Chapter Twenty-two
First of all, my abject apologies to JamesRamsey. I had major AN fail before I posted the last chapter, and I forgot to credit her for the mouth to mouth blood comment Charlotte made! She is way too cool to be mad about it, and I went back and added it after the fact, but I still feel bad because it was 100% inspired by Insecurities. My thanks to her for accepting my apology and for writing one of the best fanfics out there!
Beta'd by mynxi, who had her work cut out for her, what with all the cold medicine I'm on! Seriously, if it looks like I have a clue about what I'm doing, then it's all her doing. I am not worthy, but I am grateful to have her.
Twilight is the property of Stephanie Meyer.
BPOV
I held tightly to Jasper's hand as he drove us along the highway toward Seattle. The billboard lights felt harsh to my tired eyes, but I was too strung out to try to sleep. Peter and Charlotte spoke quietly to each other in the back seat, but Jasper and I were silent, although he squeezed my hand comfortingly every so often.
I was thankful that he wasn't pressing me to talk yet. I knew that a discussion about the day was in my near future, but I was hoping to do it at home rather than in a rental car in the middle of the night. I was holding onto my emotions by a thread, and thoughts of curling up with Jasper in our own bed were the only thing keeping me together.
We approached the city, and I snapped out of it a little when I noticed that Jasper was pulling into a seedy neighborhood. Dilapidated buildings were crammed in next to each other, lending the area a dangerous ambience. I followed Jasper's gaze to a nearby building, where a small group of grungy-looking people were staggering through the front door.
"Dinner is served," Peter sang out cheerfully, while Jasper pulled the car over to the side of the road.
I shivered a little at the thought of what was about to happen, and Jasper turned to glare at Peter. "Have a little sensitivity," he snarled at Peter. "She's been through enough today without you rubbing this in her face."
Peter leaned forward between the seats to face me, his face contrite. "Sorry, Little Bird. I didn't think before I spoke. Not used to havin' you around so close to a meal. I'm just eager to feed and get healed up. This thing is itchin' like a son of a bitch," he finished, indicating his seeping wound.
I patted his cold cheek affectionately. "It's okay, Peter. I'm just glad you're around to stick your foot in your mouth. Now go get this over with so we can go home."
"Will do, ma'am," he drawled out, gingerly exiting the car. Charlotte was waiting on him outside, her eyes scanning the area rapidly before fixing onto the group of people a few blocks ahead.
"Call when you're ready and I'll be back to pick you up," Jasper said quietly, putting the car in gear and pulling away. "If I hit a drive-thru, would you eat?" he asked me hopefully. The thought of food wasn't appealing, but I knew it was probably a good idea.
"Maybe just some fries and a Coke," I agreed. Fifteen minutes later, we were sitting in the parking lot at McDonald's. The salty fries tasted better than I expected, and I sighed in contentment after I finished. Throwing my trash into the bag, I looked up at Jasper's amber eyes staring down at me.
"Hangin' in there?" he asked gently, reaching out to brush my hair behind my ear. Fearing I would lose it if I kept looking at his beautiful eyes, I glanced out the window.
"Just want to get home," I mumbled. His cold hand cupped my cheek, and I placed my own hand on top of it. The sound of his phone ringing made me jump. He glanced at it briefly before answering.
"Be there in five," he said into the phone without preamble. "Did Char call the charter company yet?" he asked, pulling the car back onto the road.
He listened for a moment before replying, "Good, we can just make it to the airport by that time." He hung up as he pulled onto the street we had left Peter and Charlotte on. They stepped out from an alley as we approached, Peter's arm slung casually over Charlotte's tiny frame. I smiled at his relaxed expression, hopeful that meant he was fully recovered from his injury.
"Good to go?" Jasper asked over his shoulder, as they climbed in the back seat.
"Yep, let's go home," Peter replied cheerfully. "It's past Bella's bedtime," he teased, pressing a cold kiss to my cheek before he settled back into his seat. Jasper pulled away and I absently watched the lights begin to blur as he sped us toward the small airport outside the city limits.
I spent the short flight back to Montana curled up in Jasper's arms, but sleep avoided me. After landing, we all climbed into Charlotte's SUV for the drive home. I watched the dark sky, knowing that the first signs of dawn weren't far away, as we pulled into the driveway.
