Jenny wrote for an hour before the words finally ceased to flow from her pen. Dropping it back on her desk, she leaned her head back against the chair, completely drained of all energy. A light tap on her door made her look up, and when her husband followed, she slammed the journal shut and dropped it into one of her desk drawers.
"Jethro," she tried to smile sincerely, but her heart hurt at the sight of him, "what can I do for you?"
"Just wanted to see how you were doing Jen," he said in his usual tone, just a little softer. "How did your session with Kristyn go?" He looked relieved that it wasn't him going to see the therapist.
Jenny shrugged non-committally. "It was long and I'm tired as usual. The team still doing paperwork?" she inquired in an effort to be social.
Gibbs could see right through her shield. It hadn't escaped him that she didn't really answer his question. "I just sent them home. Tony had too much free time on his hands. The last thing I need is a prank war going on between my agents."
A slight smile graced Jenny's lips at the image, but then she looked back at her husband and her smile fell. She could tell that he wasn't fooled at all.
"We need to talk Jenny," he said softly.
Jerkily, Jenny shook her head. "No, we can't." He looked at her questioningly. "Umm...not right now I mean. Rachel is...coming for supper."
A shadow crossed Gibbs' eyes. He knew Rachel and Jenny meant a lot to each other, but all of a sudden it seemed that his wife was using her friend as an excuse to avoid being alone with him.
He just nodded. "Ready to go then?"
Scrambling for an excuse, Jenny said the first thing she could think of. "I think I'll go home with my security detail Jethro." She didn't like the hurt in his eyes, it mirrored her own. Trying to justify it, she continued. "I haven't been out of the office today. Gotta make them earn their paychecks somehow."
"Sure Jen," Gibbs replied, his expression blank. "I'll see you at home."
"Jethro," Jenny called after him, not wanting to make it a bigger mess than it already was.
But Gibbs was out of patience. "Later," he said as he walked out the door.
Jenny sat back heavily. She hadn't meant to hurt him. Yeah, because blowing him off was going to make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Way to go Jenny, she thought. Slowly she stood up and called for her security detail, then got ready to go home. Her eyes fell to the corner of the blue journal sticking out of the drawer she'd shoved it into moments earlier. Picking it up, she dropped it into her briefcase with everything else. No one else would be allowed to find that book. Looking around her office, Jenny could see nothing else she needed. She left quietly, grateful that Rachel would probably be waiting for her at home. Tonight she needed a buffer and that's what friends were for, right?
NCIS
"Jenny!" Rachel met her friend with a tight hug.
"Calm down Rach!" Jenny laughed. "Gosh, you'd think we hadn't seen each other in months. Was this morning really that long ago?"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "It doesn't count when I was barely coherent and in my pyjamas, sitting at your kitchen table and pretending to be awake enough to eat. And last night wasn't nearly enough time to catch up on fifteen years. Emails, letters, and phone calls are no replacement for the real thing."
Jenny saw her chance and jumped on it. "Game for a repeat?" she asked.
Rachel narrowed her eyes at her friend. That reply came a little too quick, if she didn't know better, it was desperation she could read in Jenny's eyes.
"Gotta be into work early tomorrow Jen," she said apologetically, still not saying no.
"We don't have to stay up late," Jenny practically begged, "and you can shower and get ready here if you want, there will be food to start your day off with."
"Are you going to tell me what's going on Jen?" Rachel asked.
Jenny tamped down a rise of frustration. Did she have to surround herself with people that could read her so well it was almost like they could see right through her? A car door slammed outside and she shook her head urgently.
"Not right now Rach. Tonight, yes?" she asked, nodding her head as if that would get her friend to agree to stay.
"Fine," Rachel sighed. "But that's the last sleepover for awhile Jenny. I like my bed. And I'm pretty sure your husband will be missing his."
"So you'll stay?" Jenny asked, just as her husband walked in the door.
"Yes," Rachel said softly, then turned to greet the man her best friend had married. "Jethro!" she smiled, walking over to him. "I didn't hug you last night because we just met. But normally, I do hugs, not handshakes." She wrapped her arms around him tightly.
