We spent the next two days exploring the city. Bella was fascinated by the native customs and by the locals in native dress. We wandered through an open market and she was delighted by all the different and varying wares offered by the street vendors. There were exotic fruits and vegetables on display as well as various animals-birds, monkeys, even some fish-and Bella was captivated by them.
She bought a few souvenirs to bring home for Charlie. At night I took her through the streets to witness some of the native festivals. The city at night teemed with life and Bella drank it all in.
Seeing everything through the filter of Bella's eyes gave me a greater appreciation of the city than I had ever had before. Her enjoyment of her surroundings, hearing her gasps of delight at things that were new to her made me glad to be able to give her these experiences. I wanted to give her more times like this, to see the whole world again through Bella's eyes. I wanted to give her everything.
Each night she fell asleep in my arms and I wished that Friday would never come. Having Bella all to myself made me loath to share her with others again. But Friday morning came too soon and we made our way to the airport. Bella seemed quiet on the plane.
"Are you okay?" I asked. For the millionth time I wished I could read her mind.
She looked up at me and smiled. "Yes, it's just kind of sad, leaving Rio. It felt like we were in our own little bubble and now I have to share you with everyone else. But I am glad that I got to make so many new memories with you." She kissed my cheek and smiled again.
"I was thinking the same thing. Like we were the only two people in the world." I rested my cheek against the top of her head and we sat in silence for a long time.
Bella fell asleep on the plane and I woke her up before we landed. The plane set down in Juneau and we rented a car to make the drive to Denali. Bella spent most of the ride looking out the windows. I saw her twist her hands occasionally in her lap.
"What are you thinking?" I asked.
"Just thinking about seeing your family again."
"Why does that worry you?" I could not understand why she would be apprehensive to see my family. They loved her.
"Do they blame me? You know, for everything that happened? If it hadn't been for my birthday none of this would have happen-." Her words were cut off suddenly as I whipped the car to the side of the road and slammed to a halt.
I took her face in mine and forced her to look in my eyes.
"Don't ever, ever blame yourself for what happened Bella! Do you hear me?" How could she even be thinking such a thing? She nodded in my hands.
"You did absolutely nothing wrong. If there is anyone to blame in all of this, it is me." She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off.
"Shhh! Listen to me. I am the one who caused all this pain-for you, for me, for my family-by leaving in the first place. I wanted so badly to keep you safe, for you to be happy that it blinded me to how much it would hurt the both of us." I shook my head; she should never feel to blame for what happened, ever.
What happened on your birthday was an accident and I blew everything out of proportion. I thought I was doing the right thing and there was nothing in the world that would have been able to change my mind. But don't ever take this on yourself, okay?" She nodded again. I gently kissed her lips then pulled her across the console of the car and held her to me.
It never occurred to me that she would think she was to blame for any of this. Of course, knowing Bella I should have expected it. She was ever the martyr. But I could not allow her to shoulder this responsibility. This one was mine to bear. She had borne so much already and it was all my fault.
"I will never be able to apologize enough for what I put you through and I will never stop trying to make it up to you."
"Just having you with me now is enough." She said softly. I shook my head and kissed her forehead.
She was wrong. I had hurt her so much. I would do everything in my power to make sure that she was happy from now on. It would be my mission, my purpose in life.
I released her and put the car in gear and pulled back onto the highway. I reached over and took her hand in mine. We drove in silence again but it seemed like she was more relaxed, though still deep on thought.
We pulled up in front of Tanya's house a few hours later. Alice was outside and down the stairs before we were able to get out of the car. She flitted up to me first and practically jumped into my arms to hug me fiercely.
"Edward!" she trilled. "I'm so glad to see you! It has been too long since I saw you last. You look so much better, happier." Of course you do, you have your Bella back!
There was no way I could stay mad at Alice. She had given me back everything I had ever wanted. I hugged her back just as tightly.
"I'm glad to see you again too, you little pixie." I grinned at her. She grinned back then released me.
She turned to Bella and hugged her too, though not nearly as hard as she had hugged me. It would have crushed Bella's bones if she had.
"Bella! I am so glad you did this. And you are wearing the clothes I bought you too!" She sounded almost as happy about that as seeing me again. The pink dress Bella wore was something she never would have picked herself but it suited her perfectly. She was stunning. Of course I always thought that.
Bella scowled at her. "You really didn't give me much choice, did you Alice? Since you stole all my clothes? It was wear these or nothing at all."
I tried to push that image out of my mind. Thinking about Bella with no clothes on-well it didn't exactly help my concentration any.
"I had to Bella," Alice said. "Everything you packed was so boring. I knew you would want to look dazzling when you saw Edward again." Bella looked at her, exasperated.