Jasper helped me out of the car, and we followed Peter and Charlotte inside. I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing the scent of home to envelope me. It had only been my home for a short time, but after the transient lifestyle I had lived for the previous two years, this place felt profoundly safe and comfortable to me.
I was startled by Charlotte's hand on my shoulder. My eyes flew open to meet her crimson ones. Peter stood just behind her, a wide, relaxed smile on his face. "I just want to say 'Thank you,' Bella," she said softly. "First, you put yourself in harm's way to try and protect him. Then, you gave your own blood to help heal him. I know you've been blaming yourself for what happened today, but I want you to know that I'm grateful that you were there."
I stared back at her in surprise until she leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek. "We're both lucky to have you as a sister," she finished as Peter tugged gently on her hand.
"Come on, Darlin," he drawled to his wife, "Jasper can take care of Bella now, and I could use some TLC after my hard day." Char rolled her eyes at him and gave me another squeeze before stepping away. Peter wrapped his long arm around Charlotte and they walked out of the living room together. For a second, I swear I could feel their love for each other lingering in the room, almost as if I was empathic like Jasper.
I turned to look at him, soaking up the image of his smiling face, as he enjoyed the feeling of Peter and Charlotte's love. He gazed down at me before leaning over to kiss me tenderly. Standing on my tiptoes, I poured my love for him into the kiss, allowing the fear from the wolves' attack to fade away and be replaced by the love he was sending me.
It was a soul kiss, nothing more and nothing less. Although my body was also responding with passion, the very essence of my spirit was filled with Jasper and my love for him. I wrapped myself around him, touching him everywhere I could reach. Closing my eyes, I focused on the feel of his silken hair and marbled skin beneath my hands.
Finally, we simultaneously broke the kiss. Gasping, I stared up at the eyes that I loved so much. "Let's go upstairs," he said huskily, before sweeping me off my feet and rushing us to our room. In the next instant, we were in our bed. Hovering over me, he looked down before leaning in to kiss me. Suddenly, the intense emotions I had been holding at bay caught up with me.
My grief for Charlie, my guilt over the manner of his death, and worst of all, my fear for the safety of the people I loved washed over me, choking me with its intensity. My breath caught as I looked desperately up at Jasper.
His eyes widened in concern before he sat up, pulling me into his lap so that I was facing him. I clutched at him frantically as my emotions continued to drown me. "Just let it out, Bella," he said calmly, running his hands up and down my back, rocking me back and forth. "You don't have to hold it together anymore. I have you; just let it come out."
I felt a cracking sensation inside me, and broke into sobs. Jasper rocked backward awkwardly as my emotional onslaught hit him, but he recovered quickly and began soothing me again. "Let it out and let it go, Baby."
I clung to his words the way my hands clung to his shirt. "I was so scared that I would lose one of you," I sobbed.
"I know, I was scared too," he admitted softly. "But we're all okay, so we can let go of that fear. I can feel your guilt, and you can let go of that too," he continued. "You didn't kill Charlie; Victoria did. You didn't do anything besides fall in love, and that's not something you can control. It's okay to be sad, but he would never want you to feel responsible."
The words were nothing my own intellect hadn't thought of on my own, but hearing it from him seemed to flip a switch in my brain, and I allowed the burden of my guilt to fall away. The sensation made me dizzy, and I literally fell backwards into Jasper's arms. He helped me lie down, smiling gently as he felt the change in my emotional state.
I leaned up to press my mouth to his, suddenly needing to physically reassure myself that we were truly safe and together. Jasper looked down at me in surprise, his expression a mixture of desire and uncertainty.
I pulled him down on top of me and hitched a leg around his hip. "Need to feel you," I muttered frantically, as I began pulling at his shirt. He lifted his arms, allowing me to pull the cotton over his head before he leaned back down to reclaim my lips. I ran my hands over the planes of his back while he ground his erection into me.
"Oh, Bella, what you do to me," he murmured, lifting my shirt off. He chuckled briefly and I looked up at him for an explanation.