Gibbs hesitated for a moment, then hugged her back quickly and stepped away. He shot a glance at Jenny, who shrugged helplessly. That was just how Rachel was.
"Where's Noemi?" he asked. The Spanish woman was usually the first one to greet him at the door, unless Jenny beat her to it.
Rachel waved her hand dismissively. "I told her to go on home, no use waiting around when I was here. Supper's already finished, it's just waiting for us."
"Okay," Gibbs nodded, "lead the way."
They all filed into the kitchen where the smell of fresh bread met them, along with a warm, full scent.
"Oh stew!" Jenny smiled. "I love Noemi's stew."
"It's especially good in the middle of a snowstorm," Gibbs agreed. "But I guess it will taste just as good at the end of October."
"I can't wait to try it," Rachel added.
It was mostly due to her that the conversation over dinner amounted to anything at all. She managed to pose questions and pull answers out of both Gibbs and Jenny, although getting them to actually converse proved to be the harder task. Rachel tried to ignore the awkward tension in the room, but it was about thick enough to be cut and sliced and served along with the bread.
After they'd all finished eating, and Gibbs had been right, Noemi's stew was one of the best meals Rachel had eaten in ages, he excused himself to go to the workshop out back, where Jenny's father had kept his tools.
"What's he do out there?" Rachel asked, watching out the window.
Jenny shrugged. "Something with his hands. That's what he does when things aren't...right."
Rachel looked over her shoulder. "Are you gonna tell me?"
Jenny sighed. "Tea?"
"Tea, then talk," Rachel agreed.
After making sure their tea was just right, the two women retired to the library. It was cozier in there, a good place to talk. Settling onto the same couch facing each other, Rachel waited for Jenny to begin. When she didn't, Rachel asked a question.
"Want to tell me why you don't want to be alone with your own husband?"
Jenny made a face. "It's complicated Rachel..."
"Don't give me that Jen," Rachel shook her head. "I've been in relationships before, you'll remember, and they're only as complicated as you let them be, or as much as you make them."
Jenny sipped her steaming drink carefully. "The last couple days have been rough for us, I don't even know what to say to him."
"And you think staying away from him is going to make that easier somehow?"
The redhead frowned. "I don't really need your sarcasm tonight Rachel Ann. Can't you just be here? Can't we just hang out? Do we have to talk about everything? That's all everyone wants to do - talk and try things and give advice and make it better. For once I just want to have a conversation that does not have anything to do with what happened to me."
Rachel returned her friend's glare calmly. "That was a well executed tangent attempt Jenny, but I've known you too long to let it fool me. Did you say you had a shrink appointment today?"
Exasperated, Jenny debated about answering. But Rachel was the kind of person who wouldn't let her get away with making a scene and then retreating.
"I might've mentioned it," she said finally.
Rachel chuckled. "Care to elaborate on that, oh best friend of mine?"
Jenny shook her head and gave up, she couldn't stay mad at Rachel. "Well let's see...today was, in this order: flashbacks, resolving guilt, letting Jethro know what I need even when I don't, verbalizing what happened using specific terms, getting ticked off at my therapist for being right, being ordered to journal anything and everything to do with my assault as part of my therapy, and tea, before we talked a little about yesterday and she left me to my own devices after taking me apart and putting me back together for an hour."
Rachel laughed softly. "Not bitter about any of that, are we Jen?"
Jenny kicked her friend's foot softly. "Do you have to be that observant? Or know me that well, really?"
"That's my job," Rachel smiled. "Gotta love me!"
Rolling her eyes, Jenny took a long swallow of tea. "Borrowing a line from an nineties TV show does not make me want to like you right now."
"Ahh, but does being your best friend who won't let you get away with hiding and keeping things inside and only does what's best for you because she's been there and know's what it feels like earn me any points?"
"You're starting to sound like Abby, that girl can talk about ninety miles a minute and still get her point across."
"Still trying to change the subject," Rachel said in a sing-song voice.
"And you're getting annoying," Jenny said in a frustrated version of the same voice.
"Jenny," Rachel shook her head, "part of my job is to drag the important information out of you, even if it gets on your nerves."
