BANG! Jenny's eyes flew open and she looked wildly around the room, searching for the source of the gunshot. Her breathing began to slow when she realized there was no danger in the room. It must've been in her dreams. Propping herself up on one elbow, Jenny tried to shake the memories.

Gibbs' hand rested on her shoulder. "Jenny?" he asked sleepily.

Her first reaction was to slap his hand away, but then she rolled over and buried her face in his chest. Gibbs held her, whispering nonsensical words of comfort and love, not knowing yet what was wrong.

"I hate this," she muttered.

"What?" he asked, awake and aware now.

"That I need the light on and the door locked to sleep. That sleep is interrupted by these crappy dreams." She sat up in frustration, tossing one of the throw pillows from their bed across the room. Huffing, she crossed her arms and glared at the wall.

Gibbs knew he shouldn't laugh, nothing she was going through was funny, but he loved this, the side of her that no one else got to see. The side that threw things when she was mad, collected and named stuffed animals, made cookies at ten o'clock at night when she was bored, and loved romantic movies, walks on the beach, and watching thunder storms.

Jenny Gibbs was a fantastic lover, a treasure as a wife, and his best friend. She had killer green eyes, lips to die for, gorgeous red hair, and the brightest smile he'd ever seen. He loved to have it directed at him, especially when one of them had been away for a few days. Being apart was not one of their strong suites. He'd have to remember that.

Leaning up on one arm, Gibbs fingered the curls hanging down her back. "What was the dream about Jen?" he asked, hoping that peaceful sleep would come if she talked about it.

She dropped her face into her hands. "What else?" she sighed wearily. "Being there...with him. Being abused. Waiting to die, waiting to live, waiting for a rescue I hoped would come. Wanting to be free," she rubbed her wrists, a nervous gesture she'd picked up lately, and then laid back down beside him, putting her hand to his face, "wanting you."

Gibbs laid his hand over hers and turned his face to kiss her palm. "Jen...I was so afraid. Afraid we'd be too late and then you'd be lying in Autopsy and I'd never get to hold you again, or kiss you. Never tell you I love you one more time, or get to say goodbye."

"I just wanted to see you again Jethro." Then she frowned at him. "We hate goodbye, why would you want to say it?"

Gibbs sighed. "Because there wasn't one last time."

Jenny closed her eyes. Paris. "I'm..." she started to say for the hundredth time, but Gibbs' finger on her lips wouldn't let the word out.

"You don't have to apologize every time I talk about Paris Jen. It's over, it's done, I forgave you. The past is part of what makes us who we are. Ours drove us apart but it also brought us back together again. I could never regret that. Never. Besides, we had a lot of good times in Paris too. No matter what the end looked like, those I still want to remember."

"But I do regret it. I have so much to make up for," Jenny said sadly, looking down at the bed.

Gibbs gripped her shoulder. "No. Let it go. Look at me Jen," he commanded. "3 am may not be the best time to settle this but it needs to end now." He shook his head. "Don't you trust me Jenny? That I know my own heart? Don't you believe me when I say I forgive you, I love you, it's over?"

Jenny sighed. "I believe that you are letting me off too easy, that someday you're going to wake up and realize you got the raw end of the deal and resent that you are now stuck with the person who broke your heart in the first place. I fear the day you realize this was a mistake," two tears escaped from under her eyelashes, "that it's not worth it, that you don't want me anymore."

She started crying again, but Gibbs was having a hard time processing what she'd just said. Did she really believe all that? "Jen..." he started.

"Everyone I ever loved left me Jethro. Mom, Dad, Paul," she listed them off, mentioning the first guy she'd ever fallen in love with, "why not you too?" she demanded, eyes sparking.

Gibbs said the first thing that came to mind. "Because I love you and I'm not letting go, you can't push me that far away. Because I need you like the air - for years it was so hard to breathe without you here. Because you have become my life," he traced her tears with his thumb, "and I would do anything for you Jen, anything," he insisted, wanting to make her believe it. "And plus," he lifted her hand, kissing each knuckle, "I promised you forever Jen, and I keep my promises."

He put his hand behind her head and guided her mouth to his. Tender, loving, not going anywhere - Gibbs tried to put it all into that kiss. Jenny sought his touch eagerly and responded, kissing him back, laying on his chest so his back pressed into the bed. When she finally pulled away, Gibbs could taste the saltiness of tears on her lips.

