Jenny was waiting in the living room when Gibbs finally made it home. It was almost 1 am and she had been getting worried. She waited up, not wanting to bed without him. Jenny knew he'd need her when this was all over. And she was right. She turned to Will first, before she even spoke to her husband, wanting no audience for this moment.
"Thank you Will, and thank Aaron too. You can go home now."
The agent still waited for confirmation from Gibbs before he left, and it came in the form of a slight nod. "Good night Director, Agent Gibbs," he said as he walked out.
Jenny closed and locked the door, finally turning to her husband. "Jethro?" She could see the exhaustion in his face and read the dark shadows behind his eyes as he leaned against the wall, letting it take his weight, bruised and battered and fighting the memories.
"We got him," Gibbs said as he shrugged off his coat, wincing at the pain in his shoulder from where he'd hit the pavement to avoid getting shot. He was planning to leave that part out as long as possible, Jen worried about him getting hurt and he didn't want anymore worry tonight. "Sent him to see Ducky."
Jenny knew by the tone in his voice that Jethro had been the one who shot the man who had taken the girls. She moved closer and put her hand on his shoulder and when he turned, she wrapped her arms around him. She could feel the tension in his body and knew he was struggling not to cry.
"He knew about Kelly Jen..." Gibbs said, his voice breaking. "He was taunting me with her, saying I failed her. I did, I know I did. I should've been there Jen, when she died. Maybe if I'd been there...maybe..." he couldn't get the rest of the words out. There were too many consequences for maybe and what if and he couldn't even think straight right now.
"Jethro," Jenny breathed, his words piercing her heart. Of all the things Rush could've brought up, did it have to be the most painful event in her husband's life? "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. He had no right." She felt her temper rising but Gibbs didn't need her anger tonight. She rubbed his back. "You didn't fail Kelly, Jethro, you didn't. You were fighting for your country, trying to keep her safe. Please, believe me."
She didn't know what else to say. Nothing could make the hurt he felt go away. It was too deep and it would always be there. It was just worse when the scab got torn off after so many years, now he was bleeding again and she couldn't make it better.
Gibbs put his arms around Jenny, holding on tight. The difference in his touch was something Jenny could feel. It was as if he thought she might disappear and he wasn't about to let go. His body shuddered when he sighed, the emotion rolling off of him.
"I really need you tonight Jen," he whispered.
Jenny knew that now it was her turn to do the caring for. The last three weeks Gibbs had worked so hard to be what she needed, to help her through everything left in the wake of her experience. But tonight she needed to be his strength because this time he was the broken one and her words and her touch were needed to help heal his hurt.
She turned off the lights and set the alarm, then took her husband's hand, leading him up to their room and into the bathroom. Just like he'd done for her that first night, Jenny turned the water on for him, letting it get good and hot. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.
"Have a shower Jethro, it'll help."
After a moment of just standing and looking at her, Gibbs finally nodded and pulled off his shirt, trying to keep his expression neutral, even as the ache in his shoulder intensified. Jenny left the room and closed the door behind her. Down the hall, Jenny grabbed a big, fluffy brown towel from the linen closet and took it downstairs to put in the dryer. She remembered the first time Gibbs had ever done that for her, shortly after they were married. Jenny couldn't think of anything that felt much more spoiled than having a warm towel waiting for her when she got out of the shower. Perhaps tonight it would help him.
She waited for the buzz to signal it was done, tidying up the kitchen and bringing a glass of water with her when she went back upstairs. Jenny was not as unobservant as her husband hoped, and she was going to insist he took aspirins for his shoulder before he tried to sleep.
Back in the bathroom, Gibbs stood silently under the hot, heavy spray of water, letting it pound into his back muscles and wash some of the strain from today away. He reached for his Old Spice shampoo, smiling just a little as he thought about how Jenny liked the smell of it on his pillow. After soaping himself up, Gibbs turned to face the water and watched all the suds get washed down the drain.
There was a tap on the door and Jenny's voice. "Jethro? I brought a towel for you."
He didn't bother responding. But shortly after that, Gibbs shut off the water and opened the curtain, bending down the get the towel. It was one of Jenny's good ones, he noticed, having learned to pay attention to some things. When he picked it up, his smile grew. She'd warmed it in the dryer for him. He shook his head. It really was a nice gesture and he knew she was trying to help tonight.
