AN-I'm so sorry this is a little late! My RL last week included my husband's birthday, Father's Day, a sex toy party and a trip to Hershey Park! Sex and candy anyone? Thanks for being patient! ;*
Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight. BUT… I totally own a Jasper action figure! Sigh, I'm thinking about trying to rip his head off and put it on the body of the Edward Eclipse action figure with the biker outfit. Jasper doesn't really do cashmere sweaters.
Speaking of owning, Mynxi totally owns me. She's my beta, and I really put her to work at the beginning of this chapter! Sorry Baby, thanks for fixing all my booboos!
Chapter Fifteen
BPOV
The first thing I became aware of was that annoying beeping sound that always seems to be present in hospitals. That thought immediately led me to remember how I had ended up in the hospital, which caused me to become aware of the pain radiating throughout my body. Everything hurt, and I mean literally everything. I noticed the cool sensation over my right hand and realized Jasper must be holding onto me.
I clenched my teeth and opened my eyes, wincing at the harsh lights. Jasper was indeed holding my hand, leaning forward onto the bed with his face pressed into the mattress near my arm. I was surprised that he didn't immediately react when I opened my eyes. My foggy brain slipped into gear, and I noticed he was murmuring something in a low tone. Gradually I realized that it was my name being repeated over and over again.
The knowledge that something was very wrong washed over me and I clenched his hand tightly with mine. He immediately looked up at me and I gasped as I took in his face. His eyes were pitch black, the skin under them almost bruised looking. I remembered Jessica Stanley once describing him as looking like he was in pain back at Forks High, and the man beside me fit her description aptly.
He didn't speak, but his face told me everything I needed to know. Desperation and fear were written all over him as he fought his thirst.
"Shit, Jasper, your eyes," I gasped as I began to move toward him. Fighting the pain, I reached for the button to call the nurse. "We've got to get you out of here," I stated, forcing myself to remain calm. I seemed to be in one piece, but something told me that getting out of here was going to be a battle. As I spoke, he moaned softly and pressed a soft kiss into my palm.
My heart broke for him as I could literally see how much he was hurting and how hard he was fighting his urge to feed. I reached up with my free hand to touch his face.
"Don't worry, Jasper. I'm here, you'll be okay," I said, pouring faith into every word. "We can do this." He closed his eyes and pressed his face into my hand. Hoping it would help, I centered myself and tried to project my faith in him toward him. He made no observable reaction, but I felt better for at least trying to ease his pain. My mind raced as I pushed the call button again impatiently.
Finally responding to my call, the nurse walked into the room, beaming a smile at me as she entered. "Glad you decided to join us, you had your fella here worried," she said happily as she approached me and started messing with my IV. "How are you feeling?"
Jasper literally froze during her approach and I could see it was taking all of his will not to attack her. Forcing myself to remain calm and in control, I answered quickly. "I feel good thank you. Before you get too busy with all this stuff," I began, motioning at the IV pole, "I'm going to need you to start the process for discharging me immediately."
Her eyes widened at my words and she began to shake her head. "Now Miss Sanders, you have to realize you've been seriously injured and unconscious for more than twelve hours. The doctors are going to insist that you be monitored for at least another day before you go home."
"Believe me, I do appreciate the fact that I have had the shit kicked out of me," I responded in an even tone. "However, that doesn't change the fact that I want to be discharged, as is my right. I know you're just trying to do your job, but right now, you need to get the ball rolling if you want me to wait around to fill out the 'Against Medical Advice' paperwork."
"Miss Sanders, I can't do any of that without orders from your doctor," she answered in a disapproving tone. She darted her eyes over to Jasper who was still pressing my hand to his face. "Does this have anything to do with the fact that your boyfriend is jonesin' for something? Because if it does, then he needs to go do what he needs to do and let us take care of you here."
Jasper opened his eyes at her words and looked at me. "She's right Bella, you're hurt and you need to stay here to let them take care of you." His voice was a hoarse whisper, almost unrecognizable from the smooth baritone I was accustomed to.
Turning back to the nurse who was still glaring at Jasper, I spoke sharply. "The man you are looking at saved my life and he is not a drug addict. I will be leaving this hospital within this hour. If you want me to do it by the book, you'd better get on the phone with the doctors," I suggested, raising one eyebrow as I began to sit up.
The pain of moving almost cut me in two, but I forced myself not to gasp. Getting Jasper out of here in time would require me to convince both him and the hospital staff that I was in better shape than I was. I managed to sit up and get my legs over the edge of the bed, placing myself so that Jasper's head was resting next to my thigh. I rubbed my hands through his hair, trying to comfort him in any way I could.
The nurse glared at Jasper once more before sighing and stalking out of the room. Jasper raised his head as she exited the room. "I know you're hurting, Bella," he whispered. "I heard your heart pound as you moved. I can't let you hurt yourself by leaving here."
"Jasper, I don't think we realistically have a choice. Correct me if I'm wrong, but based on the way you look, the only thing holding you back right now is our little touchy-feely thing. We need to get you out of here and you need to feed. I'm quite certain I can survive that long without medical supervision," I huffed. "I admit it, I hurt, but I can hurt anywhere. I don't need to stay in the hospital to feel better."
