Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.
OK, I'm back!!! Thank you for your patience, sorry it took so long! Long ass author note to follow!
Mynxi is my beta. I am grateful to her for tackling the mess that is this chapter.
Chapter Six
BPOV
I was dreaming about swinging on a swing set. Higher and higher I swung, until my feet touched the blue sky. It was the greatest feeling- leaning backwards on the way up, then feeling the bottom of my stomach dropping out as I swung back down. I closed my eyes and smiled into the sunshine.
"Bella," someone said quietly. I frowned, unwilling to let go of the feeling from my dream. "Bella, I'm sorry, but you need to wake up." The smooth voice was firmer this time.
I felt cool fingers moving gently between my own and began to drag myself into an alert state. Opening one eye, I peeked above the down comforter wrapped snugly around me. Jasper was reclined on the bed next to me, his hand lying between our bodies. I frowned slightly as I became aware that my entire body was practically wrapped around his right arm, both of my hands squeezing his.
I watched the corners of his eyes wrinkle slightly as he smiled at my expression. "Good morning, Sleepyhead," he teased gently. "I was beginning to think you were going to dream the day away. I started 'poking' you an hour ago, but you were totally out," he chuckled as he pretended to pinch my nose.
"Sorry, Jasper," I said sheepishly, releasing his hand and slowly sitting up. "What time is it, anyway?" I mumbled and stretched. "It's only seven o'clock, Bella," he answered as he stood up and turned to look at me again. "I'm sorry I had to wake you so early, but the sun is going to come out this afternoon. I need to get moving so I can go hunt before I become 'conspicuous'," he said, smiling and making air quotes with his fingers.
"No problem. Just let me get dressed and I'll be out of your way," I said as I tried to figure out where my clothes were. I was heartily regretting choosing to stay here rather than going home last night. I'd had a great night's sleep, but now I was feeling anxious and awkward.
Jasper shook his head at me. "Slow down, slow down," he chided. "We have a little time before we have to rush out the door. I thought you might like to shower while I go round you up a cup of coffee and something to eat," he suggested hesitantly.
I realized that he was probably feeling uncomfortable this morning too. We were both accustomed to being loners, and last night's revelations hung heavily between us.
Desperate to mask my nervousness, I forced my mouth into a small smile. "A shower sounds great, thanks," I said lightly. "I'll be ready by the time you're back and I can eat in the car," I suggested, hoping to make a quick escape from this uncomfortable situation. "You know, since you have the interior protection plan and all."
He grinned widely at my car joke. "You're welcome to do your worst to the poor car, Bella, but we have plenty of time for you to eat here if you'd rather," he said, turning away and bending over to pick up a pair of shoes from his closet. Oh my God, what an ass he has! I gasped as the thought raced through my brain, and I coughed quickly to cover the sound. My face burned, and I knew he could hear my heart pounding. I prayed he would just assume I was embarrassed about holding his hand all night.
"You OK, Bella?" He turned around to look as I was sputtering. "Oh yeah, just choking on air," I managed to mumble, as I forced the image of Jasper's perfect denim clad butt out of my brain.
"That was quite a cough," he continued as he stood up to leave the room. "Maybe you should stop smoking," he suggested, raising an eyebrow. Thank God, he just thinks I'm my old "too clumsy to breathe" self, I mentally cheered. "Thanks for the health tip, Mr. Surgeon General," I snarked back at him, grateful for the chance to put my mental armor on.
"Now why don't you go do something useful and go get me my breakfast so I can get out of this bed without flashing you," I snapped. "I'll have a large coffee, lots of milk, no sugar, and an everything bagel with cream cheese," I finished in a bitchy tone.
He just smiled calmly back at me. "I'll get right on it, Miss Bella," he drawled out. I began to feel bad for being short with him, but his expression was relaxed as he backed out the door. "I wouldn't want to compromise your modesty," he teased as he turned to leave. "Thanks, Jasper," I said softly to his receding back, knowing he would hear me.
"It's no problem, Sweetheart," he answered without looking at me. "You'll feel better once you have your coffee, I'm sure," he called from the front door. Wiseass, I mentally answered back as I put my head in my hands.
