Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer, but if I ever see a Jasper action figure, I'm gonna buy it!
Thanks as always to Mynxi for being a super beta babe. Congrats on your recent RL accomplishment, smart girl!
HUGE thank you to the Jasper's Darlins' for reviewing AMCE on their blog. I am beyond flattered. I don't have much time to play on the blogs, but when I do, the Darlins' is where I go!
Chapter Thirteen
JPOV
I took my time cleaning my cum off of each of Bella's tiny fingers. My dick was almost sighing in relief at my first non-self induced orgasm in nearly two years, but my mind was just as relieved. I had been able to control my movements even at the peak of pleasure. Her soft warmth had felt exquisite, yet I hadn't injured her fragile hands even as I thrust into them seeking more friction. I felt extremely optimistic about being able to have sex without hurting her. There was just one more thing I wanted to test myself with before making Bella physically mine.
I tossed the dirty towel aside and locked my eyes onto hers. "Now, Miss Swan," I drawled with a heavy accent, "I believe it's your turn." I leaned forward over her tiny frame, bracing my arms on both sides of her. Her eyes widened and her breaths grew rapid as I moved my face toward hers to claim her lips in a long, open mouthed kiss.
Without breaking the kiss, I flipped her so she was on top and began tugging her shirt up to reveal her perfect tits, just ready to spill out of a black lacy bra. "Beautiful," I sighed as I lifted her shirt off and slid the bra off her shoulders.
Tugging on her denim clad ass, I slid her up my chest so I could easily reach her. I took a minute to enjoy kneading her soft, warm breasts with both hands before I took one nipple into my mouth. She moaned in pleasure as she arched her back.
I took my time, paying equal attention to each pink nipple. I alternated sucking with licking and pinching. When she began writhing on top of me, I took the hint and rolled us over again so that she was on her back, using all of my self control not to rub my throbbing dick on her.
I opened the button to her fraying jeans as I began to kiss my way down her abdomen. I mentally sighed at how prominent her ribs and hip bones still were. She had put some weight on since moving in with me, but she had a ways to go before she would be properly filled out again.
I sat up as I eased her jeans down her legs and tossed them aside. Lifting one of her tiny feet, I placed a gentle kiss on her toes. At her giggle, I looked up to see her smiling face, her eyes shining brilliantly as she watched me hold her foot.
"Hush," I scolded gently as I blew on her little toes. Her eyes darkened as her body shivered at the sensation of my cool breath. She remained silent, but kept her eyes locked on mine as I began to kiss my way up her calf and toward her inner thigh.
I felt her fingers in my hair as I reached the juncture of her thighs and the edge of her black panties. "Jasper," she breathed out as I gently pressed my mouth against the damp cotton, smirking as she reflexively lifted her hips to meet my lips.
I teased her through the fabric with my fingertips and tongue until she began to seriously tug my hair as she twisted around trying to get more friction. I moved my lips to the elastic at the top of her panties as I slowly began to pull them down, moving my mouth down as more skin was revealed to me.
Finally baring her completely, I sat back to take in the sight of her pink folds glistening in arousal. My eyes travelled up her body, taking in the fact that her eyes were closed tight and her head was pushed back into the pillows. Her hands were clenched into fists and her body was practically humming with tension.
Unable to wait any longer to taste her, I quickly leaned forward and used my hands to spread her folds open for me. I pressed a soft kiss to her hard little nub before I moved down to probe her with my tongue. Her taste was amazing, almost as sweet as her blood smelled. The sensation of warm wetness on my tongue was just as incredible as it had been on my fingers.
Reminding myself to moderate my movements, I began to thrust my tongue into her, groaning as she began rocking her hips to meet my motion. Replacing my tongue with two fingers, I licked my way back up to her throbbing clit.
She moaned my name hoarsely as she pushed herself down harder on my fingers. Smiling into her dripping pussy, I flicked my tongue lightly all around her tiny nub before latching my lips firmly over it and sucking tightly.
At that instant, I felt her tight walls convulse over my fingers. She bucked her hips wildly as her orgasm broke over her in waves. I slowed the motion of my fingers and gently eased the suction on her clit as she began to come down. Unable to resist one more taste, I dipped my tongue in to lap at the wet results of her pleasure, humming in satisfaction as she bucked weakly into my mouth.
Reluctantly removing my mouth from her, I looked up at her body, beautifully flushed with pleasure. My dick was hard as steel again from the sight and taste of her, and I began to mentally recite the periodic table backwards to try to calm myself down.
Bella was still gasping slightly as she came down from the high, her breasts heaving with every breath. Her eyes remained closed, but she grasped blindly for me with one hand. Smiling smugly, I pressed my cold body against hers as I moved up to kiss her softly on the lips.
Her eyes flew open, and I mentally chastised myself for not realizing she might not appreciate tasting herself for the first time. Before I could apologize, she surprised me by darting her tongue out and licking my lips before pressing it into my mouth for a short hot kiss.