I was interrupted by Jasper clenching my hand tightly as a parade of doctors entering the room. For once I was glad of all of my previous hospital experience. At least I knew the routine. Hopefully it would be enough to get me out of here in time to prevent Jasper from losing it. The sight of his normally flawless face etched in pain was my motivation to keep calm and do what I needed to do.
The first doctor began to speak. "Miss Sanders, your nurse tells us you're demanding to be discharged today?" he asked in a patronizing tone.
"Yes, that's correct," I replied smoothly. "The sooner, the better."
He looked down at his clipboard as he spoke. "I strongly advise against you leaving here today. You have a small skull fracture which means bruising of your brain is possible. You need to be monitored for neurological changes. You also have a bruised liver which could begin to bleed with even the smallest trauma. You really need several more days of observation before we can agree to discharge you."
Jasper raised his head up to look at me. "Bella, you need to stay. I can't risk anything happening to you because of me." Determination filled his words despite his weak voice, and I knew I had to convince him that leaving wouldn't harm me. My stomach sank as I realized what I had to do.
Looking into his eyes, I uttered words I never dreamed I would say. "We'll go to Carlisle, Jasper. We'll drive straight there, you can eat on the way," I said firmly. "He can check me out, reassure you that I'm likely to survive the next twenty four hours and we can come back and follow up with the doctors on an outpatient basis."
He looked shocked at my words. "I would do anything to help you, including seeing your family," I said gently. He nodded slowly and I began to hope that he would agree to my plan.
I switched my attention to the dream team of residents who were gaping at us. "Okay, boys. From here, we'll drive directly to his father, who just happens to be a very experienced doctor. He'll be more than capable of 'monitoring' me."
"I strongly disagree with this," the head doctor said as he shook his head.
Finally reaching my limit, I interrupted him rudely. "Yes, you've made that clear. That's why they call it 'against medical advice' I suppose. Now please save us both some aggravation and get me whatever paper I need to sign to leave."
All three of the doctors seemed to huff at once as they left the room without a word, hopefully to get started on my paperwork. The next task on my list was to get dressed. "Any idea if my clothes survived the ER?" I asked gently, unsure if Jasper was up to helping with this.
His face relaxed a little after the doctors left and he even attempted a small smile as he nodded yes. He shifted slightly away from me to reach into the dresser drawer. I was relieved to see my t-shirt and jeans appeared to be in one piece and free of bloodstains.
"I haven't seen your shoes though," Jasper said softly.
"It's okay, this is enough to get me out of this place. We can take care of anything else after you hunt. Hand me my jeans so I can get this show on the road," I ordered.
He yanked the privacy curtain around us, and I began the painful process of getting my jeans on. Jasper helped me silently, his expression bleak as I struggled to hide my discomfort from him.
"I'm okay, Baby. It hurts, but I'm okay," I said in a low voice. Before I could continue reassuring him, the nurse walked in and parted the curtain. Jasper froze again and I wrapped my arms around him and pressed his face into my body, hoping my scent was soothing rather than tempting.
"I'm no fan of this idea of yours, but there's nothing I can do to stop you," she began brusquely. "I'm here to disconnect your lines and give you this," she continued, holding up a small plastic cup with two pills in it. "It's for the pain. I know you're hurting and this will take the edge off. It might make you a little drowsy, but it shouldn't knock you out."
"Thank you," I said quietly, hoping she could tell how grateful I really was. I knew she wasn't required to give me meds before I walked out AMA. It was a testament to her character that she was still taking care of me even as I ignored her advice. I picked up one of the pills and swallowed it down before pocketing the second pill.
"I'll pretend I didn't see that," she said in a sour voice, glaring at Jasper while she disconnected the lines and monitors I was attached to.
"For the last time, he is not on drugs! I'm very sensitive to narcotics and I need to be alert right now. I'll save the other one for later, end of story," I shot back.
"I've heard it all before, Honey," she said sadly as she walked out of the room.
Her departure was followed by the appearance of the youngest resident with my paperwork. I could tell he wasn't happy, but at least he didn't give me a sermon while I signed the papers relieving the hospital of responsibility if I suffered negative consequences for leaving against the doctors' orders. He handed me a giant package of discharge instructions and reinforced the need for follow up care. I promised to do everything as directed, and at last he was gone.
Jasper slowly raised his head and looked at me. "Okay, Baby, let's get you out of here," I said softly.
"Bella," he began in a broken voice, "I don't know if I can. I don't think I'm strong enough to walk through all those humans, and I can't risk losing control while you're with me. If I kill someone publicly, it won't go unpunished by the Volturi, and I can't have you exposed to them."
"Jasper, you can do this, end of story. Failure is not an option, so we just won't fail. No vampire cops will be required."
He looked at me in quiet desperation. "How, Bella? It was all I could do not to drain them one at a time in this room. How am I gonna walk through the halls full of them?"
