Mynxi is my beta-love. Thank you for fixing all the screw ups I made while simultaneously typing in the car and trying to entertain the baby in the back seat. You rock. Muah!
Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.
This chapter is dedicated to BaltiK's honey. Hope he feels better soon! Sending you both lots of good vibes from Jersey!
Chapter Twenty
JPOV
I sat next to Bella in the backseat of the obscenely huge SUV Peter had rented as we travelled down a remote Montana road. Peter and Charlotte bantered back and forth in the front while Bella and I were surrounded on all sides by plastic bags containing the "necessities," Charlotte had insisted we stop for before heading to the house. Apparently, our new home was quite a trek from the nearest town, meaning we needed to stock up on "human stuff" to keep Bella fed and clothed.
Bella was quietly taking in the snow covered scenery as we drew closer to Glacier National Park. I was enjoying the good vibes in the car as everyone eagerly looked forward to seeing our new digs. Bella was nearly vibrating with excitement as the road grew smaller and the elevation grew higher. Charlotte was radiating pride and anticipation at our reaction, and Peter was just his usual, self-satisfied self.
"It's the next turn, Peter, don't miss it!" Charlotte ordered eagerly. "This road goes up the mountain about a mile and ends as our driveway."
"Alright, Gorgeous, alright," he drawled cheerfully. "Stop bouncin' up and down, you'll rip the seat belt out again."
We all laughed at that mental image as Peter drove us up the mountain. About halfway to the top, the pavement turned into our gravel driveway. Bella grasped my hand when we came around a bend, bringing the house into view. I've lived in lot of amazing homes in my life, but this one was definitely one of the most spectacular I've seen. Peter stopped the car, and we all took a moment to admire the house in front of us.
It was a log style lodge, set nearly up against the hillside. The main portion of the home was three stories tall and had a rooftop deck. There were two story wings off each side of the central segment. The abundant windows sparkled in the winter sun, and the combination of glass and wood was awe inspiring against the backdrop of barren trees. There was a small lake, complete with a small pier and boat house, about three hundred yards away from the house.
Shooting Char a taste of my admiration and appreciation for finding such a lovely space for us, I reached over and opened my door. Stepping out, I rushed over to Bella's side to open her door and help her down. Her eyes glowed and her face radiated excitement as she stepped into my waiting arms.
"Welcome home, Sweetheart," I murmured into her ear, spinning her around to face the house. Charlotte and Peter were already at the front door making catcalls at us, so I scooped Bella up and ran over to join them.
Charlotte twirled the keys gaily before unlocking the door and leading Peter inside. Bella and I followed a step behind them, her breath catching when she took in the beautiful harmony of wood, stone, and glass that comprised the large family room. The front windows looked out on the mountain panorama, while the French doors on the opposite side of the room overlooked a large deck and patio area. There was a large, in-ground hot tub and a stone sauna with a beautiful outdoor shower.
"Charlotte, it's just perfect!" Bella gasped as she ran to the smaller woman and tackled her in a hug. "Thank you for finding it and making it so beautiful!"
"Glad you like it, Sugar," Charlotte purred back, radiating satisfaction at our reaction to her hard work. "I took the west wing for Peter and me, the east side is all yours," she said with a wink at me. I grinned back at her, glad that we would have such a level of separation. In a house of vampires, there was no such a thing as true privacy, but distance certainly improved the illusion. Bella wasn't bashful, but honestly, there are some things she probably doesn't want to know about Peter and Charlotte.
Charlotte dragged Peter off to show him their bedroom, so Bella and I took off in the opposite direction to investigate our own space. The main level of our wing had a game room with a pool table and mini bowling alley. Bella shook her head in mock dread at the thought of family game night with Peter, and I laughed out loud at her antics.
We moved upstairs and poked our noses into a few spare bedrooms as well as a spacious den waiting to be filled with books. We finally located our master suite and took in the large, airy room with a beautiful mountain view. The bed was huge and soft, topped perfectly by a simple white comforter and pillows. Bella made some excited comment about thread counts before diving onto the bed and rolling around like a puppy.
Her dark hair fanned out against the pristine white sheets as she stretched her arms up over her head, baring a sliver of her midriff; just like that, I was hard. Sensing my mood change, she sat up and curled her legs to the side, tilting her face up and opening her eyes wide in invitation as she patted the mattress next to her.
In an instant, I was lying beside her, enjoying the sensation of her hair brushing over me as she leaned down to kiss me deeply. Due to our height difference, I was usually the one leaning down to kiss her, so this was an enjoyable change of pace. I brought a hand up to her head so that I could feel the silk of her hair, but I left her in complete command of the kiss so that I could just focus on the heat and softness of her lips on mine.
She deepened the kiss and pressed her tongue into my mouth as she shifted her body to straddle my chest. My free hand flew immediately to cup her ass cheek and she moaned a little as she ground her center down onto me. Eager to get her out of some clothes, I moved a hand to lift her shirt. She froze on top of me, so I immediately stilled my hand.