What a disaster. Instead of keeping my distance, I ended up hearing his confession, staying the night with him, drooling all over his hand, and ogling his ass! Get a grip, Bella. Time to shower, I told myself. I needed to move forward and get this morning over with so Jasper could get on his way and I could try to rediscover my sense of self preservation.
I made my way into the bathroom and noticed my clothes were folded neatly on the counter. I checked out the impressive multi-head shower stall with a sigh. Too bad I didn't have time to do it justice today. I showered quickly, borrowing the musky body wash that was in there. The scent of Jasper's soap filled the bathroom and I felt more relaxed. I kept my hair out of the spray for the most part, not wanting to worry about combing and drying it. I had no idea if Jasper owned a hair dryer, and I didn't want to snoop in his bathroom looking for one.
I dressed in my clothes from the day before and finger combed my messy hair. I hastily made the bed, trying to avoid the thought of me clinging desperately to Jasper's hand while I slept. Remembering that I had a hair tie in my jacket pocket, I made my way out to the living area, trying to remember where Jasper had put my coat last night. I was unwilling to open closet doors to search while he wasn't home, so I began checking kitchen drawers for something that might be useful in taming my hair.
Jasper must have bought the place furnished, because there were basic utensils in the drawers. I debated the usefulness of a butter knife as a hair anchor when I stumbled upon a pair of chopsticks. I quickly pulled my hair up into a messy bun as I heard the door open. I watched as Jasper walked in, laying a coffee cup and a paper bag on the bar.
His long blond hair was in his face again and I wondered if it bothered him or if he was used to it by now. My fingers itched to brush it aside for him, and I mentally slapped myself for ogling him again. I didn't understand my sudden fascination with him. Like all vampires, he was gorgeous, but I was around hot guys all the time at work and never had trouble focusing like this.
It must be because we're spending all this time together having "heart to heart" conversations that was causing me to become aware of him physically. I just wasn't used to spending this much time with anyone, much less someone who looked like Jasper. Whatever the cause, I had to put a lid on this immediately. It wasn't healthy for me to obsess over someone who was probably already on his way out of my life, and it would be mortifying if he were to pick up on my emotions somehow.
I pulled myself into my work persona and hoped I was projecting more confidence than I felt. "I helped myself to your chopsticks, I figured you wouldn't miss them," I quipped, pointing to my hair. He chuckled and shrugged. "You can help yourself to anything you find in the kitchen, Bella. It all came with the place, so I guess the previous owners must have been fans of Asian cuisine," he teased, offering me the coffee from the bar.
I brought the cup to my nose and savored the aroma of the coffee before I took a sip. Good coffee deserved to be relished, and I refused to rush this cup despite my anxiety to leave. Sitting down on a bar stool to open the bag he brought back, I found my bagel as ordered, even toasted to perfection. I raised it toward Jasper in a silent salute of thanks before digging in.
"So what are your plans for the day today?" he asked as I ate. I finished chewing and took a long sip of coffee before answering. The reality was that I hated my days off. There were too many unoccupied hours, which meant too much time to remember and too much time to worry about the future. "Not much. I have a few errands to run this afternoon, but the rest of the day is a blank slate," I replied evenly. "Maybe I'll stay conscious through the rest of yesterday's paper," I said more perkily as my coffee began to kick in.
"Where will you be off to for your 'snack'?" I asked in a light tone. His eyes lit briefly with excitement. "I'm going to try someplace new today. I've been sticking to Long Island, but I'm getting sick of deer, and I might actually be making a dent in their population," he admitted sheepishly. "I'm going to try heading upstate a bit to see if there's any more interesting wildlife there."
"That's good, Jasper. A varied diet is important, you know," I said solemnly. He laughed out loud at my lame joke and I couldn't keep myself from smiling back at him. His happiness was becoming infectious, despite my attempts to keep my distance. I turned my attention back to my bagel and finished my last few bites.