"In all the excitement, we forgot to take your disguise off, Sweetheart," he said, running his hands through my hair. "The wig just slipped off when I took the top layer off." I stared at him in disbelief that I could forget the uncomfortable wig before shrugging it off and pulling the other two sweatshirts off.
"That's better," I sighed, once I was down to my bra. Quirking an eyebrow up at him, I teased, "Unless you want me to be blonde for a change?"
"No way," he said immediately. "You're perfect how you are." In the next second, my bra was gone and I was on my back as Jasper slid my bulky sweats off of my legs. I gasped in surprise and desire when I felt his cool tongue tracing my hip bone. Unable to control the movement, I thrust my hips toward him.
"Don't tease, I've had a bad day," I gasped.
"Let me make it all go away," he answered with a leering smile. Moaning, I lay back on the bed as he thrust his tongue deep inside my folds. I thrust myself down onto his face, desperate for more friction. He pulled back, and I whimpered at the loss until he replaced his tongue with his fingers.
"Jasper," I begged, clutching the sheets in my hands.
"Easy, Sweetheart," he crooned before his tongue hit my clit. My orgasm was immediate and intense, and I screamed his name as I writhed in ecstasy. I tugged on his hair, and he obliged me by moving up my body, pressing kisses along the way.
Finally, his mouth met mine, and I sighed at the combination of our tastes. "I need you inside me," I whispered into his mouth. Reaching down, I unbuttoned his jeans. He moaned as I moved my hand inside to slide over his hard length. He thrust into my hand and quickly shimmied his jeans off.
Seconds later, I sighed in pleasure and relief as he thrust his dick deep inside of me. He locked his arms beside me and leaned his forehead down to mine. Groaning my name, he pulled all the way out before plunging in again. I wrapped my legs around his hips, eager to feel every inch of him inside me. "Never leave me," I cried out as he moved in and out.
"Never," he breathed into my mouth. I lifted my own hips to meet his thrusts, feeling another orgasm beginning low in my body. "Come, Bella. I need you to come," he ordered in a raspy voice, his beautiful face twisting with the beginnings of his own orgasm. He pushed in hard, and I felt him twitching inside me as he began to come. He cried my name again, and I fell over the edge once more, watching the pleasure on his face as I did.
He pressed kisses along my neck and collarbones while we came down together before pulling out of me. He scooped me up and carried me into the shower. Nothing escaped his attention, and he knew I always craved a shower after flying. I smiled at his thoughtfulness before stepping into the spray. He joined me, and we made quick work of washing each other.
"Tired yet?" Jasper asked, after we finished up.
"No, still pretty strung out," I admitted, curling up on my side to look up at him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I was thinking," I began hesitantly, plucking at Charlotte's expensive linens.
Jasper knelt beside the bed, looking up through his damp hair at me. Tenderly, I smoothed the long curls away from his eyes. "You were thinking…," he reminded me with a smile.
"Sorry, got distracted," I said, continuing to play with his hair. Pulling my thoughts together again, I started over. "I was thinking about how it sucks that I can't visit Charlie's grave anymore…"
Jasper interrupted me, his jaw tight with anger. "Bella, if you want to go see Charlie's grave, we'll go. We violated no part of that treaty, and you have every right to be there. Wolves or no wolves…"
I calmly reached down and put my finger against his cool lips. "No, Jasper. It's not worth it to me to risk any of us getting hurt. But…," I continued, "That got me thinking about honoring him some other way; a way that allows me to feel closer to him than that hunk of marble."
He nodded his head and looked back at me, clearly waiting for me to elaborate. "I assume you came up with a specific idea?" he asked.
"Well, yeah, I did. But, I could only do it with your help, so if you don't like the idea, I'll think up something else," I began rambling. It was his turn to use his finger to shut my mouth, and I smiled sheepishly at him before kissing his fingertip.
"Whatever you need," he said simply. "Name it, and I'll do it." My heart swelled with gratitude for him, so I mentally relaxed in hopes that he would pick up some of what I was feeling. His face relaxed into a smile and I knew he had gotten what I sent him.
"I want to buy Forks a new police cruiser in memory of Charlie," I blurted out. "I understand if it's too much, but I just think it's something that Charlie would really appreciate."