"Jesus, Bella. I just got myself under control, don't get me started again," I whined as I broke our kiss and rolled onto my back. Giggling, she rolled over onto her side up against me. Pressing her lips against my cheek, she whispered into my ear.
"That was amazing, Jasper. Thank you."
I looked steadily into her eyes as I brought one hand up to play with her hair. "My pleasure, Sweetheart," I drawled at her with a smile. "Just wait, it gets even better," I promised her in a low growl.
Her eyes widened at my words and her heart rate began to pick up. "Easy there, we'll have plenty of time to mess around tomorrow. But you need to get some rest now so you have plenty of energy," I teased as I stood up, dragged my boxers on, and brought her bag over to the bed. She pretended to pout at me, but she couldn't stop her smile from breaking through.
"As much as I would love to cuddle up to your sweet, naked ass all night, I think you'd get chilly," I said regretfully as I tossed her a T-shirt and a pair of flannel pants.
"Thanks," she groaned as she stifled a yawn and stood up to walk into the bathroom.
I had to bite back my own groan as I stared blatantly at her naked body strolling casually away from me to begin her night time routine. I only made it through the periodic table two more times before she rejoined me on the bed, cuddling into the soft bedding as I settled us into our normal position.
"This is so perfect, Jasper," she mumbled as she drifted toward sleep. "Thank you for everything, this is great," she sighed as her breaths evened out.
"You're welcome, Baby," I whispered into her hair as I watched her face relax completely into sleep. I gave myself a moment to feel triumphant about being able to pleasure her with my mouth without hurting her or losing control. When I was touching her, I felt no bloodlust at all. I was just disappointed that my vampire venom made it impossible for me to bite her for pleasure, since she seemed to enjoy pinching so much.
My dick twitched at that line of thought, so I quickly began to distract myself with planning the day with Bella. She had responded so well to the peace and quiet out here that I wanted to spend some time with her outdoors. Unfortunately, I knew that probably wouldn't be at the top of her short list of things to do. I would just have to be extra persuasive in the morning.
She sighed softly in her sleep and I smiled at her beautiful face. After a few hours, I carefully extracted myself from the bed. She was having a really peaceful night; she hadn't even flinched once. I quietly pulled on my jeans and made my way out to the great room. I took in the night view of the frozen lake for a few minutes before I grabbed my laptop bag and set the computer up on the desk.
I logged on and checked my e-mail, hoping for an update from Jenks. I wasn't disappointed since there were actually two messages from him in my inbox. The first was an update on the Andy team. They were in position to watch his apartment and there was a man on him at all times. The team had quickly determined that it was impossible to keep tabs on the entire gang, so they had prioritized which leaders to watch while Jenks worked on recruiting more team members.
I shot back a reply, ordering him to move as quickly as possible on completing the team. I didn't like having any open ends when Bella's safety was concerned. I scanned the second message from Jenks and relaxed slightly. His guy at the Forks PD had been successful in his attempt to get Bella's possessions out of the evidence room. Two boxes were on their way to my apartment.
I sent a second reply, asking Jenks to contact my building manager with directions to hold the boxes for me and offered my sincere thanks for his help. I was unsure how Bella would react to having mementos of her previous life, but I knew it was better to offer her the chance rather than let them rot in a box in Forks.
My jobs for the evening completed, I pulled a book out of my bag and returned to the bedroom. Bella was still sleeping peacefully, her breaths deep and even. Knowing she liked to wake up in my arms, I carefully climbed back into bed and situated myself next to her. Her dreams remained calm and I divided the rest of the night between reading and devising my plan to get Bella outside tomorrow.
As day broke, I noticed with relief that it was overcast outside. I would be able to smell anyone within miles of us, so discovery wasn't a problem, but after all these years, I still really hated walking around sparkling. It was just a giant distraction, and for the trillionth time, I wondered about the evolutionary benefit to it.
Edward had debated with me that evolution didn't apply to us, since we were monsters. Carlisle and I had been of the opinion that we were a part of nature, therefore natural law should apply to us as well. We never settled the debate; in my experience, nobody ever convinced Edward to change his mind about anything.
Bella began to stir, so I put aside my musing and moved to snuggle with her. I moved myself under the covers and spooned around her little body, just as I did every morning. She flinched away as my arms made contact with hers, and I realized I hadn't put a shirt on. Reprimanding myself for being inconsiderate, I began to back away from her.
Even semi-sleeping, she was having none of it, immediately rolling over and pulling me back toward her. Smiling, I allowed her to move me back into place and wrap her arms around me. Her eyes remained closed, but she smiled peacefully as she shifted herself down to nuzzle her head against my bare chest.
