Chapter 17

Truth and False

Driving back from the post office, Rachel passed in the main avenue, the street where the Hummel's residence was located. Angry and deceived by Finn's behaviour, she was driving pretty fast. She quickly passed Finn's house, but stopped abruptly when she realized that Finn's car was in the driveway.

"He is not supposed to be home." Rachel told herself.

Listening her guts, she backed up and parked her car a long the sidewalk in front of the Hummel's household. Angry, she got out of the car, run to the porch and knocked several times on the door. She really wanted to know had passed on his mind.

"Rachel, how nice…" Kurt said, but was interrupted by a frantic Rachel.

"Is He home?" asked Rachel dryly to Kurt getting passed him.

She inspected the first floor, researching Finn.

"If he is, I didn't hear him getting in." said Kurt, as he closed the front door.

Rachel walked toward the basement door, but Kurt stopped her.

"He isn't in the basement. I just came from there a minute ago." replied Kurt, walking toward Rachel and putting on hand on her shoulder.

Then, Rachel's eyes looked up the stairs, where Finn's bedroom was located.

"I don't know if I should go." said Rachel, reluctant to go upstairs, afraid of what she might find.

"I don't think she's here. I am pretty sure that Santana can't be anything but loud." said Kurt, pushing her up the stairs.

Kurt climbed two steps. He took Rachel's hand and dragged her upstairs.

Once there, Kurt pressed his hear on the door that opened itself, at Kurt's contact, on an all dressed and asleep Finn.

"Told you." whispered Kurt walking toward his brother to wake him up.

"Don't wake him up. I'll wait a little and I'll will wake him up if he doesn't." said Rachel whispering.

"I leave you two alone then." whispered Kurt as he went out of the room and closed the door softly behind him.

Rachel sat on a chair next to Finn's bed. She looked at him. He was so peaceful, so gorgeous. Needing to be close to him, she went to sit next to him to feel his warmth. Unable not to touch him, her hand went to dance on his head, started to fumble into his brown hair, wondering how someone who seemed so innocent can hurt so badly.

Feeling someone playing with his hair, Finn opened his eyes. He smiled.

"Am I dreaming?" Finn asked, seeing Rachel sitting next him, her hand caressing his hair.

"If you are dreaming, then you're in the middle of a nightmare, Finn." Rachel answered as she rose from the bed and stepped as far as she could from him.

Finn rose from the bed, stretching. He whipped his slobber and get off the bed. He went closer to Rachel.

"Why haven't you come to glee this afternoon?" asked Rachel, angrily.

That question chased away the very last ounce of sleep Finn was still in and reality slapped him. He didn't know what to answer.

"And, aren't you supposed to be at Santana's, doing god knows what to her…" added Rachel, pretty pissed.

Finn didn't know what to say. Should he exposed the truth to Rachel or continue to play along with Santana.

"Santana and I, we aren't really dating." said Finn, without thinking much. "We are only playing, for our reputations." added Finn, looking straight to Rachel's eyes. "And to hurt you." He finished, looking at the floor.

"It was only a game, it is only a game." Finn said, looking back into Rachel's eyes, almost crying.

Then, he saw Rachel's coming closer to him. He expected a slap, but she surprised him with a kiss, a true and passionate kiss.

They kissed for few minutes, rolling onto his bed, kissing each other, touching each other, savouring the other's essences .Then, Rachel rolled on top of him, straddling him.

"The game is over now." said Rachel, going down to kiss his neck.

"I wish it was that simple." Finn replied to Rachel assumption.

She stopped kissing him and moved her face away from his.

"It has to go on, a little while longer." Finn said, looking in Rachel's eyes.

"What?" Rachel asked as she got off his body and off the bed.

"Wait, Rachel, don't go." Finn said, reaching and grabbing her hand to prevent her from leaving.

"I love you, but…" pleaded Finn, but was interrupted by Rachel.

"But, you want to keep sleeping with her." said Rachel taking off her hand of his.

"No, it's not it, we are not having sex." said Finn sighing.

"Like I am going to believe you." said Rachel putting on hand on the doorknob.

"No, we did, last year and during the Christmas party, but not after." said Finn, placing himself between her and the door to prevent her from leaving.

"And, at the Christmas party, I was with you, I imagined, I made love to you, not to her, it is you I love not her…" Finn added, touching her face and leaning in to kiss her.

She let him touched her lips slightly.

"If it isn't for sex, why do you want to stay with Santana?" whispered Rachel, ending Finn's kiss.