"You don't have to do it alone. I'm going to be right there with you." I said simply. "I don't have my shoes, and I detest wheelchairs, so I need you to carry me out. I'll be wrapped all around you, my scent and my skin right next to you. We can do this together, Jasper. Nobody is dying today. Well, at least nobody is dying because of you," I amended with a short smile. "We are in a hospital after all. I'm sure somebody in here is dying."
The beginnings of a smile crossed his lips at my awful attempt at gallows humor. "Enough pussy footing," I said briskly. "Get me out here, Whitlock," I ordered, softening my words with a gentle kiss to his lips. "We can do this," I repeated, pushing faith at him with all my might.
He cupped my face gently with his hands before effortlessly lifting me into his arms. "Don't breathe," I reminded him as he walked us out of the room. He moaned quietly as we entered the busy hallway full of humans. I curled myself around him and pulled his face down toward my neck, relying on his vampire ability to walk without seeing where he was going.
"You're doing fine," I assured him as he strode quickly down the hall toward the elevator bank. "Take the stairs," I directed unnecessarily, just hoping my voice was helping him to stay centered. As we neared the door, a group of doctors walked briskly around the corner, talking animatedly amongst themselves.
"Bella," he moaned desperately, his steps slowing as he fought his urge to stalk them.
"Keep going, Jasper," I ordered him. "It will be better in the stairwell. You're stronger than this, you can do it." I projected peace at him and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to bring him back to me.
For an eternal second I felt him struggle with himself before he finally began to move away from them. "For you," he whispered as he increased his pace and walked us into the stairwell. He used vampire speed to get us down the steps and onto the first floor. Noticing a glimpse of red as we moved, I had a flash of brilliance.
"Take the emergency exit straight ahead," I said calmly. "We'll be outside then." He complied wordlessly and I shivered as the cold air met my thin t-shirt. He seemed to relax slightly in the fresh air as he walked quickly toward the parking garage.
It was late afternoon and apparently shift change was happening at the hospital, as a steady stream of people in scrubs was coming out of the garage. "Almost there, Jasper," I soothed as I felt his arms tense again. "You can do it, just keep walking us to the car."
As we passed the last worker, he broke into a vampire run, and the cars became a blur as we passed them. I was sure there were security cameras around, but hopefully no one would be able to decipher the high speed flash, if anyone was even watching.
I sighed in relief as Jasper slowed and I spotted the Porsche in front of us. "I don't think I can let you go, Bella," Jasper whispered hoarsely as we approached the car. I realized he was worried about losing contact with me after getting me into the car.
"Lift me in through the driver's side. You can hold my hand while I climb over," I replied. Before I could worry about how bad it would hurt, he opened the driver's side door and climbed in with me on his lap. He rested his head against mine for a minute, almost as if he was catching his breath.
I pressed kisses along his cheek. "I'm so proud of you," I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair. He raised his head and kissed my forehead before gently lifting me over the center console and into the passenger seat. I held tightly to his hand as he reached across to fasten my seatbelt.
"Okay, we made it out of the hospital. Now just get us out of Manhattan," I sighed. He was quiet as he turned the ignition and backed the car out of the parking spot. His hands were clenched around the steering wheel as he exited the garage and pulled out onto the street.
We had good luck with traffic until we hit the George Washington Bridge, where we came to a standstill halfway across the span. We were packed in tightly with other cars and I noticed Jasper was almost humming with tension again.
"Still with me?" I asked softly, laying my free hand on top of his. His only answer was a short nod. His eyes were closed, the purple skin below them standing out against his pale face. He wasn't breathing and I could tell he was really struggling.
Unable to tolerate doing nothing while he suffered, I unfastened my seatbelt and slowly lifted myself over the center console to sit on his lap, wincing as I moved. His eyes opened as he realized I was moving and he quickly assisted me into place. I pulled his head down to me and started running my hands from his head down his back.
"You're doing fine. Just a little longer. You're so strong. I'm so sorry you're hurting. I'm so proud of you." I murmured words of comfort over and over as I stroked his back, thankful that the tinted windows blocked what was surely a suspicious scene from the other vehicles. He locked his hands together around my waist, holding me tightly to him.
"Bella, Bella, Bella," he chanted, so quietly I could barely hear him. I continued whispering back at him and touching him everywhere I could, trying to wrap him in comfort as he fought for control. I looked out the windshield every ten seconds, hoping to see progress in front of us. Finally I saw brake lights flickering as drivers began to ease forward.
"It's moving, Baby. You're gonna be fine," I said softly as I shifted to climb back over the console and into my seat.
"Stay where you are," he said hoarsely as he put the car in gear and we moved slowly forward. I settled back against him, just moving my head to allow him to see past me.
"Make sure you don't get a ticket," I reminded, fearful of the disastrous outcome that could mean for an innocent state trooper. He nodded tensely, but that didn't stop him from flooring it as soon as the cars ahead of us opened up. He literally flew the Porsche down the highway, and a little over a half hour later, he pulled into a small state park.
The parking lot was deserted as he pulled into a spot. He lifted me gently back into the passenger seat but kept hold of my hand. "I don't want to leave you," he said, the words sounding forced and broken.
