Hi everybody! Hope you guys enjoyed yourselves during the holidays. Chapter 10 is up. Hope you guys like it!
CHAPTER 10
Friends or more!
Rachel left the rink, walking. She walked but kept glancing at the rink to look at Finn. Once she got out of his sight, she started running. She ran for couple of minutes, trying to clear up her head of her encounter with him. After 10 minutes running, she stopped, out of breath. The run hadn't calm her but she knew what would. So, she took her cell phone and called Puck. She didn't have to wait long for him to answer joyfully.
"Hi Berry, Miss me?"
"Hi Noah!" she replied quickly to Puck. "Could you come and pick me up at home in 15 minutes, I really need you?" added Rachel trying not to break into tears.
"Sure, sound like another case of a sad song, Dr Pukerman will be there as soon as he can." replied Puck laughing.
"Thanks Noah, I don't know what I would do without you." replied Rachel, calmer.
"Didn't you know that rescuing jewish damsel in distress was my new mission." said Puck, hoping he would make Rachel laugh.
"Honestly, Puck, I'll never thank you enough for being such a good friend to me." She replied smiling.
"See you now Berry" said Puck, hanging up.
After phone call to Puck, Rachel walked home slower, taking time to take in what had just happen. It would have been so easy and so good to give in. Saying goodbye to Finn had been the hardest thing she had ever done. He had looked so sad and she hated to see sadness and hurt in his gorgeous brown eyes. It had taken all her might and all her will to leave him but she knew she had no other choice but to do so. They both needed time alone if they didn't want to keep falling in their old pattern all over again.
When she arrived home, Puck was already there, sitting on the hood of his car.
"Where the hell have you been? I knocked and knocked and nobody answered" he said, worried, knowing that something was wrong when she called him.
"What's in the bag?" He added noticing the gym back on her shoulder.
"Long story, but first I have to get the camera. Wait for me, I won't be long!" Rachel said leaving Puck outside and entering her house.
She went upstairs, threw her pair of skates in her room and took her camera. She came back downstairs, got out of the house, got into Puck's car without talking, not taking more than 30 seconds to breath. Puck got into the car, in the driver's seat.
"Way to go Berry, next time could you be a bit faster please?" Puck said starting the car and took the road that would lead them to McKinley High School.
Rachel reminded silent, lost deep in her thoughts. She didn't say a word on the way to school.
Once there, She went out of the car and went, almost running, to door they had borrowed so many times during the last two weeks. Puck followed her, unlocked the door and they went straight to the auditorium. As they were used to do by now, Rachel went on the stage and Puck opened the lights. Puck took off his coat and cap, threw them on the floor. Then, he went to Rachel and took the camera from her.
"3-2-1, rolling" said Puck while pushing the rec button.
I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong, I will be faithful
'Cause I'm counting on
A new beginnin'
A reason for livin'
A deeper meanin', yea
And I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
And when my stars are shinin' brightly in the velvet sky
I'll make a wish to send it to Heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the comfort and protection of
The highest powers in lonely hours
The tears devour you
Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standin' right before you
All that you need will surely come
Rachel sang to the front row once again, to the imaginary Finn, the one to whom she was allowing herself to sing what she really felt, without questioning or alteration. She sang her heart out to that empty bench once more.
"It's a wrap" Puck said when she had sang her last note, closing the video camera.
As every other time, he went to her and let her cry on his shoulder but, this time, she cried longer.
"Stop or you're going to drown me Berry." Puck said, holding onto her tighter.
"I can't stop, I'm sorry Noah." Rachel replied loosen her grip on him, to look at him.
As she looked at him, Puck caressed her cheeks, whipping her tears away, starring at her, affection in his eyes. It made Rachel smile.
"Would you drive me home Noah?" she said, feeling a little better.
"Your wishes are my command, my jewish princess!" replied Puck bowing in front of her.
Rachel laughed slightly and smiled at him.
Puck put his coat back on. Once dressed, he presented his arms to Rachel who took it and they walked out of the auditorium and finally out of the school.
Once outside, they walked, almost ran, together until they reached the car and got into it quickly. Once inside, they both shivered and breathed in the hands to reheat them, the time was getting colder. After few seconds, Puck started the car and they took back to road to Rachel's house.
On their way back home, Rachel decided to put the radio on and a familiar song filled the air. Puck recognized it too but was to slow to shut it down before Rachel could hear the first verse.
Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love
Along the wire
The slight smile on Rachel face's disappeared when she heard those lyrics she had once enjoyed so much. Puck made a move to switch station but Rachel held his hand before he could reach the button.
"It's okay Noah, I'll be okay. I have to get use to this, even if it hurts. I have to learn that my life is not all about Finn." said Rachel trying not the break into tears.
The car pulled over Rachel's house.
"Goodnight Puck" she said to him, unfastening her belt, leaning her head to face him only to see Puck get out the car too. She looked at him with question marks in the eyes.
"Don't look at me like that. No way I am leaving alone tonight." He said getting to the door before her.
"You don't have to, Noah, I'll be fine. You must have much more interesting things to do…" Rachel said going to meet him on the porch.
"Something clearly upsetting happened this afternoon and I am not going anywhere until you spill the juice. That, and the fact that I would kill for a hot chocolate" said Puck half joking.
"Come on Berry or, soon, I won't feel my junk anymore and you know how much it is important to me, more than my brain!" said Puck trying to the more seriously as he could.
Rachel laughed opening the door and the both entered.
The house was dark and empty. Rachel's fathers had left for the week-end. Puck and Rachel both took off their boots, coats and Puck followed Rachel into the kitchen where she prepared the hot chocolate. Puck sat in the chair near the sink and watched carefully during the preparation of the hot beverage, almost drooling with envy.
"Noah, would you please give me two cups in the cupboard behind you." She said brewing her preparation.
Puck went to the cupboard and brought her two porcelain cups. He put them in front of Rachel who filled them with the hot smelly beverage. Cups in hand, they went in the living room where Rachel sat on the long sofa and Puck on the armchair.
"So, Miss Berry, Tell me what little Hudson did to you this time?" asked Puck, mimicking a therapist taking notes.
"It is so obvious, isn't it?" said Rachel crossing the arms on his chest, becoming sadder.
"There's only that sorry excuse of a man to make you weep like that." He said looking at Rachel.
"That, and the fact that you've been singing those sad songs to him almost every night. Only a deadbeat wouldn't see what he's doing to you. " He added a bit of hardness in his voice.
"You don't understand Noah." said Rachel avoiding Puck's eyes.
"No, you're right, I don't understand. I don't understand how you keep flaying yourself for him." Said Puck, irritated.
"We love each other Noah, he told me." Replied Rachel softly.
"What? He came back at you, after you told him to give you time. Now, I am officially punching his face off!" said Puck clenching his fists.
"No Noah. This is not the way it happened. We had been set up, both of us, by Kurt. We met at the skating rink and…" said Rachel getting closer to Puck and taking his fists in her hands.
"And?" ask Puck, urging her to tell him.
"We kissed." replied Rachel a bit ashamed.
"You let him kiss you?" asked Puck, making a step backward.
"Why did you kiss him back?" He added, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Because I love him Noah." Rachel replied, getting one step closer to the boy, putting on hand on his shoulder.
"If you love him so much, then why don't you go back to him." He asked her, taking her hand off his shoulder and went to sit on the sofa. Rachel followed him and sat next to him.
"As much as I love Finn, I cannot be a couple with him right now. My heart truly wants to forgive him but I am not sure my mind would allow it. I know I have to learn how to protect myself first and after, I'll be ready for Finn, totally ready. I hope he still wants me then." Rachel told Puck, looking in his eyes.
"He'd be a fool not to." Puck replied, smiling at her, replacing a string of her hair back behind her hear.
Puck kept smiling to her, he couldn't help it. She was gorgeous and her big eyes shinned so brightly when she was talking about love, almost making him believe that such a powerful thing existed and lasted. Before doing something that he knew he would regret, he decided to leave.
"It's getting late, I should get going." he said, rinsing up, putting his hand in his pockets.
Puck went to get his coat back. Rachel followed him and put on her coat too. She went outside with him. After a few seconds looking at each other on the porch, Puck took her in his arms.
"See you tomorrow night for another session Miss Berry." He whispered, holding her tight, caressing her back to keep her warm.
"If it is the doctor's order than I'll be there." She said smiling at Puck, taking a step back to look at him.
"I have another prescription for you." Puck said, closing the bridge on them, caressing her cheek.
He leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the mouth and she let him do it without pushing him away at first but she knew she couldn't deepened the kiss, that would be big mistake, a mistake that she had decided not to do, not again.
