A very Glee christmas The Sequel Chapter 11: Illusions, a glee fanfic

CHAPTER 11

Illusions

He had let her leave. He hadn't tried to stop her. Sure, she had asked him not to but what he had really wanted to do was to run to her, hold and never let go but he didn't…

He didn't understand why they were supposed to stay away from one another if they loved each other. How could he prove her she could trust him without being in her life? He knew he had to do something about this whole situation soon or he could lose her.

Lost in his thought, he didn't see Kurt and Blaine coming closer to him.

"Where is Rachel?" asked Kurt slowing down near him. He looked around; sure he would find Rachel somewhere nearby.

"She went home." Finn said to his brother emotionless.

"Why did she go home? I thought that your make out session would have helped you guys out, quite the show actually and to say that you were afraid of losing her." He said, smirking at his brother.

"We're not back together." said Finn, not looking at Kurt.

"But, at least you are talking right and in good terms" added Kurt, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Yeah, I guess we can say that." he replied, finally lifting his eyes to look at Kurt and brought them back in front of him, fixing emptiness.

"Your guys were made for each other even if you are proud or not ready to acknowledge it yet." said Kurt to Finn who was not listening to what his brother was saying.

Finn couldn't stop thinking about Rachel, about how she had left him with anything but a goodbye kiss, on the cheeks nonetheless. She had left him there, as if he had leprosy. How could she have told him that love wasn't enough? On his side, he thought that her love would mean the world to him.

"Finn, are you even listening to me?" Kurt called, seeing his brother completely lost in his thoughts.

"What?" Finn whispered, not sure Kurt had talked to him.

"My god, you look awful" replied Kurt worried for his brother sanity.

Finn didn't reply anything to Kurt last comment. He kept looking right in front of him and stayed lost on planet Rachel. He let one single tear fell of his eyes and he let it fall freely.

"Ok. I am bringing you back home." said Kurt sitting next to Finn, patting his back. Blaine sat next to Kurt.

They all took off their skates and put on their boots. The three guys walked back to Kurt's SUV and got into the car. Blaine sat next to Kurt and Finn took place on the back, sloppily.

Kurt drove to Blaine's place. Once in front of the house, Kurt and Blaine got out of the SUV and Kurt accompanied Blaine to his door. They hugged closely and Kurt came back to the car, smiling widely, He tried to hide his total happiness before Finn could see how much cheerful he was. Finn never saw his smile. He was too deeply buried in his thought to see further than his sadness, pain and incomprehension. Kurt hated to see Finn like that. Some Ass-kicking was in order…

Kurt came back to the car, got into the driver seat, started the car and drove until they reached their house. The two guys reminded silent on the way home. Kurt kept glancing at Finn, in the mirror, to see if he was alright. Kurt had hoped that Finn would talk to him first but he should have known better. Maybe Finn didn't want to talk about this now but Kurt had other plans. Once at home, he would confront his brother about this messy situation.

Kurt parked his SUV in the driveway and they both got out of the car. Kurt walked home followed by Finn who was walking like a zombie. Kurt unlocked the door and the both entered the house. Once in, Kurt took off his winter garment and saw a note on the living room table saying that the new Mr. and Mrs. Hummel were having a night out and they could order a pizza. He decided to read the note out loud for his brother. Finn had no reactions. The tall guy took his coat and gloves off, forgetting his cap on his head and headed upstairs.

"Where do you think you are going Mr. I am suffering in silence?" asked Kurt.

"Video games, I need to set my mind on something!" replied Finn, climbing the two first steps of the staircase.

"Yeah, it's clear you need to do something but videos games won't mend your broken heart Finn. You need to talk about this." said Kurt, dragging Finn back downstairs.

"Nothing I could say will make me feel better." said Finn, sighing, letting Kurt dragging him down the stairs.

"Maybe there's nothing you can say but there surely something you can do." Replied Kurt guiding him to the sofa where they both sat.

"I tried Kurt, but she didn't listen to me." said Finn, scratching his forehead.

"Actions speak louder than words Finn." replied Kurt

"What did you think that kiss was for, Kurt, mouth to mouth?" said Finn a bit frustrated.

"No, that kiss seemed perfect; I'll give good points on that. I have to say that I am really surprised she didn't melt into your arms after that." replied Kurt a bit dumfounded.

"Join the club…" replied Finn sighing loudly, now scratching his head.

"What else did she tell you?" asked Kurt curious, wanting to understand Rachel's behavior.

