No one felt like eating that day and therefore no meals were made. Gibbs was afraid of going upstairs because his wife was there and he just couldn't face her right now, so he went without coffee that day too. At least there was bourbon in the basement. When he finally climbed the stairs to the first floor, it was after midnight. Slowly he opened the basement door and found the entire main floor cloaked in darkness. So Jenny must've gone to bed, possibly quite awhile ago. For a moment Gibbs considered sleeping on the couch. But in the seven months that they'd been married, no matter what was going on between them, they still shared the same bed at night. It wasn't really a habit he wanted to break, even if being in the same room as his wife was hard.

He climbed the carpeted stairs, his feet making no noise. When he pushed open the door to their room, he saw moonlight draped over the bed, Jenny's still form curled up on one side. In darkness Gibbs changed to pyjamas, lifted the covers and eased himself into bed. She didn't move. He stretched out on his back and closed his eyes. Weary both physically and emotionally, he hoped sleep would be quick to come. But the minutes counted down and the hours stretched out and still he found no relief in the oblivion of sleep.

Laying on separate sides of the bed, both husband and wife were desperately alone. As far away as they felt tonight, they might as well be in different worlds.

NCIS

When Gibbs opened his eyes the next morning to bright sunshine, he felt betrayed in his misery. If anyone asked, he could truthfully say he didn't think either he or Jenny had slept. A constant changing of positions, the thick tension that filled their room, heavy sighs and the light breathing of those not yet in slumber had been going on all night. Maybe if they'd talked to each other, they might have somehow managed to find rest. But neither knew what to say, so both kept quiet.

The clock said it was 8am and Gibbs dreaded another long day like yesterday, with only silence and cluttered feelings between him and the woman he loved. Ordinarily if he hadn't slept, the last thing he felt like doing was going out and being social. Actually, he rarely felt like going out and being social. But today, and church with Abby, seemed like the perfect way to avoid what he didn't know how to fix. Without a word he got up, showered, dressed and made coffee. He left an extra mug out on the counter in case Jenny wanted a cup later. She hadn't stirred while he'd been in the room. Gibbs had a feeling she was just as much at a loss for what to say as he was.

On the drive to church Gibbs kept fighting with himself. Wondering if he should've invited Jenny along, but this was his thing with Abby and today for once, he wanted to do it alone. Abby was standing at the bottom of the stairs with her black parasol, right where she always waited. Her face lit up when she saw him and Gibbs managed a small smile for her sake. She held out her arms for a hug and Gibbs gladly obliged her, holding her a moment longer than he normally would, needing the comfort he usually gave.

When he pulled back, he knew it had been a mistake. The way Abby looked at him, she now knew something was wrong. He shook his head, discouraging her from asking here, and put a hand on the small of her back to escort her inside the building. Abby sat close during the service, frequently shooting glances at him from the corner of her eye while she tried to pay attention to the pastor. Gibbs was quiet today, and not just quiet, but silent. That was not normal. Especially around her. Abby was one of the few people who wouldn't let Gibbs away with one word sentences and grunts instead of telling her what he was thinking.

After the final song, Abby took his hand and comfortably followed him back to the parking lot. Gibbs squeezed her hand and let her go at her red car.

"I'll see you there Abs."

"Okay," Abby frowned as he got in his car. Something was going on with Gibbs and she was determined to get to the bottom of it by the time they finished lunch.

NCIS

It took Abby all of a minute after they sat down to get right to the point. "Are you going to tell me?"

Gibbs sighed. Should've seen that one coming. "Tell you what?"

Abby crossed her arms. "You know what, Gibbs. The reason you're walking around like a little lost puppy dog whose favourite person in the world is missing and not so much as saying 'boo' to anyone."

"Abs, do we have to do this?" he asked. "Can't we just have lunch like we always do?"

"We could Gibbs," Abby agreed. "But you need to talk about it, and you're obviously not telling anyone else. I'm a good listener, really. You wouldn't always know because I like to talk, and sometimes I talk too much and I don't hear what other people are saying, but for you, I can listen. I promise, really..."

Gibbs laid his hand over hers to quell the flow of words. "I know you're a good listener Abs. I just really don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe you don't want to," Abby repeated, "but I think you need to." She watched him quietly for several moments and then said in a quieter voice. "This is about Jenny, isn't it?"

He looked at the table. Sometimes he wished Abby didn't know him so well. "That obvious?"

She gave him a knowing look. "For the last year I've seen things change with you Gibbs. You used to look like that all the time. But the director made you happy again. Now whenever you look like that, it's either about a case or Jenny. Lately, more about Jenny. What happened?"

Gibbs rubbed a hand over his face. "We just had a bad day yesterday Abs. Really, you don't need to worry."

"But I am worried!" Abby insisted. "You're Gibbs, the closest thing I have to a father, and one of my best friends. I don't like it when you're hurting."

He took her hand and kissed it. "You're very sweet to be concerned Abby."

Abby shifted in her seat. "Gibbs I know we...the team...don't really know how to act around Jenny. And I'm sorry."

Gibbs shook his head. "For what?"

"For us always acting like nothing has changed. It's so easy not to think about what happened to her, we'd rather not for obvious reasons. But that doesn't mean anything is actually better. The director is just...so good at pretending everything is okay. So I'm not sure what to do."