He continued smiling, and I began to hope that he wouldn't go into sticker shock at the cost of my idea. "I think that's a great idea, Bella. I'll get Jenks right on it. If it's alright with you, I can ask him to do it in the Cullen family's name. That way it won't raise any suspicions when the donation comes through."
I thought about it for a moment, honestly not liking the idea of the Cullens getting credit for my idea. Eventually, the "big girl" side of my brain took over, and I accepted the fact that it wasn't important whose name was on the donation. I would know who it came from and that Charlie would be happy about anything that assisted the men and women he had worked with for so long.
He watched me during my deliberation, smiling when I gave him my approval. "You're an amazing woman, Bella Swan," he said, climbing into bed with me. "An amazing human woman, who needs to try to sleep sometime during this twenty-four hour period," he teased, tucking me against his side and turning out the light with the handy remote.
I snuggled up with him, surprised at how sleepy I suddenly felt. I drifted off to the sound of his quiet humming, safe and secure in his strong arms.
The next two weeks passed quickly. Peter and Char went hunting again, and Peter returned from the trip his normal irrepressible self. He began teasing me again, but I was more tolerant of it now that I had experienced the fear of losing him.
The drama in Forks had brought the four of us closer as a family. The three vampires shared a strong bond of friendship from their shared history. After the attack, I felt like a full member of the group, despite my fragile human status. We were all more physically affectionate with each other, tending to cuddle up whenever possible. Even Jasper and Peter were more demonstrative with each other, giving each other frequent shoulder claps and half-man-hugs.
The sense of belonging was heady to me after my years of isolation. I began to truly relax for the first time since Edward had walked away from me. Finally, I began to accept that I was a valued member of this family. Jenks came through with the memorial cruiser for Charlie, and I kept the news clipping of the dedication ceremony in my bedside table.
Memorializing Charlie had given me the idea to do something for Renee and Phil as well. Jenks came through again, and the University of Florida now had two full ride scholarships in each of their names. Phil's was a baseball scholarship and Renee's was a general studies award. It felt good to know that their names would live on and benefit many students over the years.
I was making steady progress on my culinary "eat before I change" list. Charlotte and I had a blast in the kitchen, trying and occasionally succeeding in replicating the dishes I wanted to taste one more time. Experiencing my "last dishes" in front of the three vampires brought a new level of enjoyment, as I would try to describe what was so great about what I was eating.
I dried my hands after finishing up my breakfast dishes before tossing it on the counter. We had a state of the art dishwasher, but I couldn't bring myself to run it half empty, so I did most of my dishes by hand. I walked out to the family room, noticing that Jasper had returned from hunting and was on the phone.
He waved at me as I walked in, and I sat down on the sofa to wait for him to finish. "Okay, I'll run it by the rest of the family and let you know," he said cheerfully, before hanging up and turning toward me.
"That was Emmett," he announced. "The Denali's are visiting Carlisle and Esme right now, which means Emmett and Rose can take a break from watching Alice. He wants to know if they can come out for a few days. I'm pretty sure Peter and Char will be okay with it, but I wanted to check with you before I agreed."
I looked at him in surprise as he sat down. "You didn't have to ask me, Jasper. I'm fine with it, but you don't have to ask my permission."
He took my hand in his before answering firmly, "Yes, Bella, I do have to ask. This is your home; you have a say in who visits here. I happen to know Peter and Charlotte well enough that I can predict their answer. But, I know Rose isn't always easy to get along with, so I want to clear it with you."
"Thank you," I answered softly. "I know this is my home, but thank you. I just meant that you don't ever have to ask my permission for Em to come, and…, well…, I know Rose is part of the package. Call him back and tell him to get his ass out here. I'm gonna go shower."
Standing, I blew him a kiss. He laughed out loud, dialing his phone. I started to walk out of the room, but Peter walked in and blocked my way, a shit-eating grin all over his face and a newspaper tucked under his arm.
"What?" I demanded suspiciously, as he led me back over to the couch by my arm.
"Where's the love and trust?" he asked in mock outrage. "I have somethin' I wanna show you, Darlin'."
I mentally braced myself for fuckery and sat down next to Peter. Jasper and Charlotte joined us, avid curiosity written all over their faces.