"What is it?" I asked in concern, brushing her hair back so I could see her eyes.
"Relax," she said gently as she ran her fingers through my hair. She bit her lip and braced her shoulders before she spoke again. "I wanted to ask you something," she said hesitantly.
"Anything, Bella," I answered, wondering what on earth she could possibly be worrying about.
"Well, I just wondered if I could leave my clothes on for a little while this time," she admitted quickly.
"Of course you can," I assured her, "but will you tell me why?" I couldn't imagine she was feeling ashamed. She was no egomaniac, but she knew she had a nice body, and I took every opportunity to express my appreciation for her form.
She blushed, a rare occurrence since I had found her, and looked down as she played with the fabric of my shirt. Finally, she raised her eyes to meet mine. "It's just, I kind of wanted to take my time touching you today," she said shyly. "And when my clothes come off, I usually get distracted by what you're doing to me, and I don't pay as much attention to you as I want to."
A relieved grin split my face as I relaxed into the bed and held my hands up as if I were surrendering. "I'm all yours, Baby Doll," I drawled out. She relaxed and giggled as she tugged my shirt up over my head and began running her hands over my chest. I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to the sensation of her warm fingers trailing over the hard planes of my body.
My dick was twitching in the confines of my jeans as she pressed her mouth to my neck. She licked the spot where my carotid artery had once pulsed and I groaned out loud. She gave a throaty little laugh as she trailed her hot tongue down my chest to lick one nipple. By this point, she was straddling my hips and I was unable to restrain myself from grinding up toward her heat.
We moaned in unison and I clenched my hands when she continued licking her way around my abdomen. The scent of her arousal filled the room and I had to force myself to hold still while she continued caressing me. Her fingers roamed busily as she worshipped my scarred body with her mouth. My dick was literally dripping by the time she reached the waist band of my jeans. She slid the buttons open and grasped my length with her hot little hand.
"Bella, can I please take your clothes off now?" I begged desperately, thrusting against her hand as she pumped me.
"If you're sure you're ready," she teased, her words belied by the breathless tone of her voice. I put my vampire speed to my new favorite use, removing her clothes quickly. Within seconds, we were both naked. Returning to my previous position on my back, I lifted her into position over my engorged cock.
I held her there for a moment, taking in the site of her brown eyes dilated with desire while she hovered over me. "Ready?" I whispered. She usually preferred for me to be on top during sex, saying she enjoyed the sensation of my weight on her while I filled her, so I wanted to make sure she was ready for the extra depth she would feel this way.
"Oh yeah," she gasped out as I lowered her body a fraction of an inch onto my hard length. We both moaned as her wet heat slid over my cold steel and I allowed her to slide slowly down until I was completely buried inside of her. She leaned back, giving me a breathtaking view of her perfect tits. She remained still for a moment, pleasure written all over her beautiful features. I didn't move her, waiting for her to take charge.
"You're drivin', Baby," I said when she looked at me curiously. A siren's smile crossed her lips, and she began to move her hips. I just laid back and enjoyed the sensation of her pussy wrapped tight around me while she experimented with different angles and motions. She twisted and bounced and I relished the glaze of lust that would cover her eyes when she hit the right spot. She looked so hot on top of me, it was all I could do to hold still underneath her.
"You look so fucking beautiful riding my cock," I whispered out loud. Her eyes locked onto mine, and I felt her walls tighten around me. "You like it when I talk dirty, Bella?" I asked, smirking in satisfaction at her reaction. She nodded mutely and bit her lip as she shifted restlessly against my dick. She found a sweet spot and moaned out loud. I could tell from her expression that she was right on the edge, but it seemed like she couldn't quite figure out what she needed to do to come.
I slowly and deliberately moved my hands up to rest on her waist, enjoying the way they fit perfectly over her hip bones. She moaned again, and I knew she was ready for me to move. "Can I help you come, baby?"
"Please," she panted, as she leaned forward so that her arms bracketed my head and her tits brushed my chest. Instinctively putting her weight on her arms, she relaxed her lower body and allowed me to take control. Taking care to keep my grip on her gentle, I started lifting her up and down over my dick. She began chanting my name, so I kept going, watching her face intently as she got closer and closer to coming.
Continuing to move her, I gently pressed her upper body slightly back, smiling as I watched her begin to come apart from the change in position. She closed her eyes and screamed my name as she exploded all around me. Watching her come threw me over the edge and I released long and hard inside her.
She collapsed forward onto me, her hair cascading over us. I closed my eyes and drank in her scent, toying with her silken hair while her heart rate returned to normal. I gently lifted her off my dick and wrapped the sheet around her so she wouldn't get a chill from lying against me.
"Love you," she mumbled drowsily as she drifted to sleep on top of me.