Their waitress appeared with Abby's chocolate milk, which she seemed to be going through a phase with, and Gibbs' coffee. She didn't often ask them about drinks anymore when the odds were extremely high they'd be getting the same thing. But she seemed to sense the seriousness of the mood and left quickly, without asking how everything was.

"She's too good at pretending," Gibbs agreed, taking a sip of coffee.

"Is that what's wrong today?" Abby asked, still hoping she could help.

"Part of it," he admitted, knowing she wasn't going to give up.

"And the other part?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Not for your ears Abby."

It took a minute before the light came on and she understood. "Oh." She was silent a minute. "Well, if I can help, you'll tell me, right?"

He chuckled. "Only because if I don't I'll never hear the end of it."

"Good." Abby gave up on trying to get him to talk for now and launched into a monologue about what Bert had been up to this weekend and how he and her voo-doo dolls really didn't get along that well.

Gibbs sat back and listened to Abby talk, a slight smile on his face. This was one of the things he loved about Abby. No matter what was going on, she had the ability, just for awhile, to make him forget. He didn't have to listen to every word she said, sometimes Abby talked for a sheer love of talking and not to really say anything. But he watched her facial expressions, her constantly moving hands, and caught the occasional sign she threw in to make sure he was paying attention. He really did love this girl. He wondered if Kelly was alive and in her twenties, would they be going out for breakfast one morning each week, eager still to spend time with each other? Gibbs hoped so. Maybe Abby was his chance to still be a dad, once a week, if not more. And he was determined to enjoy every minute of it.

NCIS

When breakfast/lunch was well and finally finished and they'd exhausted all excuses for lingering any longer, Gibbs reached for his wallet and finally stood up. Abby took the cue and got out of their booth as well. They exited the restaurant and stood on the sidewalk in the bright sunshine for a minute. Gibbs looked at her.

"Want to go for a walk, Abby?" he didn't really want to go home yet. No telling what he'd find there.

Abby looked at him carefully and slowly shook her head, something he hadn't expected. "I can't Gibbs. I have a boyfriend waiting to see me. And you need to go home to your wife."

Gibbs looked down himself, wondering how it was that she could see right through him. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Alright Abs. Be good."

She grinned. "Always Papa Bear."

"Now why don't I believe that?" he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

She twirled around and headed for her car. "Because you know me."

Gibbs watched her go and slowly got into his own car. For better or for worse, he and Jenny were in this together. He just hadn't known before how bad 'for worse' could feel. When he got home, the house felt empty. Frowning, he walked upstairs to see if Jenny was still sleeping. She wasn't. The bed was made and the bathroom smelled like her shampoo, so he knew she'd gotten ready. But she wasn't in the kitchen, or the basement either. The way things felt between them aside, Gibbs wanted to know she was alright.

"Jenny?" he called, the word echoing in the dark house.

About to reach for his cell phone when there was no answer, he noticed a scrap of paper on the table in the hall. When he picked it up, he recognized Jenny's handwriting. She obviously had thought carefully about what she wanted to say, because several words were scratched out and re-written.

Jethro, the note read, I had my security detail pick me up. Special Agents Dryden and Kirk on this weekend. She knew he would want to know who was with her. Gone to the office, trying to catch up on paperwork. He felt a pause in her words, even if it wasn't written. See you tonight, my place, if you don't mind. I'll be late, don't wait up. Jen.

Gibbs wasn't sure whether to feel relief for the pass she'd given him or frustration because now they were both running away. Past experience told him that wasn't the way to fix something this important to him. But he couldn't very well go chasing her to work, especially if she'd left because she didn't want to be around him today. He crumpled the paper into a little ball and tossed it. Time to get back to the basement.

He was on his way there when suddenly the thought hit him. No. He couldn't let this go any further. He couldn't keep hiding and hoping things would get better. Working on the boat was not enough to deal with everything going on inside him. With a glance at the clock, Gibbs grabbed his cell phone and dialed a number he hadn't called in years.

A woman's voice answered. "Hello?"

Gibbs smiled. "Hello Meredith. How are you?"

He could hear her smile. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs. What a pleasure! You know it's been years, don't you?"

"I know," he sighed, "I'm not really that great with keeping in touch."

"You're not the only one to blame," she assured him. "Bill told me that the two of you saw each other on Friday. I'm beginning to feel left out. When are you coming over for dinner? You can bring that new wife of yours, I'm dying to meet her."

Gibbs chuckled, feeling a tightness in his chest. "Not just yet Meredith, but hopefully someday soon. Is Bill around?"

She laughed. "Well I knew you didn't call just to talk to me. Let me go find my husband."

"Jethro," Bill greeted him a minute later, "I'm glad you called. I was thinking about you today. Meredith and I have been talking about your situation. I hope it's alright that I told her," he suddenly sounded unsure, "but you know I can't keep anything from her."

"Is that the way you stay married thirty years Gunny?" Gibbs asked. "No secrets?"

"That's definitely a good place to start. Now, what can do for you?"

Gibbs sighed. "It's been a really bad weekend Bill."

"I've got time Jethro."

Gibbs was silent a moment. "Bill?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I called too."