"Don't worry, I'll be fine here. Go hunt. I'll be here when you get back," I said, pushing love at him as he leaned back. In a flash, he opened the car door and stood, tossing his cell phone lightly onto his seat. By the time the car door was shut, he was gone from my sight.
"I love you," I called softly out to him, knowing he would hear me. I knew his physical pain would soon be taken care of, but the bleakness in his eyes worried me. I knew he was feeling guilty about letting me leave the hospital to help him, and I was worried it would take a while for him to get past that.
I tapped the button to lock the doors and settled myself back in the seat, trying to get comfortable. Amazingly, my bruised body relaxed enough to allow me to fall into a restless sleep, my dreams full of Jasper's desperate eyes. I was jarred awake by the sound of Jasper's phone ringing. Fighting my drowsiness, I answered without looking at the number.
"Hello?" I mumbled groggily.
"Well, hello to you too, Darlin'," a cheerful voice drawled out. "This is Peter, and I'm guessin' I have the pleasure of speakin' to Jasper's new girl."
I opened my mouth to respond, but he spoke again. "Now I'm not gonna keep you long, 'cause he'll be back soon and he's not ready to talk to me yet." My tired head spun at the strange conversation. "I'm just callin' to tell you to hold on to him. He's gonna try to beat himself up, but as long as you just hold on, it'll be fine. Time to go for now, but I'll be seein' you soon, Little Bird."
The call ended with a click and I looked up to see Jasper approaching my side of the car. His face was still bleak, but his eyes were the lovely amber I loved so much. He opened the door and gently lifted me as he climbed in, placing me on his lap. I reached up to touch his beautiful face as he looked down at me with sad eyes.
"I'm so sorry, Baby. So sorry for everything," he said as he held me tightly to him. I wrapped myself around him as I had before, this time intent on giving him emotional comfort rather than physical.
"Jasper, it's okay. There's nothing to be sorry for, it's okay," I whispered as I began to follow Peter's directions, just holding on to the man I loved.
JPOV
Blood. Feed. Hearts pounding around me. Drain them all.
Her sweet scent. Her steady heart. Her hands on me. Fight for her. Be strong for her. Protect her.
My vampire thoughts were fractured as my body was torn between my instinct to feed and the calming force of the little woman in my arms. I chanted her name out loud as I begged every god I had ever heard of for the traffic to move before I lost control and slaughtered the people around us. I was hanging on a thread, literally fighting to keep myself in the car.
The traffic jam broke up at last and I stopped Bella from moving away from me, knowing I was past my ability to stop myself if I lost contact with her. I pushed the Porsche to its maximum speed, and was luckily able to get to a small state park without attracting the attention of any cops.
As I parked, my relief at being able to ease my thirst was tempered by my reluctance to leave Bella alone in a car as dusk began to fall. It was bad enough that I had carried her away from the medical care she needed. Leaving her unprotected now was unpardonable, but I had no other option.
It was all I could do to speak to her, I was holding onto my shredding control so tightly. "I don't want to leave you," I forced out, knowing she would understand my fears. She reassured me and I forced myself to get out of the car. The sooner I left, the sooner I would be back.
She had been so amazing all day, keeping me together when I had thought it was impossible. Even as she suffered her own pain, she was totally focused on helping me. I heard her whispered endearment as I rushed into the forest in search of prey and I could sense both her love and her worry for me even as I drew farther away from her.
I smelled a small herd of deer and my higher thoughts vanished as instinct took over. I embraced the predator I was, moving from animal to animal, draining them quickly and completely before casting the bodies aside. Gradually I began to regain control of myself as my thirst became sated. Dusk had fallen and I immediately thought of Bella, alone in the car, in the dark.
I took off at a full run to get back to her as soon as possible. As I reached the parking lot I was grateful to see that everything seemed peaceful. I could see that Bella was awake in the car, staring at my cell phone with a puzzled look on her face.
My steps slowed as I approached the car. I wanted nothing more than to be close to her, but I felt so unworthy of being in her presence. She unlocked the car and I opened the passenger side door and leaned in to lift her up and onto my lap as I sat down. I closed my eyes for a brief moment as I felt our special calm flow through us.
She reached up to touch my face and I gazed down at her, still beautiful despite the bruises that marred her cheek. "I'm so sorry, Baby. So sorry for everything," I sighed, thinking of everything I could have done to keep her out of danger, both from K2 and myself.
She wrapped her warm little body around mine and held on tight. "It's okay, Jasper. There's nothing to be sorry for, it's okay." I totally disagreed with her statement that there was nothing to be sorry for, but the feeling of her softness pressed up against me seemed to make my guilt easier to bear.
Her emotional blockade was down, and I could feel her love for me, as well as a surprising amount of pride. I couldn't imagine why she would feel proud of me, but it was still pleasant to pick it up from her. We sat in silence for several minutes, just reconnecting physically with each other now that the urgency that had been driving us was relieved.
"How are you, Sweetheart?" I finally asked as I ran my fingers through her hair, smoothing the little knots my fingers encountered as I did so.
"Pretty sore," she admitted, clearly minimizing the pain she was in. "I'm getting kind of thirsty too."