Her warmth seeped into me as her cheek rested over where my heart once beat. I played gently with strands of her hair as she lightly ran her hand up and down my arm, following the patterns etched by my scars. I cherished these quiet moments with her, and appreciated the fact that she didn't feel the need to constantly fill our time together with words and motion.
Alice had brought me peace by introducing me to the Cullen's lifestyle, but her nature was to be constantly on the move, always chatting about her next plan. I can't say that her frenetic personality ever annoyed me, but the quiet time Bella and I spent enjoying each other made me realize how much I appreciated the chance to just "be" with the woman I loved.
"What are you thinking about?" she murmured into my chest.
"I'm thinking about how much I love having you wake up like this," I said honestly. I felt her smile against my body as she rolled herself on top of me, resting in between my legs and propping her chin onto her arms over my torso.
The position was intimate, but neither of us reacted with lust, just enjoying the peace of touching each other.
"What are you thinking about?" I teased as I traced her face with my fingertip.
"I'm thinking about how much I love it that you'll leave your shirt off around me," she answered as she moved to press a chaste kiss on one of my many scars.
"You help me see myself differently," I explained, realizing I was speaking both about my physical appearance and my character. She blinked rapidly at my words, and I realized she was confused. "I used to see my scars as a constant reminder of the monster I was, like no matter what I ever did, the atrocities I committed would still be written on my skin. But thanks to you, now I see each one as a mark of what I had to go through to get to where I am."
She smiled at my words, and I felt a fleeting touch of relief from her. Either her tight rein on her emotions was relaxing, or I was getting better at recognizing the brief flashes she emitted. "Why are you feeling relief?" I asked bluntly, hoping she wouldn't get offended.
"I'm relieved that I can make you feel better, Jasper. Our relationship feels pretty one-sided sometimes, so I feel happy when I know I did something good for you."
My still heart sank as she described her perception of the balance of our relationship. Quickly but gently, I pulled her up and sat us so that we were facing each other. Her calves draped over my thighs, but her butt was on the bed. I wanted her to know that I was talking with my heart and not my dick, and that would be difficult to prove if she was sitting on my hard on.
"Never think you don't give to me," I said urgently, taking her chin in one hand. "You being here, with me, loving me, gives me something I never felt before, Bella. I know I give you money, buy you food, take you on trips; but if you take all that shit away, I know it would still be you and me, sitting together, loving each other. I know if you could, you'd buy me the world on a silver platter, but I don't want the world, I just want you. You see me in a way no one else has ever seen me, and the reflection of that in your eyes is the greatest gift you could ever give me," I whispered, locking my eyes with hers.
Sure enough, her brown eyes shone with love, admiration and respect, a combination I had never been on the receiving end of, prior to finding Bella. I felt her emotional shield drop a little before she hit me with a wave of pure joy and love. I closed my eyes, just enjoying the rush of her feelings. She grasped my hands in hers, linking our fingers, laughing softly as she moved.
"What?" I asked, keeping my eyes shut.
"I think I'm making you high," she said smugly.
I grinned widely at her words, and she laughed again.
"Yep, you're definitely buzzed," she teased, as her stomach began to growl loudly. I opened my eyes and raised an eyebrow.
"Hungry, are we?" I teased. Blushing prettily, she nodded slightly. "Then get your ass out of bed and cook something, Bella," I ordered with a laugh. She rolled her eyes at me and flipped me off before hopping out of bed and heading into the bathroom.
I made my way into the kitchen and got the coffee pot going, greeting her with a steaming cup when she joined me. Smiling her thanks, she pressed a kiss to one of my knuckles as she carefully took the mug from my hand.
"What's on the breakfast menu today?" I asked idly as she sorted through the shopping bags, eventually grabbing a box and pulling it out.
"Just a breakfast bar, I think," she answered absently as she opened the box and unwrapped one. I eyed it as she bit into it. It smelled sweet, but it was relatively small, and I knew there was no way it would hold her through the morning. I knew she was unaware of it, but she still had a tendency not to eat too much at one time, as if she was worrying about having enough later on. It was one of the reasons she was still a touch too thin, in my opinion.
Stalking over to her, I grabbed the offending prepackaged breakfast bar and tossed it aside. "Sorry, Baby, that won't cut it today," I said gruffly. Her eyes grew wide at my actions, but before she could speak, I ordered her out of the way. "Sit down at the bar and wait while I cook you a REAL breakfast."
She began backing up to the barstools, but her expression was hesitant. "Are you sure that's a good idea, Jasper?" she began. "It's probably been awhile since you cooked, and I can really just eat another breakfast bar if it would make you feel better."
"I don't want to hear anymore about that unappetizing thing," I snapped. "I am cooking you eggs and bacon, something I managed to do over an open fire many times when I was human. I'm sure I can handle it on state of the art appliances," I grumbled, insulted at her lack of faith.
"Jasper, I'm sure you were the Iron Chef of the Confederate Army," she shot back, "but that was a long time ago, and a stove is a lot different than a campfire, so make sure you pay attention, because burned bacon fucking stinks!"