"Let's go inside," I said. I could hear the anxious thoughts of my family.
Alice led the way up the porch stairs and into the house. My family was waiting for us in the living room. Carlisle and Esme were standing together next to a large couch, Jasper was leaning up against the wall and Rosalie and Emmett were standing near the staircase. I was surprised to see them; I had thought they were still in Africa. I heard everyone's thoughts as we walked in.
He looks so happy again-Esme
I knew she would be good for him. He looks more at peace than I have seen in a long time-Carlisle
About time he stopped looking like he wants to leap off a bridge or murder everything in sight-Emmett
I still don't know what he sees in her but at least he is happy again-Rosalie
Jasper's thoughts surprised me the most. I saw in his mind what he wanted to do and when he caught my eye I nodded slightly in his direction. He relaxed immediately.
Tanya and her family were standing off to the side. I felt them looking at Bella with curiosity.
"Edward! It is so good to see you again, son." You look so happy! I've missed you so much! We can never thank Bella enough for bringing you back to us. She came forward and hugged me very tightly. She looked like she would be crying if such a thing would have been possible. I felt horrible for having put her through so much worry about me.
"I'm glad to see you again too, Mom." I grinned at her and she gasped in delight. She turned to Bella, who was standing next me.
"Bella, thank you so, so much for what you have done. It means so much to all of us to have Edward back with us and it is all because of you." She gently kissed her on the forehead before hugging her tightly. Bella blushed bright red.
"I'm glad to see you again too, Esme. I've missed you." She doesn't even realize what a wonderful thing she has done! Esme hugged Bella tighter.
Carlisle approached me and gave me a firm hug. Glad that you are back with us, son. He thought. You have made all us very happy again.
He too turned to Bella and hugged her as well. "Thank you for giving us back our family, daughter." She's part of this family now, Edward. Don't let her get away again. I saw Bella's eyes fill with tears but she blinked them back.
"Thanks, Carlisle. It's good to see you again.
I squeezed her hand encouragingly and she smiled up at me. Esme's thoughts were joyous when I smiled back. She had thought I would never smile again. Neither had I for that matter.
"About time you showed up again Edward," Emmett's voice boomed across the room. Good to see you so happy, bro.
"You too, Bella." She's a lot stronger than you thought she was isn't she? Going to get you like that took a lot of guts. He winked at her and she giggled.
Rosalie didn't say anything but she smiled at me and Bella. She had never been demonstrative to either Bella or me but I could hear in her thoughts that she was glad I was home too.
Alice had gone to stand next to Jasper and was now gently pushing him forward. He approached us carefully and I could feel everyone tense with reaction. I held out my arms to him and took him in a bear hug.
Thanks brother. Everyone relaxed and Emmett laughed his booming laugh. I let go of him and he looked at me speculatively. Is it alright? He thought. I nodded to him and he turned to face Bella. I felt everyone tense again.
He looked down at Bella apprehensively. She did not look nervous or scared. In fact she smiled shyly up at him. He reached down and took one of her hands in his.
"Bella, I am so very sorry for what happened on your birthday. I swear to you that I will never ever hurt you. Can you ever forgive me for what happened?" I saw him shift his feet nervously, awaiting her answer. Please? He thought. Her forgiveness meant a lot to him, even though he didn't really think he would get it.
Bella took his hand in both of hers. "I forgave you the moment it happened, Jasper. I know that you would never harm me. Please don't give it another thought." Then she reached out and hugged him. I felt the shock of it go through everyone in the room. This was not the reaction they had expected. But they didn't know Bella.
Jasper was more shocked than anyone else. He had thought that Bella would hate him for everything that had happened on her birthday and afterwards. For her to forgive him so freely astounded him.
"Welcome back to the family, little sister." Jasper said. I could feel the waves of relief and elation pouring out of him and into the room. Bella looked up at him and grinned, tears in her eyes.
I could feel the speculation in Tanya's family and turned to make the introductions.
"Bella, this is Tanya, Irina, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar. They are our other family."
Bella nodded shyly at them and they came forward individually to introduce themselves.
"I'm Irina and this is Kate," she said, motioning to her sister. She is very pretty, Irina thought. But she looks scared. It can't be because we are vampires. She must be shy. "It is very nice to meet you at last." Bella nodded slightly. Poor girl, Kate thought, she seems so shy. But sweet. Edward, it is wonderful to see you smile again. I thought you forgot how. I smiled at her.