"I love you too, Sweetheart," I murmured into her hair, as I resigned myself to a few hours of stickiness while she napped. The time passed quickly as I lay there watching the changing light play against the pale skin of her face.
After she woke up, we took a leisurely shower, enjoying the surround spray heads in the luxurious bathroom. We meandered back downstairs to get something for Bella to eat, finding Peter and Charlotte curled up in front of the great room fireplace.
"Pretty sweet place my woman put together here, huh?" Peter asked cheekily as I joined him on the couch. Bella headed into the kitchen and Char quickly joined her, probably to gush about thread counts again.
I shrugged nonchalantly as I deadpanned, "Yeah, I guess it's alright. The bed works." I kept my eyes on Peter, chuckling as I felt Charlotte's outrage all the way from the kitchen, followed closely by the damp towel she pitched at my head. I ducked instinctively, laughing at Char's indignant expression as I caught the towel.
"I heard that, you unappreciative asshole," she yelled, a wide grin belying her incensed words.
"Alright, alright," I called, throwing my arms up in surrender and waving the towel. "It's stunning, Char, really. You did great with the decorations, the bathroom is amazing, and umm… the sheets are really soft," I added, hoping praise to her linen choice would appease her faux temper tantrum.
"You better believe they're soft," she called back saucily. "Those sheets have a five digit thread count, Jasper Whitlock."
The four of us kept up a playful banter while Bella ate her sandwich. "Hey look, it's snowing," she called out excitedly as she washed up her dishes. We all gathered at the picture window to watch the heavy flakes coming down.
"Only one thing to do on a snowy night in Montana," Peter eventually said, smiling when we all looked at him expectantly. "Family game night while Bella gets drunk, of course," he finished as he zipped around the kitchen, returning to the great room with a shot glass, lemons, salt and a bottle of Patron.
I chuckled as Bella's eyes widened momentarily before a wide grin crossed her face. "Fine, I'll be the entertainment, Peter, on one condition." She paused dramatically, her eyebrows raised artfully.
"Well then, name your terms, Little Bird," Peter drawled out, giving her a mock bow.
"My terms are simple," she announced, radiating pride. "I get to choose the game."
"Bring it on, Little Girl," he teased her. "Charlotte bought out Target's game aisle. We got 'em all!"
"Then Scrabble it is," Bella said firmly, crossing her arms.
"Game on," Peter tossed back as he vanished to the game room to grab the box. The rest of us moved to the sofa and I pulled the coffee table close enough to use for the board game and Bella's drinks.
Char sliced up the lemon and I poured Bella a shot, barely able to restrain my moan when she licked her wrist for the salt. Before she could pour the salt over the dampened spot, I reached out for her hand. "That's my job," I pouted playfully as I licked her other wrist, watching as she broke out into goosebumps.
"Naughty," she said in a throaty voice as she poured the salt, licked it off, knocked the shot back and sucked the lemon in rapid succession. It was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen, but the moment was interrupted when Peter rejoined us at the table.
"Impressive, Bella," he said, radiating amazement. "You took it like a pro!" She rolled her eyes at him as Charlotte opened the box and setup the game.
I gently grabbed Bella's arm, ready to lick it again, but she shook her head and pulled away. "Uh uh, J," she giggled. "If I'm gonna take the shots, I get to set 'em up." Her cheeks were already pink and her eyes were sparkling as the alcohol from the first shot began to affect her. I raised my eyebrow and awaited her next move.
She reached for my hand and turned it palm up before bringing her head down and giving it a long lick. I hissed as my dick grew hard at the touch of her hot little tongue to my skin, and it was her turn to raise an eyebrow at me.
"Problem, Jasper?" she asked innocently.
"I'll show you a problem, Baby," I growled as I leaned toward her.
"Hold up, Jasper!" Peter called out from the hallway. "Are we gonna play Scrabble here or are you guys just gonna fuck in front of us? I'm up for either really, but if we're gonna get a show, I wanna get more comfy!" Charlotte smacked him on the head as he approached the couch, but she couldn't hold back her husky laugh at his quip.
I felt a flash Bella's of embarrassment at the reminder of our audience, so I gently lifted her onto my lap, forcing myself to avoid grinding her down on my dick.
"Shut up, fucker," I replied to Peter. "We're tame compared to the shit you and Char have done in front of me in all our years together."
"He's right, you know," Charlotte chimed in, poking her husband in the side. "He's seen quite a lot of us over the years, Peter."
Bella giggled at this information and I mentally sighed in relief. I hadn't intended to get so carried away in front of our housemates, but the sensation of her licking me had thrown my dick into overdrive. I projected a wave of my regret for putting her in an awkward situation, and she wrinkled her forehead in confusion.
"I'm sorry, I was getting ready to maul you in public, Sweetheart," I said softly. She stared at me momentarily before rolling her eyes again.
"You can make it up to me later," she cooed, batting her eyelashes dramatically with a vapid expression on her face. I laughed aloud at her silliness, and Peter and Char soon joined in.