Draining the last sip of my coffee, I sighed, "all done," in satisfaction. I gathered my trash to throw away. "Let's get this show on the road, Whitlock," I teased as I turning away from the trash can behind the bar. "Where'd you hide my coat last night, anyway?"
I rolled my eyes as I noticed he was swinging my jacket from one of his fingers. I stalked toward him and grabbed my jacket, continuing past him, not saying a word. I made my way out the front door. I felt the air move around me as I walked and gasped as he appeared in front of me wearing a silly smirk on his face. It was the first time since we'd bumped into each other that he had displayed his true abilities, and the reminder of vampire speed left me breathless with surprise.
As I tried to regulate my breathing, I began to notice how close he was standing, which was less than helpful to my air intake. I noticed the way his t-shirt clung to his chest where his jacket was open and I caught a faint whiff of his soap, realizing that I smelled the same way. I forced a deep breath into my lungs and closed my eyes, struggling to regain control of my brain. I could not allow myself to think about Jasper this way.
A look of concern crossed his face as he noticed my reaction. "Shit, Bella, I didn't think. I'm sorry I scared you," he said as he absently reached up to rub the back of his neck. I grabbed at his misconception, thankful for an easy excuse for my pathetic human reaction to him. "No problem, Jasper. I wasn't really scared, just startled a little."
His face relaxed and he turned to lock the door. "Good, but I'll try to be more careful," he promised as he led the way down the hallway to the elevator. We silently made our way to the garage, but thankfully it didn't feel awkward. He opened the car door for me, grinning when I rolled my eyes at him. In a flash he was seated behind the wheel.
There was morning traffic in Midtown, but things cleared out as Jasper headed toward my neighborhood. I realized I was getting accustomed to the sensation of riding in a car again, no longer clutching the door handle every time Jasper accelerated or braked.
We were both quiet as he drove, but he kept sneaking quick glances at me. It seemed as if he was stopping himself from saying something. Reminding myself of my plan to keep things superficial, I forced myself to ignore him. Our comfortable silence was beginning to grow tense and I was glad we were almost to my building.
As we turned onto my street he gave a small sigh and I started to lose my resolve to pretend there was nothing going on. He obviously wanted to say something and it felt wrong to disregard him, especially after he had shared so much with me last night. I mentally groaned and began to talk before I could change my mind.
"Spill it, Jasper," I said without heat. He turned to look at me in surprise. "You clearly have something to say, so let's hear it," I continued, looking down at my lap.
He pulled the car to a stop in front of my building, but left the engine running. I noticed his right hand moving slowly toward my left and I looked up at him. "Can I, Bella?" he asked, nodding his head toward my hand. "I have something I want to say to you, but sometimes I worry you're going to run away if I push too much," he admitted. "I think our touch thing we have going on will help. We'll feel calmer, so I don't get pushy and you don't shut down."
I didn't answer him, but reached my hand out toward his. Our fingers touched and the peace began to ebb up around us. My fingers closed tightly around his reflexively, and I couldn't stop a sigh at the pleasant sensation of his cool skin against mine in the middle of that serenity. Turning my head to look up at him, I was struck at how relaxed he looked now. His eyes were still amber, but they seemed lighter, as if a shadow had been lifted from them.
"Okay, now spill it, Jasper," I repeated gently with a small smile. He nodded at me and squeezed my hand. "I want to say so much, Bella," he began, "but I'll start by saying 'Thank you' for last night. I haven't spoken about my past in a long time because talking about it brings the guilt back, but you made it better. I know I'm still responsible for my actions, but I don't feel eaten alive by the shame of it. I really needed that," he finished with a tight smile.
My breath caught at his words. This exquisite, invincible creature sitting next to me had needed something and I had given it without even trying. I felt a surge of guilt at the way I was pushing him away, for my own sake, when maybe he needed a friend as badly as I did.
I shook my head slightly at him. "You can thank me if you want to, but I didn't tell you anything other than the truth. Now, I figure you're not afraid I'll run away from a 'Thank you', so when do we get to the part where you get pushy?" I asked, looking down at our hands. Tracing over his fingers with my free hand, I waited for him to speak, enjoying the smoothness of his cool hand.