"And I am Carmen and this is Eleazar. It is a pleasure to meet you. We have heard much about you from Carlisle and the rest of the family." Bella blushed crimson at her words and they stared at her, bemused. What a strange reaction, Carmen thought. She doesn't look like she likes to be the center of attention, Eleazar thought. I guess no one had told them how averse to attention Bella was.
Tanya approached last. She looked at Bella inquisitively. I suppose she is pretty, she thought. But I can't believe that she is what all the fuss was about. I stiffened and Tanya looked at me sheepishly. Sorry, she thought. Tanya had made it clear to me a long time ago that she wished that we could be more than friends. I had gently refused but I knew she still thought about it. She could not understand the attraction that Bella had for me, despite the same kind of attraction that human men had for her.
"I am Tanya," she said to Bella now. "We are glad that you are here, you have made Edward very happy again." Of course, I could have made Edward happy to…her thoughts turned to all the ways she wanted to make me happy and I blocked them from my mind and then turned my attention to Bella.
"It is very nice to meet all of you as well." Bella said. She was staring in wonder at the group. She looked up at me and I could read the uncertainty in her eyes. She was uncomfortable around all these new people and the attention she had received from my family had embarrassed and bewildered her.
"Let's all sit down and talk," I suggested.
We all went to sit down on the couches in the living room. I was glad the room was so spacious. Bella sat next to me on my right. Esme sat on my left and put her arm around my shoulder and onto Bella's. To my surprise, Jasper sat on the other side of Bella and he reached out and took her hand in his. Bella looked surprised too but not uncomfortable. I was glad that Jasper had been able to finally forgive himself. Bella's complete understanding and forgiveness of him had gone a long way in helping their relationship. Alice sat on the arm of the couch next to Jasper and everyone else seated themselves on the various other couches and armchairs.
Carlisle was the first to speak.
"So what are your plans now Edward?" he asked.
"Well, Bella has to be back for the beginning of the school year in three weeks. I plan on going back to finish out our senior year in Forks."
Bella leaned against my shoulder and took my hand in hers. I could feel the contentment radiating out of her. I knew Jasper felt it too.
You two are so full of happiness I am surprised you can contain it all, Jasper thought.
I grinned at him. I was full of happiness-happy to be with Bella, to be with my family, to finally have something to live for again.
I brought my Bella's hand to my lips. Ugh Edward, how cheesy can you be? Kiss her the right way already, Emmett thought. I rolled my eyes at him.
"That is excellent, son. I will call the hospital and let them know that I want to come back. I don't think it will be a problem." Carlisle said.
"I doubt it," Rosalie put in, speaking for the first time. "You are the best thing that ever happened to that dinky little town. If they didn't welcome you back with open arms I would have some serious doubts about their mental capacity."
Everyone laughed.
"I'm curious, Bella. How were you able to find Edward in a city as big as Rio?" Esme asked.
Bella blushed as twelve pairs of vampire eyes focused on her.
"It was just luck, really. I had a picture but I don't speak a lot of Spanish so getting people to understand what I wanted them to was kind of hard." Emmett laughed out loud and Bella smiled at him.
"I hope you didn't get too lost, little sister," Emmett teased.
Bella blushed again. "Well," she said sheepishly, "a couple of times." Emmett almost fell out of his chair laughing and Bella joined in with everyone else.
I didn't find it quite as funny and turned to glare at Alice. She knew what I was thinking.
I know, I know. But she was fine, really. I told her not to go out at night unless it was an absolute emergency. And I stayed in Rio for a few days to make sure she was okay, she just doesn't know that. I only left when I saw that her path was going to intersect yours. She was completely safe. I was mollified, for now.
Bella was speaking again. "I was lucky to find a woman who spoke English and who remembered seeing Edward. She told me where I was likely to find him and I waited for him. Then he showed up. That's all, really."
There was much, much more to it than that but neither Bella nor I wanted to reveal anymore about our reunion. Rio was our special place now and it was no one else's business.
Tanya spoke suddenly. I hadn't been focusing on her and her words took me by surprise. "Bella, I'm curious, what caused you to go find Edward in the first place? We have all heard the story of what happened between you and Edward and I am surprised that you would do something like that after the way you were treated. It couldn't have been easy to go after him when he rejected you like that."
She had a smug look on her face and I felt the maliciousness behind her question in her mind. She wanted to remind Bella how much I had hurt her. She still thought she might have a chance to change my mind. Unbelievable.
I felt Bella stiffen by my side and her hand clenched mine in reflex. I saw her cheeks burn cherry red and I knew she was embarrassed that strangers seemed to know all about what had happened between us. I growled softly at Tanya.
I saw Esme's head whip around in Tanya's direction. How dare she say something like that? How cruel!
