"Hey Abby," McGee said morosely as he shuffled into the lab.

Abby was sitting at her desk, bored because of not having a case to work on, carefully making Bert his own mini studded dog collar. She looked up.

"Hi Timmy. What's wrong?"

He sighed. "Gibbs is gone again, no one knows where, and Tony and Ziva have been torturing me all day." He lifted troubled eyes to hers. "I just wanted someone to be happy for us."

Abby frowned. Tim was taking this much more seriously than she'd expected. Normally he'd just let Tony's teasing roll off his back. But maybe it was just more personal this time. She got up and went over to him. Leading McGee to her chair, she made him sit down and stood behind it, putting her arms around him.

"They probably are happy for us, deep down Tim, but they're just not sure how to show it."

"Yeah, right," McGee scoffed.

"No, really!" Abby insisted, spinning him around so they were face to face. "Tony doesn't do long term relationships. Well, not since Jeanne and never before her either," she added. "And Ziva never really had a relationship because of how she was raised. She wasn't allowed to have those feelings. Plus, it's probably kind of weird for them that we're breaking Rule 12, even if we sort of have permission."

Tim nodded, still looking down. Abby didn't like this mood at all. "What can I do McGee?" she asked, reaching for his hands.

He finally met her eyes. "A hug."

"Well, you've come to the right place. I happen to be very good at giving hugs." Abby grinned and held out her arms and McGee stood up. She gave him the tightest hug she could and felt him hug her back just as much.

"You're happy for us, right Abbs?" he asked her hesitantly.

"Timmy!" she pulled away. "Of course I am. I'm extremely happy for us!" Looking into his sad green eyes, Abby made a decision. She'd been planning to do this a different way, but McGee seemed like he needed to hear it now. She took a deep breath and smiled slowly. "I love you Tim."

His eyes widened and he grabbed her arms, a grin breaking across his face. "Really?"

"Yes really," she laughed. "Silly boy. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

McGee raised his eyebrows skeptically. "More than puppies?"

Abby put her hand on his cheek and rubbed noses with him. "Way more than puppies Tim, I promise."

Everything about McGee brightened. "Good," he nodded, pulling a small box out of his pocket.

Abby's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "McGee?" she asked cautiously. All of a sudden she remembered what he'd said when he was making dinner for her last Thursday. Yes she loved him but she wasn't sure if she was ready for forever right this second.

McGee saw her expression and chuckled. "Don't worry Abbs, it's not what you think." He placed the little box in the center of her palm. "Happy One Week Anniversary Abby."

Abby lifted the lid. Inside on a pillow of cotton lay a fine silver bracelet. The charm hanging from it was a computer mouse overtop of a studded dog collar. The scripted writing on the part that would circle her wrist read, "The Geek and the Goth - Forever Love".

"Oh McGee," she breathed softly. "It's beautiful." She looked up at him, her eyes shining. "Will you put it on for me?"

Glad she liked his gift, Tim picked up the jewellery and fastened it around Abby's slim wrist, above her black wristband. It fit just right.

Abby leaned up to kiss him thank-you. Tim leaned into her, loving her touch. When they pulled apart, he took her hands and laughed.

"Didn't Gibbs say no making out in the lab? Are we breaking more rules Abby?"

Abby reflected on this briefly and then smiled wickedly. "Gibbs said no making out in the lab. He didn't say no kissing in the lab."

"Technicalities Abby?" McGee teased.

"Only when necessary Tim," she smiled, touching his lips one more time. She settled her head on his shoulder and McGee put his arms around her, sighing happily.

"I love you Abby."

"Love you too Tim."

NCIS

Gibbs was sitting in the waiting room, tapping his fingers impatiently against his knee. He didn't like waiting, it wasn't one of his strong suites, kind of like being patient. Shifting in the chair, he shoved his hands into his pockets, surprised to feel a piece of paper in one. He brought his hand back out and stared at the wrinkled paper. That's odd, he thought. Where did that come from? Opening it up, he found a reply to his note from last night.