Her words were sharp, but her smile was sweet as she primly crossed her legs and waited for me to begin. Thankfully, my vampire mind was able to handle the challenge of the fancy stove, and before long I was able to shove a plate of eggs and bacon with a side of toast in front of her.
She tasted cautiously at first, but after a bite, she dug in eagerly, finishing it all in no time. "You really were the Iron Chef, back then, weren't you?" she teased as she stood to rinse her plate.
"No, nothing like that," I answered with a small laugh. "My mama made sure I knew my way around a cooking fire, that's all."
"Well, she taught you right, Mr. Whitlock," Bella replied. "Those were some damn fine eggs! I didn't know you had it in you!" she teased. "Now, what's on the agenda for today?" she asked, giving the evil eye to the shopping bags from the outfitter.
"Well," I drawled out slowly. "I was hoping I could convince you to come on a little hike with me." Her eyes darted to the windows, taking in the deep snow covering the ground.
"You want ME, to go on a hike, in THAT?" she sputtered, waving her hands wildly. "Jasper, that is just a disaster waiting to happen. I know I'm able to walk on even surfaces without falling on my face now, but let's not take things overboard. There's like a foot of snow out there, not to mention ice. I'm guaranteed to at least sprain an ankle…"
I cut in before she could continue. "Calm down, Sweets. I would never let anything happen to you," I interrupted in a soothing voice. "Listen to your options before you give up on the entire idea," I urged as I walked over to stand next to her. She sighed heavily, but leaned into me as I wrapped an arm around her.
"Option one is to go snowshoeing. I bought us each a set yesterday. You're on top of the snow, no ice, and I'll be with you the whole time." She opened her mouth to begin protesting, but I interrupted her again. "Option two," I said firmly, "is that I do the hiking and you just hitch a ride. I bought plenty of outdoor gear, so you'll stay warm enough, and there's zero risk of injury."
She sighed again before she answered. "Okay, Jasper, I'll go piggy back. The snowshoe idea was cute, but I think it's a little ambitious. But I'm holding you to the zero injury thing. I'd better not end up with an icicle in my eye or something."
I ignored her grumbling and tossed a bag full of winter gear at her. She headed upstairs and made quick work of getting ready. In no time, she was decked out in snow pants, heavy boots and her coat, as well as a hat, scarf and big mittens. She called herself the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man, but I thought she looked adorable.
My own gear was limited to a light set of snow pants and some good boots in addition to my heavy coat. Just because the cold wouldn't bother me didn't mean I wanted to walk around with ice cold pants all day. Leading her to the door, I turned to kiss her gently.
"Thanks for coming out with me, Bella. I think you'll be glad you did," I said softly as I helped her hop up on my back. "Just let me know if you need me to slow down or take a break."
"Will do," she answered softly as she rested her head on my back. With that I opened the door and walked us out into the pristine winter air. I strode easily through the snow drifts to a small trail not far from the house that I had located while hunting yesterday. The snow wasn't as deep on the trail, so I was able to walk easily without jostling Bella around on my back.
I followed the trail higher up the hillside, enjoying the sight of snow on the tree branches. I could feel Bella moving her head around to take in the view as I walked and hoped she was enjoying the fresh air and the view. After about an hour of walking, we reached the summit.
There was a clearing on the hilltop that looked down over the lake. I spied a large rock nearby and walked over to it, allowing Bella to climb down from my back onto it. Standing on the rock brought us eye to eye, and I couldn't resist leaning in for a kiss.
She opened her mouth in response, but we kept our motions soft and gentle. We stood there kissing for several minutes before we finally released each other.
"Think you can rough it over to the edge?" I asked with humor. "I think the view will be spectacular if you're up for it."
Her eyes sparkled and her cheeks were flushed from the fresh air and kissing. "I guess I'll tough it out," she grumbled jokingly as she hopped down from the rock into my waiting arms.
I kept a tight hold of her as we walked over to the edge of the clearing, but she didn't need my assistance. We stood side by side and took in the white landscape. Our cabin was visible to the right and the lake stretched out to the left. We stood there admiring nature in silence for quite awhile.
"Beautiful," she finally whispered, her breath steaming in the air. "It's good to be outside," she admitted, "Even if it is like fifteen degrees below zero."
"Chill out, drama queen," I replied with a smile. "It's actually fifteen degrees above zero. Downright balmy, if you ask me."
"Says the vampire," she snapped back, softening her harsh tone with a wink. I knew she wasn't really complaining, but her lips were turning pale and I noticed her shivering periodically as we stood there.
"Point taken," I sighed dramatically as I scooped her up onto my back again. She giggled softly and pressed a kiss onto the back of my head as I turned to walk us back to the cabin. I picked up the pace as I felt her shivering increase.
"Doing okay?" I asked, concerned that she was miserable.