Jaspers thoughts were running in the same direction. There is no reason to bring that up again! Especially when it is such a sore spot with all of us. How can she be such a bitch? Just because Edward prefers Bella to her. That's just cruel!
Carlisle broke the uncomfortable silence. "Tanya, there is no reason to get into that. What's done is done and Bella's reasons are her own. We are just so happy to have both of them back with us." I liked the way he emphasized both.
"Let's focus on the family being whole again and forget the rest." And stop trying to hurt my family. I heard him think angrily. We are just getting everything back together and you will not tear it apart! I was shocked by the vehemence in his thoughts. Carlisle was always so calm, even in his mind. To hear how angry he was inside at Tanya's machinations gave me a new respect for him.
"So, Bella," Alice said, "do you want to go shopping with me when we get back to Forks? You are going to need all kinds of new stuff to start the school year."
Bella groaned in dread at the thought. I knew that they very last thing that she wanted, other than being apart from me, was to go shopping with Alice.
"I have plenty of clothes, Alice." Bella sighed. "Or at least I did until you stole them all."
Everyone looked at Alice, who did not look chagrined in the least, and laughed.
"You stole her clothes?" Rosalie asked, shaking with laughter.
"Well, everything she packed was so unstylish and boring. I knew she would want to knock Edward's socks off when he saw her again." Bella's cheeks reddened. "And it obviously worked because here he is."
I shook my head and laughed. There were a few outfits that I had been glad Alice had slipped into Bella's luggage-those blue pajamas especially-but I would gladly burn to a pile of ash before I ever, ever told Alice that.
"Thanks a lot, Alice. Good to know how boring my clothes are. What did you do with them anyway, after you snuck them out of my suitcase?"
Alice looked sheepish now. I read what she was thinking and barked out a laugh before throwing my hand over my mouth. My hand tightened on Bella's; she was not going to like this.
"Well, really Bella, everything you had was so two years ago, and I knew that you could look so amazing in some of the newer fashions. I will help you pick out plenty of new stuff and you will never miss the old ones."
"Miss them? Alice, what did you DO?" Bella was yelling now. Emmett was laughing so hard he could not take a breath.
"Well…I kind of…well… gave them to charity." Alice cringed.
"WHAT? ALICE! HOW COULD YOU?" Bella was screeching now. I was trying to whisper calming words in her ear and Jasper was sending wave after wave of calm in her direction. It didn't seem to be helping. She was shaking with anger and her fists were clenched tightly, including the one holding mine.
"I will buy you brand new ones, Bella, I promise." Alice exclaimed. "You will never miss your old ones, really." She was pleading now.
Bella was seething next to me and I could see she was doing everything possible to calm down. I nodded at Jasper and he sent another flood of peaceful feelings her way. It seemed to work better this time but I could see she was not able to speak yet. There were angry tears in her eyes.
Esme was reproachful. "You should not have done that, Alice. Bella has a right to wear whatever she feels comfortable in. Giving away all her clothes was inexcusable."
Alice hung her head. She did feel bad, though more about Bella's reaction than about giving away her clothes. She was excited about shopping for new ones for her. I knew that to Bella, shopping with Alice was like descending into the seventh circle of hell.
I rubbed my hand up and down Bella's back and she looked up at me. She was very unhappy about this but she was trying to be calm. She didn't want to continue to make a scene. I knew from her face though that Alice was going to be in big trouble when Bella finally got her alone.
"So…Did you enjoy Rio, Bella?" Carlisle asked. He was trying to get the conversation back to more mundane topics.
Bella took a deep breath before speaking. "Actually I did, once I found Edward that is." She smiled up at me. "He gave me a tour of the city and there was just so much." Her voice was more enthusiastic now. "We went to an open air market and there were so many things to see. There was even a monkey I thought about bringing home to you Emmett; you two seemed so similar I thought the two of you might get along." She grinned and Emmett guffawed loudly. Suddenly he jumped up to stand in front of Bella. Before anyone knew what he was doing he had lifted her up and was swinging her around in a circle.
"Good to have you back with us, little bit," he said, laughing loudly. Bella was laughing so hard she shook in Emmett's arms.
Rosalie pushed herself out of her chair and came to stand next to them. "Put her down and stop being such a jackass Emmett, if you can that is." She was smiling slightly as she said it and I could hear in her mind that she was happy to see Emmett so happy again. My leaving had taken some of the joy out of him and it was starting to resurface now and she was grateful.
Emmett lowered Bella gently to the ground and turned in a lightning quick move and picked Rosalie up. She got the same treatment Bella had but her laughter was a little more contained. "Put me down you big ox! Sheesh, if I didn't know better I would think you were twelve years old." There was amusement in her voice.