"Okay," I said impatiently. "I'll bite. What's with the paper?" He handed me the newspaper without answering, his huge grin getting even wider. I opened it up to the front page, revealing that it was a Port Angeles Peninsula Daily News, dated several days ago.
Raising an eyebrow at Peter, I began to skim the page. The headline caught me right away: Surprise Blood Drive Benefits Many. A large color photo underneath showed a Bloodmobile parked in front of the community center at the Quileute Reservation.
"What is this?" I asked Peter in confusion.
"Read on and see, Little Bird," Peter answered smugly. Realizing I would get my answers faster by reading, I shut my mouth and went back to the article.
My jaw dropped as I read the story of a "scheduling error" that led to a Bloodmobile arriving at the Reservation, unbeknownst to the tribe, for the first ever Charlie Swan Annual Blood Drive. Apparently tempers had run short during the discussion to determine who was at fault, and a minor scuffle ensued before some of the elder tribe members intervened to encourage full participation in the drive.
The article mentioned an ongoing aura of tension during the day, evidenced by several emotional outbursts from young members of the tribe, even as they made their donations. An elder spokesperson was quoted as saying, "Despite the fact that this is a practical joke in poor taste, we will seize the opportunity to honor a good man by helping others. We believe we know who is responsible, and we will be vigilant to prevent any other insulting pranks of this nature."
Dropping the paper, I stared at Peter blankly for a moment before exclaiming incredulously, "You sent the fucking Bloodmobile to the reservation!" The three of them stared back at me for a moment until I finally exploded into uncontrollable laughter. I vaguely noticed Jasper's hands preventing me from collapsing as I giggled, tears rolling down my face.
"The Bloodmobile, Jasper," I gasped through the laughter. "Because you're vampires! The vampire sent the bloodmobile to the werewolves!"
"I thought you'd appreciate the humor of it, Birdy," Peter answered cheerfully. Jasper muttered something about Peter being lucky that I wasn't insulted by his pranks, so I squeezed his hand reassuringly.
"This is one of the best things that anyone has ever done for me, Peter," I said, wiping the tears off my face as I settled. He got an affronted expression.
"Who said I did it for you, Darlin'?" he asked with a teasing wink. "Couldn't let those puppies off so easy after they took me down. Gotta get 'em all riled up so they'll be in peak form for the rematch," he finished, his crimson eyes gleaming with violence.
The thought of Peter endangering himself for revenge froze me for a moment, but I forced myself to shake it off. "Good luck with that, Peter. Just don't expect another emergency snack if it doesn't go your way again."
He opened his mouth to protest, but Charlotte cut him off with a smack to the back of the head. "Shut up, you Ass," she ordered coldly. "You will do know such of a thing as go back there to play with those dogs. Now," she continued, turning to Jasper, "When do I need to have things ready for our houseguests?"
The conversation turned to Rose and Emmett's imminent visit and the few preparations that we needed to make for them. Charlotte and I debated on what bedroom to give them, given Emmett's sensibilities about my love life. I finally convinced her that he would just have to grow up and get used to the fact that Jasper and I were having sex.
A few days later, we all gathered in the family room, waiting for Rose and Emmett. Their plane had landed an hour ago, so we expected them any minute. Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper were all relaxed as they watched a basketball game, but I was fighting nerves about the visit.
Emmett and I were on good terms again, but I worried about how Rosalie would react to all of us, now that we were truly a family. I knew she held me responsible for the collapse of the Cullen family. I wouldn't be surprised if she held a grudge against all of us, now that we were our own happy unit.
I thumbed through a magazine, chewing on my bottom lip until I felt Jasper's cool fingertip against it. "Relax," he ordered quietly, lifting me onto his lap. Sighing, I melted in to him, grateful for the peace his touch still gave me. Miraculously, Peter kept his mouth shut, and I was able to enjoy five minutes of serenity before the door bell rang.
I tensed involuntarily, while Peter and Char rushed to the answer the door. I felt the rush of chilly air before the door closed behind them. Clinging to Jasper's hand, I watched Emmett offer Peter and Charlotte hearty hugs, followed by Rose's cooler, yet polite greeting. Jasper helped me stand as the others crossed the room.