"Chill, drama queen," she sassed back. "I'm cold, but I'll survive until we make it back."
"Okay, tough girl. No turning into a popsicle without telling me." She laughed and we returned to an easy silence as I made quick work of getting her back inside. We dumped all of our snowy gear in the convenient mudroom and I scooped her up and carried her into the living room, placing her on the couch and wrapping a soft blanket around her.
I quickly lit a fire in the fireplace and went into the kitchen to put the tea kettle on for her. While I waited for the water to boil, I joined her on the couch in front of the fire. Her color looked better and she was no longer shivering.
"You were a trooper, Bella. Thanks for coming with me, I'm glad I got to share that with you," I admitted as I sat down beside her, careful not to disturb her blanket cocoon.
"I'm glad I went, Jasper. It was worth seeing," she said quietly. The water boiled and I quickly made her a sweet cup of tea. She sipped on it as we sat in front of the fire, just enjoying being near each other. Her transition into sleep was so gradual, I almost missed it. I carefully stood and tucked her in more securely.
I got dressed to go out again and left her a note that I was out hunting. I wasn't even thirsty, but it was a precaution I wanted to take before I touched Bella tonight. I hoped she got a good rest during her little nap, because I planned on keeping her up late.
BPOV
I woke suddenly, feeling that groggy, anxious, nap-wasn't-quite-long-enough sensation. Thinking a drink might snap me out of it, I stood up to head into the kitchen. I noticed the slip of paper fall off of my blanket and reached to pick it up. Jasper's neat handwriting informed me he was hunting and would be back soon.
I smiled at that information, since I knew the fact that he was hunting again meant he had physical plans for us tonight. I was more than ready; it was time for us to be connected in every way. He already shared my heart, if I had my way, he would share my body tonight.
Padding into the kitchen, I grabbed a soda from the fridge, feeling better immediately as the sugar and caffeine hit my system. The sun was already low in the sky, the winter day already waning. I felt stiff from sleeping on the couch and clinging to Jasper like a monkey during our hike, so I decided to check out the hot tub.
It was situated in a cedar paneled room, decked out with a full entertainment system and sound system. I flicked the stereo on and quiet classical music filled the room. I left the sound down low, not wanting to be overwhelmed with noise. Noticing the pile of thick towels within arm's reach of the tub, I realized I was all set up and quickly stripped down to get into the water, piling my hair up into a messy bun with a hair tie.
The hot water felt amazing. There were jets everywhere you could imagine and it was like getting a massage under the water. Each seating area had different features so I moved around the tub, ooing and ahhing when I found a jet that felt particularly good. I closed my eyes and sank down into the water feeling my stiffness and grogginess melt away.
"Mind if I join you?" Jasper's smooth voice echoed in the room. I opened my eyes to see him standing in the doorway, staring down at my naked body in the water.
Giving him my best sultry smirk, I cocked my head to one side. "Suit yourself," I answered carelessly.
He moved so rapidly that I couldn't really see him as he stripped and joined me in the water.
"Mmmm, nice," he hummed as he pulled me over closer to him.
I ran my hands up and down his arms, enjoying the warm feeling the water lent to him. "Mmm, I agree," I hummed back. I moved closer and straddled him on the hot tub bench, grinning at the feeling of his hard dick underneath me.
He moaned and pushed up toward me, but I knew there was no way he would allow our first time together to be fucking in a hot tub. Maybe our second or third time, though, I thought to myself as I leaned in to kiss him.
We spent endless minutes just kissing each other in the hot water. In unspoken agreement, neither of us tried to escalate our passion, despite the intimate way I was straddling him. Finally he broke off to nuzzle my neck.
"You're getting really pruny, Bella. How long were you in here before I got back, anyway?"
I shrugged absently. "Awhile. I guess I should get out and rinse the chlorine off."
"Sounds good. I'll make you a sandwich while you shower," he answered as he stood up to climb out of the water. I allowed myself to blatantly ogle his perfect pale body as he moved to grab a towel. The steam had dampened his hair, turning it darker and weighing it down into his eyes and the water droplets accented the perfect contours of his torso.
I stood up and stepped out beside him, pressing myself up against him, shivering at his already cool temperature. Standing on my tiptoes, I pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw before I literally forced myself to take a towel, wrapping myself in it and walking out of the room to shower. I had waited this long to have sex with him, rinsing the stinky chlorine off my skin would only make it better.
Ten minutes later I joined him in the kitchen, noticing that he smelled like soap. He must have rinsed off in one of the other bathrooms. I ate my sandwich quickly and quietly, staring back at him as he watched me intently.
After I finished, I got up and rinsed my plate off while he remained seated at the table. I turned to face him again as I finished. We locked eyes for a moment, neither of us making a sound. My heart began to pound as desire for him rushed over me.
