Muse has headed off down a dark path, if you are of a delicate nature, don't read.
If you're an angst junkie, please let me know how we're doing!
Thanks
GBrit
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1.5 months ago
Kara watched as the Colonel slumped over in the chair, held upright only by the bonds securing his arms. Another trickle of blood started its way down his cheek from where Boomer had knocked him out.
She felt guilty because she was glad he was out cold. At least unconscious he wouldn't be able to witness her further humiliation. She'd thought it bad enough to be getting beaten up by the toasters in front of him, she was Starbuck after all and getting your ass handed to you on a plate was never a good thing, especially when a senior officer was in the same room. That it was the Colonel added to the irony.
The most senior planet side officer and the most senior Viper pilot left after the desertion of the Battlestar's, out of necessity they'd started to form a friendship. Initially to form the resistance they'd worked well together, and over time they found they had a lot in common, even if they still managed to push each others buttons now and then. After long days of strategy meetings they'd find themselves the only ones left standing and it became a sort of tradition that he would walk her home, the short journey long enough that they started to talk. They had become friends.
But now there could be no period of grace to compose herself as she'd had down on Caprica after finally getting the Arrow of Apollo. No time to regroup, clean her wounds and pull on her Starbuck mask before showing up and brushing aside her injuries with a smirk and a glib comment about seeing the other guy. No, this time a man she valued the opinion of more than she'd ever thought possible was with her every step of the way. He saw first hand exactly how she sustained every injury, watched her reaction to the infliction of pain, and heard every grunt of pain, every whimper of fear, every scream of agony as it happened. No matter how much she tried, he saw straight through her failing attempts at bravado. And at the end of the day, he started to see her as Kara, and not Starbuck.
It was that that scared her more than anything else. She always thought of Kara as the scared little girl still afraid of her mother. Kara was the weak young instructor that caused the death of the only man she'd ever truly loved because she didn't want to disappoint him like she'd disappointed everyone else. Kara was the girl who'd been duped by cylons before, who'd had gods knew what done to her, taken from her. Kara was weak. But Kara was who the Colonel was getting to know, no matter how hard Starbuck tried to push her aside.
She was pulled out of her reverie abruptly as Leobon slammed her back against the cell wall, a powerful hand on her throat keeping her upright. His other hand continued to roam over her chest, tracing the patterns of bruises and blood with the tip of the wickedly sharp knife, not cutting, just lightly skimming her skin. Still in pain from the beating and tazer shocks and limited by the gag she found it difficult to calm her breathing enough that her chest stopped heaving, trying to minimise the chance of getting cut.
As the knife came to rest over a particularly colourful bruise over the side of her left breast, Leobon looked up into her eyes, holding her poorly disguised frightened gaze.
"Its amazing really Kara. You created us to be just like you, living, breathing, bleeding copies of humans. And it worked, you've seen me bleed, and even sweat." He winked at her as he continued. "But, for all that, for all your attempts to make us like you, we still don't feel like you, not really. We're all a little too perfect. A little too….manufactured. We may act like you, but we don't feel, we don't have emotions like you. Sure, we try, but how do you recreate things like pleasure….." he sliced down, cutting a shallow gash down across her ribs, a trickle of blood escaping the torn flesh. "…or pain". He didn't take his eyes off hers as she bit down on her gag to stop from giving him the pleasure of a sound. He watched her like a child watches a toy, trying to figure out how it works.
"You made me bleed Kara, and I felt what you would call pain. When you hit me it hurt, when you tried to drown me I could feel my lungs screaming for air. But I knew that I didn't have to feel that. But I did, I kept on feeling it. And it fascinated me. Why would you create us to feel like that? What drove you to give your creation such a sensation?" The knife moved across her stomach, pausing on a boot mark clearly imprinted on her flesh. "And then I realised, it was your idea of control. You couldn't just create us to do the jobs you didn't want to, you had to have a control mechanism. And you couldn't just kill us, that would be abhorrent to your morals. So you gave us pain, so that you could moderate our behaviour if we ever went wrong."
The knife moved on coming to rest on her collarbone, his eyes not once leaving hers.
"It fascinates me still. I can see the path of things Kara, I know what the future holds, for you, for me, for everything. Yet still I have curiosity. Why do you think that is? To know that what will be will be, but to still want to experience every second. Curiosity, I wonder why you gave us that aswell. And I feel sorry for you that you did. You see I have this curiosity, this desire for you Kara. It was always destined to be, you would always eventually come to me like this, you and I were meant to be. We are to be the first of a new generation Kara, the parents of a new race."
He watched the glimmer of despair wash over her eyes, blink and you'd miss it, but it was there.
"Even now I see you think you can beat me, that you can get out of this. But you and I both know its not to be. You and I, we are meant to be together. Last time was a mere prelude to this, a gentle introduction. I want to experience your pain Kara."