"Bells!" Emmett called out happily, sweeping me into a big hug. I closed my eyes and clung tightly to his large shoulders, laughing when he swung me in a circle.
"I missed you too, Emmett," I said, when he finally sat me down in front of Rosalie and Jasper, who were both watching us with amused expressions.
"You better not make her puke, Emmett," Rose said dryly, approaching me with her arms open. I stared at her in shock for a moment before leaning in for a quick hug. "You look good, Bella," she said, eyeing me closely from head to toe. "Fucking Jasper suits you."
I rolled my eyes at her while Charlotte gave a low growl. Jasper covered a laugh with a cough while Peter chortled outright. But the winning reaction belonged to Emmett, who let out an outraged cry of, "Rosalie!" He stared at her, speechless, although his mouth continued to move.
Peter was holding Charlotte back with one hand as she tried to get in Rose's face. "Listen here, Bitch. You don't come into our house and talk shit about what any of us do…"
"Relax," I interrupted her. "No need to get fired up, Charlotte. She's right, fucking Jasper does suit me." Peter laughed out loud again, still restraining his bristling wife. I glanced at Rosalie, who was reluctantly smiling at me. "It was a compliment," I said with a shrug, before turning to Emmett.
"Now you," I began sternly, poking a finger into his hard chest. "You need to understand that I am a grown woman. I have no intention of pretending to be a virgin again just because you're visiting. Jasper and I have sex. A lot. If that makes you uncomfortable, I guess you'll have to leave," I said sadly. "I'd miss you, but I'm not gonna change just because you miss 'innocent, yet sexually frustrated Bella'."
Emmett stared at me in disbelief before eventually snapping his mouth shut.
"What's it gonna be, Big Guy?" Peter asked curiously. "Deal with the fact that she wears sexy little big girl panties now, or kiss her goodbye? I really hope ya'll don't go. You're good entertainment!"
Emmett blanched with disgust and gave a shiver before giving me a sheepish smile. "Okay, Bella. I'll deal with it. No whining, I promise. I just worry a little about the company you're keeping," he teased. "These two trouble makers are rubbing off on you," he said, pointing at Peter and Charlotte.
I knew he was only half joking, but I took what I could get. "No way, Em. I'm the trouble-maker in this house, not these two."
Charlotte chuckled and even Rosalie cracked a smile at my weak joke. Relieved that the feud was over for the moment, I sat back down on the couch. Peter and Char offered a tour of the home to Rosalie and Emmett, so the four of them left the room, toting several designer suitcases.
Jasper sat down on the floor in front of me, and I took the opportunity to run my fingers through his dusty blonde curls. He tipped his head back and looked up at me. "That went well, I thought," he said dryly. "Think we'll avoid bloodshed while they're here?"
I smiled down at him. "Well, since you guys don't bleed, I'm gonna bet 'no' on the bloodshed. Violence, probably. Bloodshed, no."
He smiled up at me, his face perfectly relaxed. I treasured moments like this with him. Although he was far from the silent, tortured man I had known in Forks, his smile was still less frequent than I wished, and I cherished each one I witnessed. We sat together quietly, enjoying each other's smiles until the others rejoined us.
"So what's fun around here?" Emmett asked doubtfully. "I didn't even see any cows to tip on the drive out."
Peter chuckled as he answered, "Nope, no cows, and not much nightlife, I'm afraid. There's a decent bar in town, but it's country line dancing only. No city techno scene around here."
Rosalie rolled her eyes and huffed, but Emmett got excited. "Line dancing! Great, I'm in!"
Jasper looked up at me, raising his eyebrows in question. Smiling, I answered, "No way I'm missing Emmett line dance. I'm in too."
"Guess we'll have to bust out the contacts, Peter," Charlotte said cheerfully. "This I gotta see."
"Aww, do we have to? They itch, Baby," Peter whined back. "Let's just wear shades."
"Too conspicuous at night in this little town, and you know it," Char answered primly. "You'll live."
He groaned dramatically, giving me a wink before I could feel too bad for him.
"I'll need to hunt before we go," Emmett said, looking at Rosalie and Jasper. "Care to come with?"