"You got that in writing somewhere?" Jenny asked suspiciously.
"Does Jethro have all his rules written down?" Rachel returned.
"Somewhere," Jenny said.
"Oh," Rachel looked defeated for a minute. "Umm...I'll get right on that."
"Sure you will," Jenny laughed. "Oh, never mind. I'll talk. It's easier than trying to follow your logic around in a circle."
"Good," Rachel said cheerfully. "Okay, you're going to give me the right answers to three very important questions and then we can talk about old times for awhile before we drag your husband back in here to have coffee," she frowned, "or something else hot before we all hit the hay tonight."
"I'm ready," Jenny sighed. "Shoot."
"With my aim?" Rachel laughed hysterically. "Nobody would be safe Jen."
"Rachel..." Jenny said in a warning tone.
"Sorry," her friend shrugged, "can't help myself sometimes. Alright, question number one: why am I here acting as a human shield so you don't have to spend the evening alone with your husband?"
"We still haven't worked through yesterday," Jenny said slowly. "Today is making it worse, I don't know where to start the conversation, and I think the way I'm acting is making him regret trying." She sighed heavily.
"There, was that so hard?" Rachel asked when Jenny finally answered.
"Yes," Jenny stated firmly.
"Oh. Sorry," Rachel smiled, looking entirely unrepentant. "Question two: Are you going to talk to Jethro tomorrow or do I need to stage an intervention?"
"Oh no!" Jenny said, remembering the last time Rachel played intervener. "Anything but that."
"Good." Rachel nodded, feeling like they were making progress. "I'm going to hold you to that. You call me tomorrow before bedtime and tell me you two have talked, or I am coming over and then you will talk. No good avoiding the hard stuff hun."
"The doors have locks," Jenny muttered.
Rachel ignored her. "Question three." Jenny looked at her expectantly. "Do we have to have breakfast before 0700? My body still thinks it should be sleeping."
Jenny started to laugh. "What am I going to do with you Rachel?" she asked for the thousandth time since the two had met.
"Oh," Rachel shrugged innocently, "keep me I guess. You're kind of stuck with me now."
"Right. Well, I guess I'll manage."
"Okay, I've had enough fun playing armchair therapist," Rachel announced, "why don't we do dishes?"
Jenny's eyebrows lifted. "No thank you. There's a reason I pay Noemi to come. Domesticated is something I have never aspired to be."
"One of these days Jen..."
"Give it up Rach. I don't do dishes."
Her friend just laughed. No matter what happened, she still sounded like the old Jenny. And Rachel was fairly certain they would get her back, it would just take time, willingness, and a lot of patience from all sides. Something they all had to work on.
NCIS
In the quiet damp silence of the workshop, Gibbs sat on a stool in front of the workbench, still carving out the lines to spell what he wanted on the portrait sized plaque for Abby and McGee's wedding present. He was doing a lot of thinking. Tonight had been unexpected. First Jenny's demeanor towards him at work, then Rachel being over which ruined all his plans for talking. At least the skills demonstration had gone over well, that was about the only thing about his day that had gone right.
He sighed heavily, digging the chisel into the wood with a little more force than necessary. No matter what happened tonight and what didn't get said, Gibbs knew something had to give for tomorrow. They couldn't keep this up, being so separate from each other, not talking, not touching...it was killing him to see the hurt in her eyes and not even be able to share it because she wouldn't tell him why. Maybe he should've tried going to session with her again, at least Kristyn would see to it that they actually said what they were thinking.
Time passed slowly but swiftly at the same time, a paradox he'd never gotten used to. And when he went back in the house and found that Rachel was staying over again and he was stuck with the guest room for a second night, when he wouldn't have willingly volunteered for it this time, Gibbs wished tomorrow would hurry up and come. If he'd been given a choice, he would've tried to get back into their room tonight.
He didn't like sleeping apart from Jenny this long. The last two nights he'd spent without her was when Gibbs wasn't sure he'd ever see her again. He didn't like the parallel. He just wanted to talk to his wife, for them to be alone. He fell asleep as the clock ticked past midnight, willing the night to be over.