"First she didn't want to stay alone with me, as if she didn't trust me. She wanted to join you guys on the ice and I offered my hand to help her but she pushed it aside as if I had a leprosy or herpes. Then, she went on the ice and fell onto my arms and you know what happened there." said Finn, looking at the floor.

"Everybody did." replied Kurt, smiling, interrupting Finn's story.

"After that, thinks started to go wrong. After our kiss, she started to cry. Knowing Rachel and knowing the kiss had been really good to both of us because of the way she responded to it, I thought her tears were happiness tear's but I was wrong." said Finn, bringing his hand to his forehand.

Finn took a deep breath.

"Then she started to say that the kiss was a mistake, that it was too soon, that she was sorry. She regretted kissing me and she kept driving piles" continued Finn a bit angry now.

"She even had the guts to say that she loved me and we couldn't be friends because of the strong feelings that she still has for me. She even kissed me goodbye, on the cheeks for god's sake." said Finn, standing up and starting pacing the room.

"I wish I could understand why she is acting like this? I don't know if I should be sad or pissed. I don't know what to do…" said Finn throwing himself back on the couch next to Kurt.

"She's acting like this because she's hurt Finn." replied Kurt looking at Finn.

"I am hurt too but I am willing to talk through this. I told her that she can trust me now that I've learn my lesson, that I won't her again, not intentionally at least. She doesn't want to believe me." Finn told Kurt, looking in the eyes.

"I don't think you are the problem here." said Kurt, lost in his thought.

"What?" questioned Finn, not sure he had understood correctly.

"You are a part of the equation Finn, that's for sure, but I'd say it's her she's scared of." replied Kurt lifting his eyes to look at his brother.

"What do you mean?" asked Finn taken aback of Kurt comments.

"That means that she loves you too much, that she doesn't trust herself with you." said Kurt looking at Finn.

"It would explain a few things." replied Finn to Kurt, now smiling, wanting so much to believe what Kurt has just said.

Kurt left the couch, tapped Finn back and went to the kitchen, leaving him alone by himself.

Finn was confused. Rachel had been pushing him away every time they had seen each other since the Christmas party. He always had been clear about the fact that he wanted to be couple with her again. On her side, she had acted strangely, keeping him away from her. Kurt could be right. Like he had said before, it sure would explain a lot.

The tall guy stood up and went in the Kitchen where Kurt stood, looking at the numerous delivery menus lying on the kitchen table.

"One more question dude?" Finn asked, both hand deep buried in his jean's pocket.

"Yes Finn." answered Kurt, lifting his eyes from the menus.

"What should I do?" Finn said as he went sitting on a chair near his brother.

"It depends on what you want?" If you want to spend time on your own, wait to see what happens next but if you really need her, like it is so obvious for me, I honestly think you should do something about it before sinking into deeper depression." said Kurt walking toward Finn.

"But she already pushed me away today. I don't think I can be more sincere and convincing that I was earlier." Finn added after Kurt plea.

"Nothing can be more convincing for Rachel than your voice. I've seen the power you have on each other when you sing together, it's unavoidable. Such a melody cannot fall into total cacophony. I truly think you are made for each other; that you are each other complement. I think it would be a complete waste of time and symphony if you two stay apart much longer." said Kurt looking at Finn.

Finn walked closer to Kurt and took him in his arms and held him.

"It's my humble opinion." Added Kurt, a bit surprised by Finn's attack of affection.

"Thank you Kurt!" Finn replied, loosening his grip on Kurt.

Kurt only response to Finn was a genuine smile. Kurt hoped his words had made their way in Finn's mind.

The tall boy left the Kitchen and went upstairs quickly and came back fifteen minutes later looking much better than he had in the last few weeks.

"Hawaiian pizza! Is it ok for you?" asked Kurt to Finn hearing him getting downstairs.

"I am not eating here. I have something important to do. Don't wait up for me." Finn replied to Kurt, putting on his coat, hiding Unchained Melody lyrics in the inside pocket of his coat and going out of the house, almost running, slamming the door.

Kurt smiled and returned to his delivery menu; hopping Finn would go exactly where he belonged.

Finn decided not to take his car; he decided to walk, no, to run to Rachel's house. He kept singing, unchained melody, the song he had chosen to sing to Rachel. He whispered it while running to his sweet reunion with the girl he loved.

Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea,
to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'
I'll be coming home wait for me

Finn arrived at Rachel's house twenty minutes later, out of breath. He ran to the door, knocked and knocked but nobody answered. He decided to wait for her. He really wanted to tell her how he truly felt about her and the sooner would be the better.

He was pacing near the door, trying to find the best way to introduce himself and his song, when he saw a car approaching Rachel's house. His first instinct was to go hiding behind the cedar edge next to Rachel's house. Once hidden he saw the car pulling into the Rachel's house drive way. Surprised, he saw Puck coming out of the car.

When he said him, he instinctively wanted to punch his face off but he retained himself when he saw Rachel getting out by the other side of Puck's car. He could see that they had been talking but he was too far to understand what they were saying to each other. She seemed to be ok, more than ok, she was smiling. Then, they entered the house.

Finn didn't understand what was happening right now. Why was she with Puck and alone in her house with him. He knew the bad boy couldn't be trusted and he knew Rachel knew it too. Maybe she wanted to get him alone.

Finn saw lights opening in the house, the lights of the kitchen and the living room. At least, they weren't in her room doing god knows what. Finn couldn't help wondering what they were doing at the very moment.

Suddenly, images of Rachel and Puck making out on the couch, the same couch where they had so many tender nights, fingers intertwined and lost in each other eyes popped into his head. Trying to chase those illusions away, he walked toward the house quietly but stepped backward quickly, wondering if he really wanted to know what was going on inside, knowing that what he could see can ruin everything hope he had.

He decided to go to the house and clear everything up with Rachel even if it meant a tough encounter with Puck. He was ready to fight for her and he was determined to win her back.

As he was going to go to the house, the saw two silhouettes coming outside. Puck and Rachel came out of the house. He saw Puck getting closer to her and taking het into his arms. He held her tight.

He could see that they were talking but didn't understand them because he was too far from them. But what he definitely saw was the kiss Puck gave her. His mouth dropped open when he saw her accepting it and not pushing him away. He closed his eyes, not believing his own eyes. He turned his head, disgusted, and a tree branch cracked under his foot.

Conscious of his slip, he glanced at them. They were looking in his direction. He hoped they hadn't seen him. Fortunately for him, they hadn't seen his tall silhouette hidden in the bushes.

Even if he didn't want to, he took another glance at them. They were still talking and, suddenly, she jumped into his arms. Finn kept staring at them, their embrace was strangling him.

Few minutes later, he saw Puck leave. He saw a very emotional Rachel saying goodbye to him. Much more emotional than when she had said goodbye to him, he thought. Then, she went back into the house. Now that his time was come to act, he had no desire to do it. He should have seen it coming. But, what he saw and believed next broke his heart.

He saw Rachel came out of the house, all prepped up and getting into her car. She drove off as fast as she could; taking the same path that Puck had taken few minutes before.

With Rachel out of sight, Finn went to sit on the porch, trying to take in what he had just seen. Puck and Rachel! Rachel and Puck! God, he felt so stupid. The more he thought about it, the more he understood the mistake, the too soon, the I need time to heel… In Puck's arms, he completed for himself. Now, every pieces of the puzzle was taking its place. After all, Quinn had preferred Puck. Why would Rachel choose otherwise?

He had been so gullible. He laughed thinking at the word Rachel had told him the very same day. He had been played for the last time, he promised himself. Now it would be his time to play.

He fumbled into his coat's inside pocket, took the lyrics of Unchained Melody and tore it apart. He let the shreds of papers fell around him and started to walk away from Rachel's house quickly.

No, he wasn't going to sing unchained melody to her but another song popped in his head.

Here we stand
Worlds apart
Hearts broken in two, two, two
Sleepless nights
losing ground
I'm reaching for you, you, you

Feelin' that it's gone
Can't change your mind
If we can't go on
To survive the tide
Love divides

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

Troubled times
Caught between confusions and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain
In vain, vain

If you must go
I wish you love
You'll never walk alone
Take care my love
Miss you love

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
If he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you
You know I still love you

I still love you, girl
I really love you, girl
And if he ever hurts you
True love won't desert you

His feet lead him to a place he didn't really want to be but out of choice and out for hope he knocked on the wooden door.

"Hello lover boy. You finally came back to your senses." said Santana inviting him inside, seductively.

"You said you have an interesting offer for me!" replied Finn staying on the porch.

"Yes but fun first Finn..." Santana said pulling him inside.

Songs: Unchained Melody, by The Righteous Brothers

Separated ways, by Journey.