Bella began playing up the sexy airhead, asking "What, what did I say?" over and over again in a ditzy voice. Once we were able to stop our hysterical laughter, I handed Bella another shot, relieved when she decided to skip the salt.
"What's it gonna be then, Baby?" I teased after she knocked it back. "Go fuck in private," I emphasized as Peter whistled, "or play Scrabble with this loser and his gal?"
She laughed and pretended to deliberate before answering emphatically, "Scrabble first, fuck in private later." With that, she climbed off my lap and started drawing her letter tiles.
We settled down to play, having a great time jibing at each other and yelling at Peter for cheating while Bella kept up us entertained. She was pacing herself on the shots, but they were gradually catching up to her in spite of the steady stream of snacks Charlotte and I were supplying her with. She was teetering on the edge between "cute and tipsy" and "hold my hair, please," but I wasn't about to interfere with her fun.
"Are you sure runkata is a word, Peter?" she slurred suspiciously, staring down at Peter's latest effort on the Scrabble board. "'Cause I've never heard that word before, and I think I have a pretty good vocabulary for a high school dropout," she continued, poking Peter in the chest as she spoke.
I reached up to hold her hand before she hurt herself on Peter while giving him an accusatory glare. He coughed uncomfortably as he met Bella's wide eyes. "Well, Birdie, I am sure it's a word, but just promise me you won't go throwin' that around if you ever visit Finland."
I chuckled as I watched Bella try to process the information in her inebriated condition. Finally, the synapses connected and she grew indignant. "Hey, we're s'posed to be playin' English only, and profanity is not allowed!" she insisted with a pout. "You should be ashamed that you need to cheat to play a puny little drunk girl like me," she continued, "and if you're gonna cheat, then I'm not gonna play!"
She stood up to stamp her foot, but lost her balance and ended up back in my lap. I tried hard not to laugh, worried that she would be pissed, but I couldn't hold it in. Peter and Charlotte weren't far behind me, and soon all four of us were cracking up, although Bella looked really confused while she laughed.
After we calmed down, I packed up the game. "You're right, Sweetheart. You don't have to play with this fucker if you don't want to," I said sternly. Peter flipped me the bird which Bella found hilarious and soon we were rolling on the floor laughing again.
By this point, Bella was like a blob of jelly in my arms as the alcohol made her drowsy. "Ready for bed?" I asked her, as I helped her off the floor.
She pouted up at me again, looking disheveled, drunk, and completely adorable. "Not yet," she pleaded. "I'm having such a good time, J!"
Unable to say "no" to her, I tucked her into the couch with a blanket and put her feet on my lap. Peter put on some horror spoof movie and all of us continued to laugh at Bella's commentary on the movie. She was barely keeping her eyes open by the end, so I picked her up to carry her upstairs.
"Thanks guys," she slurred sleepily. "I'm glad I got to experience this. I may not be tomorrow morning, but right now, I'm glad to be human," she sighed.
Peter and Charlotte chuckled as Char stood up and gave Bella a kiss on the forehead. "No problem, Sugar. Everybody should get wasted at least once in their life, and it doesn't work anymore after you're changed," she said matter-of-factly.
Peter's eyes brightened at Charlotte's words. "That's it! Bella needs a list!" he exclaimed. Charlotte and Bella stared at him, but I just waited patiently for his explanation. "A to-do list! You know, a list of stuff she wants to do before she's changed."
"You want me to make a bucket list?" Bella asked blearily. I froze for a moment, hoping she wasn't upset. We still hadn't discussed a time frame, and I didn't know if she was ready to talk details. Her face relaxed into a smile as she agreed. "That's a great idea, Peter!" She leaned over and gave him a very sloppy kiss on the cheek as Char and I looked on.
I was touched at the way his face softened when she approached him. The way he felt about her was completely unique. It was a sort of sister/daughter/female best friend kind of combo, and it was definitely like nothing else he had ever felt before. He ruffled her hair and kissed her cheek back before nudging her back over toward me.
"Get on to bed now, Little Bird," he said in a suspiciously gruff voice. "You're half way to a mess, and Jasper made me promise to eat human food if he has to watch you puke all night."
She considered arguing for a moment before shrugging and climbing back into my arms. "Okay," she sighed. "Take me to bed, Jasper."
Peter and Charlotte made the expected cat calls, but we all knew I wasn't getting any tonight. I carried her up to bed and helped her change into pajamas. She managed to brush her teeth, but she was passing out even as I tucked her in. Once she was out, I spent some time ordering books to fill our den with before logging onto my e-mail.
I sent Jenks a thank you message for his hard work on the K2 situation. The operation had gone flawlessly, and I wanted to make sure he realized how much I appreciated his competence. After sending the message, I logged onto one of my bank accounts and set up a direct deposit for a generous amount to Jenks' business account. I had already paid his normal hourly fee, but I felt a bonus was in order.