In an instant, he was in front of me, pressing me into the counter as he ravaged my mouth with his. Moaning, I leaned into the kiss and slid my leg up to wrap around his waist, pressing my center against his. He brought his hands under my ass and I wrapped the other leg around him tightly. He thrust briefly against me, sending heat through me. In a flash, we were in our bedroom, on the edge of the bed as I straddled him.
He tugged my shirt over my head and began palming my bare breasts. I leaned my body back, thrusting myself toward him. Taking the hint, he brought his tongue to the underside of my breast, licking slowly up to my nipple before taking it into my mouth. He began to lap it gently before he sucked in earnest.
I mewed in pleasure as he increased the suction and began to pinch my other nipple. He used the perfect pressure and I felt myself growing wetter and wetter as I pressed my tits further into him and rubbed my core against his hard dick.
He growled quietly and spun us around so that I was lying on the edge of the bed, my legs hanging over the edge. He unbuttoned my jeans and tugged them off, raising an eyebrow but not commenting on my lack of undergarments.
His amber eyes grew dark as he leaned down and lifted my legs up and open. He slowly leaned his face toward my center and my breath hitched as I waited for him to make contact. His cool lips pressed against my hot clit and he pressed a gentle kiss against it as he slid one finger into me.
"So wet for me," he whispered against my wet mound. I moaned and bucked myself up and down on his cold finger inside me. He hummed against my folds as he added another finger inside and began to rub hard against my nub. I felt the pleasure begin to build low in my body and I moved wildly against his fingers.
He turned his fingers slightly, hitting me just where I needed to be hit, while he kept tonguing my clit. The sensation set me over the edge and I came, screaming his name over and over. He let me come down gently, slowly withdrawing his fingers and pressing one more kiss against my wet lips.
I sat myself up and tugged his shirt off, ghosting my hands over his perfect chest. He allowed me to pull him to standing in front of me, and I began to unbutton the fly of his jeans. I tugged them down, giving him a raised eyebrow when I saw he was going commando as well.
He stepped gracefully out of his jeans and I ran my hand along his hipbone down to his perfect dick. He hissed as I stroked him firmly, spreading the moisture leaking from the tip down his shaft. I raised my eyes to meet his, and we froze for a moment as we stared at each other.
We needed no words, our bodies and eyes spoke for us as he gently lifted me back and laid me down on the bed. He hovered over me and I could feel his cold dick against my abdomen. He looked at me, his eyes heavy with desire as he kissed me deeply, rubbing his tongue against mine fiercely.
I felt him adjust his position and closed my eyes as the tip of his dick rubbed my entrance. "Yes," I moaned quietly, my body crying out to be joined to his.
"Yes," he answered back quietly as he pushed in and slid slowly home. The sensation of being filled by him was beyond anything I had imagined. Exquisitely slow, he continued pressing himself into me as I fought to remain still, knowing this was something we both needed to get accustomed to.
"Oh God," he moaned as he finally sheathed himself fully in me. His cold dick felt like glorious fire inside me as my wet walls stretched around him. Slowly I pressed the small of my back down into the bed, both of us moaning as he slid even deeper inside me.
I opened my eyes to find his intently fixed on my face. We kept eye contact as he slowly began to pull out of me. Reluctant to lose contact, I involuntarily thrust up against him. He closed his eyes briefly at the sensation and bit his bottom lip as he pushed back into me, using slightly more pressure this time.
Unable to hold still any longer, I brought my legs up and moaned as it changed the angle of his penetration. He began to thrust over and over again, gradually gaining speed as my hips bucked against him.
I panted his name over and over as I felt myself begin to tighten inside. The look of him focused on bringing me pleasure, his hair in his eyes, his expression intent, was breathtaking. I felt one of his hands on my ass, lifting me slightly as he thrust into me, and I went over the edge. He kept moving perfectly into me as I came on his dick, knowing exactly what I needed to keep the pleasure coming in waves.
Keening his name, I lifted my hips frantically against him. He released my ass and braced his arms around me, closing his eyes as he picked up speed slightly. "Bella, Bella, Bella," he breathed out in a chant. He groaned so deeply that I felt it in my own chest as his face went slack. I felt a cold rush as he emptied into me. The change in temperature and pace set off another orgasm and I screamed his name again as he moaned mine.
Finally he stilled, and opened his eyes again. "Beautiful," he whispered as he drew a hand through my tangled hair.
"Breathtaking," I whispered back as I mirrored his motion in his own soft hair.
I groaned in loss as he withdrew himself from me. He immediately looked at me in concern. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?" he asked in a rush.
Shaking my head quickly to reassure him, I answered. "No, I'm perfect. Nothing hurts, it was perfect and I can't wait to do it again," I babbled frantically, suddenly afraid that he was going to tell me it was too risky to have sex again.
