Evening all, muse is flowing all over the place now…next part up, comments very much appreciated, even just to let me know your reading!

GBrit

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the bed behind the curtain the subject of Tigh's recollection was very much awake, aware and able to hear the conversation. Kara was curled up on her side, shaking and crying silently as Tigh laid out every hateful moment of their incarceration. As she lay there she had nothing but disgust with herself, the very act of pretending to sleep so she didn't have to face telling anyone what happened adding to her overwhelming shame.

She'd never run from anything in her life until now.

Back in that cell she'd had no choice, no ability to run, either from the cylons or from the ever present sympathetic gaze of Saul Tigh. He'd been with her throughout, he'd seen every moment of her weakness, heard every one of her screams and was witness to her demolition and utter submission.

The shame, the humiliation burned deep down.

Rage, anger, they would come, she knew herself well. But right now she could not get past the total loss of self she felt. All the things she valued, her reputation, her physical strength, her attitude, her control, all had been stripped from her. In their place was left the shame and physical pain like she'd never experienced, and didn't know how to handle. The unrelenting agony had shattered her.

As she lay there she couldn't find an inch of skin unmarked by a bruise or a cut or welt. Her cracked ribs made any position impossible to maintain for more than a few minutes, even with the tight wrap Cottle had applied. Sitting up impossible from the pain to areas she didn't even want to contemplate right now. The very act of breathing complicated further by her bruised throat. Her recently set shoulder still ached even through the meds being pumped into her through the IV. The fact it had been dislocated more than once adding to the problem.

And her arm, that broken bone now set and plastered was the worst of all. The constant throb mocking her as she tried so desperately to ignore it. The reason for the break causing more pain than the injury itself, a physical reminder of her inevitable surrender.

1 WEEK AGO

Leobon had just finished with her again. The most recent attack in a long line of degradation.

Kara found herself lying face down on the cold floor, in front of the ever present chair containing Saul. As expected she felt Leobon drag her to her knees as tears fell unchecked over battered cheeks as she shook silently with cold and shock. Head down, she hadn't looked anyone in the eye for weeks.

She'd reached the end, all fight and resistance gone, a situation she could never had imagined in her worst nightmares had brought her to this semblance of her former self. And so as she watched Leobon once again make a show of loading the gun with a solitary bullet she could take no more.

Four times they'd played this out, he'd load the gun, one bullet into a six cylinder, spin, lock, muzzle forced against the back of her head, a pause, and then the awful moment when he pulled the trigger. Four times she'd been convinced her time was up, and every time when she heard his mocking laughter she knew the torture was going to continue, she'd cheated death only to suffer a worse fate.

So this time as she watched him spin the cylinder she spoke up, her voice quiet and rough from her screams, the words stilted as she tried to control her tears.

"Do it. Just get it over with. Just kill me. Please. Just kill me". Head down, no eye contact even as she heard Saul's sharp intake of breath at her admission.

As soon as she'd spoken she knew it had been a mistake.

"OK Starbuck. You don't want to play anymore? How 'bout we play with the Colonel instead?"

With that Leobon raised the gun and levelled it at Saul and she knew, was one hundred per cent certain that this time the bullet would fire.

PRESENT TIME

Kara wondered if she'd ever forget throwing her aching, abused body between Leobon and Tigh as the cylon pulled the trigger, barely deflecting the shot away from Saul. And she wondered if she'd ever forget Saul's face as they punished her for her interference.

Perfect memory showed her the scene. Six holding her flat against the wall by her throat. Boomer stepping out of the cell after grabbing her wrist and pulling her arm half across the door frame, Leobon watching this as he eased the heavy steel door back and forth between his hands eliciting a nerve grating screech on each movement. And then her final memory before she'd passed out.

Tigh's eyes widening as he started to shout "no" even as she saw Leobon suddenly slam the door closed, smashing her arm between door and frame.

After that she'd been out for several hours, and when she'd come to she'd found herself cocooned in the protective warmth of her XO, both laying against the back wall of the cell, as far from the door as possible.

It was the first time she'd let him continue to hold her once she'd been awake and aware.

And it was the first time she'd been clothed again.

For weeks, ever since the rapes started they had not allowed her clothing of any kind even as Saul stayed fully clothed. In the beginning after that first attack he'd given her his pants and one of his tanks, her desperate need for cover overcoming her self-perceived weakness at accepting his offer. But when Leobon found her dressed again both wished they hadn't bothered.

The cylon had forced Saul to undress her before re-clothing himself. Their initial protests against what would be equally humiliating for them both were abruptly halted when Leobon twisted Kara's arm high up her back, not stopping until with a resounding pop he dislocated her shoulder. After that Saul had no choice but to divest her of his clothes, now not only humiliating for them both but beyond painful for Kara.

They learnt their lesson fast.

Afterwards when they were alone again Tigh had managed to get her shoulder back in its normal position, during which she'd once again passed out. On waking she found herself wrapped in his warm, strong, protective embrace and wanted nothing more than to stay there where she felt safe. But every time she forced him to let her go, unable to accept his help, or his pity.