By nine in the morning, Bella was stirring. "Up so early?" I whispered as I walked over to kneel beside the bed. Her brown eyes were rimmed with red, but she didn't look as rough as I expected.
"Can't sleep anymore," she sighed as she began to sit up. She winced and rubbed her head as she moved, so I rushed into the bathroom to grab her some Advil and water.
"Take this," I ordered softly while I helped her prop herself up on the pillows. She mumbled her thanks and grabbed the remote to the TV. She didn't usually watch it in bed, but I figured I would let her handle her hangover in her own way, and within a half hour, she was asleep again. I turned the TV off for her and went back to my online shopping.
When she awoke again two hours later, she looked much better. "How 'ya doin'?" I asked, laying down beside her.
"I'll live," she said softly. "The night was a blast, but the payback's a bitch."
I chuckled quietly as she snuggled into my chest. She remained quiet and I asked her if something was wrong.
"Oh no," she reassured me. "I'm just thinking about my bucket list and what I should put on it," she admitted sheepishly. "And I'm embarrassed because most of what I can think of is some type of food. I want to cook and order take-out and go to a fancy restaurant."
"Can do, Sweets," I answered easily. "Anything else?"
She nodded absently. "Yep. I'd like to go lay in the sun somewhere, even if you can't join me," she said apologetically.
"No problem, Bella. We can probably even find a place remote enough that I could join you. If you want me with you, that is."
"Always," she said simply.
"You know, we haven't really discussed a timeline for your change, Bella. It's completely up to you, of course, but I wondered if you had a plan, or if you're just going with the flow." Her expression was contemplative as she thought for a moment.
"Pretty soon, I think, Jasper. I want a chance to think about my list some more, but I don't have any good reasons to stay human. Being with you is the most important thing to me, and being changed will let us be together forever."
"Whenever you're ready, I'm ready," I said softly, pushing a little love out to her. She smiled and looked absently out the window at the snowy mountains. I felt a wave of deep sadness from her, so I reached over to turn her face toward mine.
"Something else to put on the list?" I asked, wishing I could take away the pain I now read in her eyes.
"Yeah," she began hesitantly. She swallowed deeply and grasped my hand with hers. "I want to go say good-bye to Charlie, Jasper," she whispered as she broke into quiet sobs. I held her as she cried, planning how I would make this happen for her. She eventually quieted and drifted off to sleep again as her little body fought the final effects of the tequila.
BPOV
I sat on the couch, looking out the large window at the beautiful snow covered mountain range across the valley while I sipped my coffee. Peter and Char were on a hunting trip to Billings, and Jasper was on his own hunt for the local wildlife, leaving me to enjoy a quiet morning on my own.
The last three weeks had been a mixture of happiness and aggravation as the four of us merged into our unique family unit. Charlotte and I had become good friends. Underneath her sense of humor, she was both affectionate and practical, and we spent a lot of time discussing our pasts and how to move beyond them.
Peter continued to be the annoying brother I had never experienced. I knew he loved me and would do anything for me. The trouble was that until there was something for him to do for me, he got a great deal of enjoyment out of pestering me. The house was large enough that he had no need to be constantly around me, but he seemed to turn up every time I wanted to be alone.
Honestly, I really enjoyed bantering with him, and knew it was all in good fun, but the combination of his near constant harassment and being stuck indoors was giving me a good case of cabin fever. The late winter snows were just starting to ease up, and although the white landscape was beautiful, I was more than ready to bid it goodbye when spring arrived.
The snow that had started the evening we arrived had turned into a real Montana snowstorm, and although the resident vampires were able to easily come and go, I was pretty much housebound. Jasper had taken me on a few piggy back hikes, but it was so cold I didn't last long. He and Peter and Charlotte were all trying hard to keep me occupied, and we had lots of fun watching movies, playing video games, and cooking meals much too big for one person to eat, but I was beginning to reach my fill of indoor entertainment. Frequent sex helped take the edge off of my irritation, but my human body was only up to so much of that in a day.
I was brought out of my musing by the sound of Jasper walking in from the back porch. As he walked past the window, the sunlight caught his skin, refracting brilliantly throughout the room. I smiled up at his butterscotch eyes, my breath catching at how beautiful he was.
"Fill your tummy?" I teased, patting his abs as he sat down next to me.
"Yep, how 'bout you?" he teased back, raising his eyebrow at my coffee cup.
I felt a flash of irritation at his question. I wasn't some toddler that required a daily calorie count, and I was tired of the three of them constantly shoving food at me. Rolling my eyes, I answered briskly, "Yes, Dad, I ate some cereal. The bowl's in the sink if you want to check." He didn't bite back at my bitchy answer, and I immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry," I said quickly as I reached for his hand. "I'm tired of being cooped up and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."
He took my half-empty cup and sat it down on the table before wrapping me into his arms. I closed my eyes as I leaned into him, inhaling the combined scents of Jasper and the outdoors.