Carlisle came to stand next to Esme and she stood and wrapped her arms around him. I could hear that they were both overjoyed to have their family back together. Seeing the playfulness that had been absent for too long made them very happy. I looked over at Alice and Jasper. They were holding hands and grinning at Emmett's antics. Bella sat down on the couch next to me again and took my hand. Once again Jasper took her other one and I could hear how grateful he was to her for causing this change in our family.
Emmett put Rosalie down and they walked hand in hand back to the couch. Tanya's family was looking at us all in wonder and I could hear how shocked they were in the change that had come over us all. We were happy and carefree again. They looked at Bella with a new respect that delighted me. Seeing everyone in such high spirits had me ecstatic. I was more thankful than ever that Bella'd had the courage to come find me. I leaned over and kissed her forehead and she turned to smile at me. Esme's joy emanated from her in waves.
Suddenly Bella's stomach grumbled and the whole room heard it. Everyone turned to look at Bella. Her cheeks burned brighter than I had ever seen before and I was alarmed that she might actually faint from embarrassment.
"Sorry," I said. "I keep forgetting to make sure you eat." She looked up at me, mortified.
Esme spoke up. "Come on, Bella. We have plenty of food in the kitchen." She stood up and reached for Bella's hand. Bella took it gratefully. She seemed relieved as Esme led her from the room.
I tried to pay attention to what was going on around me but the bulk of my attention was focused on the kitchen. Everyone had separated into their own private conversations. Jasper and Emmett were talking about a hunting trip. I needed to go with them. It had been almost two weeks since I had hunted last. The thirst was starting to burn within me. They were making plans to go to a spot where they knew there were some bears. I was only half listening.
I tuned into Esme and saw her open the refrigerator and ask Bella what she wanted. Bella looked amused by that and asked why they even had food at all. Esme told her that Tanya and her sisters often had human guests. Bella didn't ask why and I was glad. I didn't want any thoughts to be put in her head. I saw the way she flinched at Tanya's name and so did Esme.
That witch! Esme thought. She knew exactly what she was doing, trying to hurt Bella like that! Well, I am not going to allow that! Esme's thoughts were vehement but her voice was soft when she spoke.
Don't let her bother you. She has always had a soft spot for Edward, though he has never given her the least bit of encouragement. She is a little jealous that you have managed to steal his heart. Esme told her. I saw Bella roll her eyes. Didn't she know she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen? Tanya could never hold a candle to her.
I watched Bella hunt around the kitchen. I laughed out loud when she asked Esme to cut up the fruit for her. She was right; she would probably cut herself. Esme's laughter echoed out of the kitchen a few seconds later. Everyone looked at me and I quickly excused myself outside. I wanted to hear Bella and Esme's discussion without interruptions.
I sat down on the far corner of the porch, well out of the way and focused back on Esme.
-good to see you again, Esme. I've missed you. You're like my mom away from home, if you know what I mean. I felt Esme's happiness.
I've missed you too. I think of you as my daughter and I am glad you are back with us. My family is complete now and it is all because of you. Bella's skin turned the lovely shade of pink that I adored and she shook her head to deny it.
Bella, you don't know what it has been like around here. Emmett wouldn't laugh and Rosalie was more upset than she let most of us know. Jasper spent most of his time alone because there was so much sadness coming from everyone. Alice even spent less time shopping. I saw Bella's eyes widen.
Edward doesn't understand how much at the heart of this family he is. When we first came here, you know, after, it was so hard on him. He could tell how much his anguish at leaving you was hurting us. We couldn't do anything to make him feel better; our sympathy only seemed to make it worse. Soon he just left, gone for weeks at a time. When he would come back we were so happy to see him and so distressed at how much he was suffering. Finally he stopped coming back at all. He would call us, let us know he was ok, but we could tell how much he was hurting.
I felt disgusted with myself. How had I let my pain hurt so many people that I cared about? I was such a horrible selfish person.
I saw through Esme's eyes that Bella had tears in hers. Esme, I'm so sorry. Sorry that you and Edward and the rest of the family had to suffer so much. Do you ever think that you all would have been better off if I had never come into Edward's life? All I have done is bring suffering on all of you. Her face twisted into a grimace. I could not imagine what my life would be like if I had not met Bella. She had become the center of my world so absolutely that I could not remember what my previous life had been like.
Bella, no. Bella, you have no idea how much brightness you have brought to our lives by your mere presence. Bella looked at her skeptically. I mean it, Bella. Her voice was firm with conviction. She needs to understand how amazing she is, Esme thought.
