Jenny was sitting in her office reviewing her schedule for the day, when the door to her office swung open and in strode her husband, two coffees in hand.

"Jen."

"Jethro."

There was silence as they stared at each other, neither one knowing quite what to say. Finally he held out one of the hot drinks.

"Coffee."

Jenny picked up the paper cup already on her desk. "Thanks, but I already have some."

"Don't need a refill?" he asked. Jenny didn't turn down coffee.

"Switched to decaf today."

His eyebrows shot up. "Decaf? Are you alright?" That was drastic.

She shrugged. "Trying to see if the headaches have something to do with the caffeine I've been living off."

"I could bring lunch," he offered.

She shook her head. "Thanks anyways."

There was no point in pushing. Barely speaking meant he didn't want to say the wrong thing and make it not talking to each other at all.

Gibbs set both drinks down on her desk and came around it, leaning against the side where she sat. He reached out his hand to brush back her hair and Jenny started, as if she hadn't seen it coming, moving with enough force to slide her chair back.

Jenny hated to look of surprise and hurt that crossed Gibbs' face. The movement or involuntary reaction, whatever it was, had surprised even her. She shook her head at him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, closing her eyes.

Gibbs waited a beat, and then grabbed the drinks and left without a work. Don't take it personally, all the advice said. She's not rejecting you, she's rejecting what she's afraid of, the psychiatrist's voice echoed. Yeah, well tell that to the look on her face, he thought grimly. The fear that popped into her eyes when he reached for her, the nervousness in her posture whenever he got too close. He was taking it personally and the rejection did hurt. Thank God there was a case to consume his attention. Maybe later would be better. Maybe not. The only way to find out was to get there.

NCIS

It was quiet in the lab, something that surprised McGee. No music playing, no forensic scientist gliding around the room and turning all the hums and beeps of her various machines into usable evidence to present to the boss. He must've just missed her. Of course, Tim could've just left the box of evidence and gone back upstairs to finish his check on their petty officer, but he would like to see her at least once at work today. She was probably in Autopsy getting blood samples from Ducky. Abby didn't mind fetching the stuff herself if Jimmy was too involved in helping the senior ME with their newest guest.

Sitting down on the stool in front of Abby's computer, he began scrolling through the list of programs, wanting to check for games. A good hand of Solitaire was always good for passing the time, as long as Gibbs didn't catch him. One name on the list caught his eyes and he scrolled back up. MorphPro? Why did Abby have the same program on her computer that Tony and Ziva used for a practical joke? Surely she wasn't helping them torment him. Abby wouldn't do that...would she? Then McGee remembered a case from several months ago, shortly after Gibbs had returned from Mexico. The MorphPro program had been on the victim's hard drive. Abby probably thought it was fun and decided to keep it. Bonus of the job.

Thinking back to the picture Tony and Ziva had left for him using that software, he felt his heart flip. Married to Abby? Yeah, he'd dreamed of that. But kids with Abby? Wow. That was a whole other level of thought that he hadn't even gotten to yet. Still, Tim wondered what it would be like to hold his own child in his arms, a product of the love he'd one day share with his wife. It was enough to make him strangely sentimental. For a moment he was glad Abby wasn't in the lab right now to catch him thinking stuff like this. Let's start with forever, he told himself, and go from there. That was enough for now.

By the time Abby waltzed into the lab a couple minute's later, McGee's mind was firmly back in reality...for now at least. But he couldn't resist giving her an unexpected kiss on the lips.

Abby pulled back from the kiss and smiled. "You're so silly McGee. You know we can do this after work too." She gave him a funny look. McGee's expression was kind of hard to interpret and she wondered what he was thinking and if he was going to share.

"I know," he shrugged. "But sometimes the unexpected is fun."

She shook her head. "I'm guessing Gibbs did not send you to the lab to kiss me. Not that I mind," she added. "So, what do you have for me?"

"Find anything interesting in the car?" he asked, handing over the paperwork for her to sign. Chain of evidence was one thing that helped their reports stand up in court. The agent who messed that up, especially after working with Gibbs, was liable to get headslapped, fired, and then re-hired again just to be stuck under Gibbs thumb until they learned their lesson. And that was not somewhere he wanted to be.

Abby grinned. "Lots of interesting stuff Tim. But you're going to have to wait and hear it with Gibbs just like the rest of the team."

"What, no preferential treatment?"

She handed back the clipboard and slid on a pair of latex gloves. "Only when we're not at work McGee. Besides, Gibbs would know and I'm not about to lose my place as the favourite. Now shoo!" She flapped her hands at him. "I have work to do!"

NCIS

The next time Gibbs saw Jenny was when she was on the walkway upstairs, apparently on her way to MTAC. As if she couldn't help it no matter what her mood, she looked down at the bullpen and caught his eyes. Deciding that the worst she could do was ignore him, Gibbs signed to her.

You okay? he asked.

Jenny stopped and shook her head sadly. She tapped her fingers together in the motion for 'no'.

What's wrong?

Don't know. Just...can't find me.

I'm sorry, he signed, wishing he could do more. He figured adding one last thing couldn't hurt. I love you.

The slightest ghost of a smile graced her lips for a second. Me too, she signed back, before turning and walking into the sealed room behind her.