"It's okay, Sweetheart, I have a thick skin," he joked softly. "I know you're starting to feel trapped here, and I'm sorry. Char wasn't factoring in human ability to get around in hip deep snow when she chose this place, I'm afraid. It's understandable that you're getting fed up."
"I still shouldn't take it out on you," I sighed, rubbing my forehead against his hard chest.
"That's right, you shouldn't," he agreed. Before I could abase myself some more, he pulled me back to look up at him. "Because…" he continued with a smile, "I'm about to tell you that I think the weather's good enough to get you out of here in the next day or so."
My smile was a mile wide as I peppered his face with kisses. "Really? That's great!" I enthused. "Where are we going?"
His smile faltered slightly before he answered. "Well, Bella, you have a couple of choices. We could take a simple trip into town so you could shop and eat out for a change. Or," he paused, looking hesitant, "we could take a longer excursion and go to Forks."
I froze for a moment as a rush of emotions flooded over me. Jasper finally squeezed my hand a little, reminding me to breathe, and I gulped air down awkwardly.
"Only if you're ready, Sweetheart," he said earnestly. "There's no rush of any kind, I just wanted to give you the option."
"No, I think now is good," I said slowly. "It won't ever get any easier, and it'll be good to put that part of my life to rest."
"You're sure?" he asked as he searched my eyes with his.
"As long as you'll be with me, I'm sure," I replied as I wrapped myself back into his arms. He lay back down on the couch and we just snuggled for another hour until Peter and Charlotte returned from their hunting trip. They quickly decided to join us for our trip and went to work making arrangements for another private jet. By this time the next day, we were on a plane headed toward the place where my life had changed so irrevocably.
Upon landing in Seattle, Jasper rented us a non-descript sedan to make the drive to Forks in. Peter made fun of the poor car incessantly as he drove, but I was glad that Jasper realized it was necessary to lay low during this visit. The rest of the world thought that Bella Swan was dead and gone, and I wanted it to remain that way. Being discovered would mean answering way too many impossible questions. I just wanted to get there, make my peace with Charlie, and get out without being recognized.
Peter and Charlotte chatted quietly in the front seat, while Jasper and I were quiet in the back. I felt tense even though I was holding Jasper's hand like a life line. Peter pulled into a tidy looking motel just outside of Port Angeles and Char climbed in back with me while Jasper went inside to get us a room. She wordlessly took hold of my hand and I leaned into her small, hard body, grateful that she knew I wasn't up to talking.
The guys unloaded our stuff into the room and Char and I followed closely behind, still hand in hand. The room was small, but it was surprisingly clean for a small motel. I grabbed my toiletries and headed for my post-flight shower. I emerged fifteen minutes later feeling more ready to face what the day would hold for me.
"I have something that's gonna put a smile on your face, Little Bird," Peter said in a sing-song voice as I sat down on the bed. I raised an eyebrow at him as he pulled several shopping bags and tossed them on the foot of the bed. I scooted down to investigate one of the bags, looking back up at him in confusion once I examined the contents.
"Thanks Peter, but I packed for myself," I said slowly. "You didn't have to buy sweatpants for me."
"Let me see those," Charlotte demanded opening the other bags. "Peter, these are ridiculously big, and poor quality to boot. Why would you buy this nasty shit for Bella?"
"There's more," he announced proudly as he bent over another bag. When he stood up again, he was decked out in a blonde shoulder length wig. "What do you think?" he asked enthusiastically. "I have red and black too."
I couldn't stop the giggles as he tossed his head and fluffed his fake curls. "It's a good look for you, Peter, but I still don't understand why you want to play dress up in girls' clothes!"
He pouted before grinning at me. "It's for you, Bella. You're gonna go in disguise so no one recognizes you! I brought several different outfits so you can choose your own identity for the day."
Jasper's soft laughter joined my own as Peter began emptying the bags haphazardly. Most of his choices were simply ridiculous, most notably the trench coat and fedora, but there were several sets of oversized sweat suits that would work well to disguise my figure.
I tossed the red wig aside without trying it. The thought of wearing it to visit Charlie gave me uncomfortable chills, but they were chased away when Jasper began yelling at Peter for bringing it. They began bickering like high school girls and I finally burst out laughing as they got warmed up.
"Real sensitive, ass hole!" Jasper snarled. "Why don't you just call Victoria up and invite her along to visit Charlie with us?"
"How am I supposed to know the bitch had red hair?" Peter demanded indignantly. "That detail has never been brought up until now!"
"Leave him alone, Jasper," I said between giggles. "He didn't know any better, and now you can lord it over him that he's not perfect."
"I'm really sorry, Bella," Peter apologized as he threw the red wig in the garbage. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"No big, Peter. Just don't take offense that I'm not gonna wear it," I answered, patting his head affectionately.
Jasper started rooting around the last of the bags as I pulled the blonde wig off of Peter and tried it on. It didn't suit me at all, so I pulled out the straight black one and put it on.