I looked up and saw that he was watching our hands, so I stopped my movements. I opened my mouth to apologize, but he spoke first. "No, don't stop," he said quickly. "I just get distracted by how good your warm hands feel." Nodding, I resumed my random movements over our entwined fingers.
"So here goes the pushy part, Bella," he began again. "I just ask that you give me chance to finish talking before you head for the hills," he teased. I didn't laugh at his attempt at humor, instead nodding at him to carry on. "Bella, I'm hoping you'll let me come by again tonight after the sun's out of the way. I'm going to feel anxious about you all afternoon, and to be honest, if you won't let me come in, I'll be watching your building from outside. I could do it without telling you, but I don't want be less than honest with you." He spoke rapidly, as if he feared I would literally run from him.
"I don't mind keeping watch outside at all, Bella," he continued, "but the truth is, I really enjoy your company, and I was hoping we could hang out again." I sighed as I felt torn between preserving my hard won self sufficiency and seizing the opportunity to enjoy being in the company of another person. I changed my answer a hundred times in the seconds before I replied.
"Pick me up here when you can, Jasper," I mumbled, looking away from him and removing my hand gently from his. The peace flowed away as our contact was broken, and my resolve to spend more time with Jasper wavered. I forced myself to tamp down my selfish desire to avoid him and looked back at him.
His amber eyes almost gleamed as I took in his relieved smile. It felt good to know I was making him happy, although I was quite surprised that he could really enjoy spending time with me that much. He had always seemed like such a solitary person in Forks, but the more time we spent together, the more I wondered how much of that solitude had been voluntary.
I gave myself a mental shake and moved to open the car door. "Okay, Sparkle Boy," I teased. "Get your ass in gear before the sun comes out and you cause some sort of incident." Before I could open the door, it pulled away from my hand, and I gasped as I took in his form leaning over to help me out.
"I hope you checked to make sure no one's watching," I managed to say as he helped me to stand. He rolled his eyes at me. "Just following your directions, Bella. You said to get my ass in gear," he deadpanned as we walked to the building.
"You really don't have to walk me up, Jasper. Your car will probably get stolen and you'll be stuck inside on a sunny day with no snack," I warned as we headed up the stairs. He shook his head sadly at me. "Bella, I'll be worried about you the entire time I'm gone. The least I can do is make sure you get inside the apartment without incident," he sighed as we approached my door.
I was touched by his worry about me, but my independent side prickled at his words. "Don't be such a pussy," I snapped. "This is a low risk day for me. The sun's coming out, so even if Victoria's in the neighborhood she'll be stuck inside." I wrenched the key around in the lock. "My chances at surviving the afternoon are good, even without your protection," I sneered.
He made no reply, and in the silence I felt ashamed of my harsh words. I looked down at the floor and forced myself to speak, although my true desire was to walk through the door and away from the complications that Jasper caused. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "You didn't deserve that. This is hard for me." I shrugged my shoulders and turned to look at him.
He reached out and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It's okay, Bella," he said quietly. "I don't scare away easily." He pushed the door open for me. "You'll have to do worse than call me names to get me out of here," he finished wryly.
"I'll be back for you after the sun is low enough for me to avoid any attention," he said, turning to make his way toward the stairs. "I'll see you then," I answered. "Enjoy your new hunting grounds," I murmured as I closed the door and leaned against it, suddenly exhausted.
"Walk of shame this morning, Bella?" I snapped to attention, startled by the sound of Andy's voice. He was standing at the kitchen counter, stuffing what appeared to be a large wad of cash into an envelope. He noticed me looking at the money and quickly finished. "This one is best filed under 'Don't ask, Don't tell' Bella," he said in a final tone.
I was surprised at his attitude this morning. We often went long periods without speaking much, but we had always been civil, and he was usually quite kind to me. "It's not a walk of shame when the guy walks you to the door, Andy. Anyway, it's not like that. I just fell asleep during a movie and decided I'd rather sleep there than have him drive me back here. I left you a note, Dad, so quit acting like I'm a kid who missed curfew," I demanded as I walked further into the apartment toward him.