"Oh gosh Jethro, I've missed you," she breathed.

Gibbs pulled her into a hug and lay there with his arms around her. Finally he kissed her forehead.

"Get some sleep Jenny," he encouraged her, "I'll keep the bad dreams away."

She brushed back a piece of silver hair on his forehead. "I know you'll try," she smiled forlornly and laid her head down, closing her eyes.

Gibbs stayed awake awhile longer, wishing they could skip work tomorrow and just stay here like this. He hoped tomorrow would be peaceful for Jenny and that if it wasn't, he'd be there to hold her if the pieces started falling apart.

NCIS

No matter how close they'd been in the middle of the night, Jenny wasn't the same when they woke up. She jumped when he said 'good morning', as if she'd forgotten he was there, and hurried off to the bathroom with barely a look at him. Gibbs sighed. Here we go again. All this back and forth, up and down stuff with Jenny's moods and emotions and progress was taxing both to his patience and his own emotions. He just wanted things back to normal. Not for a day or a couple of hours, but for several days, maybe a week. What would that even look like? he wondered.

Gibbs wished normal was hard to remember so he wouldn't miss it so much. But he vividly remembered what life had been like with Jenny before. Would life always be this different, always revolving around before and after? He laid on the bed, waiting for his turn in the shower, unable to muster the motivation to go downstairs and start the coffee. Noemi would be in soon, but he wasn't even sure he wanted breakfast this morning. He missed last night. He missed hugging and holding her and healing the deep hurts still leftover from Paris. Truly, bringing closure to Jenny's fears and insecurities had also worked to finally heal the last lingering scars in his own heart. Would this next challenge in their lives together bring new scars? He only hoped he was strong enough to hold it all together.

When Jenny emerged from the steamy bathroom in just her towel, she was surprised to see her husband in their room. Normally he would've been downstairs already. She sighed. Jenny hoped he wasn't having a bad day already too, not sure she could handle that on top of everything else right now. Her headache was back this morning, along with that feeling she hated, the one that made her recoil at the sound of a man's voice and shrink back from being touched. She didn't want to shy away from her husband again, but this feeling was something she couldn't control, and it made her agitated as well.

Grabbing her clothes, Jenny hurried back into the bathroom, shutting the door. She came out several minutes later and directed a tight smile at the bed.

"All yours," she told Gibbs.

He sighed. "Thanks," and got up.

Jenny waited until she heard the water running and the metal rings on the shower curtain sliding along the rod. Then she opened the door quietly and picked up her hair dryer, clearing a spot on the fogged up mirror before using it on her hair. In the shower, Gibbs was surprised to hear Jenny's hair dryer running. Last time when she'd been like this, they practically had to be in separate rooms for her to be comfortable. Maybe this time would be different, but if it was, did that mean all the rules were changed? He was having a hard time keeping up.

Gibbs didn't stay in the shower long, but Jenny was already gone from the room when he got out and dried off. When he went out into their room the wrinkles on the bed were smoothed out from where they lay last night, and the extra blankets refolded and put back in the closet. Gibbs took a deep breath. The scent of Jenny's perfume still hung in the air. It was one of the reasons he always knew she was there. No matter how big the room, the smell of her perfume always reached him.

As he was pulling his shirt over his head, Gibbs noticed something laying beside his badge and gun on the bureau. Curious, he reached for the folded piece of paper. The words he read inside told him just how hard Jenny was trying.

Not okay today. I'm sorry. J.

NCIS

"Got a case Boss," Tony said as soon as Gibbs was within hearing distance. He held up a piece of paper with the address on it while strapping on his gun. Tony tossed the keys to McGee. "Probie, gas the truck." Gibbs raised his eyebrows at the senior agent. "Oh...uh, sorry Boss," he covered, not wanting to get asked who put him in charge.

Gibbs just shrugged and nodded at McGee, who hurried off towards the garage. The boss turned his eyes back to Tony as they headed for the elevator. "What do we got?"

Ziva jumped in before Tony could open his mouth. "Sailor's car found in a lake in Virginia..."

"With the sailor still inside!" Tony interrupted to add. The elevator doors slid closed, cutting off his next comment from the rest of the agents on the floor. "Oh, this is just like that movie..."