"I like this one," I enthused to Charlotte from the mirror. "I could really punk it out and go all in black!" I was interrupted by Jasper's shocked exclamation.
"What the fuck, Peter?" he spat out. "I thought the idea was to avoid attention, not attract it! If she dressed like this, every man in Forks would be following her around drooling!" he growled as he held up a red leather micro-mini skirt and corset combo.
"Sorry, Jasper," Peter said sheepishly. "That bag wasn't for Bella. That little number caught my eye and I grabbed it for Char. I guess the bag just got thrown in with these others."
I bit my lip to hold in my laughter, but I failed when Charlotte zipped over to grab the outfit from Jasper and rushed over to hold it up and admire it.
"Ooo, I love it, Baby!" she called over to Peter. "I can wear it the next time we go clubbing!" Jasper and I laughed as Peter hurried over to her and dragged her over to the mirror to hold the scrap of material against her body while copping a feel of her boobs.
We ignored them as we sorted through Peter's stash of ugly and inappropriate clothes. We finally settled on one of the sweat suits over a couple of other layers. The final effect was sloppy, but I looked nothing like myself, which was the point after all. I ended up using the blonde wig, deciding that while the black looked better, it was more likely to grab attention than the cheesy blonde curls were. With the addition of a knit hat, I was hardly recognizable.
"Ready, Sweets?" Jasper asked softly after we were both satisfied with my altered appearance.
"As I'll ever be," I answered slowly. "Let's get it over with."
Peter and Charlotte stopped groping each other and joined us near the door. "Lookin' good there, Blondie," Peter quipped lightly. His tone was at odds with his red eyes, which were full of compassion. Char thumped him on the head without heat before turning back to me.
"Do you want us to come with you, Sugar?" she asked quietly. "We're glad to come, but we understand if you don't want an audience."
"I think just the two of us today," I answered simply as I leaned in to hug her. I hoped my gesture could convey the appreciation that I felt for her. Peter reached over and ruffled my fake hair, so I shot him a small smile. Finally, I released Charlotte and turned to Jasper. "Okay, let's go."
Jasper tugged me in for a kiss before leading me out the door to the car. I was quiet on the ride into Forks, remembering the many different times I had travelled this route before my life changed so drastically.
When we pulled into Forks, it was as if time had stopped. The store fronts looked the same, the police station was unchanged, and the diner was still packed. We drove past Charlie's house on the way to the cemetery and the sight of an unfamiliar car in the driveway caused a hole in my chest.
Jasper whipped his hand out to take mine, and the pain eased slightly with the contact, but I still felt unable to take a deep breath. I barely registered the fact that Jasper had stopped the car and was picking me up and settling me onto his lap. I broke into sobs as the long repressed pain of losing my father overwhelmed me.
Jasper whispered words of comfort over and over and ran his hand up and down my back until I finally grew calmer. "I like the new paint," I choked out eventually.
"Me too," Jasper answered calmly. "It looks like the new owner is taking good care of the place."
"Looks like a little girl lives there," I added, pointing to the pink bicycle in the driveway. "I'm glad there's a family there."
He held me awhile longer until I finally told him I was ready to go. My grief was cutting me in two, and it was bound to get worse at the cemetery, but I knew I needed to acknowledge these feelings so that I could move on.
We pulled into the cemetery gates and Jasper spoke to the attendant to locate the plot number, explaining that we were friends of Charlie's. I pulled my hat snugly onto my head and looked away as they spoke, but Jasper assured me the man wasn't at all suspicious of us. He drove a short way down the small road before pulling over.
"This is it," he said unnecessarily, taking my hand in his. My chest felt tight with tension and grief as memories of my father washed over me.
"I'm not sure I can," I gasped, trying to breathe around the hole that was slowly and agonizingly opening up inside my heart. In the next instant, I was on Jasper's lap again, pressing my face into his chest and clinging to his shirt.
"Just breathe, Bella," he soothed me as he wrapped his arms tightly around me. The pressure of his embrace felt comforting rather than restrictive, and I forced myself to keep inhaling and exhaling, trying to fill myself with his familiar scent with every breath. I lost track of time, but eventually I was able to breathe normally. The grief was still very present, but it was no longer threatening to consume me.
Jasper relaxed his hold on me slightly so that he could look down into my face. "When you're ready to get out, we will," he said simply. "Whether that's five minutes, five hours, or five decades. If this isn't the right time for you to do this, we can come back when it is."
I allowed myself to grow lost in his amber eyes, drawing comfort from the love I saw inside them. Jasper had faced unimaginable horrors in his life and come through them to be the strong and loving man he was today. I would prove to myself that I was worthy to stand beside him for eternity by facing the trauma I had run away from.
I put my palms on his stony chest and visualized pulling strength from him into myself. I would honor my father and then I would move on to begin the farewell to my human life. I smiled tremulously up at the man I loved as I nodded my head. "Okay, let's go," I said quietly.
