Chapter 20
Living the dream or not so much…
Life in New York City wasn't what Rachel had expected at first. She had thought that people would be awaiting her with arms wide open, but she was wrong.
Her first week-end had been magical. She had found her way easily among New York's streets; she had spent her week-end out, visiting monuments, museums and parks. She was enjoying herself, living the dream, but, on Sunday night, the nightmare began when she met her roommate, named Sarah, who answered Rachel's question with monosyllabic words, ignoring her.
On Monday morning, she met the school director. She gave him her file. In return, he gave her a schedule and welcomed her without much enthusiasm. Then, he asked her to leave dryly.
Fifteen minutes after, she finally found the classroom in which she was going to spend all her mornings, from Monday to Friday.
Rachel was welcomed by Mr. Hatwood, her academic teacher. He introduced Rachel to the other students, but most of them kept talking with each other or kept doing what they had been doing before their teacher's interlude. Rachel sat in an empty chair close to Mr. Hatwood's desk.
At lunch time, she followed the crowd into the cafeteria. She waited almost thirty minutes for group of students to leave a table. She sat there and ate alone.
She went to her afternoon class; her artistic class where she would be allowed to fully live her dream, her passion for the stage. The classroom was the auditorium. Few mirrors, accessories were already settled on stage. She couldn't help smiling thinking about the great time she would have on that stage. Following the others students, she sat in the audience's seats.
The art teacher, Mrs Simons, arrived on stage. She looked at her students, jaded, and told them I would be a tough semester. She also said that the first play they would tackle would be West side story. It made Rachel smile. She was well prepared for that; she already knew almost every words of it. Mrs Simons continued her speech saying she would hold auditions tomorrow during the next class. Few minutes after, she distributed the play to her students and she told them to go rehearsing for tomorrow's auditions.
Rachel took the book eagerly and left the room almost running.
The temperature was clement so she decided to go in Central park to read the play, to be ready for her audition. She was quite optimist about getting the lead. She already knew the songs and had dreamed so many times about being Maria; it seemed only natural to her.
She came back to her dormitory at seven, did a bit of homework for her academic class, read the song she would sing tomorrow two more times and she went to bed to get her beauty sleep. She fell asleep smiling, telling herself the day ahead couldn't the worst than the first one.
The next morning, she wake up signing and prepared herself for the beautiful day ahead. Outside, it was raining, but she didn't care; for her, nothing could ruin this day.
She tried to listen as carefully as she could in her academic class, but she couldn't stop thinking about her audition that would take place later in the afternoon.
Once again, Rachel had lunch alone. Obviously, people in this school weren't very friendly with strangers, but they weren't bullying her either. For them, she was invisible.
When the clock indicated one, Rachel ran to the auditorium and sat on the front row, ready to sing her guts out.
Mrs Simons arrived few minutes after and told them that she would proceed in alphabetical order for the auditions. Then, the teacher called out her name; Rachel was the first to go.
Rachel walked on stage trying to look confident. She took a deep breath and started to sing. She really thought she was doing a good job, but Mrs Simons interrupted her before the end of her song. Surprised, Rachel looked at her teacher as Mrs Simmons told her to get back to her seat. Then, the teacher called another name.
Rachel went back to her place, disappointed, almost crying. She saw her classmates performed without really listening to them.
After the class, she went directly to the dormitories and tried to concentrate on her academic assignments, but she couldn't stop thinking about her audition and how bad it had made her feel. God, she was missing Mr. Shuster and Glee.
On Wednesday, things went roundly in her academic class and, once more, she ate alone at lunch. Then, she went to her art class where Mrs Simmons already waited for them in the auditorium.
She told them that Matt Daily would be playing Tony, but that she hadn't decided yet who would portray Maria. The teacher asked the girls to prepare another song for Thursday. Then, Mrs Simmons showed them the movie based on West side story musical.
At 4 o'clock, everybody left, except Rachel who got on stage to see her teacher.
"Hi, Mrs Simons, I am Rachel Berry. I was wondering if you could give me a few tips on how to reinforce my performance. I really want this role." Rachel asked her teacher, softly.