I took in his tiny pupils and the way he seemed to be jumping out of his skin and sighed. It was way too early for him to be messed up already. "You wanna tell me what's going on?" I asked him as I approached the kitchen.
He stared at me for a moment before turning abruptly away and grabbing his jacket. "Back off, Bella. This is a hard time for me," he muttered,stalking toward the door. He left without another word to me, closing the door and locking it behind him.
Great, another complication, I thought to myself as I headed to my bedroom. I stripped out of yesterday's clothes and pulled on some comfy sweats. Despite my good night's sleep last night and my worry over Andy's strange behavior, I was exhausted and a nap was calling my name. I wrapped myself up in my many blankets and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
JPOV
Climbing into the car, I turned the ignition with a small smile on my face. I was starting to get used to smiling more often since I had found Bella on Friday. I hadn't realized how isolated I had been feeling, but being around Bella reminded me how nice it was to interact with another person on a regular basis. Even though her hot and cold reactions to me were confusing, I enjoyed the element of surprise she brought to my days.
I maneuvered the car toward the George Washington Bridge, zipping in and out around slower vehicles. I was looking forward to hunting some carnivores, and I didn't want to wait in traffic. I replayed the events of last night and this morning as I crossed the bridge and headed north toward the Catskills.
Keeping up with Bella's emotions was proving difficult without my enhanced abilities, but I was starting to learn to read her facial expressions and body language. I was still surprised at the way she had held my hand as we walked to dinner. She had seemed so at ease last night that her moodiness today had startled me. She had been so calm and accepting of my past, but this morning she had clearly been uncomfortable.
I was relieved that she had agreed to let me come back tonight. I had been worried that she would be pissed when I told her I wanted to watch out for her, but it had gone better than I had expected. I was sure that the calm from our touch had influenced her decision. I still had no explanation for that phenomenon, but I was grateful for it, especially since she could block me so well from reading her emotions.
Her reaction to my comment about walking her to the door had been so volatile that I had momentarily felt her anger lash out at me before she controlled herself. She seemed to be blocking my ability by pushing her emotions down. I would pick up a quick burst of her feelings when she was upset, but it always disappeared when she pulled herself together.
Her unsolicited apology had actually surprised me more than her outburst. I could only imagine what it had cost her pride to back away from the tough image she was trying to present to herself and the world. Her experiences had made her harder, but I was learning she was the same gentle person deep inside.
The overcast skies were starting to lighten as I located the entrance to the state park I was looking for. Parking the car, I headed onto the trail to preserve appearances. After a few paces I headed off the trail, hoping for the scent of a mountain lion. I didn't have much time today, thanks to the sunny forecast, but I was in luck.
Picking up the scent, I followed it deeper into the forest, finding my target in a small clearing. He was a beautiful male cat, not yet fully mature. I approached him silently since I didn't have the time for a good fight. He sensed me at the last second and tried to spring away, but I quickly grabbed him and took him down. I fed rapidly and manipulated the remains to make the animal's death look natural. Scavengers would quickly take care of most of the evidence, but it didn't hurt to be thorough.
I headed back to the car at vampire speed, noticing the clouds were beginning to thin. Making my way quickly back toward Manhattan, I enjoyed the sensation of driving a Porsche the way it was meant to be driven. I walked into my building just as the faintest hint of sunlight began to filter through the tall buildings around me.
I shook my head at the close call. I was going to have to pay closer attention to the weather now that Bella was around. I hated the fact that the sunlight would sometimes prevent me from protecting her, but she was correct that at least Victoria would be hampered in the same way.
I logged on to check my e-mail and was glad to find a report from Jenks waiting. I knew he would call me later to check for new instructions, but in the meantime I was eager to learn what he had discovered. I scanned Jenks' report quickly, relieved at what I read.
The investigations into the deaths of Bella's family and her disappearance were all dead ends. The police had theorized that someone Charlie had arrested in the past might have been out for revenge, but it was considered unlikely. One investigator had made a note to speak with Bella's boyfriend since his family had left so near the time of the murder. However, after interviewing Bella's classmates, it was deemed not worth investigating further. By all accounts, Edward and Bella had been happy, and the Cullens were too well respected to accuse lightly.
