Jenny took off her glasses and set them on the desk, rubbing her dry eyes. It was dark outside now and across the river lights reflected off the water. Turning her wrist, she squinted at the small hands on her watch. Maybe it was almost time to go home.
She stood and stretched. Hours sitting at that desk was never good for her back. If she and Jethro were speaking, Jenny would be hoping for a back massage when she got home. As it was, she couldn't even guess when he would dare to touch her again. Wrapping her arms around herself, Jenny felt a chill seep into the room. Or maybe it came from inside her. She missed Jethro. She hated that they were uncomfortable around each other. It wasn't like them! There had to be some way to fix what she had done.
Earlier that afternoon, Jenny had called her personal doctor, Sarah Mariott. The message she'd left on the doctor's voicemail requested an appointment on Monday, if she could squeeze her in. Normally it was wise to book a week or at least a few days before, but Jenny knew the hospital had sent over the incident report after they'd done their examination the day she was rescued. She figured Sarah would probably want to see her because of that anyways.
Jenny remembered back to Saturday morning. Although she'd been afraid for making love with her husband to hurt, she'd still been surprised that it had. Hopefully Sarah could tell her why and how long until it wouldn't. Because intimacy wasn't something she and Jethro could just give up forever. Eventually they would want it back. But she needed to be able to enjoy it, not fear it.
After pacing back and forth across her office, Jenny finally stopped and picked up the phone, dialing the number that automatically connected her to her security detail.
"Yes Director?" Special Agent Dryden's voice asked.
"I think it's time to go home Rich."
"Of course Director. I'll be right up."
"Thank you," Jenny said, replacing the phone in the cradle.
Leaving everything out on her desk so she could go back to it in the morning, Jenny took her coat off the rack and slipped it on. Tucking her cellphone in her pocket, she locked the door behind her. Agent Dryden entered the inner office moments later.
"All set Director?" he asked.
"Yes Rich," Jenny replied.
He escorted her to the elevator and they stood silently for the ride. When she was buckled in, Agent Kirk, who was driving, turned.
"To your house Director? Or your husbands'?"
Jenny's eyes widened and she noticed Agent Dryden's pointed glance at her wedding ring. So, they'd noticed as well. She had the idea that they'd suspected all along, but they'd never referred to her husband as anything but 'Special Agent Gibbs' until now.
She smiled. "My house will be fine, thank you gentlemen."
The ride home was peaceful and Jenny stared out the window, looking at the lights and watching DC at night. When they got to her street, Jenny saw that her house was dark and for a moment she felt a stab of disappointment. Perhaps Gibbs had chosen to stay at his place instead. Then she saw his car in the driveway. Well, at least they'd be in the same house, whatever good that was doing them.
Agent Dryden insisted on walking Jenny to the door.
"I'll let Special Agents Gregory and Samuels know their shift starts now. We called them earlier to say you were with us," Richard explained when she noticed the lack of a dark SUV across the street. "Dane and I will stay until they get here."
"Thank you Rich," she smiled.
"Good night Director," he nodded and started back to the car.
Jenny let herself into the cold house and set the alarm. Gibbs had left a lamp on, she noticed. Nice of him, when he knew she wasn't fond of the dark. Looking around, her shoulders sagged and she wondered if tonight would feel as lonely as last night. As Jenny hung up her coat, a flash of white on the hall table caught her eye. She lifted the paper and saw words written in Jethro's hand. Just three little words. I love you. Jethro.
She didn't move, she just stood there and absorbed the words, feeling relieved. They still weren't talking but, at least this was a start. Jenny smiled for the first time since Saturday morning and went upstairs to join her husband in sleep.
NCIS
From the top of the stairs he'd watched her silently, waiting to see what she thought of his offering. He kept to the shadow of the upstairs hall, not wanting her to notice him. His mind drifted back to the advice Bill had given him over the two hours they'd spent on the phone.
