"You're kidding, right?" Rachel asked, her eyes wide as she tried to picture her straight laced friend doing something so adventurous. She turned to Jenny. "Is he serious? Did you really go skydiving with him?"

Jenny glared at her husband. "I thought there was a saying, 'what happens on the mission...'? Does that sound familiar?"

Gibbs took another bite of Noemi's casserole and smiled. "I thought there were no secrets between best friends?" Her look said she was going to get him for this later, but he quiet enjoyed how she looked when she was annoyed.

Finally Jenny sighed. "Yes Rach, it happened. But, it was a once in a lifetime thing and no, I will not go with you," she cut her friend off when she saw Rachel's mouth open. Rachel thrived on doing things no sane person would consider.

Rachel frowned. "Well you're no fun."

Jenny laughed. "You've said that a thousand times since we met and yet you're still here."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Be boring. See if I care. I'll just have better stories to tell."

"That's because most of my stories are still classified," Jenny pointed out, picking a carrot out of the casserole mash-up on her plate.

With both husband and best friend covertly watching, Jenny knew she had to at least try to eat something. Tonight it wasn't even her stomach, she just didn't feel like eating. Gibbs and Rachel both kept a close eye on Jenny, what they saw causing concern. Rachel had been there so she didn't want to preach and Gibbs knew the conversation wouldn't go anywhere, even if he was right that she should be eating more. So for the time being they were still at an impasse.

Finally they all pushed back their plates and declared themselves stuffed.

"That was amazing," Rachel stated. "Are you sure I can't just borrow Noemi for awhile?"

"No!" Jenny laughed. "Noemi is mine...umm, ours," she amended when Jethro raised his eyebrows at her. "If you want a housekeeper and cook, you need to find your own."

Rachel sighed. "No room in my apartment for an extra person and no money to pay for them. Too bad. Guess I'll just have to beg meals here sometimes."

Gibbs met Rachel's eyes. "You're always welcome here."

Jenny was surprised, but glad that her husband had accepted her best friend so quickly.

Rachel smiled. "Thank you Jethro. I'll make sure not to wear it out." Before either could protest, she held up a hand. "And believe me, I know it's possible."

There was no dessert tonight which was fine because no one had extra room for it, but Jenny was thinking she should make cookies anyways, just to have around. With three of them the table was cleared, dishes done upon Rachel's insistence, with Gibbs helping her because Jenny refused, and the leftovers put away in no time at all. They retired to the library with mugs of tea and coffee.

Sinking into the soft cushions, Rachel sighed contentedly and looked around. "For the record Jen, I'm super jealous that you have your own library. Most of my books are still in boxes." She sighed. "It's like keeping friends in a closet. I feel really bad."

While Gibbs wasn't quite following, Jenny smiled fondly at her friend. "You and your books Rachel, sometimes I think you'd rather live in them than here."

"It depends on the book," Rachel said as if she thought about this often. "But I guess I'm here for a reason, so there's no point in wanting to be in a world someone else created. Still," she said thoughtfully, "it is nice to get lost in another world once in awhile."

Jenny snorted and explained for Gibbs' benefit. "Once in awhile really means several times a day. You're looking at the person who not only could pass our hardest exams with barely any studying, but she also can read an entire four hundred page novel in a single day. Sometimes she forgot to eat she was so into the story and she certainly didn't notice she had a roommate."

Gibbs did not approach books that way and couldn't quite understand, though Jenny had been known to tune the world out with a novel sometimes.

"We've all got different skills," he said at last, feeling like he really wasn't part of the conversation. When he finished his coffee, Gibbs stood up and walked over to the couch the girls were sharing. Leaning down, he kissed his wife on the cheek and she looked at him questioningly. "Okay if I'm gone for a bit?" he asked. "I'll leave you two to chat."

Jenny nodded, wondering where he was going but assuming it probably had something to do with his boat, which had been neglected of late. "Sure," she agreed. "But don't be gone too long."

"I won't," he assured her. "Nice to see you again Rachel."

"Likewise Jethro," Rachel smiled at him.

Then he left the room, two curious ladies watching him go. As soon as they heard the front door close, Rachel turned to Jenny.

"I hope I didn't scare him off," she said quickly. "Do you think he felt left out?"

Jenny laughed. "Girl talk scares Jethro. I think he feels safer if he's not in the room when there's a possibility that it might happen."

"Oh." Rachel was glad it wasn't all her fault. "Well, I guess that's a healthy fear when it's the two of us in a room together."

"Exactly," Jenny smiled, leaning back on the couch and propping her feet up on the coffee table.

There was comfortable silence between the friends for several minutes. Finally Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper.

"Hey Jen?" she said.

"Mmm?" Jenny responded, waiting for the rest.

"I was reading the other day-"

"Shocking," Jenny murmured.

"And I found some quotes that I thought might help you," Rachel continued as if Jenny hadn't spoken. She was used to the interruptions and just talked through them. Jenny had always felt the need to comment on what she was saying.

"Oh," Jenny looked surprised, and reached for the paper but Rachel held it back.

"Let me read them to you," she said.

"Okay," Jenny agreed.