In the end, investigators had concluded that Bella had been kidnapped and that she had probably been murdered soon after. Renee and Phil's car accident had been ruled a terrible coincidence. No further actions were planned on any of the cases.
I was proud of Bella for hiding so well. She had so few resources at her disposal, but she had pulled off a perfect disappearance. Closing the document, I smiled as my cell phone vibrated. I glanced at the screen and answered.
"Impeccable timing, Jenks. I just finished reading the report you sent me," I said in greeting. "I try my best, Mr. Whitlock," he replied smoothly.
"Do you have any further instructions on the matter?" he asked hopefully. I smiled as I imagined the dollar signs he was likely seeing in his head.
"As a matter of fact, Jenks, I do. I need you to start building an identity for Isabel Sanders," I told him, spelling it out. "She'll need an ID of course, but also a social security number. She's also going to need a high school diploma and some tax records, but you can wait on that for now."
I realized it would be hard enough to get Bella to accept my help with an ID, much less school records, but I planned to be prepared. Jenks repeated my instructions back to me and told me he'd get started right away. I ended the call and moved to lay the phone down when it vibrated again.
I sighed when I saw the number. I didn't answer, letting it go to voicemail. Within seconds there was a beep indicating a new text message. I groaned and opened the text. Ansr the fon Whitlock. The phone began to vibrate with a new call before I even finished reading. Angrily I pushed send and prepared myself to take the call.
"Where's the fire, Peter?" I snapped into the phone. "Whoa, soldier," he drawled back at me. "No fire, I'm just gettin' weird vibes about you, and figured I'd check in on ya."
I rolled my eyes at the thick accent. Peter could speak as neutrally as I did, but he always picked up an accent again when he and Charlotte headed south.
"I'm fine, Peter. Consider me checked on and let me get on with my day," I growled. "So you're not gonna tell me who the blast from the past is," he whined back. I ran my hand through my hair. Damn Peter and his sixth sense and nose for gossip.
"No Pete, not yet," I sighed. "No joking, this is serious. I'll tell you more once things are a little more settled, but I don't want you butting in yet," I said loudly, hoping somehow he would pick up on the sincerity behind my demand.
"Okay, Major," he drawled back. "I'll back off for now, but I'm gonna expect details the next time we chat," he warned. "Char and I are headed over to Russia for a little vacay, but we were hopin' to catch up with ya when we get back in a month or so," he finished.
"Yeah, Peter, that sounds good. By then I should be able to explain it to you." I hoped my answer was the truth. "Okay, I'll be in touch. Stay out of trouble, I think you'll be seein' more faces from the past," he said cryptically before hanging up on me.
I rubbed my face, glad that Peter hadn't pushed too much. I definitely wanted a chance to get on a better footing with Bella before Peter started nosing around her. I smiled at the thought of Bella meeting Peter. It would be interesting if it ever happened. I wasn't sure how she would feel about it, and there was no way I would let him intrude on her without her permission.
The glint of sunlight off my marble arm caught my eye. Stupid sparkling skin. For the millionth time I wondered what evolutionary advantage glittering was supposed to be. I decided to take a shower to get rid of the smell of cat that lingered from my hunt.
As I stepped into the shower I was hit with the scent of Bella and my soap. The musky scent brought the image of her washing into my mind unbidden. I quickly forced my thoughts elsewhere. The last thing I needed was to start fantasizing about Bella. I was sure that if she thought I was hitting on her she would head for the hills without looking back.
After I showered I threw on jeans and a long sleeved grey T-shirt. I headed back into the living room and grabbed a random book to kill the time until I could pick Bella up. I hadn't been lying when I told her I enjoyed her company this morning.
She had a biting sense of humor and I never knew what she would say next. She constantly surprised me with her reactions. She laughed when I thought she would scream and I never knew what would piss her off. Her personality was a mystery, but I was enjoying the process of getting to know her.