I stood and gently moved her back into her seat before buckling her in. "Let's get goin' then. I'll stop and get you a drink and you can take your other pill," I suggested as I climbed into my own seat. "I'm going to call Carlisle and let him know we're coming."
She took a deep breath and I almost expected her to try to wiggle out of the bargain. Surprisingly, she just nodded her agreement as I drove us out of the dark parking lot. Picking up my phone, I hit the speed dial for Carlisle.
"Jasper, how are you?" he greeted me smoothly.
"I've been better, Carlisle. Bella's been hurt and I want to bring her to you to get checked over, if that's okay."
"Of course you can bring her, Jasper, but if she's been hurt maybe she should see somebody closer," he replied, concern evident in his voice.
"It's a long story, but she's been in the hospital. We had to leave before the doctors were ready to discharge her and I just want to make sure she's really okay. She insists she's fine, but you know how she is," I said, smirking at her when she huffed in offense. "We're only about an hour or so away, so we'll see you soon."
"I'll ask Esme to pick up some food and toiletries for her and we'll see you when you get here," he replied before hanging up. I glanced at the screen of my phone and noticed Peter's number was on the received calls list.
"You talked to Peter?" I asked Bella hesitantly. She gave a short laugh before answering.
"If you can call it that. He gave me some instructions, told me he would see me soon, and hung up. One of the weirdest conversations I've ever had," she finished, shrugging absently.
"What sort of instructions?" I asked in amazement.
She shrugged again as she answered. "Oh, nothing I wasn't going to do anyway, Jasper. Nosy fucker, isn't he?"
I snorted out loud. "Yep, that's him alright. He's almost always right though, so if you're smart, you just put up with him," I admitted with a smile. She flashed me a brief smile in return, but I could see the pain written on her face.
"Let's get you more comfortable, Sweetheart," I said apologetically. I pulled over at the first gas station I saw and bought Bella some water. She accepted it gratefully and took a big pull before digging her pain pill out of her pocket and swallowing it.
Within a half hour, her face was relaxing slightly and I felt my own posture ease in synch with hers. "Try to sleep if you can, Baby. I'd love to say it'll be relaxing once we get there, but I kind of doubt it."
"Don't remind me," she said sleepily as he eyes drooped. "Don't leave me when we get there, Jasper. I can't do this without you."
"I won't leave you for a second, Sweetheart," I reassured her as I watched her drift into sleep. I punched Carlisle's address into the GPS and sped along on the nearly deserted highway. Bella slept soundly beside me, and about an hour later we pulled into the driveway of the Cullens' home.
It was a large, modern house, located in a remote wooded area. It was slightly reminiscent of the Forks home, and I wondered if it had been a subconscious attempt to hold onto the past.
Turning to Bella, I ran my fingers over her peaceful face. Knowing she would be anxious about facing everyone made it hard to wake her, but I forced myself to get it over with. "Time to wake up, Baby. The welcoming committee is on their way," I said gently as her eyes fluttered open.
Her heart pounded and her jaw clenched with stress. Pushing a tiny amount of calm at her, I took her hand and let our peace wash over us. "You and me, Bella. We can do it together." She nodded tightly and I exited the car, moving quickly to her door as I saw Carlisle's figure speeding from the house.
"Thanks for letting us come, Carlisle," I began, projecting my sincere gratitude toward him.
"Of course, Jasper. You are always welcome here, as is Bella," he said, his words completely matching the affection and concern he was feeling. "How's Bella doing? What are her injuries?" he asked as he moved closer to the car.
I stood protectively in front of the door as he peered anxiously around me. I shrugged apologetically at him as his eyes widened at my actions. I spoke in a quick whisper that Bella couldn't hear. "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I have to warn you that she isn't thrilled to be here. I hope you can be patient with her if she's a little sharp tempered. I also have to warn you that she doesn't want to be separated from me."
Carlisle looked disappointed at my words, but his face remained kind. "Of course, Jasper, whatever she wants. I'm just glad she was willing to come."
"Thank you," I sighed. I completely respected Carlisle, but I also respected Bella's feelings about the way the family had abandoned her.
I moved aside and opened the door to reveal Bella's face watching us avidly. "Ready, Baby?" I asked softly as I leaned over to pick her up.
"As I'll ever be," she whispered back as she reached her arms up to me.
I lifted her out and Carlisle approached us. He made no move to touch Bella and she relaxed slightly in my arms.
"I'm glad you're here, Bella," he said simply. She gave a short nod back at him.
"Please come inside. We'll get you settled and if you'd like, I'll take a look at you."
I sent him a wave of gratitude at how passive he was being for her. I felt a flicker of hope that maybe the reunion would go more smoothly than I had anticipated.
I followed Carlisle in the front door and into the open entry way. Esme was standing in the living room, radiating anxiety and hopefulness. She moved a step forward and Bella stiffened in my arms. I shot a warning glance at Esme, hoping she would pick up on it. Thankfully, she understood me and froze.
"Bella," she breathed out. She visibly struggled for words before simply saying, "Welcome to our home."
"Thank you, Esme," was Bella's quiet response.
Esme smiled sadly at her before looking up at me. "So good to see you, Jasper. Follow me, we'll get Bella settled."