"She threatened me." said Finn, not looking at Rachel.

"Threatened you? God Finn, what lame excuse is that. I really don't see want she can do to you that could be so disastrous. She can't kill you." replied Rachel, almost laughing.

"She can destroy me." replied Finn really seriously. "She has threatened to say that I've been paying her for our fake sexcapades, to talk about my mailman problem and to tell everybody I'm gay. If I don't do as she says, she will kill my reputation, destroy me?" added Finn, going back to sit on his bed and bringing his head between his hands.

"Your reputation!" said Rachel, hands on her waist.

"People like me, they respect me, and they worship me Rachel. I am their leader, they believe in me. It makes me feel good about myself." Finn said smiling, lights in his eyes.

"Azimio and Karofsky even threatened me to kick me of the team if I stop dating Santana and…" started Finn before Rachel interrupted him.

"Get back with me." Rachel replied, finishing Finn's sentence, sadly.

Finn didn't answer.

"I need time Rachel. Once I win an important football game and secure other's respect, I'll go back to you, I promise." Finn said to Rachel, walking closer to her and putting his hands on her shoulders.

"What am I supposed to do during this interlude, being your little glee loser on the side ex-girlfriend who still pining for you?" asked Rachel, ironically.

"Yes. No. Rachel, I love you..." started Finn looking in Rachel's eyes.

"But you love your reputation more." Rachel said, interrupting Finn and taking his hand off her shoulders. "I get it." Rachel added putting her hand on the doorknob, opening the door and ran downstairs.

"Rachel, come on, don't leave! You have to understand." Finn replied, before running after her.

When Finn arrived downstairs, Rachel was putting on her coat and fastening its buttons roughly. He went to her and grabbed her hand.

"Please, Rachel, don't go. I want you." pleaded Finn looking sadly into her eyes.

"I pity you Finn." said Rachel looking back at him. "When will you cease to be this little boy scared of other's judgment? Stop letting others defined who you are. Make your own choices and learn to live with the consequences and then you will know what truly being a man is." Rachel added, speaking a little louder. "Grow a back bone Finn!" Rachel screamed to him and freeing her from his grip.

She opened the door.

"Since I am not one worth fighting for Finn, one last thing, I hope your reputation keeps happy and warm at night because as long as you can't man up and respect me, don't expect me to take you back, ever..." Rachel said slamming the door loudly behind her.

Kurt was sitting in the basement, doing his school's assignment when he heard the front door slamming loudly. He decided to go upstairs to see what had caused this outburst.

Kurt found Finn sitting on the couch, head between his legs.

"What happened?" asked Kurt, sitting next to Finn.

"Truth happened and it knocked me right in the face." answered Finn sighing.

"What are you going to do about it?" asked Kurt, putting one hand on Finn's shoulder.

"It seems like I will have to face the consequences of my actions." answered Finn, looking at the floor.

"Good luck. You will need some." Replied Kurt, rising of the couch and went back to his homework downstairs, leaving Finn alone with himself.

"God, what have I done?" Finn screamed for himself as he went upstairs and locked himself in his room, angrily slamming the door behind him.

Rachel drove home speedily. She let her tears fall freely. Finn didn't really love her. How could he loved her and treated her like that. How could he prefer fake to true, lies to truth, Santana to her and still saying that she was the one he loved.

"Good riddance. They deserve one another; both fake…" thought Rachel trying to stop herself from crying, telling herself that Finn wasn't worth them.

Rachel knew she wasn't the best or kindest person in the world, but she had always remained true to herself and to Finn. Even though they both had made mistakes, she still loved Finn with all of her heart. She would have moved heaven and earth for Finn, but, visibly, the feeling wasn't reciprocated.

Once again, he had told her that he loved her but did nothing show it. Rachel hoped that, one day, he would be capable of such a thing, but she was starting to doubt of it.

Once in front of her house, she parked her car in the drive way. She got out of the car and went inside.

Inside, she went upstairs and took a shower to erase the filthy smell of Finn's betrayal. After her shower, she cruised on Internet and found some songs that she or others could sing in glee club for Regionals. She decided that their win at Regionals would become her new reason to live.

She decided to give her all to glee and leave nothing left for Finn. That way, she would concentrate herself on the task at head and get Finn out of her mind.

After selecting a few songs that would feature her on heavy lead vocal and one or two for the other members, she fell asleep. That night, she dreamed of another city, another sky without knowing that she would fly through it sooner than she thought.