I forced myself back to the book and finally the time began to pass. As the sunlight began to fade I smiled and put my book down. Looking out the window, I was pleased to see that it was late enough for me to pick Bella up without causing an incident. I grabbed my car keys and headed out to the garage with a smile on my face.
As I pulled up to her building, parking in my typical spot, I mentally crossed my fingers about leaving my car again and went inside. Bella answered quickly when I knocked. Immediately I realized something was wrong. Her face was red and her eyelashes were damp with tears. Her heart was pounding and she was almost trembling with emotion.
"What's wrong?" I demanded as I rushed into the apartment. Without thinking, I reached out and pulled her closer to me in a hug. She didn't resist and actually rested her head against my chest for a moment. I closed my eyes for as I felt the warmth from her contact and inhaled her sweet scent. I mentally frowned as I noticed her scent was faintly different. It wasn't drugs or alcohol, but something had altered the way her blood smelled.
"It's nothing, Jasper," she sighed as she raised her head to look at me. "Something's up with Andy, and he's being a real asshole," she said sadly, leading me further into the apartment by the hand. "He was a jerk when I got home this morning, and he was rude again when he left this afternoon." I frowned at the thought of him hurting her feelings.
"I'm sorry he upset you, Bella," I said, moving my hand from hers to brush the hair away from her face. She shrugged her shoulders. "What's on the agenda for this evening?" she asked in a cheerful tone that sounded forced. "I thought I'd leave it up to you, Bella," I answered with a shrug. "Your place, my place, movie… whatever you feel like doing," I added as I watched her.
She thought for a moment, chewing her lip absently. "Let's just go to your place again," she finally answered. "I wanna get out of here, but I'm not in the mood for popcorn."
She walked toward her room and called over her shoulder, "Just let me grab a few things in case I pass out again." "Take your time, Bella," I answered softly. I hated to see her so upset and I wondered what exactly Andy had said to disturb her so much. I walked over to lean on the kitchen counter as I waited for Bella to finish.
I noticed a large plastic shopping bag was precariously close to falling off the counter and I reached out to push it back. As I moved it, I noticed it was full of unused syringes. I assumed they were for Andy and wondered why he didn't put them away.
Bella came out of her room with her backpack and noticed me looking at the bag. She gave me a strange look and I realized it looked like I was snooping. "I'm sorry, Bella. The bag was falling so I moved it back," I began to explain. She shook her head at me and gave a tiny smile.
"Sure, Jasper," she said sarcastically. "I guess it's only fair since I went through your entire kitchen." Her smile faded as she continued. "I just wish he had taken them with him. I pick them up for him at a clinic, but he didn't take what I brought him today."
She hesitated briefly and then reached for the bag. "I'll hang it on his door knob," she said firmly, walking toward his room. She returned quickly and shrugged into her jacket. Her movement caused her scent to drift toward me. I frowned as I noticed the difference again. She saw my expression and raised her eyebrows.
"What, do I have something on my face?" she asked quickly. I smiled at her in reassurance. "No, you just smell different, and I can't figured out why," I admitted. She looked confused and turned her head to smell her hair. I laughed gently as I corrected her. "No, not your outside smells, your scent," I tried to explain.
Her eyes widened slightly and she began to blush. "What?" I demanded in a teasing tone. "Do you know what it is?" I asked as she blushed harder. She nodded her head and bent down to pick up her backpack. "Well, what is it, Bella? You have to tell me, wondering about it is driving me crazy!"
She looked up at me and heaved a big breath. "Any chance you'll just let it go?" she asked hopefully. "Not after you're making such a big deal out of it, Sweetheart," I quipped back. She huffed at me in frustration. "I got a shot today, Jasper. You probably just smell that." I frowned at her in surprise.
"What kind of shot, Bella? Are you sick?" I asked with concern, although I hadn't noticed any symptoms of illness. "No, I'm not sick. It's a birth control shot, okay? You probably smell the hormones" she admitted. "I get it just in case, you know?" She spoke quietly, rubbing her left shoulder. I picked up the scent of a Band-Aid and realized that must have been where she had the injection.