"Ms Berry, first of all, new students never get the lead on first attempt, that's how it works here, only really rare exceptions had forced my hand, but it's not going to be your case; your first audition was merely acceptable in our school standards. Maybe next year you will be ready, with hard work and full commitment in being the part. Till then, listen and learn Ms Berry." said the teacher to her, after slightly glancing at her.
Rachel swallowed the tears that were about to fall from her eyes and was about to run from the witch when she talked.
"Another thing before you go, I have seen your DVDs Ms Berry." said her teacher looking at her, taking off her glasses. "Find back those emotions that you were living through those songs and then, I will consider your skills." said the woman to a crying Rachel.
Rachel left the auditorium crying loudly. She kept running till she got out of school, hitting few people on her way out. She went directly to her dorm and started to pack her things back into her suitcases.
She emptied her drawers angrily, but stopped when she grabbed the glee club picture that she was displayed on her bedside table. She looked at it, lovingly.
No, she couldn't go back to them without really trying and make them proud. She had to stay at least one more week or the pain she had felt leaving would have been for nothing.
Sighing, she unpacked her clothes, but kept the picture close to her. She was missing her friends, people who cared about her.
Then, she thought about what used to make her fell good in her darkest times. She thought about her clandestine meetings with Puck and how it had allowed her to fully live her emotions. So, she took her tripod and video camera and went back to school.
Luckily for her, the school's doors weren't closed yet, but the corridors were deserted. She walked quickly to the auditorium.
This giant place seemed cold to her, much colder than their tiny auditorium in Lima.
Once on stage, she installed her tripod and camera, went to the middle of the scene and closed her eyes. She forced herself to think about the one thing she would have wanted to see at that very moment, the one thing that would comfort her. The answer popped into her head; two gorgeous hazelnut oceans. She opened her eyes and started to sing.
I get lost, in your eyes
And I feel my spirits rise
And soar like the wind
Is it love that I am in?
I get weak in a glance
Isn't this what's called romance?
And that's what I know
Cause when I'm lost
I can't let go
I don't mind
Not knowing what I'm headed for
You can take me to the skies
It's like being lost in heaven
When (and) I'm lost in your eyes
I just felt
Don't know why
Something is there
We can't deny
Ooh, when I first knew
Was when I first looked at you
And if I
Can't find my way
If salvation
Seems miles away
Oh, I'll be found
When I'm lost in your eyes
I get weak in a glance
Isn't this what's called romance
Oh, I'll be found
When I am lost
In your eyes.
Once again, she sang her song visualizing Finn sitting in the first row. She sang her heart out and her emotions echoed in the room like a loud thunder.
When she finished her song, she looked in front of her and she saw a security guard coming go her.
"Ms, you have to leave now or I'll have to escort you outside." said an old man, walking toward her.
Rachel looked at him, took her video camera, her tripod and walked toward him slowly.
"She's with me." said a voice behind them. "I'll make sure she leaves soon and safely." added Mrs Simmons, hands on her waist.
The guard left the room leaving the two women alone together. Rachel looked at Mrs Simmons who didn't seem please.
"School intrusion on first week; you don't do thing half way, do you Ms Berry?" said Mrs Simmons, patting foot. "You are fearless little singer, I like it!" the teacher added, almost smiling.
Rachel didn't know what to say, she just smiled back.
"You should go Ms Berry. Get some sleep! I suggest you rest yourself. I don't want to regret what I am about to do." Mrs Simmons said sharply.
"Does that mean you are giving me Maria?" said Rachel, stunned, running toward her teacher to hug her, but the older women stopped her.
"If you give a solid performance tomorrow, yes, I will, but keep your emotions and acting for the stage Ms Berry!" said Mme Simons. "See you tomorrow!" the older woman added before turning her back on Rachel.
"Thank you Mrs Simmons, I promise you won't regret it!" said Rachel overjoyed.
"Don't thank me yet Ms Berry. Hard work is all I care about." said Mrs. Simons before leaving the stage.
Rachel left seconds after her teacher's departure. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She had won the part she wanted so desperately.
Once in her dorm, she really wanted to tell someone the wonderful news. Since computers and phones were forbidden in the dormitories, she decided to write a letter to Kurt, to tell him how happy she was.
She also hoped that everything was alright in Lima, that Finn was alright…
Song: Lost in your eyes by Debbie Gibson.