Jethro, thank you. Always have, always will. Love, Jen. He smiled. Sometimes neither one of them knew what to say, but they were both reaching out in the simplest way. Leaning back he started to think, like Kristyn had advised, about what he could do to bring their closeness back.

Then Gibbs remembered the flower list still in a folder on his desk somewhere and smiled. There had to be something there that would tell Jenny how he felt. Satisfaction spread through him but the thoughts swirling around in his mind kept it from lasting. He sure hoped Kristyn could get Jenny to talk. If only she would tell him what she was thinking instead of her therapist.

NCIS

Dr. Renway watched her for a moment, before sitting down to face her. "Hello Jenny."

"Hi," Jenny said nervously.

Deciding to get right to the point since Jenny was so good at hiding things, Kristyn began. "Tell me about Saturday Jenny."

She dropped her face into her hands. "What's there to say? We tried, it was awful and we've barely talked since."

"I don't suppose you care to elaborate a little more?"

Jenny met her therapist's eyes. "How?"

"What were you feeling? Why was it awful? What did you do afterwards? I need to know what was going on in your head Jenny, it's the only way to talk you through it."

"It was so stupid!" Jenny exploded. "I thought I was ready. Heck, I'd spent all day convincing myself that it was a good idea. My husband had a bad day at work and he needed me, I wanted to find my own comfort in his body, and I figured the longer we waited, the worse it would be. You know, like your advice on touching?"

Kristyn opened her mouth but Jenny held up her hand.

"I am not blaming you," she said. "I heard one thing you said and paid zero attention to the rest of the session, determined to do this my own way." Jenny forced a mirthless laugh. "A lot of good that did me."

"Okay, you're telling me how you feel about the idea itself, but what did you feeling during the time the two of you were together?"

Jenny leaned forward, doing just what Gibbs had done and focusing on the floor rather than the doctor's face. Kristyn didn't care, as long as she was talking. They could work on eye contact and confidence later.

"At first, when it was just kissing and touching, it was great. I wanted to be with him, there was no doubt he wanted to be with me...I was enjoying myself. But..." her cheeks started to colour, "when the clothes started coming off I began to get nervous. I pushed the thoughts away, telling myself it was okay and that I had no reason to be afraid. But I couldn't convince my mind or my body." Jenny closed her eyes. "It hurt, just like I'd dreaded. And I remembered when it hurt before, in the bunker. And then I couldn't take it, so I pushed Jethro away. I couldn't even look at him after that," she said softly, trying not to cry.

Kristyn cocked her head to the side. "Why couldn't you look at him?"

Jenny looked so fragile sitting on the couch. The therapist wondered if today was the day she might actually break. "Because, it was my fault. Everything might not have been fine before but it was okay, good even sometimes." She shook her head slowly. "He deserves so much better than me. This isn't fair to him. I keep waiting for the moment he will give up, and say it's not worth the effort anymore."

"Have you told Mr. Gibbs this?" Kristyn asked, shocked at the depth of Jenny's insecurity.

"No. How could I?"

"You might be surprised at how it would help. Jenny, your husband loves you. He is here with you, coming to these sessions, because he is willing to fight for you. Neither of your are just going to give it up." She rolled her eyes. "You're both way too stubborn for that to happen. And I know he would tell you not even to think things like that."

"Maybe," Jenny shrugged, unconvinced. Kristyn added it to her growing list of things to get the two of them to talk about and continued trying to get her take on their weekend.

"So going to the office on Sunday?"

Jenny looked up. "I didn't want feel alone while I was with him. It was like we were in two separate worlds. I'm not sure we said two words to each other the whole two days after that."

Kristyn's gaze was sympathetic. "I'm sorry Jenny, I should have been far more careful with what I was telling you on Friday."

"I probably should've listened closer," Jenny admitted. "I'm just so tired of feeling like this! Like it's hopeless to wait for healing, as if nothing will be the same or normal ever again."

"How do you mean?" Dr. Renway asked, not sure she followed.

Jenny's sigh was heavy. "You're going to think I'm a horrible person."