"I'll come," Jasper replied, standing up and giving me a quick kiss.
"I'm good until tomorrow," Rosalie answered quietly.
I noticed Peter get a funny look on his face before he shook his head and spoke up. "I think I'll tag along with you fellas," he said slowly. "Watch you play with the wildlife a little while the girls catch up."
"Just no interference," Jasper warned sternly. "I don't want to be out there for hours just because you think it's funny to spook our quarry."
"I'm hurt, J," Peter gasped. "To imply that I would make it more difficult for you to get a meal? I'm just hurt."
Jasper looked at him evenly. "I'm not implyin' shit. I'm warnin' you. If you chase away my meal, I'll repay the favor next time you're hunting. Clear?"
"Crystal," Peter answered with a chuckle. "You're no fun," he pouted, as the three men headed toward the door. "Bella, you're in charge," he called out over his shoulder. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
Charlotte and I laughed as we waved the boys off. She turned back to me with her eyebrow raised. "If we're goin' out, we need to feed you too, Sugar. Anything you want to cross off the bucket list today?"
"Nah, I'll do something easy like grilled cheese," I replied as I stood and walked to the kitchen.
I froze when I heard Rosalie's ice cold voice cut through the room. "Bucket list?" she demanded, her amber eyes boring into mine.
I held my head up and stared back at her. "Yes, Rosalie. I have a little list of things I want to do before I'm changed," I answered evenly, as I began making my sandwich.
Her expression shifted from anger into deep sadness. "How easily you'll throw it all away," she whispered. "Your life, your humanity, gone. I hope you don't regret what you give up."
Sighing, I mentally counted to twenty. "Rosalie, we've been through this. I understand you don't agree with my decision, but I was never going to live the life that you, or Edward for that matter, wanted for me. My life is with Jasper, and since he's a vampire, that's what I will become." Struggling against a surge of anger, I pressed on. "I don't know what I ever did to earn your hate and disdain, but this is my choice. I have my eyes wide open, and I know the pros and cons. Every sacrifice this decision entails is worth it to me to be able to spend forever with Jasper."
"How I envy you that choice," Rosalie said quietly. "Did Edward ever tell you my story?"
"No," I answered. "You weren't a frequent topic of conversation between us," I added sarcastically.
She snorted at that. "Shocking," she said, rolling her eyes. She became serious again, staring over my shoulder as she began to speak. I listened silently, my eyes growing wider as she told us of her history and of her violent end at the hands of the man she had loved. She described her change, her revenge and finding Emmett.
"He is everything to me," she said passionately. "But I would give it up in a second to live the human life I was meant to. We are unnatural, Bella. Think hard before you choose."
I stood silently for a minute, processing her story and her warning. I was horrified at the way she had suffered as a human, but I was even more horrified to hear that she would give Emmett up to regain her mortality.
"Rosalie Hale," I began, striving to keep my voice free from censure. "I respect you very much for sharing your story with us, and I understand that you would choose differently if our roles were reversed. I can respect that difference of opinion. What I can't respect," I said earnestly, "is the fact that you say you would give Emmett up. I don't believe it, and I don't think you do either. I see the way you are with him. He completes you, and if the mortality fairy granted your wish for a human life tomorrow, you would spend every fragile second you were given missing him. Don't you dare belittle what you have," I warned. "I know you've experienced loss, but don't ignore what you gained."
Thinking of the things that Charlie, Renee, and Phil would miss out on, my voice grew heavy with emotion. "Don't live focusing on what might have been. You might never have had children. You might have hated being a mother. You might have died two weeks after your wedding. Your human life might have been full of despair. You'll never know. What you do know is that you have the love of a fantastic man. Admit that, and accept it. Let the might-have-beens go, and be thankful for what you have now."
Rosalie and Charlotte both looked at me with shocked expressions. "I have no more right to judge you than you do me," I began in a softer tone, "and I'll never bring it up again. But I'm calling bullshit on you when you say having Emmett isn't worth being a vampire. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat my sandwich in peace before we go out tonight. I plan on having fun while my brother is in town. I hope you'll join us, but I understand if you don't want to be around me," I said firmly as I stood to leave.