"It's good to see you too, Esme," I answered honestly.
She led us up an open stairway, down a narrow hallway and into a pretty little bedroom with a wall of windows looking into the woods outside. I placed Bella on the bed, smiling at her relieved little sigh as she lay down.
"I picked up a few things you might need," Esme mentioned quietly as she turned to leave. "We'll give you a few minutes, but just speak up when you're ready for Carlisle."
"Thank you so much," I replied, sending her a wave of love and gratitude.
I sat down next to Bella and took in her pale face and tired eyes. I was hit with a pang of guilt for allowing her to be hurt this way. Suddenly, Bella snatched my hand and brought it to her face.
"Stop it," she said without heat. "Whatever you're thinking, stop it. You are not responsible for what happened to me. Those guys would have met me whether you were in my life or not. You saved me, and then you stayed with me at the hospital even though you were hurting. You're amazing and I'm so grateful to have you."
She pressed a kiss into my palm and tugged me closer to her. I leaned over her and she reached up to pull my head toward hers. She kissed me so sweetly, her lips and tongue softly dancing with mine. Our peace washed over us, easing my guilt.
"I hate seeing you hurting like this. Let me call Carlisle in so we can get you settled and resting."
She nodded her consent, so I quietly asked Carlisle to come in. I gave him a quick rundown of the injuries she had sustained and he asked several questions as he did a brief neurological exam. Bella complied with all of his requests and answered his questions, but made no conversation with him.
"Why did you insist on leaving the hospital today, anyway?" he asked as he shined a little light in her eyes. Sighing, I filled him in on my struggles at the hospital. He gave me a hard look, and I picked up on the disapproval he was feeling. "You shouldn't have let it get to that point, Jasper. You should have left to hunt. I don't like to think about all those innocent lives at risk just because you were worried about Bella."
"I know," I began to answer. "I was just so worried about her, and my thirst got worse so gradually, it just snuck up on me." I was interrupted by Bella, who was now sitting up, her eyes blazing at Carlisle.
"Don't you dare criticize him, Carlisle Cullen," she snapped. "He did great. I can't even imagine how he was suffering, but he did it. I promised him I would come here, but I refuse to sit here while you make him feel even guiltier than he already does! It was a close call, but he was amazing and we made it out together."
I smiled gratefully at her vehement defense. I agreed with Carlisle's criticism of me, but it was a refreshing experience to have somebody speaking up for me. "It's okay, Sweets. He's right, I shouldn't have risked you and all those other people like that."
"No, Jasper, I refuse to let you feel guilty about it. You struggled, but there's no shame in that. I'm proud of you." Her eyes were full of the admiration she spoke of, and I was humbled by the love I was picking up from her.
Carlisle stared at her in shock for a moment before recovering. "Of course, Bella. Forgive me, Jasper," he said smoothly. "Have you eaten anything since you regained consciousness?" he asked Bella gently as he began to palpate her abdomen.
She stiffened and winced as he touched painful areas. "Just drank some water and took a pain pill," she replied. He nodded absently he continued examining her.
"It looks like you could use some rest first, but then we should see how you tolerate eating. You seem to have come through your ordeal in decent shape," he admitted with a small smile. "Your ribs and abdomen will be sore for awhile, but there's no sign of any neurological injury. You'll need to follow up with a hematologist to check on the bruised liver, but other than that, you just need to take it easy and heal up. I'll write you a script for some more pain pills, but in the meantime I can give you a small dose of morphine if you'd like."
She shook her head minutely. "No thanks, it's not that bad," she answered, her voice heavy with fatigue.
"Just have Jasper let me know if you get uncomfortable and change your mind tonight," he replied kindly.
"I'll let you get some rest then," Carlisle said as stood up and left the room, flashing a smile at me as he passed. I shared his pleased surprise at how well Bella had handled his examination of her. I helped Bella change into a comfy pair of pajamas and assisted her into the bathroom. She finished her evening routine, and I met her at the bathroom door to carry her back to bed.
I tucked her in as usual and she curled herself around me. I could feel her relaxing almost immediately, and within five minutes she was soundly sleeping. Less than two hours later, she began to twitch restlessly as her dreams began. Her heart raced as I scooped her into my lap, trying to soothe her before she awoke.
"I have you, you're safe," I repeated over and over until she finally settled again. I calmed her from nightmares two more times before I finally heard her breathing change as she began to wake in the early dawn light. She cuddled into me and we sat together for several minutes before her stomach growled loudly.
"How about something to eat?" I suggested with a smile. "I smell coffee and I'm sure Esme is itching to cook for you. I heard Emmett come in awhile ago and I'm sure he'll want to see you too," I added, wanting to warn her of his presence before she saw him downstairs.
She grimaced and rolled her eyes as she began to sit up. She gasped in pain as she tentatively moved. I immediately helped her. "It's okay," she whispered. "Just stiff from not moving for awhile."
"Brave girl," I praised her as I helped her up and into the bathroom. She cleaned up a bit and brushed her hair before I scooped her up to take her down the stairs. Before I reached the door, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and recognized Jenks' number on the screen.