Rachel cleared her throat. "The first one is from C.S. Lewis. Remember him Jen? He wrote the Chronicles of Narnia?"

Jenny nodded vaguely. It was sometimes hard to keep up with all the books Rachel talked about.

"Anyways, it's from a book called The Problem of Pain. He said, 'It takes courage to live through suffering, and it takes honesty to observe it.'" She paused to let Jenny hear the words. "The other one is G.K. Chesterton, who was actually one of Lewis's favourite authors. It's something to think about." She squinted at the page, trying to read her own writing which was more of a scrawl most days. "'To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything else seems hopeless.'"

Jenny liked the second quote, baring the mention of forgiveness. "There's a lot of wisdom in that quote," she said finally.

"I think so," Rachel smiled a little, "but I'm biased. I love Chesterton." She fiddled with the end of her ponytail. "Jenny, do you think you could ever forgive the guy who raped you?"

Her friend's eyes widened in shock. "What are you talking about Rachel?"

Rachel looked away for a moment before meeting Jenny's eyes. "Not today and not tomorrow, not this month and maybe not this year, but someday Jenny, you will have to forgive the guy that did this to you. If you don't, it will destroy you on the inside, like it did me," she added softly, her eyes wet. She took a deep breath. "I don't want to see that happen to you."

Jenny looked at her friend sharply. "Rach?" she asked, not sure she wanted to know the truth behind those words.

Rachel fixed her eyes on the pattern of the couch, tracing it with one finger. "It took me ten years to forgive the guy who hurt me Jen. Ten years that I spent hating him and hating what he did to me and after awhile, the hate was too much. It ate me up inside and it hurt so bad," she closed her eyes, "I didn't know what to do, but instead of forgiving, I tried to control the hate, to feel something else. It was the wrong choice."

Jenny didn't like where this was going. "What did you do Rachel?"

Slowly, her friend pulled up the sleeve of her shirt. Jenny had to stifle a gasp when she saw all the thin, white, raised lines, criss-crossing over each other on her friend's skin. Tears filled her eyes as she reached out one finger and ran it gently over the scars.

"Oh Rach," she said softly, "I never knew."

Rachel pulled her sleeve down again. "You weren't supposed to, that was the whole point." She struggled to find words to describe what she'd done. "When you're cutting, you don't let anyone else see. Self-harm is all about control and coping with stuff inside yourself or being so overwhelmed by an event or issue that you just need to feel something, even if it's pain. You don't go around showing people the scars, because they will want to help and they would do that by taking away the only thing that works."

She shrugged, not liking the guilt she saw in Jenny's face. "I didn't show you so you could feel bad Jenny. I just want you to see what the consequence of not forgiving can be." Rachel put her hand over Jenny's, forcing her friend to look at her. "Whatever you do to deal with the rape Jen, please don't hurt yourself. I will always be here to listen and talk, whatever you need. And you have Jethro too. I don't want to see you get hurt anymore than you already are."

Jenny shook her head. She'd never thought about taking her feelings out on herself or adding new scars to the ones that had yet to fade. But she couldn't even think about her own situation, not with what Rachel had just revealed.

"Ten years Rach?" she asked unbelievingly. "I can't...I wish I could've done something. I wish I'd known. I'm sorry."

Rachel smiled. "Doesn't Jethro have a rule about apologies Jen?" But it was still too fresh for Jenny to joke about. "Hey," her friend said, "look at me Jennifer." Reluctantly Jenny met Rachel's eyes. "Stop beating yourself up about not knowing, I mean it. It was a long time ago. I got help. I'll have the scars for the rest of my life, but it's been twelve years since the last time I cut. So stop feeling bad for me."

Being ordered to stop feeling like a horrible friend didn't suddenly make it happen for Jenny. She couldn't believe that Rachel had gone through something like that and she'd never known. But Jenny knew she couldn't change what had already happened. And no matter what, she was determined not to be that far out of the loop again. They were finally a part of each other's lives again, and Jenny hoped they would stay like that for the rest of their lives.

Taking a deep breath, she squeezed Rachel's hand once and then let the issue go. Rachel saw the effort Jenny was making to not fuss over her revelation. Some other time, if she wanted, they could talk more about it. But this time it was about Jenny and Rachel was happy for it to stay that way for awhile.

"So," she smiled brightly at her friend, "anyone for A Knight's Tale?"

Jenny's laugh was short but genuine. "Are you kidding me? I haven't seen that movie since college. How many times did we watch it?"

"Only about once a day when we got in the mood for it. Best. Movie. Ever." Rachel declared.

"That may be a slight overstatement," Jenny cautioned.

"Nope," her friend said firmly, "it's just been too long since you've seen it. But lucky for you," she pulled a DVD out of her bag, "I brought it with me."

"We need popcorn," Jenny said, giving in gracefully.

"With chocolate?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Still haven't outgrown that, huh?" Jenny teased.

Rachel looked offended. "No!"

"Come on," Jenny waved her friend towards the kitchen. "I'm sure I can find a chocolate bar for you to melt. I'll get the popcorn."

"Yes!" Rachel grinned gleefully. "I've missed our chick flick nights."

Jenny wrapped her arm around her friend for a side hug. "Me too Rach, me too."