"In case of what, Bella?" I asked softly. She looked down at her feet without answering, and I realized she meant in case she had to have sex for shelter or money again.
I reached over to lift her chin so I could see her face. "Bella, I hope you mean in case you meet somebody. Because, there is no other in case you need to worry about," I emphasized. "I understand you don't have a reason to trust me yet, Bella. But you need to know you will never be in a situation where you're forced to make that choice again," I said firmly.
She stepped away from my hands and shook her head. "You don't know that for sure," she whispered. "Shit happens. People die, people leave," she continued angrily. "You can't control what happens in my life, no matter how much you want to."
I reached out to take one of her hands in mine, knowing I would need the extra calm to get her to listen. "I don't want to control your life, Bella," I said honestly. "But now that I've found you, I'm going to make sure you never have to face that choice again. I'll always be there if you need help." I hoped she could feel the truth behind my words.
She looked at me silently with her angry eyes. "Always is a long time, Jasper," she finally ground out with her teeth clenched. I could tell the discussion was over as she pulled away and put her backpack on her shoulders. I decided to let it go for now. I would prove her wrong in the end, but I didn't need to win the argument tonight.
"Let's get out of here, Bella," I said gently. She just nodded her head and followed me to the door. We drove back to my building without any further discussion, but her silence wasn't hostile. We walked to a deli and grabbed a sandwich for her, which she ate quickly as we headed back to my building.
Leading her into the apartment, I took her backpack off her shoulders. "I'll just put this in the bedroom. You can choose a movie if you want," I told her, walking toward my room. She began scrolling through the On Demand choices, and by the time I came back from my room she had chosen the newest version of Pride and Prejudice.
"I hope you don't mind this," she said when she heard my steps. "I haven't seen this version yet, but I've wanted to since it was out in theaters," she admitted softly. "It's fine, Bella. I haven't seen this one either."
I was surprised when I saw her stand and walk back to my bedroom. I heard her moving around the bathroom and changing her clothes. I was glad she planned on staying over again. She sat beside me on the couch as the movie started. She reached out and gently took my hand. I couldn't help smiling as I felt warmth and peace drift over us.
The movie continued, and Bella drifted slowly closer to me. Finally she sighed and actually snuggled her body against me. I lifted her up and laid a pillow over my lap before positioning her on it. "Don't want you to get cold," I whispered as she mumbled a complaint. I imagined laying on me had to be similar to cuddling a statue, but she seemed to enjoy it.
When the movie was over, Bella stood up and led me back to the bedroom by the hand. She turned to look at me, her question clear in her eyes. "I'll stay, Bella. You go get ready, I'll get a book." She nodded and I went to choose something to read.
We spent the night curled up like last night and no nightmares interrupted her sleep. I finished my book early in the evening, but I enjoyed listening to her regular breathing. I was quickly getting accustomed to the sounds and smells of Bella in my life. I could only hope that I could convince her to let me stick around on a more permanent basis. I had my work cut out for me, but it would be worth it if she agreed.
Long Ass Author Note!
Hey everyone, thanks for waiting on me to get my act together! I used to hate it when writers trash what they wrote, but now I totally understand So I wrote this chapter in a state of severe sleep deprivation after being on six different airplanes over ten days. Mynxi has some stuff going on and we decided I should go ahead and post this un-beta'd. She'll make it pretty when life allows and I will fix it and repost. This is not my best work, please don't give up on me if this chapter drove you nuts! That being said, if you didn't hate it, I could REALLY use a pat on the back! I love every review I get and it really makes it easier to keep going when it's hard.
Mynxi and Anadabyel, I love you both even though you're going on a date with Jasper without me
Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter. Thanks to BaltiK for suggesting the Catskills as an alternative hunting ground for Jasper! I ended up googling the directions, hope I didn't get him too lost sweetie!
4/4/10 P.S. to Long Ass Author Note—So it's beta'd now, thanks to mynxi. Baby, thanks for doing what you do. You rock my word world.
Sorry if I was too whiney up there, everyone was really sweet in their reviews!