Sighing, I retraced my steps to gently put Bella back on the bed. I answered curtly and listened as he informed me that a regular customer of the bookstore had reported the unexplained store closure to the police. An officer had come out to check the store and had discovered Madeline's body. There was now a full investigation into her murder, but there were no real leads. Madeline's remains were as yet unclaimed while the authorities searched for any living family members.
"Find a way for me to cover the funeral expenses and anything else that seems necessary," I instructed. "She was a great person and she didn't deserve to die that way. It's the least I can do to make sure she has a nice funeral." He agreed to proceed and keep me posted before ending the call.
Glancing at Bella, I took in her wide eyes as she listened to my side of the conversation. I realized she was probably processing Madeline's death for the first time. "I'm so sorry, Baby. I know how much you enjoyed working for her," I offered, knowing there were no real words to make her feel better.
"I just hate that she died just because I was there," Bella replied in a broken voice. She leaned on me briefly before sitting up and looking deep into my eyes. "I want you to kill them for me," she said slowly, determination filling her words. "Make them pay for taking her life just because I was in the store with her."
"Done," I replied simply, squeezing her hand. "They sealed their fates the moment they walked into her store, Bella. Jenks is working on a plan with me, and I promise you that those men will never be able to hurt anyone again."
"Good," she answered as I picked her up and carried her down the stairs.
Esme and Carlisle walked out of the kitchen as they heard us enter the family room. Emmett was waiting on the couch idly flipping through a newspaper. He took in Bella's bruised face and let out a low growl before meeting my eyes with a serious expression.
"Let me know when and where we make them pay," he said simply. I gave him a short nod of agreement and gently sat Bella next to him on the couch.
"Doin' okay, Bells?" he asked gently as she gingerly relaxed into the soft cushion. She gave him a tired smile and patted his hand absently.
"I'll be good once I get my coffee, Emmett," she replied easily. "Where's Rosalie?"
His expression grew somber. "She's with Alice. We weren't sure how she'd do around you guys, so we figured we'd better keep her away for now." Bella sighed heavily and looked down at her lap.
"Were you able to rest at all, Bella?" Carlisle asked softly as he approached her.
"A little," she answered, shrugging as she looked up.
He offered to pick up her pain medication when the pharmacy opened, and she gratefully agreed. Esme tried to tempt her with every imaginable breakfast treat, but Bella simply requested toast and coffee. Esme brought her breakfast to the couch and everyone got comfortable around the living room. Bella ate quickly, clearly uncomfortable with the room full of eyes on her.
After she finished, I took her plate into the kitchen and rinsed it. When I returned to the living room, the uncomfortable tension hit me like a brick in the face. Bella was sitting stiffly next to Emmett on the couch facing Esme and Carlisle in the chairs opposite. Esme was holding Carlisle's hand and leaning forward expectantly.
I took my seat next to Bella and curled her hand into mine. She clung to me tightly as Esme began to speak.
"Bella," she began, "we've been so worried. Won't you please tell us how you ended up on your own?"
Bella looked at Emmett in confusion, but he nodded his head in reply. "Wasn't my story to tell," he said softly.
She squeezed my hand tightly and visibly squared her shoulders as she began to tell her story, her eyes staring out into space. I felt Esme and Carlisle's shock and sorrow as they listened to Bella's description of her life after we left her in Forks.
She avoided making eye contact until she spoke about her struggles to find housing in Manhattan and what she had done to survive. She glared at them as she briefly described having to fuck a stranger, almost daring them to judge her. I rubbed her arm lightly and gently projected pride and love toward her, hoping she could feel it through her emotional barrier.
To their credit, Carlisle and Esme didn't betray the shock and sorrow they were feeling at her words. "Oh Bella," Esme sighed sadly. Bella stiffened and I calmly took over the story of how we had met and fallen in love, lifting her into my lap and smiling down at her as I looked back on the progress we had made together.
"We're so sorry, Bella," Esme broke in after I finished speaking. "We never dreamed that Victoria would come after you, or we would never have agreed to leave you. It broke our hearts to go, but Edward was so sure it was best…" her voice trailed off uncertainly as we all heard Bella's heart began to race.
I felt Esme's determination and affection surge as she began to speak again. "I'm just so glad you're here now, Bella. You made our family complete before, maybe you being here is what we need to put this family back together again."
Oh fuck, I sighed to myself as Bella vibrated angrily in my arms. Emmett face palmed as he braced for the fall out. Realizing she needed to express herself if she was ever going to move past her anger, I made no move to restrain her as she answered.
"Family?" she spat out incredulously. "My family is dead, Esme. They were murdered by the psychotic vampire bitch who's still stalking me right now. The one you left me alone and undefended against, even though I was supposed to be part of your family."
"Bella," Carlisle interrupted. "We're sorry, we just did what Edward thought was best."
Bella's eyes blazed as she rounded on him. "Oh, I get that, Carlisle. You did what was best for your son. I get that and I even respect it. It's what you do for family, you take care of each other. What I don't get," she continued breathlessly, "is how two years later you can both sit here and expect me to jump back into the Cullen family like you guys never left. I wasn't family when you disappeared without a word, and I'm not family now."
