After the boys left, Lexi and I had a long talk. She kept trying to convince me to tell Niall how I felt but I just couldn't make myself believe that it was the right choice. There were too many risks and while I knew she was trying to help it was just giving me a headache. Eventually, Lexi gave up and left me to think about this on my own. She was working the morning shift again tomorrow and needed some rest anyway. I was now alone.

That was okay though. I liked being alone with my thoughts now and then. It made me be able to think more clearly without having to worry about others' opinions. It was a selfish method but it worked for me. I still had the headache from earlier that night so I decided to get my headphones and play a little rock music. For some reason loud songs like that helped my calm down because yes I was that weird. I took a few deep breaths and let my mind wonder, hoping for sleep. It never came.

As I drowned myself in the sounds of The Black Parade I couldn't help but start imagining a place where Niall and I could be together. That was a mistake. I had always been afraid of my own mind as it always took me to places I'd rather not visit. I was always taken to the worst case scenarios and convinced that they could easily become reality. If what my mind made me think was true then being with Niall was the worst thing I could do. It would destroy our bond forever…

I hate you, I thought to my own brain as I took my headphones off. I changed into my pyjamas laughing slightly when I saw the clothes I had let Lexi dress me in. For a second during the night I could've sworn Niall was staring at me. But that just influenced me to see a doctor about my overactive imagination…

"I really need some sleep now." One look at the clock on my nightstand told me that I was right. It was late into the night now, could practically be considered morning, and it was not doing me any favors to stay up this late. But before I could even get into bed I heard my phone start ringing. I walked over to it, curious to see who would call me at this hour. It was my mum's number on the display. "Hello?"

"Oh," I surprised her. "Oh, hi dear. I thought I was going to get your voicemail. What are you doing up this late?"

"I couldn't sleep…"

"How is Lexi? Are you two having another sleepover?"

"Uh, no. It's just me…" I should've probably tried to hide my obvious depression but I was simply too tired for that. Both physically and mentally.

"Are you okay sugah?"

"Yeah I'm fine"

"Oh no. What's wrong?" She sounded worried

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine"

"No you're not. You always say you're fine when you're not fine. Now, what's wrong?" I sighed. I always forgot that unlike me, my mum never got distracted or missed the slightest signals.

"I was just thinking of someone is all…"

"Is this about Niall?

"…And our relationship, yeah." I could never lie to my mum

"What about it dear?"

"Well things are getting… complicated. I don't know what to do anymore"

"Is this about your liking him?" she said very blatantly. i just hoped no one was with her

"Yeah…"

"Well why don't you just tell him?"

"Because it's not that simple! Why don't you understand that?" I cried aggravated. Why did everyone keep saying it so causally? If it were that simple I would've done it already.

"Because it is that simple," she said either not noticing my outburst or not caring. "Just tell him, so what?"

"So what if something bad happens?"

"Like what?"

"Like what if we end up in a bad terms? I'd rather have my friend… I don't want to have a big fall out and not talk to him anymore. He means too much to me…"

"Well, if he means so much to you then why can't you tell him you like him?" She still didn't understand. Why was it so hard to get people to see my side of this?

"Because! What if he doesn't feel the same way? That'd be awkward! And what if he does and we start dating but get in a fight, break up, and never to speak to each other again!"

"…What if you have a happy ending?"

I laughed but there was no humor behind it.

"There are no such things as happy ending"

"Yes there are. I have one"

"Yeah," I said sarcastically. "I'm sure you always dreamed of marrying someone, moving to another country, across an ocean, just for them, and then getting a divorce. Sounds wonderful." I paused at what I said. It wasn't my mum's fault that I was dealing with this and I shouldn't be taking this out on her.

"It may not be the ideal Fairy Tale but I'm happy. Are you?" She didn't sound mad, she still sounded worried. This made me feel worse

"No, not with Niall… Not with how things are"

"Besides," she said lightheartedly, "sometimes things are worth the risk. Because of what I went through I have you. Don't you think he's worth the risk?"

"Yeah but- but…" I couldn't finish my sentence but I didn't think I wanted to hear the end of it. I sniffled and realized I had started crying somewhere in the conversation. I wiped my face of the tears.

"Listen Melody," she said softly, as if noticing I had been crying too. "I'm not going to tell you how to live your life; that is a decision for you to make. But honey, you know that if you think that there may be a possibility you can have a happy ending it would be worth the risk. Right?" I couldn't answer right away but she waited patiently.

"…I'll think about it." I heard her sigh on the other line

"Okay. Well goodnight dear. I had called to see how you were doing anyway. Just think about it, okay? Do what you believe is best. If this keeps making you sad then why not try something else?"

"Goodnight Mum" I said and hung up. I threw myself onto my bed and fell asleep before my mind could wonder off to a place I didn't want to visit.

"Mel, are you alright?" Lexi asked as soon as I opened the door. I had called her in the morning asking if she could come over after her shift. She kept wanting to leave early to come over but I couldn't let her do that.

"I'm fine! It's not like I got in a car accident or anything"

"Well emotional pain can be just as bad" she insisted and walked over towards the couch. She patted the seat next to her signaling me to sit too. I did. "So what happened? Why the sudden change of heart? Did you finally snap from all the bottled up love?"

"No!" I snapped pushing her hands which had made their way onto my shoulders. "My mum called last night. We had a little talk…"

"Leave it to Jenna to do the impossible" she said with an admiring nod that made me smile a little

"Yeah… my mum is special… Now I need your help to actually do it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… Well how exactly would I go about doing it?" She didn't look like she understood

"I don't understand"

"Well, should I call him? Should I invite him over and then tell him? Should we be alone or… no yeah we should be alone. It'd be embarrassing if we weren't alone… But then… then we'd be alone… And what if-"

"Alright , alright, I get your point. You're paranoid." I normally found that sort of thing insulting but this time I just nodded. I think I was paranoid. "I think you should tell him in person; this isn't the kind of thing you can handle with a phone call."

"Okay when should I call him?"

"The sooner the better I think. Like now for example"

"Now?! You can't be serious I-" But unluckily for me she had already reached for my cell phone and stated dialing.

"Don't hang up" she warned putting the phone to my ear. "If you don't do it now you'll wait too long and it will be too late. Now, take it."

I nodded and placed my hand on the phone but I could feel myself shaking from fear. I hated the way that Irish boy made me act sometimes. The more it rang the more nervous I became. I was close to the point of hyperventilating when someone finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Um, hi Louis, it's Mel. Is it alright if I talk to Niall real quick?"

"Yeah, sure" he said kind of hastily and I heard shuffling as he passed the phone over to Niall

"Hey Kitty are you okay?" I sighed. It bothered me that everyone kept asking me that.

"Yeah I'm fine. Listen, Niall… We need to talk"