Turning to Char, I asked cheerfully, "Come help me get ready in twenty minutes or so?"
"Sure thing, Bella," she replied quickly. "I think I'll get my shower out of the way now." She walked briskly toward her room, leaving Rosalie sitting alone on the sofa.
"I hope I see you later, Rosalie," I said quietly, as I walked away. I made my way to our room and ate my grilled cheese while I looked at the view of the mountains, feeling strangely at peace with the confrontation. Knowing Rosalie, she would either respect me more or hate me more. Whatever the outcome was, I hoped my words would help her reevaluate the life she was living. Forever is way too long to live in the past, and for her sake, I hoped she would realize it.
I decided to take my plate back to the kitchen before Charlotte came to get ready. Humming to myself, I stopped in surprise when I nearly ran into Rosalie on the stairs. "Your room's on the other side, Rose," I blurted out without thinking.
"I know, Bella," she answered, her tone surprisingly free of irritation. "I was actually coming to see you, if that's okay?" she asked hesitantly.
"Oh, um, sure," I answered awkwardly. "Just let me take my plate to the kitchen, and I'll be right with you." I ran quickly down to the kitchen to dispose of the dish, but I slowed down on the way back, unsure if I really wanted to continue our conversation.
She fell into step behind me and followed me silently to my room. "Thanks for talking to me, Bella," she began after I sat down on the edge of the bed. "I've been thinking about what you said earlier. While I don't agree with everything you said, you were right about some stuff. I've been too willing to think about what I missed out on instead of what this life has given me, especially Emmett."
My thoughts raced for an appropriate response. I was thrilled for her sake that she was seeing the light, but I didn't know what to say to her now. "Umm…, I'm glad I could help, Rosalie," I stammered eventually.
She raised an eyebrow and snorted before cracking a smile at me. "Don't expect an instantaneous personality change or anything," she warned. "I'm still me. I'm just trying to see things a little differently. You know, appreciate the most important thing in my world a little more."
We both turned as Char tapped on the door before walking in. "Group effort getting ready tonight?" she asked casually, throwing open the door to my closet.
Shrugging, I answered cheerfully, "Why not? No short skirts, though. Still too cold for my human ass."
We all laughed at that and fell to the serious job of primping for a night of small town line dancing. From intense, drama filled conversations to silly dress up in less than an hour. My life is a science fiction soap opera, I thought to myself, stepping into the hot shower. It's a good soap opera, though. No way I'd change the channel during commercials. You never know what crazy shit is gonna happen next.
AN- Sorry this is so late. My daughter and I are both sick with the cold from Hell, and I'm getting no sleep. Whine, whine whine, etc. Then, mynxi and I had major technical failure getting the chapter back and forth to each other. It slowed us down by three whole days! Thanks for your patience!
Thank you, MM, for loving my short-bus ass, and for the chicken soup. You take such good care of me! I saved you a nice spot next to me here in the black hole. It's movie night, so if you bring snacks, I'll make margaritas!
My thanks to Mouse55 for nominating "A Moment Changes Everything" for a Hidden Star Award. These are awards for less well-known fics that haven't previously won an award. AMCE is nominated in the "Best Overall" category. I can honestly say that I never expected to be nominated for an award, and I am humbled that she thinks I deserved it. Check out her fic "Enough is Enough." It's a very unique AH Edward/Bella story that has also been nominated (congrats, Sweets!) Then go vote for us at http:/thehiddenstarawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com (Just remove the parenthesis and put the periods back in.) Voting for my category runs from Sept. 16th to Sept. 20th.
Huge thanks to VSPS for her review with the idea to memorialize Charlie with a police cruiser, as well as the most excellent suggestion for a surprise blood drive at the res! I loved both ideas, and she was gracious enough to allow me to use them! Hope you like what I did, Sugar!
Finally, I had the immense honor of being interviewed by the amazing Lady Blue Knight and siobhan2006 for their beautiful new blog, Twilight Between the Sheets. Go check it out at http:/twilightbetweenthesheets(dot)blogspot(dot)com . Lots of good stuff to read and pretty pics to stare at! I still can't believe I've been interviewed by these two amazing gals- I drop everything to read anything they write!