The drive to the crime scene was quiet, as it always was when Gibbs drove.

McGee was remembering his three hour phone call with Abby last night. She'd called to "keep him company" while he wrote, the deadline for his next book coming up soon. So they'd stayed on the phone together, sometimes talking and sometimes not. Abby had been polishing her coffin and organizing her death metal CD collection while they talked.

Ziva was still puzzling about the night she and Tony had taken Abby and McGee out to celebrate. At first, as things were happening, she'd thought she imagined it. But she could've sworn that Tony's hand had brushed her leg more than just one accidental time during the evening, that he'd leaned a little too close to laugh at one of her idiomatic mistakes, that his foot had grazed her ankle under the table as he changed positions. Only the greatest control had kept her from elbowing him in the face. That and the fact that she couldn't be absolutely sure how much was on purpose (if any), how much was an accident, and how much was alcohol induced madness.

And Gibbs' mind was going back to that morning, in the car with Jenny on their way to work. It seemed that each car ride was different. Today had been different from the strained drive to his house over the weekend just as that ride had been different from the night they'd gone home together and held hands the whole way.

There was no holding hands today, no shared glances, no words exchanged. Jenny seemed withdrawn inside herself again, and though his eyes had frequently strayed to her apprehensive posture, he wasn't sure she'd unglued her eyes from the window the whole time they were in the car. Because of her note this morning, he knew she was aware that something had changed again, but Gibbs didn't actually think she could do much about it. It was like a mood that gripped her and wouldn't let go. He wondered if anything would change by the time they got back to the office today.

For once Ducky and Jimmy arrived at the crime scene just a minute or two after they did, no getting lost or taking the wrong turn or forgetting the map. The Marines who had found the body during a routine training exercise in the lake this morning had known better than to touch the body before the ME arrived. Petty Officer Third Class Mitchell Wright still sat in the driver's seat of his car, head hanging forward and eyes open, held in place by the seatbelt he was wearing.

"Time of death, Duck," Gibbs demanded as soon as the medical examiner set foot inside the crime scene.

"Jethro," Dr. Mallard pointed out, "would you kindly let me meet the deceased before you begin to require answers to all of the pertinent questions?"

Gibbs chuckled but did not make any move to apologize or take back his question. He turned to the team who stood watching him.

"Tony," he pointed, "take..."

"Take witness statements and find out if and how they knew the petty officer. On it Boss."

"Ziva..."

"Photograph and sketch the scene."

"McGee..." Gibbs began, but the probationary agent was the only one who didn't finish his sentence for him.

"Uh...uh..."

"Perimeter search McGee."

"Right. I knew that. Got it Boss."

The three agents veered off in different directions, bent on completing their assigned tasks.

"Time of death was between 12 and 18 hours ago Jethro," Ducky finally came to the man in charge to answer his first question.

"Cause?"

Ducky rolled his eyes. "For goodness sake's Jethro, I won't know a thing more until we get him into Autopsy."

"Then what are you standing around here for, Doctor?"

Ducky chose to ignore his old friend's sarcasm and turned to look for his assistant. "Mr. Palmer!" he called. "Will you please bring..."

"Bringing the gurney now Doctor," Jimmy replied, wrestling the metal stretcher down the shallow, grassy incline.

"Do you get the feeling we've all been working together too long Jethro?" the doctor said as an aside, moving to help Jimmy with the body.

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee and remained silent.

"Oh Jethro," Ducky turned back and Gibbs looked at him blankly, but the look was interpreted by the older gentleman as expectant. "Will you join me for lunch today?"

Feeling surprise, Gibbs wasn't sure what to say. He and Ducky rarely went out during a case, content to enjoy their friendship at work and the occasional holiday party. Finally he settled on a compromise. "Check back with me later this week Duck, we'll see."

"Good enough," the man called cheerily, his enthusiasm in no way dampened.

Gibbs whistled shrilly and motioned for McGee, who came running up. "McGee, have this car towed back to Abby. Tell her to run every test she can think of, I want answers. Then do a background check. Get me everything you can find about Petty Officer Wright."

"On it Boss."

The rest of the team was just finishing up. Gibbs headed back to the car, trying to focus on the case and not what was going on with his wife.