His face softened at my words and he picked me up and sat back with me straddling him. "It's okay, Bella," he reassured me. "I'm just checking on you since it was the first time. I expected you to be a little tender, honestly. You're small and I'm not," he said with a shrug.
My body relaxed as I realized he wasn't backing off. "Don't worry, Sweets. I want to do that over and over again. You'll probably get sick of it eventually," he deadpanned as I climbed off of him to start cleaning up.
"You're probably right," I deadpanned back. "Good thing we both like to read, I guess."
"Not fucking likely, Bella," he growled at me as he yanked me back into his lap. Smiling, I let myself melt against his cool chest and tucked my head under his chin. An uncomfortable thought crossed my mind, and I couldn't shake it no matter how I tried.
Jasper noticed my mood change and immediately moved me to look into my eyes. "What's bothering you?" he asked simply.
I managed to keep eye contact with him, but I couldn't control my blush as I forced myself to answer. "Umm, this is so cliché, but, really, I'm just kind of wondering if it was any good for you," I stuttered weakly. "You know, since you have to be so careful, I just worried that it maybe didn't feel as good as you're used to, or…"
He didn't allow me to finish the sentence before he claimed my lips in a passionate kiss. "Never think it, Bella," he answered, re-using his words from this morning. "That was the most amazing sex I've ever had. I can't describe how your heat feels around my dick, there just aren't words for it, Bella. It more than compensates for the extra focus I need not to hurt you. It was perfect, because it was me and you, end of story."
His words reassured me, and I forced myself to end the train of thought. I snuggled into him again, my hands tracing his scars absently. He wrapped his arms around me and held me wordlessly for a few minutes before we both became aware of the sticky mess we were sitting in. We laughed together as he stood us up and walked us to the shower. We playfully washed each other and had a pillow fight as we changed the sheets.
We spent the rest of the night laughing and making love before I finally succumbed to sleep. The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of laughter and love. He made me breakfast again and drug me outside to ice skate. I only lasted a half an hour, since even with his constant help, I just couldn't stay upright. Despite the failure, I enjoyed the experience as our laughter echoed through the cold air.
We had sex as often as my human body could handle in between eating and sleeping. He grew more and more comfortable with his control inside my body, trying new positions and becoming less restrained with me. Everything he did to me was pure bliss, and I enjoyed the freedom to touch him back, learning his body as he learned mine.
Too soon, we were packing up the Jeep and heading back to town. We exchanged vehicles and got back on the road to reality. My heart remained light and I had fun flipping the channels on XM, singing out loud when I knew songs and dancing in the seat to ones I didn't. My happiness must have been reaching him, because I had never seen him smile so much. He constantly held my hand, and sometimes sang along with me.
As we pulled onto a larger highway, his cell phone beeped as it returned to coverage. I handed it to him absently, knowing his vampire mind could handle driving while on the phone. I noticed him frowning as he looked at the screen. He hit send and frowned more as he apparently listened to a voicemail.
"Something wrong?" I asked as my mind raced with possibilities for disaster.
"It's okay, Bella. Carlisle called several times and left a message. He and Esme would like very much to see you as soon as possible," he answered me in a calm tone.
My heart sank as I processed his words. My head began to shake "no" without my volition. "No way, no way," I repeated over and over. "I don't want to see them all, have them judge me, judge us!" Panic began to well up in my chest, and it felt difficult to fill my lungs with air. My vision started to fade to grey and I absently noted the feeling of tears on my cheeks.
Suddenly a blast of cold air hit me as Jasper opened my door and scooped me into his arms. He sat us down on the edge of the highway, my shaking body astride his lap. "Breathe with me, Bella," he murmured into my ear, as he took slow even breaths. "Look at me and breathe," he repeated over and over, gently rocking us as my body began to follow his lead and oxygen began to return to my brain.
"Are you with me now?" he asked quietly. I nodded my head affirmatively and he continued rocking us as he rubbed my back. "I told you, Bella. You don't want to see them, you don't see them. I don't think Carlisle would ever force himself on you, but if he tries, I'll take you away. Trust me, I will never let anyone make you do something you don't want to."
I shook my head against his chest and reached my hands up to touch his hair, drawing comfort from the softness. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I know that and I do trust you. I guess I just got too used to the peace up there, and when I thought about seeing them, I just panicked," I admitted, deeply concerned with my inability to control my reaction to the bad news.
I moved myself gently away from him and stood up, wondering for a moment what the other drivers on the highway must be thinking of us. "I'm good now, Jasper. Let's just get home." I knew my voice was unnaturally flat, but I hoped he would let it go. I felt so torn between my desire to open up to him and my desire to build my walls back up to protect myself. The fact that I had needed to depend on Jasper to get me out my panic made me feel weak and defenseless.
We got buckled in and he pulled us out onto the highway. We continued to make good time, but the light mood was completely gone. I didn't even hear the radio as I stared at the passing scenery, lost in my thoughts. Before I knew it, we were back in Manhattan, pulling into the garage at our building.