Gibbs sighed, reminding himself to be thankful for the little things. At least they were communicating. McGee finally made his way back to the bullpen.

"Enjoy your break McGee?" Gibbs asked sarcastically.

Tim stopped in mid-stride on his way to his desk. "Uh...sorry Boss. Had to wait for Abby to get back to sign the chain of evidence log."

If Gibbs noticed the faint sheen of Abby's favourite red lip gloss on his probationary agent's lips, he didn't mention it. He'd probably be doing the same thing to his wife several times a day if she wasn't keeping his at arms length. Once they break Rule 12, there's just no stopping them, he grumbled silently. Taking another sip of coffee, he snapped back into action.

"Tell me about our petty officer McGee."

NCIS

Jenny paced back and forth slowly in the open space before the large screen in MTAC. It had been an hour and finally everyone was in position. All they needed was an actual sighting of their terrorist, and the mission would be a go. Minutes ticked by and she tapped her foot anxiously. This guy should be on their most wanted wall, but he was a crummy dirtbag nonetheless and deserved to go down for everything he'd accomplished in his stellar career as an enemy operative.

At last the Colonel's face came on the screen. "It's a go Director."

Jenny frowned. "I didn't see a visual Colonel."

"There's movement inside the safe house. We've got to assume it's our guy."

"There are solider's lives on the line right now Colonel," Jenny stated in a flat voice, feeling her skin get hot. "You do not move until I know that this is a sure thing."

There was a flurry of movement and excited voices behind the Colonel. "What's going on?" she asked.

"He's moving Director, we need to take him now."

Jenny felt the whole world spinning out of control. "Colonel, you cannot send our men in there until we have confirmation of the target!" Her voice was close to yelling level but she couldn't help it. He was risking men's lives, she was in charge, and he wasn't listening.

"Director, we have no choice. If Al Jahar is in there and we don't attack, we could lose him and then hundreds more will die. Is that what you want?" He didn't wait for a response from her, instead turning and giving the order. "On my count..."

"No!" Jenny tore the headphones off and threw them across the floor, angry and afraid. Then she panicked when she suddenly realized she couldn't breathe.

Jenny hurried towards the woman's restroom, her chest tight. At first she just hadn't been able to catch her breath. She'd brushed off the tech's concern and left the room. But now she couldn't even draw one deep breath and the rapid heartbeat in her chest made her feel as if she was about to faint.

Finally in the bathroom and away from the eyes of the world, Jenny leaned back against the cool wall. She held her hands out in front of them, curling them into fists. But no matter what she did, Jenny couldn't get them to stop shaking. Finding it hard to swallow, she noticed her mouth was as dry as a desert. Digging into her pocket, Jenny came upon the wooden anchor her husband had given her and she held it for comfort, rubbing her thumb over it in a constant, repetitive motion.

She clenched her jaw, trying to get control over her body back, but her muscles were locked up so tight she could barely move and her head was pounding again, making coherent thought difficult. Jenny stood facing the wall, trying to take deep breaths and focus, counting the number of times she inhaled and exhaled. Kristyn had warned her about this, but she never expected or thought that a panic attack could be this intense.

Finally her chest relaxed and her breathing slowed and she was in control again. But the panic attack had left her with a roaring headache and a muddled mind. Her hands were still shaking too, Jenny realized as if from far away, as she made her way back to her office.

"Director." Cynthia stood. "How did it go?"

Jenny looked at her assistant, having a hard time focusing, and frowned. "What?"

Cynthia looked confused. But before she could answer, Jenny waved her hand as if it was inconsequential.

"Never mind. Hold all my calls Cynthia. No more appointments for awhile. I'll be in my office. No interruptions."

For one of the first times ever, the director's assistant wished Agent Gibbs was nearby. She may not like him because he disregarded all the rules of polite society, but he was the Director's husband. And whatever was going on with her boss right now, Cynthia had a feeling he would come in handy.

Jenny thought she flipped the lock on her door when she walked into her office, but her fingers slipped off the handle so she couldn't be sure. She didn't even glance at her desk, but went straight to the small couch lined up against the far wall. Sinking down onto it, she wished she'd thought to take something for this headache. Frowning, she was suddenly confused. Was she supposed to drink more coffee if she had a headache, or less? Something should help. The pain was becoming fierce. When her cheek hit the cool material on her couch, Jenny felt relief for a moment, but only one.

The blinds were still open and the light was too bright. Even Cynthia typing at her computer outside the steel office doors sounded loud and Jenny wished for ear plugs to block out the sound. Glancing at the clock, she tried to make out the time. It was either very light outside for shortly after midnight, or it was still just barely afternoon. But she couldn't even keep her eyes open. How could she be so tired? She had a good sleep last night, didn't she?

Suddenly unsure, Jenny tried to remember, but all she could think of was how lying in Jethro's arms seemed to be the only way she could fall asleep. Maybe they should do that tonight. Or this afternoon. Oh, but wait...they weren't talking right now, were they? Was Jethro mad at her for something? It was frustrating not to be able to remember, but everything seemed difficult and Jenny just wanted to sleep, to get rid of this awful pain behind her eyes and rest without dreaming, without thinking, without anything at all.