Kristyn shook her head. "No, I won't. That's why this is called a safe place Jenny, there is no judgement here. No matter what is going through your head, what you're feeling, you can tell me. We'll work through it."

It was hard to share how she really felt, the things her head kept telling her, trying to convince her. When she finally spoke, Jenny's voice was quiet. "I feel guilty for wanting to be with my husband, like what that man did to me should've taken away any pleasure I will ever get from making love. I think I know it's a lie, but I also think I might deserve this punishment. Like maybe this is all my fault after all. How can I want what hurt me?"

For a moment, as she was looking into her patient's conflicted and pain filled eyes, Kristyn wished she was Jenny's friend instead of her therapist. If she was, she could hug her and tell her everything was going to be fine. But fine was not a word that could be used on Jenny right now. Sitting here in Kristyn's office, Jenny was far from fine. Confused, frustrated, angry and wanting it all to be over. They had a lot to work on.

"Jenny," Dr. Renway began softly, "I want you to listen to me very carefully, and don't just hear me with your ears, please take these truths into your heart. First of all, everything you've told me that you feel is perfectly normal after you've been raped. But that doesn't mean it's the truth. You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting to sleep with your husband. It's a natural human response. And what happened should not be allowed to take away your pleasure in the act forever. You deserve to have a healthy sex life Jenny and you have a wonderful man around who will be patient with you while you work your way back to that. You have done nothing to deserve this and rape is not a punishment, it is a violent crime. You did nothing wrong."

Kristyn paused, wanting Jenny to soak her words in. "Wanting sex is not the same as wanting what hurt you. No one ever wants to be raped, no one ever asks for it. It is an act committed against them, without their consent. What you want is what you had before the rape Jenny - loving, pleasurable sex with your husband whom you love." She shook her head slowly. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"But Jethro," Jenny said brokenly, "he deserves more than I am able to give him. He has a right to my body because I'm his wife. He needs me sometimes and I can't let him."

"Jenny," Kristyn said firmly, "I think your husband is a good man and I am beginning to have a deep respect for him. But this is your healing we are talking about and Mr. Gibbs' expectations and needs are not your concern. If he is willing to wait, which he is, you need to let yourself heal at whatever pace works for you and not push it. There is nothing wrong with taking a break from sex to let your body, and your mind, heal from what you experienced."

It was obvious from the expression on Jenny's face that all of this was hard for her to believe. "I miss him," she whispered.

The doctor regarded her for a moment. "What do you really miss Jenny? Do you miss making love? Do you miss being close to him emotionally? Do you miss his touches, his kiss? Do you miss wanting him and not trying to have sex because you think you should? What?"

Jenny closed her eyes. "I miss knowing we are okay, that nothing can come between us. I miss when flirting with him was fun and I was excited about where it could lead. I miss the comfort I used to find when it was his body against mine. I miss him wanting to love me, whatever that means. I miss touching without having to think about it first and kissing him until there was only one thing we both wanted." She shrugged. "I just miss my husband."

Kristyn thought, wondering what it would help Jenny to hear right now when everything was overwhelming. "Being married isn't just about having sex Jenny. The two of you are together because you love each other, because you wanted to share a life together. Sex is important, but it's not the only thing. The emotional closeness you two share is not forever gone just because your body can't handle making love yet. Laughing together, having fun with each other...those are great things. Your healing does not have to be a negative process for the two of you. Remember that cuddling, kissing, and holding hands can go a long way to building intimacy and eventually getting back to where you want to be physically. It's not all going to happen one time, or during one day, or just because you decide it should. Let yourself relax about healing Jenny, your husband isn't going anywhere while he waits."

"And just a note on touching Jenny," she added, "I learned something when your husband was talking with me. Touching is a man's way of saying you're theirs." She shook her head at the look in Jenny's eyes, the way she visibly shuddered. "No, not the way your attacker touched you - hurting you, wanting to possess and control you. With your husband he's wanting to tell you that it's okay, even if he knows it's not. He wants you to know you're safe with him, that you're loved and wanted. Try to hold onto that."