I watched her tears slip through her eyelashes before she angrily wiped them away with her arm. My heart broke for the pain I knew she was reliving, but I knew this was necessary if she was ever going to have a relationship with them again. Esme and Carlisle were both radiating heartbreak at her words. Bella took a deep breath and spoke again, clearly struggling to remain calm.
"I know you're good people and I don't blame you for doing what Edward needed you to do. But you don't get to call me family anymore, Esme. I appreciate you letting us stay here and Carlisle checking me out, but the only reason I agreed to come here was to get Jasper to agree to leave the hospital with me. I'm willing to try to rebuild a relationship with you, but it's honestly going to take a long time before I can look at you without thinking of the way Charlie died, just because I wasn't quite family enough in Forks."
I gently wrapped my arms around her. She turned her face into me and I ran my fingers through her hair as I listened to her heart start to calm. Esme and Carlisle sat frozen in shock for a moment before looking at Emmett, who was still sitting on the couch next to us.
"She grew up into a tough little thing," he agreed softly to their unspoken reaction to the changes the years had wrought in Bella's personality.
"I'm only as tough as I need to be, Emmett," Bella whispered into my chest, knowing everyone would hear her.
Carlisle cleared his throat before speaking. "I think all we can say is that we're so sorry for the consequences our actions had on you and your family, Bella," he began, his sadness evident on his face. "We understand that you're justifiably angry, and we appreciate that you're willing to try to allow us back into your life. We're willing to do whatever you need to try to move on."
Bella didn't respond as she pushed her face even closer against my chest. I could tell she was at the end of her ability to continue the conversation. "I think she needs some time and space right now, Carlisle," I said softly as I looked him in the face. He met my eyes and nodded his agreement.
"I think we'll head upstairs so Bella can rest a little more," I suggested. "If you can pick up that prescription for her then we'll head back home after Bella has lunch." I felt everyone's disappointment at my plan, but I knew that keeping Bella there wasn't going to be conducive to her resting and healing.
Abruptly, the feelings they were projecting turned to anxiety as the three of them shared a heavy look. "What's up?" I sighed, realizing that they wanted to ask me something.
Emmett turned to face me, his gaze stopping on Bella's curled up form in my lap before meeting my eyes. "Well, Jas, we were wondering since you're here," he began, projecting nervousness. I nodded at him impatiently, hoping he would just spit it out. He took a deep breath and continued. "Would you visit Alice to see if you can help her?" he blurted out, looking at me with hopeful eyes.
Bella clutched my shirt in her hands and I closed my eyes and rested my head against hers briefly. "I don't think I can do that, Emmett," I sighed as I opened my eyes again. "I promised Bella I wouldn't leave her, and if you think it's not safe for her around Alice, I just can't do it."
Disappointment hit me from all three of them, but they each nodded respectfully and made no argument.
"You should go, Jasper." Bella's soft voice filled the room as we all looked at her in surprise. She sat herself up to face the room. "I hate to think of her suffering, Jasper. I think you should go see if there's anything you can do."
I turned her slightly so that I was looking directly down into her soulful brown eyes. "I love you," I said, full of amazement at her ability to put aside her own feelings for a friend who had abandoned her. "I love you for wanting to help her," I continued, "but I promised you we'd stay together, and I won't leave you alone here."
The sound of a car door outside interrupted me. I was the first to catch the scent of the vampire approaching the house, and a wide smile crossed my face. The others picked up on the unfamiliar scent and stood up anxiously as they heard the front door open and close.
"Good thing I was just thinkin' how I could go for a little girl time," the voice of my oldest friend drawled out as he walked into the room and knelt down in front of Bella and me. The others tensed visibly as they reacted to his crimson eyes. I projected calm at them and shook my head to indicate their defensive reactions were unnecessary.
Peter reached out one hand to cup Bella's face gently as they stared at each other for a long moment. "Hey there, Little Bird," he finally spoke to her, ignoring everyone else in the room. "I've been waitin' to meet ya for a long time now." His eyes flicked over toward me and he flashed me a quick grin before speaking to her again. "Ya did real good holdin' on to him. I think you'll do just fine."
She remained silent for a minute as she processed his words. They locked eyes with each other again, almost as if they were having a silent conversation. Slowly a soft smile spread across her lips and I watched in amazement as she leaned out of my arms to wrap Peter in a hug. "Nice ta meet ya, Little Sister," he whispered to her.
"Nice to meet you too, Peter," she whispered back before carefully climbing out of my lap onto his. She pulled my face down to hers and pressed a sweet little kiss onto my lips. "Go try to help Alice, Jasper. Peter and I will be fine here."
AN- Wow, and I mean wow! You guys blew me out of the water with the reviews last chapter! I was going to apologize for whining, but since it was so successful, I'm not gonna, lol! I loved hearing from each and every one of you who reviewed- from my regulars to those new to the story and those who have been reading along without reviewing regularly! Thank you all for reading my story.
Special thanks to BassmanOz for sending me the research assistant. Saved me a ton of time looking up Peter, but for some reason that PDF can't make a decent cup of coffee! It's hard to find good help.