Before you, Edward merely existed. He traveled though his life, doing what was expected of him, but not really living it. He would have moments of happiness, of joy, excitement, but really he just wandered. Then, after he met you and fell in love with you, Bella it was like suddenly the sun emanated from him. And he brought all that light to the whole family. He was so happy the rest of us were infected by it too. Like a virus.
Bella smiled at that. I hadn't realized that everyone else had been so affected. All I had been able to concentrate on was Bella; I had been oblivious to everything else. Of course, I was still that way.
I have never seen him so happy as when he was with you. I heard him laugh more often than I could ever remember. He even started playing the piano again, something he hadn't done in almost a decade. That was you, Bella. You caused those changes in him. He saw in you the things we have all come to see. Your kind and generous nature. How selfless and good you are, what a beautiful soul you have. And we love you for the same reasons. She sighed when Bella shook her head in denial.
You don't see how special you really are do you? Bella, from the first moment, you accepted us for what we are and loved us for who we are. That is such a rare thing, in a human or a vampire. You have such a huge capacity for love and we are so glad to have you with us, in our family. I was glad that my family was able to see all the wonderful things that I loved about Bella.
Bella looked surprised by Esme's words.
But Esme, you are all so wonderful how can anyone help but to love you?
Esme laughed. That's exactly what I mean Bella. Not everyone can love so completely, with such acceptance. You are truly special. She really was.
Thank you, Esme.
Thank you, Bella. I know it must have taken a lot of courage to go track Edward down, more than I can fathom. I will be forever thankful for your strength; I don't know many people who could be that strong. I was still amazed by that courage.
Bella frowned. I'm not that strong, Esme. I was terrified the whole time, worried I was making a huge fool of myself. I had no idea what he would do, what he would say. I was ready to come back home. What was I doing? Chasing someone who had rejected me; I felt pathetic. It hurt me so much when he left me. I didn't know his real reasons. I thought I was unloved and un-loveable. I mean really, Edward is so amazing and I have always felt so insignificant next to him. When he told me that he didn't want me, that I wasn't good for him, it wasn't so hard to believe. How could I ever be good enough for an angel? Bella laughed without amusement.
I sat there, stunned. I had no idea she felt that way. She felt insignificant? Next to me? I was so in awe of everything about her. She was a hundred times better than I could ever hope to be and she thought she wasn't good enough for me? I couldn't believe it.
It hurt me to hear that she felt un-loveable; the pain of it burned in my chest. I had damaged her self esteem so much and I knew I would do everything in my power to make her understand how truly wonderful she was.
Bella, my dear sweet Bella. Please don't ever feel that way. You are the best thing that has ever happened to him. You complete him in a way I thought he never would be able to be. You are not insignificant. You fill up the holes in his soul and he does the same for you. You belong together; you were made for each other.
I would be forever lucky that Esme was my mother. She always knew the perfect thing to say. It was true. I felt complete, whole when I was with Bella. We did belong together. Nothing would be able to keep us apart ever again.
I saw Bella brush tears from her eyes.
Well, now that I know the reason he left I feel better. Angry but better. And there is no way I am ever going to let him get away from me again. Next time he might go to Siberia or something. If you think my Portuguese is bad you should hear my Russian.
I laughed out loud. Only Bella would think like that. I understood her anger now too. I was angry at myself for what I had done to her. Somehow I would find a way to make that pain go away. Until then I would simply give her all the love I had. And that was an awful lot.
I watched Bella and Esme hold each other for a long time. Then I heard the front door open and Jasper came out.
We are leaving in about an hour to go hunt. Are you coming with us? It had been a while since I had hunted with my brothers and we were all looking forward to it.
I nodded my head and went inside to find Bella.
I found Bella and Esme in the kitchen, looking out the large bay window with their arms around each other's waists. They were the picture of contentment.
Esme heard me enter before Bella did and she sent her thoughts my way.
Edward, you have a lot of making up to do to this girl. I am pretty sure you heard what was said but I don't think you really know how much you hurt her. Make her see you won't leave her again. She loves you and you love her. Make sure she knows that.
Bella heard me approach and turned in Esme's arm to look up at me. The smile she gave me was breathtaking. Yes, I would make sure she knew everyday that I loved her and would never leave her again.
She held out her free hand to me and I took it, moving to stand on her other side. I wrapped my hand around her back, resting my hand on Esme's and we all stood there quietly for a moment. Esme's mind was so full of joy I could not decipher it; it was just a constant flow of happiness.
I looked down at Bella and she was looking up at me. Even though I needed to I did not want to leave her, even for only a few hours. We had not been apart since the courtyard and I was loath to leave her now, even for the most necessary of reasons.
"Jasper and Emmett want me to go hunting with them. Do you mind?"
