal", he said softly.
I began to play the guitar and I smiled while I looked at him.
"As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
'Till the end of time, forever
You're the only love I'll ever need
In my life, you're all that matters
In my eyes, the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me
When I found you, I was blessed
And will never leave you-I need you
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day-I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
And you'll know its just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I cant imagine me without you
When I met you, I was falling
Your love lifted me back on my feet
It was like you heard my calling
And you rushed to set me free
When I found you, I was blessed
And will never leave you (Ohh)
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day-I'd be afraid
Without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
And you'll know it's just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I cant imagine me without you(Ohhh)
When I found you, I was blessed
And will never leave you-I need you
Imagine me without you
I'd be lost and so confused (I'd be so confused)
I wouldn't last a day with this pain (with this pain)
Without you there to see me through
Imagine me without you
And you'll know its just impossible
Because of you, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I cant imagine me (I cant imagine me) without you"
"I've missed you", I said after a few moments of silence.
"I love you Mia, I've missed you so much." Carlos kissed me and I felt my heart had been placed back together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Did you enjoy Chapter five? ^-^ The song Mia and Carlos sing together is called "Imagine Me Without You" by Luis Fonsi. What Manny says to Jennifer will be revealed in the next chapter! Until then, bye-bye!