And now the knife fell to the waistband of her pants. A quick slice and she felt the fabric loosen around her hips. Adrenaline flooded her system as she refused to believe this could be happening, refused to allow this damned machine to do this to her any longer. Still held against the wall by her throat she used the only option, her leg striking out against his knee. He buckled, tilted to the right but held himself upright using his grip on her, the pressure on her throat shutting off her air, black spots danced dangerously in her vision. The pressure relented slightly, his amused eyes found hers once again. The knife waved back and forth across her vision.
"No Starbuck, you don't get out of it that easily. You stay awake and aware unless I want you otherwise."
The knife once more dropped out of her sight as he spun her around, flattening her now face first against the wall and into the waiting hands of Boomer, her hands gripping Kara's bare shoulders from behind like a vice. Kara heard the voice of what she once considered her best friend over her shoulder, the tone condescending, so unlike the copy back on Galactica.
"Don't fight this Kara. You know I'm looking forward to this, to study you, to be here at a moment in history."
Kara's attention was diverted at that moment, Leobon had taken the opportunity of having his hands free to divest her of the rest of her clothes, pants and shorts both pulled away from her legs in one.
Her mind went into melt down as Boomer yanked her away from the wall and held her close against her chest, a steel arm across her throat keeping her struggles at bay. Sheer disbelief rattled around her head as she realised she was now naked and exposed in a harshly lit room at the mercy of two obviously insane toasters. Once again she thanked the Gods she was starting to lose faith in that Tigh was out cold. Her humiliation was total at that moment in time, shame reddened her chest, up her neck and across her cheeks, an outward manifestation she could not prevent and she once again cursed her blond colouring.
In her head she knew she shouldn't find nakedness an issue. The military life soon drummed out any shyness and for years now she'd been stripping down with the rest of her unit, male and female. After the first couple of red faced attempts it just became a way of life and had never been an issue again. But in her heart she knew this was entirely different. This forced nakedness, the deliberate and forceful removal of her clothes was designed only to humiliate and embarrass. To expose her to her captors and anyone else who might look. To strip away her sense of self and security.
And right now she knew it had worked to devastating effect. Unable to even attempt to cover herself, arms still bound behind her, she had no recourse, no method of preserving any dignity. And as Leobon stood in front of her and just ran his eyes up and down her form over and over again, the shame built, pushing aside the anger.
Eventually Leobon tore his gaze away from her body back to her eyes, he smirked as he saw her downcast gaze and the signs of one or two tears that had escaped her control. He stepped into her personal space, his hands on her hips, a cruel parody of a lovers embrace.
Kara felt utterly trapped between the two machines, she could feel Boomer's body pressed against her back in more than a friendly way and now he was right up in her face. She was totally out of any choice, and control over her own being. No matter what she tried it would not get her out of this situation. She felt hope slip away to be replaced by utter despair, and fear, a fear so all encompassing she could no longer prevent herself from shaking.
"Look at me Starbuck." His voice soft, so soft, almost a caress.
She kept her eyes down. She refused to look at him, to show him so directly her fear.
His voice rose, the frakker obviously enjoying himself.
"Come on Starbuck, look at me, you know you want to".
Even though the gag he could make out a quiet, resigned "frak you".
"Not just yet Kara, wouldn't want the Colonel to miss the show would we". As he thought, that got her attention as her eyes flashed to his, obviously hoping she'd misheard.
"You see much as I want you Kara" he pressed his obvious arousal against her as she tried to back away but was held solid by the solid body behind her "I want the Colonel to watch this aswell. Two birds with one stone you see, I get the information I want from your Colonel who will surely give it up if he thinks he can save you from me, and I get to fulfil your destiny Kara. I'm sure if we try enough times, you'll conceive eventually."
Her eyes showed him everything he needed as her defences crumbled to show her raw terror. He leant down and kissed her chastely on the forehead.
"I'll give you a little time to prepare."
And with that he and Boomer let her go and left the room without bothering to untie her or the Colonel.
She staggered to the nearest corner and used it to help her slide ungracefully down to the floor with her arms out of commission behind her back. The shock of the cool metal on her exposed skin breaking goose bumps out across her flesh. She pushed into the corner, drawing her knees up in front of her, trying to hide her nakedness.
As she sat there numb and in shock her eyes rested on the figure of Tigh, slumped over in the chair. She realised she was angry at him, furious infact. If he had just gone out the sewer pipe when he had the chance she wouldn't be in this mess. Gods damn him, why couldn't he just listen. Her misdirected anger pulling her thoughts away from what was to come.
It was only as the lights went out and she was left with the afterimage of the cell behind her eyelids that she realised she was crying.