She looked at me quizzically then smiled. "Of course not, don't be silly. I'm not the only one around here who needs to eat." She laughed. "You need to take care of yourself. Go. It has been too long since you have spent time with them. I'll be here when you get back." She smiled at me tenderly.
She was right. I did need to spend time with my brothers. I had missed them, a lot.
I kissed her on her forehead and nodded.
I bent to whisper in her ear, even though I knew Esme would hear. "Look after my heart; I'm leaving it here with you." I gave her waist a quick squeeze and left the room.
I found Jasper and Emmett in the living room. They were discussing the best place to go hunt.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
They both nodded and we went out the back door into the woods. We were traveling to a heavily wooded area many miles from the cabin that had a large variety of wildlife. Emmett was excited about finding some bears. With his immense strength they were the only things that seemed to give him any challenge, though it never was much of a contest anyway. He ran a little ahead of Jasper and me.
I heard Jasper replay his conversation with Bella in his head. To say that she had surprised him was an understatement.
"She surprised me too, Jasper. Of course I shouldn't have been surprised. She's that type of person. Forgiving."
I didn't expect it. I thought she would hold on to some resentment or bitterness towards me, especially after everything that happened, but she didn't. All I felt from her was forgiveness and affection. Affection! After all the pain what I did caused she felt affection for me! I can't wrap my mind around it. He was mystified.
Jasper had lived in such a turbulent climate before he joined our family that I could see how Bella's reaction would confuse him. In his previous life, an affront was dealt with harshly. Retribution was a daily staple; tolerance was unknown. Of course he had not expected violence from Bella but her unadulterated forgiveness had left him reeling.
"She cares about you, Jasper. You are like a brother to her. She does not hold our natures against us. She knows that the way you acted was instinct, not intent. You made her happy today, when you sat next to her. She wants to be closer to you."
I want that too. She is my sister now, since she is with you. And being around her is easier now; I am not sure why. It's like all the pain caused by my actions cured me of the thirst for her blood or something. I can't describe it right but I don't burn as much when I am around her as I used to. He caught the scent of a group of elk to the south and drifted off towards them, melting into the trees like a ghost.
I followed behind him, just as silent. I contemplated his words as I moved through the forest. It was the same for me. Bella's blood still smelled the same, like lavender and freesias. It was still a potent force to me, more than any other human's. But it did not scorch my throat like it had before. I still burned but the flames were not as hot. Jasper's theory made sense to me. Perhaps losing Bella had cured me from the inferno her scent usually caused in my throat. Just like loving her had cured me from the monster that wanted her death when we first met. It was something to think about.
I caught the scent of the elk in the air and turned my focus to the hunt.
After Jasper and I had both drank our fill we set off in search of Emmett. We found him just finishing off a large grizzly. He dropped the bear and waved at us.
"You guys finished?" Jasper and I both nodded.
"Okay me too."
He walked towards us and I could tell he was purposely keeping his mind blank. He was up to something and he was trying to keep it from me. I tensed, preparing my self.
Up to something isn't he?
I nodded infinitesimally.
How about us first this time? One…two…three!
Emmett never saw it coming. He was concentrating so hard on not giving himself away that he didn't see Jasper and me spring until it was too late. I dove for his legs and Jasper leapt at his chest. We slammed into him and it sounded like an artillery shell went off. Alone neither Jasper nor I were any match against Emmett's massive strength, but together we managed to get him to the ground. Then we were wrestling around, knocking down a mature spruce, and slamming it into another tree that also fell. We grappled for a few minutes before we all collapsed, laughing.
Emmett reached over and tousled my hair, still laughing. "Missed you, bro."
"Only because I'm the only one besides Jasper who will wrestle with you." I said, grinning. I had missed Emmett too.
"Yeah, but you still cheat." He said, grinning back.
"I don't cheat. Even if I couldn't read minds Emmett, you are so obvious I would have been able to see what you were about to do."
"I saw it too Emmett, you are just too easy to read." Jasper put in, laughing at the consternation on Emmett's face.
"Come on, let's get back." I said. I was anxious to see Bella again, even though it had only been a few hours.
You still got it bad, bro, Emmett thought.
Can't stand to be away from her for even a few hours can you? Jasper was laughing to himself.
I glowered at them both and they both burst out laughing.
"Come on, Jasper." Emmett said. "He just doesn't look right unless Bella is attached to his hip." Even I had to laugh at that and we took off towards the cabin.
Dusk was falling when we got back. We walked inside and Kate was the first one to see us.
"What in the world happened to you three? You look like you all fought with a tree and the tree won."