As he helped me out of the car, I noticed another vehicle approaching. We both froze as the beat up sedan pulled up behind us. Jasper relaxed almost immediately, but I was unable to hide my shock when the doors opened and Peter and Charlotte stepped out.
"What are you doing here?" I stammered.
Peter smiled at me as Charlotte rushed over and wrapped me in a hug. "Just got a feelin' you needed your family, Little Bird," he said casually.
Jasper raised his eyebrow at the rusting car. "Did somebody pay you to take this off their hands?" he asked drily.
Peter grinned wider at us. "Nope, I just stole it," he admitted cheerfully. Anticipating my disapproval, he raised his hands. "Now Bella, I did the owner a favor. This piece of shit ain't worth the money it costs to insure it."
I just shrugged as I answered, "Thanks for coming, Peter, however you chose to get here." I looked up at Jasper and he slowly began to lead me through the headstones. I clung desperately to his hand as we walked, feeling the painful hole beginning again. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand grasp my free hand. I looked gratefully over at Charlotte who was now supporting me on my other side. I felt Peter's cold hand on my shoulder and knew that he was standing just behind me.
Jasper stopped in front of a simple grey stone. Surrounded by my family, I knelt down to read it. Under his name and the dates, it simply read Beloved Father, Friend, and Protector of this Community. I ran my fingers over the etched words, thinking how perfectly they described him. Memories of my fractured childhood with him rushed through my mind as I felt the tears begin to fall.
"I'm finally here, Charlie," I began in a faltering voice. Three cold hands squeezed me gently and I spoke again. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come say goodbye. I ran for a long time and I had to do some really hard things to survive, but I hope you would be proud of me for fighting. When I wanted to give up, I thought of you, and that gave me strength."
I paused for a moment as Jasper gently reclaimed my hand. "This is Jasper, Dad. He found me and he saved me. He gave me a reason to open up again. We take good care of each other, and we're going to be together forever soon," I whispered. "I think you'd like him, and I know you'd be happy for me."
Closing my eyes, I thought of the moments my father would never see. "I'm so sorry, Dad," I choked out. "I'm so sorry that she came for me and found you instead. I wish I could have stopped her, or warned you. I know you wouldn't have blamed me, but I'm still sorry."
The tears were streaming steadily down my face by this point, and I was struggling against the sobs that wanted to break out. I shivered slightly, realizing that it was beginning to drizzle. I took a deep breath and forced myself to continue so we could get out of the rain.
"These two are Peter and Charlotte," I began again. "They're my family now. They cause a lot of trouble, but I'm going to keep them anyway. You would have liked them too, but you probably would have arrested Peter at least once."
I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, preparing myself to say goodbye forever. "You were a really good father to me. I know I didn't tell you enough, but I love you a lot, Dad. I won't be coming back here again for a long time, Charlie, but I think about you every day. I'll never stop missing you, and I'll never stop trying to make you proud. Bye, Dad."
I closed my eyes for a moment, so I was startled when I felt Peter, Charlotte and Jasper stand up suddenly, dragging me to my feet and pulling me behind them.
"What is it?" Charlotte hissed as she and Peter fell into a crouch in front of me. "It smells awful." I trained my own eyes to where they were staring intently, but I was unable to make out anything unusual.
"Shit," Jasper muttered as his grip on me tightened. "The Quileutes are shape shifting again, Peter. Neither of you move unless I say. We'll see what they want and leave peacefully if we can. Charlotte, if they attack, you get Bella out of here while we hold them off. They're young and I can feel their anger from here, so they'll be out of control."
My head spun at this information, but Jasper's warnings broke off as a huge young native man stepped out of the woods. He was dressed only in shorts, blatantly displaying the fact that he was solid muscle. He was flanked by four wolves the size of horses, all growling menacingly at us. My jaw dropped in shock as the man glared at me and spoke.
"Long time no see, Bella Swan." As the clear voice rang across the headstones separating us, recognition flooded me.
Forcing my voice to remain calm, I answered, "It has been a long time. You've grown up, Jacob Black."
Crazy long AN- not content related, so skip it if you hate these ;-P
First, my deepest thanks for all of your kind words about my mother-in-law. Thanks especially to those who shared their own victories and losses- I feel privileged to be a part of this awesome fandom. I'm not going to turn this into an update page for my MIL, so I'll just say that she's stable and out of the ICU and we're just hoping for the best for now. I'll leave it at that until my ability to update is affected again.
Dearest MM- Just need to tell you that I feel the same way- I would give it all up as long as I could keep you!
BassmanOz- I hope the girls made it clear how sorry I am for neglecting you! Won't happen again, I promise!
Ok, last thing! Do you guys know about BaltiK's awesome story Obsessed? I just found out about it today, and I was immediately addicted!
Okay, I'm shutting up now! Love you all!
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