He tried to make the kiss become more passionate but he hurt himself against a wall.
"I like you, I really do and I'll be forever thankful to you but I don't love you that way Noah." she whispered, their lips still millimetres away from each other's. She put her arms around him.
"You're my friend, the very best friend I could wish for but my love lies with Finn." She added, tearfully.
"I know." whispered Puck, caressing her hair.
Puck and Rachel parted from each other hearing a tree branch cracked under a foot. They both looked in the noise direction but didn't see anything.
"I guess this is my cue to leave then." Puck said looking back at Rachel.
"But I have one more prescription for you, a serious one this time. You should listen to your heart Berry and do what I did tonight. You are stronger than you think you are. You have resisted the Puckerman's charm, that's something I haven't experience much. More seriously, if you do love Finn so much, you should go be with him. I am pretty sure he's just hurt as bad as you are. Go to him, but this time Berry, put your conditions, stopped letting him get away with every lousy things he does to you and stop punishing yourself for his behaviour, go and make yourself whole again. Go back being the fruit that you were, juicy and tasty." Said Puck leaving the porch and went down the stairs, followed, seconds later, by Rachel.
"Thanks Noah." She said jumping into his arms. "Thanks for everything you've done for me, I hope we are going to remain friends." She added smiling.
"Don't think you are done with me Miss Berry, your best friend will still be there to keep little Finn on his toes. Tell him that I'll keep an eye on him!" said Puck joking, getting away from Rachel and getting into his car.
Rachel looked at Puck's car getting away, thinking of all the things he had done and said to her. He had kissed her, revealing his feelings for her, knowing he was going to get pushed away but he still did it. He had been her very best friend since the Finn's fiasco on Christmas night. He had listened to her, every night, singing about her undying love for his former best friend. He had been good and kind to her. If he trusted her, she would trust herself, she decided to choose her heart before un mind.
So, she went to her room. Found the perfect song on the Internet, the first song that she would actually be singing to him for real, she printed it and went back downstairs. She went out of the house and drove to the Hummel household.
Once in front of the Hummel residence, seeing Finn's car was parked there, she parked her car, opened its windows, pumped up the volume as loud as she could. She didn't mind the hour or the neighbourhood reactions, now all the wanted to focus on was her reunion with the boy she loved. The music started and she sang through it.
I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.
Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.
And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.
When she stopped singing she saw Kurt's face appear in the window. She was a bit disappointed but smiled at him as she walked to the porch joyfully. Kurt opened the door to her few seconds later.
"Is Finn's here, I really need to talk to him!" she said entering in the house without an invitation.
Kurt let her get in. Rachel headed to the stairs but Kurt took her hand before she could get on the first step.
"Don't rush upstairs for nothing, he's not here!" said Kurt yawning.
"Do you know where he is?" asked Rachel disappointed.
"I don't know. He left a while ago saying that he had something important to do and he isn't back yet." said Kurt trying to wake himself up a little.
"He was pretty upset when we came to from the skating rink. We talked about you, he went up in his room, came down, he took his coat and left saying he had something important do." said Kurt to Rachel, scratching his head.
"His car is in the driveway." Said Rachel wondering where Finn could be and hoping that he would be back soon.
"Quite frankly, I honestly thought that he was gone to see you. He could have easily walked there and maybe he is there yet, waiting for you." added Kurt, sitting on the couch.
Rachel looked at him smiling widely, hopping that Kurt was right.
"What are you still doing here Rach? Go and get the boy! Get of here!" Kurt said to a frantic Rachel who didn't lose one second and left to leave the house to go back to hers.
She got into her car and put her homemade CD. NO AIR filled the air. She couldn't stop smiling and singing while driving. She was so anxious to see Finn, for them to start over.
She drove home very fast. Once there, she was surprised not to see Finn waiting for her on the porch.
"Maybe he is walking very slowly to take time to figure out what he's going to say, how he is going to win me back. After all, I have been doing it a lot lately." said Rachel to herself almost dancing to the door.
She opened it and went inside. She took off her coat and went to the bathroom to make herself more presentable for her favourite boy. Then, she came back in the living room. She waited, standing in front the tall window impatiently. She waited, waited and waited…
Songs : Truly, madly deeply, by Savage Garden
Faithfully, by Journey
Listen to your Heart, by Roxette.