"Wow," Bill had said when Gibbs finished relating their last day and a half. "That's rough Gunny. It's got to be hard on both of you to want something so much and still have to wait."
"I wish we had," Gibbs admitted.
"And you say she went to bed without you last night?"
"Yeah,"Gibbs confirmed. "First time I can remember since we got married, not counting when I've been out late working on a case."
"Awkwardness or not Jethro, that's something you need to stop now," Bill told him seriously. "It's so easy for a husband and wife to drift apart and become two separate people instead of the one you were meant to be."
"But how?" Gibbs asked, at a loss for what to do.
"Merry and I noticed a distance coming between us several years ago. So we sat down to try and figure it out. One of the first things that came to mind was how we'd been on different schedules and were going to bed at different times." He paused. "Something about the act of getting ready and going to bed together works a lot on the closeness of a marriage. Other things are eating meals together and for you and Jenny, driving to work together since you work at the same place, instead of letting her security detail do that."
"But what if she doesn't want that closeness?" Gibbs asked, fearing her rejection.
"Jethro, some things you may have to do for the good of your wife, the good of your marriage, whether she particularly wants them in the moment or not."
Gibbs sighed. "What else?"
"No matter how rough things are, you have to let her know you love her. Send her flowers, leave a voicemail message, write her a note - but do something! It's so important Jethro. Especially since Jenny is so confused about everything right now. She knows that you love her but she still may be doubting it in light of everything that's happened."
"I'll try Bill," Gibbs promised.
After that he'd gone for a long walk by himself, to think. Finally concluding that Bill was right, he was grateful to his friend for taking the time to help him.
Gibbs pulled himself out of the memory, watching Jenny reach for his note and holding his breath, hoping she wouldn't do the same thing to his as he'd done to hers. He saw how still she was, saw how her eyes went back over the words again and again. And then she smiled and Gibbs closed his eyes in relief. He didn't know what else to do just yet, but apparently for tonight, 'I love you', was enough. He slipped back into bed, faking sleep when she came in. Tomorrow, anything could happen. He just hoped and prayed it would be something good.
NCIS
0700 on Monday morning and Gibbs and Jenny were on separate floors of the house as he had breakfast and she got ready. The phone rang and Jenny automatically called down the stairs, forgetting for a moment that they weren't actually talking.
"Jethro, could you get that please? I'm not quite done my hair."
Gibbs didn't answer the phone at Jenny's house often, especially when they were trying to keep their marriage a secret. But it wasn't that big a deal any more, so he shrugged and reached for the ringing thing.
"Shepard residence," he said gruffly.
"Umm, Jenny Shepard please," the voice on the other end sounded confused.
"She's busy. This is her husband. Can I take a message?"
"Her...husband?" the voice hesitated. "Oh, alright. This is her doctor, Sarah Mariott. Jenny left me a message yesterday about getting an appointment today. I'm pretty booked this afternoon but I could fit her in this morning at 7:30 if she can get here by then."
Gibbs knit his brows as he scribbled the information. "Doctor's appointment? Okay, I'll tell her. Thank you."
He hung up before the doctor said goodbye and took the stairs two at a time to ask Jenny what was going on. She turned around when he walked into the bathroom.
"Who was it?"
"Your doctor. What is this about an appointment Jen?"
Jenny leaned close to the mirror to apply her mascara. "It's nothing Jethro. Kristyn wanted me to book an appointment and I figured it wasn't such a bad idea. What time did she say?"
"0730."
"Oh!" Jenny looked surprised. "Darn. I'd better go. I'll call Cynthia on the way and let her know I'll be late."
Gibb followed her downstairs, not sure what he thought. If it was a doctor's appointment, he'd almost rather go with her, but knew Jenny wouldn't want him there. Not yet. Before it wouldn't have mattered.
When she was putting her coat on, Jenny suddenly remembered something. "Oh, Jethro...I have another session with Dr. Renway today. She'd like you to come again."