I saw in her mind how we all looked. My shirt had several dirt stains and there were a few leaves stuck in my hair. The knee of my jeans was ripped and there were grass stains all over them. Jasper and Emmett didn't look much better. Emmett actually looked a little worse. The bear had torn a gash in his shirt and he had a twig stuck in his hair.
Carlisle came in when he heard Kate speak and he just looked at us and laughed, shaking his head.
Good to see that some things never change. Wonder what the forest looks like after their wrestling match? He knew us too well.
Rosalie, Alice and Bella came down the stairs then. They stopped when they saw us standing there, disheveled.
"Emmett is that the shirt I gave you?" Rosalie glared. Geez! He is such a kid sometimes! Can't stay clean for ten minutes! She was a little amused by the stick in his hair though.
"Um, I'm not sure, maybe." Emmett stammered. Rosalie turned and walked back up the stairs.
"Aww, Rose! We were just having fun!" Emmett called, following up after her. Jasper and I looked at each other and laughed until we had to hold each other up.
"You look terrible, Jazz! It's not going to be easy to get that shirt clean. Come on, let's get you changed." Alice sounded exasperated but her thoughts were excited. Hmm, maybe I can go buy him a new one. I have to take him with me though this time…
Jasper felt her excitement and groaned. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He trudged behind Alice up the stairs.
Bella walked up to me and grinned. I grinned back.
"You look great to me." Then she reached up and kissed me quickly on the lips. "It makes me happy to see you play with your brothers again. I brought your bag up to the room. Come on." She held out her hand.
I took it and we walked up the stairs. We walked down the hall and she opened one of the doors. It was the room I usually used when I stayed here but I was surprised to see Bella's bag next to the closet. She noticed me looking at it and blushed pink.
"Esme put us in here together. She said that there wasn't another empty room and that we should share." She was looking at her feet when she spoke.
I sent a silent thank you to Esme. I knew that even with all of us here there were at least two other rooms that were empty. Esme knew that I would not want to be parted from Bella, or have to face the embarrassing situation of being caught sneaking into her room.
I took her chin in my fingers and kissed her.
"I don't mind and neither should you. It is exactly the arrangement that I would have asked for if I had thought about it. You know how much I like listening to you talk in your sleep. I've missed that." I winked at her and she rolled her eyes.
"Besides, would you rather get caught sneaking into my room to sleep next to me?" She blushed bright pink.
"Me neither, so this is the best way. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. In here we are the only two people in the world, okay?" I liked the way that sounded. A private sanctuary for Bella and me. I could tell by her expression that she liked it too.
I took a quick shower to wash away the evidence of our wrestling match then changed into fresh jeans and a t-shirt. Bella was waiting for me when I came out of the bathroom. I saw her look me up and down and I raised my eyebrow at her and grinned. As I expected she turned a beguiling shade of pink and then giggled. She held out her hand to me and I took it, intertwining our fingers.
"Come on," she said. "I think everyone else went downstairs."
I tugged her to a stop before she could take more than a step. She looked up at me questioningly.
"One thing, before we go downstairs." I said, pulling her closer to me.
Her eyes widened for a moment then softened as she looked at my mouth. A small smile played around her lips. Unconsciously she licked her bottom lip and that was all the invitation I needed.
I bent my head to hers and captured her lips. She was so warm. The taste of her lips was indescribable. Her arms went around my waist and I felt her fingers grasp the fabric of my t-shirt. My fingers slipped into her hair and cradled her head. I gently tilted her head back, kissing her more deeply. Her breath became more ragged and her fingers were kneading my shirt like a kitten. I let my tongue slid across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, fanning me with her warm sweet breath. One of my hands slipped free of her hair and wrapped around her waist, pressing her closer to me. She moaned softly in her throat. The sound was so arousing it was almost my undoing. Then I felt her shiver in my arms. Though I knew it was from passion not temperature, it was the reminder I needed.
I released her, but slowly. Partly because I didn't want her to feel rejected by breaking contact too quickly but mostly because I never wanted to let her go. I slowed my kisses until they were soft caresses on her lips. When I pulled away I looked at her face. Her eyes were closed and her creamy skin was flushed. She opened her eyes and the chocolate brown of her eyes had darkened to mocha with passion.
Gorgeous. I had to stop myself from pulling her into my arms again.
I rested my forehead against hers and tried to get my breathing under control.
"Hmm," I said when I felt steadier, "remind me to thank Esme for putting us in here together."
She blushed, of course. "Me too." Then she reached up and kissed me softly on the mouth before pulling away slightly, her face just inches from mine.
"Though, that would have been worth getting caught sneaking into your room for." She grinned and then pulled me out of the room.