Gibbs wrapped the towel around his waist after he was mostly dry and opened the bathroom door to go back into their room. Jenny was sitting in the middle of the bed, reading while she waited for him. She kept her eyes on the book while he changed into pyjamas and he sat on the side of the bed to towel off his hair. Once the towel was hung up in the bathroom and the light was off, Gibbs came back and stood in the doorway. Jenny looked up and smiled. She pointed to the glass of water and two white pills sitting on her nightstand.
"Those first," she said sternly and he quirked an eyebrow at her. "Right shoulder," was all she said and he frowned, wondering when she'd learned him so well.
Gibbs hated pills and he never took them if he could help it. But his shoulder was hurting and it wasn't worth fighting with Jenny about it. He popped the pills in his mouth and washed them down with a long swallow of water. Jenny put aside her book and patted the spot in front of her.
"Come here Jethro," she whispered. "Let me hold you for awhile."
He hesitated only a moment before climbing onto the bed and settling between her legs. Gibbs sighed when Jenny touched his skin softly and began working her fingers into his neck, kneading at the tight muscles there and in his back and shoulders. She was careful to put no pressure on his right shoulder and worked around the spot instead. Gibbs just sat there and they didn't say a word while she worked her way down, massaging his back. It felt so good, her hands on him, doing what she could. It was more than he could've asked for, so Gibbs was glad that he hadn't needed to ask.
Little by little Jenny felt Gibbs relax. When she finished, she leaned against him, clasping her arms around his waist. For a long moment he just let her hug him.
Then he interrupted the silence. "I found your letter tonight," he said quietly. "Thank you Jenny. I twas just what I needed to hear."
Jenny rubbed her cheek against his back. "I'm glad."
There was more comfortable silence between them. Finally he put one hand over hers and took a deep breath. Gibbs knew things were still shaky for Jenny, that she was still healing, but he desperately need the comfort of her body tonight. Not for what they hadn't done yet, he had neither the energy nor the desire for it this time. He just needed her.
"Jen, will you let me hold you?" he asked quietly. "I want to feel you against me."
Jenny was quiet. She knew he meant more than just holding her as is. Her body balked at the thought and she couldn't help the tremour that ran through her. But this wasn't about her and it wasn't even about sex, which she was still uncertain about in a way. This was about Jethro and tonight she would give him all she could.
Gibbs felt Jenny move out from behind him and wondered about her reaction to his request. But she got off the bed and without looking at him, stripped down to her bra and underwear, leaving her pj's where they fell. He felt a rush of thankfulness at her willingness. He moved off the bed as well and removed everything but his boxers. He lifted the covers and crawled underneath, holding them up for Jenny, who hesitated only a moment before joining him.
Jenny was not comfortable with how close she was to naked, but she tried to focus all her energy on her husband. She moved to a position beside him where he could rest his head on her shoulder. His arms came around her waist to pull her closer and she stroked his hair and whispered to him things she wished would help.
"It's going to be alright." "I'm so sorry for the memories." "Remember the good times with Kelly, Jethro. Those are what she would want you to hold onto." And last but most important, "I love you."
After awhile, Gibbs pulled her lower so her head rested under his chin. He held her tightly, wrapping his legs around hers as well, until they couldn't get much closer. Jenny had her arms around her husband's neck and pressed her body against his. He held his hands still on her back, relishing the feel of them, skin to skin.
Jenny pulled back and moved to kiss him. In an instant Jethro's hands were cradling her face, his lips taking control of hers. There was no passion in his kiss tonight, no promise of something more. Instead it was raw and desperate need she felt and Jenny poured her heart and her love into the kiss she returned, hoping he could sense it. They lay like that, entangled and sharing kisses, until the fatigue overwhelmed Gibbs and he pulled away.
"Thank you," he whispered against her hair.
Jenny smiled and waited until he turned on his side to sleep. Then she spooned him from behind, her arm around his waist and his hand overtop of hers. She waited until his breathing became deep and even before taking back her hand and undoing the clasp on her bra. She maneuvered out of it and pressed back in against her husband's body. One step at a time, that's all she was going for. And she felt more comfortable being partially naked if he wasn't awake and didn't look. Resting her head on the pillow behind his, Jenny closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.