Gibbs looked at her, wanting to hear what she thought. Do you want me there? But at least she was offering and they'd be in the same room. Maybe Kristyn could tell them how to deal with what had happened Saturday. "I'll see what I can do," he muttered.
"Okay." She stopped at the door. Now was when she'd normally kiss him goodbye. But not today. Gibbs hadn't been within three feet of her all morning, as if afraid he'd want to touch her if she was close. "Bye," she said softly as she left. Please, she begged, let him come. Let today fix something. I don't want to be without him.
Gibbs watched her go, determined that he'd be at that appointment no matter what he had to do to get there.
NCIS
When McGee arrived at work on Monday morning, he noticed something strange about his desk. First of all, black streamers hung in loops around the edge. His computer was already on and in place of his usual screen saver picture of him and his dog or him and Sarah, there was a screenshot of the matchmaker program. Using his and Abby's NCIS ID pictures, someone had created their "love child". A pretty girl of about twelve stared back at him, with his brown hair and Abby's green eyes. When he looked for his co-workers, certain this was their doing, he found them absorbed in their morning routines and paying no attention to him. Frowning, McGee looked down to find a small, black ball attached to a key chain.
"What's this?" he asked.
Finally Tony looked up, a smirk on his lips. He stood up and started towards McGee, pulling something out of his desk drawer. "Why, that's your ball and chain, McWhipped." He flicked an imaginary whip.
McGee sighed. Abby mentioned yesterday that she'd told Tony about them and of course, he assumed Tony would tell Ziva. It was going to be a long week.
"Yes McGee," Ziva added, standing and joining Tony, "congratulations. I heard you two are 'going down' now."
"Going out," Tim corrected automatically.
"No, no I think she had it right the first time Probie. You may just be going down." He ruffled the streamers. "Black, for the colour our mistress of the dark will bring into your life. And this," Tony set a DVD entitled The Goth and The Geek beside McGee's keyboard, "is a preview of what it will look like."
"Thank you so much Tony," McGee said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
Tony put a hand on McGee's shoulder and the other on his own heart. "I'm here for you Tim."
McGee shrugged his hand off and turned away, but Tony leaned close and whispered in his ear. "If you do anything to hurt Abby, an-y-thing," he repeated slowly, "I will let Ziva take you apart piece by piece."
McGee gulped and faced their Mossad Liaison, who was eyeing him. She was only carrying a pen but nevertheless, looked dangerous enough.
"I-I would never do anything to hurt Abby," McGee protested, wishing for an escape.
"See that you don't," Tony said in a menacing voice borrowed, no doubt, from some old TV movie. He and Ziva returned to their respective desks, quite pleased with their handiwork.
"I don't care what you say," Tim murmured quietly, "I already got the 'talk' from Gibbs and he scares me more than both of you put together. Ziva being Mossad capable of torturing me to death notwithstanding."
He turned back to his desk and quick began to undecorate it from the streamers, lest Gibbs see. Just as he stuffed the whole mess of it in his trash can, Gibbs spilled out of the elevator with his first, or maybe second, coffee of the morning.
In one quick glance he took in Tony and McGee, the collection of things on his desk, and the black stuff in the trash.
"Alright you two, that's enough," he said calmly, fixing both Tony and Ziva with a stare. "You've clearly had your fun, now lay off. Remember," he warned, "someday it will be your turn."
Ziva and Tony jumped and McGee allowed himself just a small victory smirk. The two partners exchanged nervous glances but decided it might be more dangerous to actually say something, and silently went back to their reports.
Smart, Gibbs thought, looking up at Jenny's door like a reflex he couldn't help. He wondered what was going on at Jenny's doctor's appointment and if she would even tell him. He missed her, even the way she'd been the last couple weeks, hesitant and inconsistent. At least they'd been talking...for the most part, and close...on good days. He thought back to his hope about today. Still, anything could happen.