I noticed him watching me with concern as we unloaded the car, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I began unpacking my bags, glad to have an excuse to keep me busy. I started a load of laundry, gasping as I turned and ran right into Jasper. He reached out and steadied me before leading me gently to the couch.
"Please, let me in," he said earnestly. "I can see something is upsetting you, and it's killing me that you won't talk to me about it. Don't run away from me, Bella. Let me in." His amber eyes drilled into mine, and I saw the self doubt that he tried to hide. The years of being considered the weak link in the family had left their mark, just as his years with Maria had.
Suddenly, my feelings of weakness seemed silly. I was ashamed that I was letting my habit of isolation make Jasper feel insecure and shut out. "I'm so sorry, Jasper," I choked out. "I do trust you, I trust you with everything I am. I trust you to love me, I trust you not to hurt me, and I trust you not to leave me," I continued, pouring my faith in him into my words, hoping he was picking it up.
"That panic attack really threw me, and I started feeling like I depend on you too much, like I needed to pull back a little to protect myself." He frowned at my words, so I leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "It was wrong, I see that now. It hurt you, and I'm so sorry. I know that it's okay to rely on you, because I know you'll always be there. I don't need to do it on my own anymore."
His body relaxed at my words. He slid his head down past mine to lay it on my shoulder and I immediately reached up to run my fingers soothingly through his hair. "I will never get tired of touching your hair," I said absently as I continued the motion. Without answering, he shifted us so that I was reclining against the couch and he was lying on his back against my chest.
His silence concerned me, but I decided to let it be for awhile longer. Continuing to comb my fingers through his hair, I allowed him to move my free hand up to his face. He pressed a kiss into my palm before sliding it over his cool cheek.
"I thought I was losing you," he said softly. "I looked in your eyes, and I could almost see you running away in your head, and I thought I was losing you."
I wrapped my legs around his waist and curled my upper body over his to bring my face alongside his head. My heart broke at the knowledge that I had caused him to doubt us. I needed the right words to reassure him that he was worth staying for.
"You will never lose me, Jasper Whitlock. You will never lose me, because you are strong enough for the both of us. If I get weak and try to run, you'll pull me back, just like you did tonight. I wish I could promise you that I'll never shut down on you again, but that wouldn't be honest. The shit I've been through changed me, and it will take time to move past it. I'm going to keep working on allowing myself to depend on you, but I know if I slip, you'll be there to catch me. I trust you to hang on when I can't."
He slowly sat up, and I sighed with relief when I saw that his face was relaxed again. "I will never lose you, Bella," he began, determination filling his words. "I will never lose you because I will never let go."
"Good," I whispered, cuddling against him for a moment. "Now let me up, Whitlock. I'm a working woman now, and I need to get ready for my first day," I ordered as I pressed a kiss to the underside of his neck.
"No way," he growled, tightening his arms around me. "I'm not letting go."
"Oh, that's a shame, Jasper. I was thinking that if I got my stuff together, we'd have time to knock boots before bed, but if I'm tied up here all night, it'll never happen."
Instantly we were standing in front of the couch as he tugged me toward the bedroom. "Did you really just say 'knock boots', Bella?" he asked incredulously as we walked.
"Yup," I replied as I patted his ass. "I sure did. If you ever want to knock mine again, you'll shut up about it, especially around Emmett," I ordered playfully.
"Yes, ma'am," he drawled out, his eyes twinkling. "I would never consider mentioning that to Emmett, 'cause yours are the only boots I want to knock."
"Damn straight, Cowboy," I drawled back at him as we reached the bedroom. "Your boots are mine, mine are yours. Happily ever after, in boot knocking paradise."
He laughed outright at me, scooping me up and tossing me onto the bed, my work clothes forgotten. His eyes shone with humor and love, and I knew we were alright.
AN- Okay, don't kill me, we all know they had sex in the hot tub at some point during the weekend! I just couldn't do three lemons in one chapter, and honestly we REALLY need to get back to the storyline at some point. Poor Andy is being pimped out by vicious drug lords, we need to go check on him! If I get some good reviews, maybe I'll try an outtake of the hot tub (I'm shameless!)
My dear MM- Thank you for loving me even when I am a pot smoking porn star being held hostage by bad Japanese science fiction. My boots are yours, just name the time and place ;* I will e mail you a copy of the t shirt ;p
Now, grab a cigarette and light up (stop screaming, this is virtual, no cancer!). We're smoking one in the bunker in honor of the conclusion to Master of the Universe. I once wrote in a review of this fic that I would read about her Bella and Edward brushing their teeth in the nursing home, and I meant it. If you don't know it, go now and read it, you won't be sorry.
New fic that I love: Bourbon and Tea by zigster. Bella and Jasper, AH, with the awesomest bad tattoo I've ever read about!
Thank you all for reading! Love you so!