AUTHORS NOTE: Okay, so this chapter was uploaded super quickly. That's because I've actually had this one floating around for a while now, and I've finally fished it out. Basically, it's an AU where Grant Ward never had the guts to throw FitzSimmoms into the ocean. This is actually sadder than I intended. Perhaps it was my trying to turn Fitz's possible condition into a good thing. I hope you enjoy, I actually really loved writing this.
Also, I'd just like to thank all the people who favourited or followed. It means the world to me!
SUMMARY: In a world where Ward never had the guts to drop that pod into the ocean, Fitz and Simmons are never quite the same.
CHAPTER TWO: It Was Nice, Wasn't It?
"Are you scared?"
"No."
Jemma looks over at Fitz carefully, slightly surprised. "Why not?"
"Ward will figure things out. They'll come and save us." His voice sounds so confident that Simmons feels her heart twist. She turns to him after a moment. He's looking at her, but his eyes aren't really focused.
"Fitz.."
"He's our friend." That's all he says, and Simmons can't bear to argue anymore, so instead she turns back to the door, standing up to study it. The attempt would be useless, she knows. The door was barred from the outside, and Ward had made it as sturdy as he could.
"I'm sorry for dragging you out into the field," she says suddenly. Fitz doesn't even look surprised, although he shook his head slowly.
"It's not your fault." Simmons exchanges a small smile with Fitz, but she can see the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. She shifts until she's sitting next to Fitz, nudging him with her shoulder. She's slightly comforted by the gentle rumbling of the Bus as it flew, but fear still curdled in her stomach. What's going to become of them? Of course, they were fine for now, but what about when they landed? They couldn't lock themselves in this little bunker for ever. She doesn't need to be a genius to know how long they can survive without food or water.
"What's wrong?" She might as well pass the time away by figuring out her relationship with Fitz. Ever since the whole Hydra thing, her and Fitz haven't quite been the same. She misses the easy chatter and cheerful bantering.
"Nothing," Fitz mumbles, and Simmons almost rolls her eyes, turning to give him a reprimanding look.
"Fitz.."
"It's just.."
"Ward?" She guesses. It's not an outlandish idea, she's been tossing and turning at night as well.
"Has he been Hydra all this time?" Fitz's voice is uncertain. "What if Garret's brainwashed him?"
Simmons studies him in sympathy, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder. "I don't think he's brainwashed," she says softly. It's rather harsh, but she believes it's true. There were no symptoms, nothing to indicate anything but plain betrayal. "But I think he cares. There's a reason we're not floating out on the ocean, right?"
She hopes her gentle smile will help to reassure him, and she's almost disappointed when he doesn't return the gesture.
"Yeah."
"When we get out of here, we're going to talk to the team, okay?" She's not sure what compels her to say that, but she forges on anyway. "We can talk to Coulson, and May. Skye, too." She resists the urge to add Triplett. She knows he's been bitter to the specialist, although she hasn't got a clue why.
"Okay." Fitz's gaze is suddenly flickering with emotion. "Jemma.." He chokes out, but she's already drawn him into a hug. When she pulls away, she scans his features.
"Yes?"
"It's.. nothing." And she knows it's not nothing, but she leans her head on his shoulder and they wait in silence. The gentle hum of the plane engine shakes the floor slightly, but it comforts Jemma. Nothing much happens, although they try and rig up a communications device. It doesn't work, but Simmons hopes that the team had managed to use the tracker to chase down the plane.
...
It's a long time before there's figures outside the door. It's May, and she's never been so relieved to see the Calvary in her life. They find out that they'd missed all the action, that Garret's dead and Ward is captured. Coulson is director, something Simmons can't quite wrap her head around. They're escorted to the Playground and set to the task of rebuilding SHIELD.
Everything erupts into a pile of work and business, and Simmons finds herself seeing the other team members less and less, lost amongst the piles of instructions that she's been set. The young scientist has always been a worker, and the destruction of SHIELD isn't going to change that. She barely sees Fitz anymore, and whenever she does, she comes up with an excuse to get away.
Simmons isn't exactly sure why. He's done nothing wrong, and he knows that. He's been just as busy, but while Simmons is drifting further and further away, Fitz is growing closer, bonding. She notes with a sad smile that while her work efforts soar, she doesn't quite get the same thrill as she used to. She's still a scientist, she still gets excited over various discoveries. But being brilliant is no fun when there's no one to share it with.
Honestly, Simmons doesn't mind. She isn't a stranger to being alone. She still talks to others, brief chatters about the weather and work matters. She watches as Coulson blossoms as a director. As reports flood in about May's incredible skills. Skye's hacker skills, Triplett's easy charisma and smooth lies. Fitz's ingenuity, clever as ever.
She wonders sometimes, if things could have been a little different. Perhaps if she had stopped working so hard. But she would never know, and it was too late to change. So on she went.
...
It's late at night when she properly talks to him again. Simmons is perched in one of the 'special rooms' of the Playground. The room is supposed to be for design sketches and slide shows, but it's hardly ever used. Koenig had rigged up every room to special sceneries. This one has always been her favourite. It shows a beautiful clear starlit night. She likes to pick out the various signs, although she's always scoffed at astrology. Perhaps there was just something magical about stars.
"Still like the stars?" The voice is so soft, she almost jumps. But she doesn't instead nodding, although she knows he can't see her. She knows who it is, of course. Simmons would have to be silly to forget Fitz, no matter the distance between them.
"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Her voice is breezy, but it's obvious their relationship isn't the same. She's slightly surprised when he sits himself next to her on the floor, but she says nothing about it.
"Yeah." They sit in silence for a long time, their heads tilted up to stare at the ceiling, with it's fake stars. Simmons with her legs tucked against her chest, him leaning back on his palms.
"I miss you." He's so quiet, Simmons almost misses it. She looks over to him, and his expression makes her heart warm. He's so different now, and yet still the same.
She offers him a small smile. "Me too."
"Why did it change?"
"I don't know, Fitz. Everything changes at one point."
"Did we have to change?"
Simmons doesn't reply. She knows that he's watching her for an answer, but she can't answer. Maybe because the answer is no.
"I'm sorry."
She's alarmed then, because she didn't mean for him to blame himself. "Don't be," she tells him. "It was nice, wasn't it? Being friends, I mean."
"The best." She waits while he pauses, most likely gathering his words. "Can't we go back to that?"
"Oh, Fitz," she says, finally turning to him. Guilt twists at her heart, but she tells him the truth with a sad smile. "I don't think so."
...
Jemma Simmons is reassigned the next day.